**WARNING!** If you haven't read "I Sold Myself to the Devil for Vinyls... Pitiful I Know" you might like to do that first in order to understand this story because it's in fact the POV of the male character, but like almost two years ago.. So I greatly recommend to read the real story first before reading this! Because this is in fact an "EXTRA".
Alrighty little ones, here it is, for the first time a FULL part of Blake's POV
Hope you enjoy it.. mouhahahahahahahahahahaha
Oh and I know cliff hanger blah blah blah! He doesn't die, we have a story afterwards don't freak!! ;P
Oh and I could have put "In Da Club" on the side thingy, but I was listening to this song while re-reading the part and I just thought "Dang I love that song" I'm a big The Kooks fan, people!! :P
Alright so.. yes I know I am EVILLLLL, and I torture you, but come on guys! It's all I have! ;P
Read, enjoy, vote and COMMENT!!!! :D
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I parked my car, making squealing sounds with my tires, in front of Shawn's house, in a spot too small for my Camero.
I rubbed my tired eyes and breathed in and out slowly.
Get out of the car, I told myself, fuck a girl or two, drink until you puke your guts out and if you're lucky enough you'll pass out and forget about everything.
My eyes almost got tear up when I thought about everything.
Everything being the girl I was in love with since fifth grade was dating my friend and school quarterback. They had been dating for almost a year and she had been in love with the guy ever since I had known her... They were probably going to end up together, get married, have kids, be happy, and then die... I, on the other hand would be alone for the rest of my life. I would fuck around until my penis screamed "Game Over, I'm dead", and my balls empty. I would be the old odd guy, the one hanging alone in a bar at fifty if my liver didn't shut down on me before, and I would die alone and I would die unhappy.
I would probably end up taking care of Miss Puss, Josh having plastered himself alive for some anarchist crap he called art... ya me and Miss Puss... what am I even thinking, Miss Puss liked Josh better... he'd probably plaster her with him...
I was snapped out of my thinking by a high pitch scream "BLAKE!!!!" by a girl wearing an extremely tight white dress, her blond hair showing the brown roots.
What was her name again? Clara, Lara, Sarah, Banana... I so didn't give a shit...
"Hey there." I answered, stepping out of the car, and locking my doors making it hunk.
"I'm SOOO glad you came!!" she said squishing her big boobs on my chest.
How the hell had she gotten so close so fast? I wasn't even drunk yet and I was already woozy...
Good job Blake, way to go!!
"I've been hoping to see you today" Clara/Lara/Banana whispered to my in a flirty tone.
Alright, I knew who I would bang tonight, I sighed in my head.
"You have? Well isn't it nice babe, cause I've been hoping to see you today too" I told her smiling seductively.
She giggled and then grabbed my hand and towed me inside Shawn house.
As soon as we stepped inside, I grabbed the first bottle of booze I could get my hands on and gulped a good mouthful.
Clara-whatever looked at me with one eyebrow raise. I frowned at her, but then lent her the bottle.
"No... I don't... are you planning on getting drunk or coming with me?" she asked and I don't think I'm the only one here who heard the emphasis on "coming".
"Can't I do both?" I asked her, and I couldn't help but smirk at her.
Seriously, I think the muscles in my face were programmed to smirk all the time... It was like I couldn't have a genuine smile... well it wasn't like I wanted to smile anyway...
It was either the smirking or the helpless eyes... That was all I could seem to do these days... But sometime even my smirks were helpless...
And I had to drink... Because I didn't want to think... Because if I thought then I wanted to shoot myself in the head...
If I did that, at least things would be right... I'd be dead, the way I should have been... the way things should have gone... If I did that I wouldn't feel guilty over Jayden's death and miserable over the one I wanted, cold shoulder...
"With what I'm planning, trust me, you don't want to be drunk" the girl said, snapping me out of my thinking, her hands sliding along my chest and then inside one of my jeans pocket, pulling me towards her.
Time to wake up buddy... I thought dryly.
We walked through the crowd of people dancing to the music, passed out on the floor, in X-rated make-out sessions or just standing, not sure about what they were doing here.
