I Want to Believe In Myself

By scullers

1.3K 77 47

Everyone's teenage years are awkward and confusing; even for Fox Mulder and Dana Scully. During the summer of... More

Peas and Partners
A Broken Magnifying Glass
Arachniphobia
Let's Get Invisible
Old Cover
The Most Valuable Thing He Had Ever Lost
"I want to believe in too much"

A-Camping We Will Go

361 18 12
By scullers

July 6th 1978
Annapolis, Maryland

"Mom," Dana said with a scrunched up nose, "You can stop kissing me, now. I'm only going to be gone for two weeks."

"I know, sweetheart. I'm just going to miss having you around." Margaret Scully said as she kissed her daughter once more on the cheek.

"Mom!"

"That one was for good luck," She said with a laugh, "Dana, I love you. Be careful, sweetheart. Come back in one piece, okay?"

"I'll be fine, mom. I love you too."

Dana hugged her mother once more, taking in her sweet distinct scent of baby powder and cigarette smoke. She had quit smoking years ago, but upon relocating the family from California to Maryland, she had taken up the habit once more.

"Your father just finished packing the car," Her mother commented, "You'd better get a move on."

They hugged once more, and Margaret Scully watched as her daughter ran to the car, her scarlet hair swaying like ocean waves.

"All set, Starbuck?" Her father asked as she buckled her seatbelt.

"Aye aye, Ahab." Dana smiled and saluted him.

The two drove to her High School, where the students were meeting to board the bus that would take them to Massachusetts. It would be nearly a six hour ride to the camp. Dana knew that she was not emotionally or mentally prepared for the endeavor.

Her father pulled into the parking lot littered with suitcases, students, and parents. It was a little too chaotic for Dana's liking.

"Dad, I don't know about this." Dana said nervously.

"Oh, Starbuck, you'll have a fun time." He rubbed her shoulder and opened his door.

"Yeah right." She rolled her eyes.

They unpacked the truck, removing Dana's purple duffle bag and the army green sleeping bag that she had borrowed from Bill. She felt under-packed as she noticed that each student had a mountain of supplies. Most kids had two large suitcases, a backpack, a camping chair, and a sleeping bag. Dana had only packed the necessities but apparently the necessities were not enough.

Her dad approached her from behind, placing two large hands on her shoulders. He leaned in and kissed her freckled cheek. "Have a good time, Starbuck. I love you."

"Love you too, Daddy." She said quietly. Her blue eyes watched her bulky father walk to his car and drive away. She was officially alone now. Alone with twenty obnoxious high school students, a cranky bus driver, and a panic attack definitely beginning within her.

Dana only knew a handful of the students that she would be going to camp with. She had attended the last month of school as he family had just moved to town in May. Dana thought it rather stupid to show up for the last month of school, especially when everyone knows that you don't do anything during those last few weeks. She spent most of her eight hour days confined in the building reading mystery novels and writing poetry. She wasn't the best writer, but she liked the challenge of rhyming words.

"Dana! What's up?" A blonde boy with rectangular glasses approached her, smiling a metal braces smile.

"Oh no," Dana said under her breath, "H-Hi, Skeeter." She said softly trying not to make eye contact with the odd boy.

"I'm so glad you could make it to camp." He flashed his shiny smile.

"I wish I could say the same." She mumbled.

"Come again?"

"Oh, nothing," She said roughly, "How has your summer been so far?" Dana looked around hoping that no one saw her socializing with Skeeter Adams. It wasn't that he was nerdy or  strange, Dana was exactly that as well. Skeeter had a huge crush on her and everyone knew.  Dana feared that if people saw that talking together that they might think there was something going on between them.

"It's been far out, Dana. Last week I built a rocket out of an oatmeal canister and it launched almost fifty feet in the air!" He grinned.

"Neato." Dana said with an awkward smile.

"Hey, wanna share a seat on the bus?" He asked as he placed a hand on Dana's shoulder.

She flinched.

"Thanks, Skeeter but I think I just want to be alone. Nothing personal, I just get claustrophobic." She lied.

"Oh, well, okay. I'll see you up at camp then." He walked away with his silver smile hidden by a stoic wall of peach lips.

Dana felt bad about it, she really did. But, being the new girl, the book worm, and the science genius was hard enough as it was. She definitely didn't need another reason for people to think her odd.

