Watching Jessica strut out of her Fifth Avenue apartment building in four-inch, platform shoes, wearing a tiny piece of black cloth that barely covers her torso, makes me want to kill Isaac. Are we going to a barbeque or a night club? My jeans and Yankees tee shirt looks completely mismatched with her getup.
I decide to wait in my red Jeep Wrangler and let her open the passenger door for herself. Too many gentlemanly gestures may send the wrong message and I want to make my platonic intentions blatantly clear. After she hops into the passenger seat, she leans over seductively and greets me with a kiss on the cheek. Her right hand holds my face in place for a second as she whispers in my ear, "Everett, love. I was so happy when Isaac told me you were picking me up."
"I feel a bit underdressed. We're going to a barbeque, right?"
"Yes, but you can never get too dressed up. You never know what will happen," she replies with a smile and lowers the sun visor to look at her reflection in the mirror. Her thick, black eyelashes flutter faster than a butterfly's wings, regardless of the amount of goo covering each lash. She dabs her caramel lips with her middle finger and grins at herself to check for anything stuck in her teeth. The smell of some ammonia-based perfume slowly fills my car and attacks my senses, forcing me to scratch my nose and wipe my eyes from the sting. I painfully recall Jubilee's tantalizing scent right along her neckline. My mouth waters as I remember kissing her bare neck and holding back the urge to suck on her skin. She was the aroma of pure delight, a complete contrast to this artificially manufactured fragrance.
We cross the Fifty Ninth Street Bridge with little traffic only to get lost in the empty streets of Long Island City. Jessica's phone GPS wasn't working, and she was certain she could guide me to the apartment building from memory, but after a few turns going nowhere I turn on my GPS and finally get us on track. Within five minutes we arrive at a large, new development overlooking the East River.
We walk along a perfectly manicured front lawn and tree lined entrance to the twenty-story building, Jessica leads me past a small kid's fair in the building's enclosed garden complete with large blow-up boxing ring and several carnival stands. Aryana's photo flashes into my head for a brief moment before Jessica pulls my hand forward and takes me away from the bustling sound of laughing children to the other side of the building to see the majestic New York City skyline. Although the view is plastered all over Manhattan, in every sidewalk stand selling souvenirs, and seen in countless movies and television shows, none of the replicas compare to the real thing.
"See, it's a nice view isn't it?" Jessica asks as she spins on her toes with her arms stretched outwards like a model displaying a prize on a game show. I nod in agreement and smile at her playfulness. Even though she has tons of makeup on and is wearing a dress sized for a twelve-year-old girl, Jessica is stunning, in a pole-dancer, bachelor-party-stripper sort of way.
A short, portable bar is setup on the fenced boardwalk next to a large smoking grill. Several people sit at metal tables eating and drinking. Two guys gawk at Jessica as she leans over the bar to talk to the bartender. She cocks her head flirtatiously at the young server, who looks like he's still in high school, and after nodding like a bobble head doll he hands her two shots. When I catch up to her, she smiles grandly with her offer.
"What's this?" I shout over a gust of wind.
"Here's to an awesome night!" She shouts back and downs her drink.
I take the shot glass in my hand and look closely at the clear liquid, pursing my lips. Maybe I have been a bit uptight. Isaac calls me an old man because I don't like to party the way he does, going to bars to flirt with women at least twice a week. It just doesn't appeal to me. But as Jessica looks up at me with eager eyes, waiting for me to throw back the shot, the thought of just partying the night away doesn't sound so bad. It's better than staying home and mooning over a woman who doesn't even remember my name. No. I'm not going to think about her. I down the shot faster than Jessica did and gasp at the engine-gas flavor of whatever I just swallowed.
I wonder...how much would I have to drink to experience a partial or complete blackout?
"Another," I shout at the bartender and Jessica jumps up and down on her platform heels, her body bouncing salaciously in that tiny black dress. The setting sun draws my attention and I feel a sense of renewal as the evening approaches. I take a deep breath, appreciating the cool East River winds against my face, and decide that Jessica is not so bad. She is intent on showing me a good time, why reject her?
We take another shot, and another, and on the fourth shot Jessica slips her left arm around my shoulders. "I knew you would unwind sooner or later," she purrs in her British-turned-New-York accent, pouting her lips just a few inches from my face. I smile, now feeling the warming effects of the tequila, and wrap my right arm around her tiny waist to draw her body in close to mine. It's not the same as last night, but nice enough.
"Sorry it took me so long. I've had a lot on my mind." I stare at her mouth as she bites her bottom lip.
"Better late than never," she says before kissing me.
I don't exactly kiss her back.
Jessica's face forms a confused grimace as she pulls away. "I've had better kisses with my cousin." She rolls her eyes and turns towards the bartender and asks for a Samuel Adams. Her tall stance suddenly becomes relaxed, even a bit lazy, as she leans on her elbows along the padded border of the bar. All flirtatious intentions are gone.
"Sorry about that." I mumble.
Jessica sighs and then asks in an uninterested tone, "What's her name?"
"Who?"
"Please," Jessica replies. "You're not gay, and I'm practically throwing myself at you. So you are either pining over someone you can't have or doesn't want you. So which one is it? Isaac told me you had a bad date last night. Is it her?" Jessica puts both her hands at her waist, leans on one leg, and raises her eyebrows at me, waiting for my response.
"Jubilee is her name." I say, and gesture to the bartender for some water.