As we were heading up the stairs someone yelled behind me "MY WING MAN!!!"
Clark stumbled over me and hugged me while whispering in my ear "When you're done with her, just pass her along alright"
I slapped his back hard and agreed with a nod.
That girl was obviously a slut and I wouldn't give a crap about her afterwards.
"Where's the birthday boy?" I asked him, looking around for Shawn.
"The birthday boy is unwrapping his gift if you know what I mean" Clark answered wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
"Well if you see him tell him Happy Birthday" I said, sighing, and grabbed Something-ara's ass leading her towards one of the many rooms on the second floor.
Maybe that one could make me forget about her... maybe that one could make me feel better for once...
The first door I opened revealed a guy butt naked on top of a girl so I closed the door immediately back and headed for another one.
Lucky enough this one was empty. Girl-ara pushed me against the wall, her hands working on my jeans zipper, while I took another mouthful of alcohol, looking down at her.
"Can you please put that down?" she asked me, her hands grabbing my crotch, making my hand almost loosen its grip on my bottle.
I chunked down another mouthful of the burning liquid and then toss the bottle to the ground, drunk enough to have my thoughts a little blurry, so I wouldn't think about the one I really wanted here, but not too drunk that I couldn't get a lift. With the numerous experiences I had, I had mastered this art.
Alright, let's get this over with...
Few minutes later, I was zipping my pants and ready to leave.
"Wait? Where are you going?" Girl-ara asked me feebly.
"I'm going to get something to drink" I answered emotionless.
"But don't you want..."
I didn't let her finish as I was already out the door.
Another one... another one that didn't do anything for me...
And why the hell did girls like her go all "Oh I'm going to do things to you that would make a porn star blush" but then didn't actually do anything?
Same thing happened with that girl this afternoon, what was her name again...? I totally forgot to ask her name... like I cared... She looked like a Jessica, or a Natasha... maybe a Jennifer...
As I walked down the stairs and a girl literally fell in my arms.
"BLLaaKE!! Owwww, YOU knoooow you'rrrre HOT!" she screamed in my face, her breath stinking.
Ya, not happening...
"I know that's why I'm not having sex with you..." I told her and let her fall on the floor.
I spotted Clark and walked up to him.
"She's in a room on the second floor. All yours and will probably need comfort" I told him, ignoring the smirk appearing on his lips.
"Thanks man!"
"Ya, whatever..."
I headed for the bar in the kitchen and found Connor and Davis with beers in their hands.
"What's up Eaton?" Connor asked me.
I simply groaned and helped myself to some Jack Daniels.
"I saw you go upstairs with that blond girl, Kara..." he trailed off.
Kara! That was her name! Well it wasn't like I needed it anymore.
"These girls don't have anything entertaining to offer me anymore..." I trailed off, smirking, and drank half of my glass. But my eyes were still completely dead...
Connor and Davis both laughed at me.
And then I just had to ask because... because I think I liked to torture myself...
"Where's Alex?" but what I really meant was where's Lexi.
"Haven't seen him. I don't think he's coming though..." Connor trailed.
"Cause he's fucking Lexi" I asked my voice harsh, my heart squishing in a painful yet so familiar way.
Every time I looked at her or heard her voice or thought about her, dreamt about her... god dreaming about her was so painful... every time I felt my heart being drained of all its life, and being torn in million of bloody shreds...
"Not anymore my friend. They broke up. And well with the way Lexi's acting tonight I'm guessing it wasn't pretty" Connor said and pointed his beer to somewhere behind me.
When I turned around to see what it was, my jaw dropped.
Right there, in front of my eyes, Lexi was dancing, no rubbing herself, all over Fred, in a tight metallic black dress, moulding to her thin and ideal body, perfectly, like a second skin, not even down to her middle thigh and showing a too tempting cleavage. Her lips were bloody red; her lips that I couldn't tear my eyes away from because they were the only ones I wanted to kiss... looking at her, looking at her lips and perfect body, it stirred more emotion in me than any of these sleaze bag of whore I had fucked ever had...
She was holding an half empty bottle in one of her hands, which I identified as Sour Puss -I grimaced internally at that, I hate Sour Puss, it was chick drink if you asked me- and the other was gripping around Fred's neck, or at his shirt, making him move in sic with her.
