Summary: Phil waking Dan up at fuck all in the morning. Dan does not appreciate it. Phil doesn't respond well. Sneaky Dan. FLUFF. Based on the bird/spatula situation from Phil's video.
Much drabble. Such fiction. Very cheese. Wow.
Warnings: Cussing. FLUFFFF. Fluffffffff. SO MUCH FLUFF OMG. Prepare the CANON'S!!
WC: 711
"Dan." Came a quiet whisper from the black haired man laying across from the sleeping boy.
"Dan?" Phil shook Dan's shoulder trying to wake him up.
Dan groaned and rolled over, taking half the duvet with him in the process.
Phil rolled his eyes.
"Dan!" He whispered a little louder, grabbing Dan's shoulder and shaking it rather roughly.
Dan cracked one eye open, blinking it slowly.
"What the fuck do you want?" Dan groaned, smashing his face back on to the green and blue pillow case.
Phil ignored the attitude of his groggy boyfriend and shook his shoulder again. "There's something in the kitchen!"
Dan dragged his face away from the pillow. "And?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.
Phil's eyes were wide. "Go see what it is!"
Dan huffed. "You go see."
Phil whined loudly. "But I'm scared."
"Well I'm tired." Dan mumbled, closing his eyes again.
Phil heard another crash come from the kitche. He shook Dan urgently. "Did you hear that!?"
Dan shoved away Phil's hands. "Its just the wind..."
Phil just stared at his boyfriend, Dan was so over come by sleep and laziness he was willing to die at the hands of a demon.
Phil gulped and slid out of bed, grabbing the umbrella sitting on his dresser. Phil pushed his door open, seeing the faint light from the stove clock down the narrow hallway.
Phil eased closer to the glass door, umbrella raised like he was going to hit a baseball. He tiptoed on the carpet, holding his breath. He peaked around the corner, looking through the glass door.
To his utter relief he didn't see a demon or an intruder. He opened the door carefully, still tiptoeing, not quite believing he was out of immediate danger. He still had his umbrella poised and ready to strike as he walked toward the fridge.
He heard the crash again, but this time it came from the fire escape outside the window. Phil's muscles tensed. Was someone trying to break in via the fire escape? Was he about to die a brutal death? He supposed there was only one way to find out.
He went to the window and opened it, seeing no hulking figure, much to his relief. That's when he saw it. He almost cried at his own stupidity.
Laying on the fire escape was a bird. A small, slightly fluttering bird.
That was great, one mystery solved, but the next question was. . . how did he get it off?
Phil looked around, trying to find something to shoot it off with. The umbrella in his hand was too large and would probably give the poor bird a heart attack.
Phil walked to the drawer near the microwave and pulled it open, grabbing a plain black spatula. He had no idea how the bird would react to this, he just prayed it didn't fly into the house.
Phil walked back to the window, leaned half way out and gave the bird a gentle. . . poke.
The bird flailed around for like five seconds before taking off into the early morning light. Phil breathed out a sigh of relief. He looked at the spatula before pitching it in the trash and retreating to his bedroom.
He saw Dan's sleeping figure cuddled into their bed, hogging all the blankets. Phil rolled his eyes while sliding in next to him.
He have Dan a kiss on the cheek. "You're worthless, ya know?"
Dan breathed out deeply in response. Phil rolled his eyes again, tugging hard at a corner of the blanket. He finally grabbed enough to warm himself before gazing at his boyfriend.
"Night, Dan." Phil said, yawning tirledly.
A smirk crawled over Dan's face, in a perfectly awake voice Dan replied. "Night, Phil."
Phil sat up, realizing he had been played like a fiddle. "I hate you."
Dan only smirked in return.
Swiggity span OMG phan.
Heyo
Skunk Nuggets.
Yo
I have nothing to say....BYE!!