"That's a fun name. So what happened?"
"We spent the entire night together. She woke up this morning and claimed she didn't remember anything. Then she called me Isaac."
"Isaac? Does she know Isaac?"
"Yes. Isaac had a blind date and she was the blind date's friend. We hit it off right from the start, but she drank too much and doesn't remember any of it."
"So, she has blackouts." Jessica states seriously, with her eyebrows furrowed. "She admitted to it?"
"Yes."
"So, she wakes up in your apartment, in your bed?" Jessica asks and I nod. Her voice drops an octave when she whispers, "Did you have sex?"
"No. I found her in my bed, naked and asleep."
"Okay, so, she wakes up naked, in your bed, probably with a mountainous hangover and she tells you that she doesn't remember anything from the night before."
"Right."
"I would have been mortified. I don't get blackouts when I get drunk, ever, but if I woke up naked in some guy's bed and not remembered we had sex, I think I would rush out of his flat as soon as possible."
"But we didn't have sex. She stripped naked in the bathroom and snuck into my bed when I was in the living room. Nothing happened after that."
Jessica rolls her eyes. "Just try to look at it from her point of view-"
"She should have at least remembered my name."
"Oh, Christ, there's that delicate male ego again. I took you to be a stronger man than that, Everett."
I slam the glass of water down on the bar counter and glare at Jessica before storming away. Her heels clack on the boardwalk behind me. I turn around to let her catch up.
"Everett, I'm just trying to help since you can't seem to stop thinking about her. Trust me, I've been catching you with your mind wandering so much that it's a bit insulting considering I got all dressed up to seduce you." She waves her hand as if to shoo a fly. "But never mind that, this is far more interesting." Jessica and I walk back to the bar. "So, she forgot your name and you let her leave this morning without explaining. Am I right?"
"She did explain," I reply, rolling my eyes at having to explain this out loud. It's bad enough I can't stop thinking about it. "She remembers nothing. And if she remembers nothing, she probably feels nothing for me. So why bother?"
"Did you two have a good time last night?"
Jessica's questions are starting to irritate me. "Yes, it was an amazing night." I say pointedly.
"Did she apologize for not remembering?"
"In a way, she was a little bitchy about it."
"Relax...that's your male ego refusing to look at it from her perspective. I majored in psychology in college and did my senior paper on the defense mechanisms for both psychosis and neurosis in women. Who knew it would be valuable in marketing?" Jessica laughs and takes a quick sip of her beer.
I shake my head, fearful of where this conversation is going.
"Here is what I think happened...she woke up naked, embarrassed, and maybe even scared because she didn't know where she was. Her first inclination was to get out, go somewhere where she could be safe. When you confronted her, you got in the way of her impulse to flee and you instantly become a threat. She got defensive - angry even. Whatever you said to her was questionable, because she couldn't remember you."
"But I tried to explain to her-"
"It doesn't matter. She was on the defensive. Just try to put yourself in her shoes. She woke up naked...I'm certain she believes she had sex with you...how do you think she felt not remembering your name? And if I recall correctly, blackout drunks need time to remember, and you didn't really give her chance to-"
"I didn't give her a chance? She's the one who left!"
Jessica squints at me. "After she called you Isaac, what did you do?"
"Nothing."
"You let her leave."
"What was I supposed to do?"
"Nothing." Jessica says flatly. "You had to let her leave. She wasn't going to trust you until she remembered her night with you. She wasn't going to remember until she felt safe and had some time to think. There was nothing you could do...this morning." She smiles coyly at me. "So, what are you going to do now?"
"I'm not going to chase her down, if that's what you're suggesting."
Jessica shrugs her shoulders and leans her elbows onto the counter next to me. "It seems like she left quite an impression on you. Is she worth you putting your ego aside and giving her a second chance? I don't know." She shrugs her shoulders again with a victorious smirk.
I frown and shake my head. I've put my ego aside before, for Keri, and it backfired.
"Just don't wake up months from now, after going on dozens of meaningless dates with women whose name you will probably forget, and wish you should have gone after Julie Bee."
"Jubilee," I correct her, and she smiles grandly as if I proved her point. "So what, I just call her and ask her out to dinner? 'Hi Jubilee, I'm Everett, you know the guy you thought was Isaac. Let's meet up for dinner?'"
Jessica laughs at my goofy voice. "Just give it another go," she says. "What have you got to lose?"
Although it still aggravates me how Jubilee forgot my name, I admit I want to see her again. I want to hear her laughter, taste her lips, stroke her bare skin, and do a world of other things that left me wanting last night. I want to talk to her about everything, or just lie in bed and talk about nothing. I just want to be with her, and in a bad way.
"What's her full name?" Jessica interrupts my thoughts.
"Jubilee Sun Ray" I say, and watch Jessica tap her finger on her phone.
"Found her on Facebook. Her email is available. There, now you have no excuse."
I inhale through my clenched teeth and breathe out through my nose. I'm still not convinced this is the right move.
"Well, now that that's settled, you can leave. I don't want you to feel you need to stay with me. There are a lot of fine-looking men here and you're cramping my style."
"I'm not leaving you alone. I'll wait for Isaac."
"Isaac's not going to be here for a while." Jessica grabs my wrist and pulls me towards the apartment building. "Let's find Kile and then you can leave. I've known him forever and you won't have to worry about leaving me alone."
I nod and sigh in relief.