Every muscles of my body clenched and my mind went completely blank, my eyes clouding into a big red haze of fury.
WHAT THE FUCK!?!!!
Lexi, my Lexi wasn't with Alex anymore!! Finally I wouldn't have to imagine the two of them... This fucking hell was finally over and maybe I could go up and talk to her and try to get it all out... Man up and tell her how I felt before it killed me. But there she fucking was, in her fucking perfection and someone's fucking hands and fucking body was already pressed against her, taking her from me!!?
"She's down to her third bottle now" Davis chuckled "You know how they say you can't get drunk with Sour Puss? Well she's been saying that ever since she arrived, but I'm pretty positive she's going to puke soon enough. You should have seen her sing Happy Birthday to Shawn. It was Marilyn Monroe all over again."
"Damn that girl's hot" Connor cursed over his beer.
I stopped listening to them and walked over her.
God!! I knew Fred. He was all vegetable-like at school and all but then when he was out, when he partied, he was as much of a man-whore as all of us. And the girls fell for his mysteriousness... well that's what he told us.
I wasn't letting that happen!! I wasn't letting her get away from me!! This time I was fucking manning up and I was fucking telling her!!
I stopped dead behind her.
"What the hell are you doing Lexi!!?" I yelled, trying to make her hear me over the music.
I was so in love with that girl and even if she didn't love me, and even if my attempt might be completely useless because she never gave a shit about me, I couldn't let her make a mistake like Fred.
Lexi turned around and then frowned at me.
Oh god... why was she so hot and perfect. Why did everything about her seem to make my palms go wet and my knees go weak. And it really had nothing to do with the booze here. It was always like that, all the time. Every time I was around her it was like I was going to die of fucking combustion. It was like there was something in her that just attracted me like she was a big magnet and I was metal and the closer I got, the closer I wanted to be... but at the same time it felt as if I was paralyzed...
How could someone actually make you feel like that? How could she make me feel so weird and why did I always want to feel that way?
"What the... HEY!! Running-Back guy!!!" she yelled, smiling a little, leaving a fuming Fred behind her.
I couldn't tell her...
Oh my god...
I was going to have a hard time just speaking... My throat was tightening and my eyes were almost tearing up. All I wanted was to squeeze her in my arms, every inch of her body touching mine...
And I could see her smile again, the first one, the first smile, the one that had doomed me, the one that had made me feel like I was worth something so many years ago...
And that was why I couldn't tell her... if I told her, if I finally fucking told her and she rejected me... I couldn't... I wouldn't... There was no way I'd survive that...
"Dude, she's Alex's ex girlfriend, I don't think you want to go there" I told Fred, my voice a little shaky but looking straight into his eyes, mine furious.
For a moment he held my gaze, but then he shrugged and walked to another girl.
"I'm Alex's nothing alright mister pompous ass!!" she yelled and took a mouthful of Sour Puss.
No I couldn't tell her... I really couldn't... I would have a hard time just looking at her without falling to my knees.
I'M SO FUCKING WEAK!!!
My eyes couldn't stare in hers, because it was too hard, so instead they fell on her bottle and I frowned. She had been drinking too much...
"You want some?" she asked, handing me the Sour Puss.
"Sure" I answered taking the bottle out of her hands.
Alright I knew earlier I had said I hated it but I was only going to drink it all up because I didn't want her to drink any more. And well... because there was just something about drinking in the same bottle as her, my lips touching were her lips had touched, that made me go all frantic... Jeez, I was sooo pathetic... I sounded like one of those freaking wuss in my mom's book...
And I thought about how easy it would be right now, to just take advantage of her since she was drunk and all vulnerable... it would have been lying to say I didn't think about it, but I would never, ever would have done that to her. If one day... god I sooo shouldn't be thinking that way cause it was all a PuppetLand dream and it was only going to hurt that much more... but if one day I had a chance at being with her, I wanted her fully aware of it, and I wanted her sober.
I just wanted her!! What was so hard to understand in those four word!!? I. Just. Wanted. Her. End of it. Period. That was all.