The students loaded the bus, giggling and yelling obscenities like always. Dana found an empty seat on row 7 and quietly sat down, pulling out Nancy Drew novel, The Secret of the Forgotten City, and quietly read to herself. She only prayed that her fellow "campers" would quiet down and pull out a book too.

~~~
Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts

"Where's the keys?" Fox Mulder growled as he scoured his father's apartment for the keys to the jeep. His father was away on business again and wouldn't be back for a month. Knowing that he would be absent for such a long time, William Mulder hid the keys to his car. Fox was tired of walking everywhere and there was no way in hell that he was going to wheel his suitcase and camping supplies down the freeway. He had to find those keys.

He began in his father's room opening drawers, the closet, and lifting lids off of silver cigar cans. No luck. He searched the living room and the coat closet and the kitchen. Time was running out.

"Where is the one place that I would never look?" He bit his finger nail and closed his eyes as he thought about it. A spark fired in his mind. "I got it." He smiled. His Chuck Taylors squeaked on the hardwood floor as he ran to the laundry room. The young boy opened the washing machine and saw a silver clump of keys glistening at the bottom of the basin. "You're smart, dad. But not smart enough." He chuckled as he shoved the keys in the pockets of his dusty jeans. Mulder grabbed his camping supplies and loaded them in the back of his father's army green jeep.

He was a reckless driver. He sped down streets and blared music much louder than he should. He was careless and lived life by the skin of his teeth. Now, just because he was a wild kid doesn't mean that he was stupid or lazy. Quite the opposite, actually. Fox Mulder was always the top in his class at school, a straight A student and player on the basketball and baseball team. You'd think that Fox was at the top of the social pyramid and loved by everyone for his achievements, right? Wrong. No one at school, not even his teachers, valued having "Spooky Mulder" in their class. His strange approaches to science and theories of paranormal and extraterrestrial life made him the odd one out in every class he attended. His strange reputation began in sixth grade when his younger sister, Samantha, went missing and he insisted that she was abducted by aliens. Perhaps his loneliness was what propelled himself to live dangerously. He needed a thrill.

The bus was already loaded when Mulder pulled into the high school parking lot.

"Crap." He stammered. Mulder rushed to the back of the car and unloaded everything as quickly as he could, attempting to carry it all over in one trip. "Mrs. Jenson! Mrs. Jenson, I'm here!" He yelled as he ran lugging a suitcase behind him and holding a large sleeping bag in one arm.

"Fox Mulder. Why am I not surprised?" She rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't find my keys-" He panted.

"Save it, Mulder. Throw your stuff on the bus and grab a seat-- if there is one." She checked his name off of the clipboard and walked away disgusted with the boy with messy brown hair. Her scathing eyes didn't bother him. He was used to it by now.

He did as he was told and grabbed the only empty seat on the bus. He sat down and pulled his new portable cassette player. It was called a Walkman, a new device not even scheduled to be available on the market for another year. It was one of the many "gifts" that Mulder's father gave him to keep him content and make him feel loved. It didn't matter what his father gave him, Mulder knew that he was nothing more than a shadow, an unwanted burden in his father's eyes. He turned up the volume and leaned against the seat. The two  hours to camp were going to be rough.

~~~

The buses rolled into Camp Touchstone at noon. There were hundreds of kids from all over the east coast wandering the woods, looking for their cabins and campsites. Dana Scully was one of them. She read over her itinerary thoroughly and read her map. It was no use. She was lost in a sea of pine trees and teenagers. Her dufflebag began to create divets in her shoulders as the heavy sack hung from her arms. Hot, tired, and hungry, Dana desperately needed help. As a bead of sweat dripped down her nose her eyes focused on an older boy walking up the trailhead and she decided to ask him for help.

"Uhm... Hi. Excuse me?" She said meekly. The dark eyed boy looked at her and stopped.

"Uh-- Hey. Can I help you?" He asked as he pushed his hair back.

"Yeah. I'm looking for my cabin and I can't find it anywhere." She said as she unfolded her map and pointed to where it should be.

"Campsite 23, huh?" He read aloud. "I'm at 24, so I'll walk you there."

"Thank you so much," Dana said graciously, "I'm Dana. What's your name?" She readjusted the heavy bag on her shoulder.

"Mulder." He said as he watched her struggle to make it up the hill, "Do you need some help carrying that?"

His question caught her off guard. Never once had Bill Jr. or Charlie asked to carry her bag. "Uhm- Sure. Thank you." She blushed and handed the purple bag to him. She watched as his muscular arms flung the bag over his back and he pushed back his hair once more.

"Mulder?" She said with red cheeks, "No offense, but isn't that a little odd for a first name?" She was not good at flirting and soon realized.

"Well, considering that my first name is Fox, no." He laughed.

"I see," She said softly with a grin, "What grade are you in?"

"I'll be a senior this coming year. You?"

"I'll be a -- junior." She lied.

"A junior? You look a little small, no offense." He smiled.

"None taken," she blushed, "I'm just a little short for my age. That's all."

They continued up the trailhead. Mulder walked at Dana's slow and small pace to be friendly.

"So, why are you at this camp?" He asked.

"I'm here for the science department. What about you?"

"Same here. Normally, I've been asked to come up for the mathematics program but my science teacher told me that I need some "scientific sense" talked into me."

"Really? Why?"

"Well," He paused, "I just see science in a broader way than most."

"Well, that's okay. I guess everyone sees things a little differently. I mean, science is an ever growing and changing subject. Scientists find new things every day."

"You're the first person to ever tell me that."

"Well," she blushed, "Today is a great day of firsts." She smiled as they reached a fork in the trail;  left led to her site and right to his. "Thank you for helping me find the site and carrying my bag."

"Hey, no problem. You'll have a great time here." He handed her the duffel bag with a grin.

"I hope so. I'll see you around, Mulder." She offered him a friendly face, waved and made her down the left trail.

"See ya." He waved with a soft smile.

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