Lexi. Lexi. Lexi. Lexi. Lexi.
"What? What? What? What? What?" Lexi said, breaking my mental blur.
Oh shit! Was I talking out loud?
Damn... I think I was pretty drunk now...
"You shouldn't be drinking like that. Some guys here have just been waiting there whole life for an opportunity like this to take advantage of you" I mumbled and then finished her Sour Puss, making a grimace.
Damn, that shit was sour!
"Oh ya! Name me one person who would actually WANT to be with me! Who would actually want to touch me! I repulse people!! Jeez.. I... He... I'm... Arggg... Fucking Alex!!!!!" Lexi rambled and she had a furious expression, but her eyes were tearing up.
Oh my god!! How could she possibly think not every guy in this room wanted to take her now and there? Because if I just turned my eyes slightly over any male in this room they were giving her lustful looks! How could she not see that?
Because she didn't care about any of us... Because she loved that fucking Alexander!!! And I couldn't even fucking kill the bastard because she'd probably kill me herself if I did... Even though that fucking bastard had obviously hurt her!!! God if I could just beat the shit out of him right now!!! I would have felt a little better...
I wanted to tell Lexi so many things then... I wanted to tell her I wanted her... I wanted to tell her that no girl in this world turned me on as much as her, that repulse was the complete opposite of the way I was feeling... That the simple thought of touching her kept me up nights over nights... I wanted to tell her I loved her...
So instead I told her "You're drunk"
"You too" she answered me and then her ass was moving from left to right along with the music, like she wasn't even aware of the movement, like she didn't realized how much that little swaying was driving me mad with desire.
"What!?" she yapped at me, stopping my staring.
I want you so bad...
I was going to say it... I couldn't take it anymore... I had to tell her...
But before I could say any of those words 50 cent's In Da Club started to play and Lexi squealed like a little girl.
"WOOOOOO!!!!!!!" she screamed with everyone and they were all following the beat, their hands in the air, singing along.
"SHAWN GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!!!!" Lexi screamed and I seriously didn't like the look she gave him.
Of course Shawn would never deny any girl and of course he walked over to her, well more like bounced but whatever.
I couldn't do anything, it was like I was watching the scene behind a glass wall and I wasn't part of it and couldn't do anything to stop it...
Just like my nightmare... and she was going to burn in front of my eyes, and stare at me with eyes, eyes telling me I was the one at fault and I wouldn't be able to do anything...
And then Lexi was dancing with Shawn dangerously close. Like "in five minutes we're going upstairs to finish this without clothes" close.
Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god...
Both of Lexi's hands were behind Shawn's head, grabbing him by the hair, their hips against each other and even though Lexi was pretty drunk I had to give it to the girl she knew how to dance! She was doing little swaying moves with her chest, looking at Shawn, you know that little peeking from under your lashes look that just made us male go mad, like he was the only guy in the world and it made me sick to my stomach and trust me it had nothing to do with alcohol. The tight dress just made things worse as it clung against that hot ass of hers who was moving with the beat like a god damn belly dancer!!!
My fist, my jaw, all my body tensed!! If they didn't split in exactly five seconds I would lose it!!!
I would kill him... that was simple as that.
I would fucking kill him!
But I still couldn't move...
And then Shawn brought his forehead down against Lexi's and his hands slipped around her back and then down to her ass.
My mind went blank completely, utterly, blank.
Lexi turned around and then her back was against Shawn's chest, one of her hand still around his neck, the other brushed in her hair shoving it back in a forbiddingly sexy way.
That's when Shawn saw I was looking at them and in his extreme stupidity he started to make you know the move like you're doing someone back side, without Lexi noticing it, but nevertheless boy did I get his meaning.
That was it.
I wasn't in a dream. I could move. I wasn't fucking paralyze!! And I wasn't letting this turn into a real nightmare!
You're a dead man Shawn.
I walked up to him, grabbed Lexi around the waist and then I turned and placed her behind me. Then I turned around again and without even a second of hesitation I punched Shawn straight in the face with a distinct crack from his nose and a shooting pain through my fist.
That very second, the music stopped, the dancing stopped, the light stopped, the drinking stopped, the making out stopped and everybody gasped.
Ok... Now I had like five seconds to explain myself before people started to really understand why I had just done that.
SHIT!!! I needed a girl name!!! A common plausible girl name!!! Like fast!! Like right NOW!!!
"SHAWN YOU FUCKING DICK!!! You slept with Sarah!!!" I yelled.
Please please god make this one work!!
Shawn was lying on the floor, his eyes shuddering for a few seconds and it looked like he was passing out... He probably did for a few seconds... And then his hand went under his nose, trying to stop the blood flow.
"Blake COME ON!!! You knew I wanted to!!!" he said and I almost fell on my knees, thanking God.
"WHAT'S THE RULE???!!!" I yelled but I really didn't give a shit anymore. It was all for the show.
"I know, I know...You didn't need to fucking broke my nose on my BIRTHDAY!!" Shawn yelled, spitting blood on the floor and then he was in my face.
But he backed up pretty quickly because he knew I could knock him down any time.
"Come on people!!! Let's hear some music!!!!!" Clark yelled and then the DJ started to spin again and everyone went back to their business.
Shawn pushed everyone out of his way and ran upstairs, probably to the bathroom.
I hoped I crooked that son of a bitch nose!
"Why'd you punch him you moron!!!" Lexi said behind me and pushed my back, almost making me stumbled to the ground.
Because I want you, and I don't want anyone else to come near you and to touch your perfect body... Because the thought of any other guy's hands on you makes me want to hurl, because you deserve so much better than any of us...
"Shawn's a dick!"
"Well you're a dick too, but I see no one punching you in the face!!" she shouted.
That hit homerun.
"Do you have any idea what he was thinking while dancing with you!!?" I shouted back, mad.
She was a bright girl! Why didn't she know that!!?
"Well, enlighten me, Mister I-Fuck-a-lot! What could he have been thinking that hasn't crossed your so pure mind? You're an egocentrically, hopeless drunken loser who fucks with any girl stupid enough to fall for the hot guy! No one will ever love you because you're just a dick!! A heartless, no-good-to-love, stinking dick!!!"
I. Want. To. Die.
That's the four words that hit me after.
Imagine having the only girl you've ever truly love, the one that for one second, years ago, had smile at you and made you believe maybe there was a reason why you were alive and not your brother, that had given you a little hope that you weren't just a fucking ass who had killed his brother, imagine that she had finally broken up with her boyfriend, imagine that you would finally believe you could have a chance and now imagine her tell you you're a heartless looser, and tell you that no one will ever love you cause you're just a dick.
I kept telling myself that it was just the booze talking, that she didn't meant it, but I couldn't deny it... she was right, and she would never love me... and I really was hopeless...
Heartless?
I didn't think so because it just felt like she had broken mine...
So like a coward, I walked away...
"Hey, Blake where are you going?" Catherine yelled to me and the grabbed my arm "Don't feel bad about Shawn, he deserves more than that..."
"I just want to leave..." I whispered, fighting the tears that we're coming.
"You had a lot to drink..."
I ignored that.
"Just call someone, I don't know, that Vanessa blonde girl maybe, just anyone, to get Lexi out of here, she's finished" I told her and then left.
I ran to my car, not bothering to listen to the pleas of many girls to hook up and then stumbled in it.
I wanted to cry... I wanted to cry my fucking eyes out...
I wanted to drive off a fucking cliff!!
I started the car, hit the gas too quickly, making a start, and then sped away from the house.
But suddenly at the first intersection, some lunatic in boxers jumped on the road from the right and I gave a kick of steering wheel to the left.
And then everything seemed to go slow motion.
I avoided the guy, but the car behind me hit hard on my bumper making me go left, the way my tires were aligned. And then a car came from that direction. I could have stopped. I could have hit the brake and avoid him...
But I didn't...
And the other car crash into my driver side. My head hit the steering wheel, the glass shattered everywhere, and I felt it cutting my face. My left arm hurt like hell, I couldn't breathe and I was seeing white spots and then Lexi's face telling me I was a heartless dick and then everything went black...