Cyan
"You're awake! Are you alright?"
My eyes traveled from the ceiling to the person at my side and saw the fourth ranker, Muriel, looking at me with concern and worry in her eyes that were still a cerulean blue, their true colors hidden behind contact lens.
Remembering everything, I immediately tried to sit up when I felt pain course through me, originating from my chest and I grunted in pain as the fourth ranker hurriedly aided me and helped me lean my back against the headboard of the bed I was in.
That's right, Rex... He was taken by the demon in my stead... I have to help him, I had to save him now------
"Geeez. You have to be careful you know? You're wound is healed but the pain still hasn't receded so you have to wait for at least an hour for it to completely fade." Looking at the door, I saw the red headed third ranker entering the room with a glass of water in her hand and I gulped, my throat feeling parched as Alfreed came and gave me the glass of water.
I quietly took it and drank all of it's content to quench my thirst as Alfreed proceeded to lean against a cream colored wall, her arms crossed over her chest as she watched me. Meanwhile, Muriel was placing soft pillows behind my back to make me more comfortable and I gave her a weak smile as she took away the emptied glass and set it on a table behind her.
I opened my mouth, about to speak and ask questions when Alfreed sharply cut me off before I had the chance to speak even a single word.
"We'll only leave after an hour. Leirum's orders. Don't worry, he already went out to search with the others and they were picking up about something. He'll contact us later on if they finally reach it and we'll go by then. He's orders are absolute so I suggest you obey before I burn you if you try something like I was ordered to." She stated in an edged tone and I didn't need to be told more.
However, I couldn't help but clench my teeth as I buried my face in my palms. I couldn't help it. What the hell was wrong with the world?! Why does life to be this unfair to me?
All this time... All this time that I cried, with Rex witnessing my pain and consoling me as I cursed the one which was the reason of my downfall... He always cried with me and shared my pain and I always wondered why....
And after all this time, the person I cried to was also the reason why I was crying and in pain? But it couldn't be possible... The reason for my downfall was a human from Earth... How can it be Rex when he's here in Azeroth?
And if it was him... Those tears... were those because I had told him so many times and every single time how much I regretted saving that life and how much I cursed it? But... I didn't know it was him... I inflicted unbearable pain to him without knowing it?!
My whole body trembled as I clenched my jaw in anger, cursing myself silently with a whirlpool of unanswered questions in my mind as tears fell....
"Tell us Cyan... What was the demon talking about----"
My hoarse laugh cut off Muriel's question as I buried my head on my palms further and I stared emptily at the white sheet, my mind swirling with questions and unwanted memories that I have never dreamed to tell anybody else until now...
I felt like bursting because of all the emotions trapped inside of me, wanting to be released once again. A pain I thought was gone, intensifying and I slowly started removing my shirt... It was time I explain I suppose.
"Cyan?" Muriel asked with a worried tone and I nearly smiled. They learned I was a fallen angel... bad thing was they didn't learn it from me... and yet, they didn't even use it against me. They're treating me nothing different that how they usually do...
I always saw the kindness in them. They were understanding and were all warm... I knew they wouldn't treat me any differently if they learned what I am but I was scared. Mikael and Ryouta both had a dark past akin mine but not even once did anyone use it against them. if anything, they were more respected...
I knew I should've told them before they found it from another but I couldn't bring myself to do so... However, I was more surprised than what secret lies beyond my secret. Not mine but Rex's... I should've known but I had always been turning a blind eye... I always asked myself why a mortal was crying for me... I always asked myself why it hurt seeing him cry but I was too scared to learn the answers.
I was afraid when I shouldn't have been...
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Muriel
Alfreed and I watched Cyan silently as he removed his shirt. Leirum was indeed a fine healer for no scar was left of what the demon's blade wounded but I can still imagine it in my head. But what did he want to show us? Because I was definitely sure it wasn't that.
He slowly stood up from his bed, hearing my reminder not to move too much because the pain was still there that was yet to vanish but was slowly fading.
He slowly turned around and I gasped out loud while Alfreed involuntarily pushed herself away from the wall and strode closer while I let my eyes be drawn towards the deep black gruesome looking scar on his back and my throat felt like it had dried as I heard Alfreed mumbling under herself.
"Bloody hell."
I stared at two long marks down his back that looked raw and dark, starting a point halfway down his broad back and spreading out into a V shape that stopped just below his shoulders. It was where Cyan's wings used to be, no doubt about it but I couldn't imagine him having great magnificent wings when all I saw was this miserable memory of such things.
The deeply engraved V shape in his back seemed to look so fresh even though it probably wasn't. They looked inflamed and sore, within the grove was black and Alfreed and I both had the impression that his wings must have been literally torn out his back, leaving this painful deep black scar in it's place.
"Our wings were a part of our body, and having it forcibly torn from us because of a mistake was the most painful thing about falling because our wings were our freedom." Cyan started slowly and I bit my lip sadly.
"I was an angel of praise and an angel of harvest and nurture... and I spent my time in the gardens up above where we work..." He said softly, barely audible for us to here but we remained quiet and we carefully listened with his every word.
An angel of praise... does that mean he sings? An angel of harvest and nurture... he takes care of the gardens of heaven where he might have had the power to make things grow and bear fruit. He soon started talking about his story and we stayed still.
"I was bored one time and flew here to Earth, watching things and seeing them for the first time since I never actually visited to the human world." He sighed deeply, sitting down on his bed back again and he kept his back at us while I gave Alfreed a look.
"But that first visit had been my last as an angel. At a sea side, I saw a small little human. A little baby as it was called and he was abandoned in a box, nothing but linen gold cloth to keep him warm and I took it upon myself to watch over him til a human comes by and pick him up. It was clearly abandoned and I couldn't just leave him." he sadly spoke.
"I waited for hours til day time arrived and two people arrived but I should have known better. They took in the child after seeing the gold cloth that appealed to them and they had planned to find the parents and place a ransom but their wickedness hadn't stopped there."
"They started abusing the child while they waited for the parents to appear but no news was heard and they learned then that he was really abandoned and that is how I knew they would kill him when they were done playing their twisted games and that was where I got angry and got involved." Cyan continued, his voice shaking and Alfreed quickly placed a hand on his shoulders.
"Don't force yourself Cyan. You don't need to tell us now." The third ranker said in a gentle tone but Cyan shook his head as he bowed his head down, making Alfreed sigh.
"I appeared before them and killed them with my very own hands, I took joy in hearing their screams. I was too mad at how they could treat anyone with the way they did especially on a child.."
"I healed his abused body before I left him at the doorsteps of people whom I knew would take care of him before I returned to heaven... knowing what was in store for me..." he trailed off and buried his face in his palms again while Alfreed and I couldn't find the right words to say... We simply didn't know what to say.
He did a good thing by saving the baby but he shouldn't have killed those people no matter what they did. Angels weren't supposed to take lives. However, deep within me, I was secretly glad that he had killed those cruel twisted people who deserved to die but I knew I shouldn't since it was the cause of his downfall.
Slowly, Alfreed and I stepped closer to him, wanting to give him comfort but he hasn't let all of it out yet.
"I didn't want to be casted down for it... I-I regretted doing it and since then, I had wished that I had never saved the boy. He was an innocent child and even if he died, he would go straight to heaven. That's what I always thought." he confessed to us, as if he was disgusted with himself, his body shaking and Alfreed immediately took it to herself to sit down behind him and pat his back gently while I stood there, my eyes widened as things finally dawned on me.
Unshed tears pooled on my eyes, blurring my eyes as I slowly understood his sorrow... Him regretting that... I can understand why he did... The pain wasn't just about the scar but he always felt it yet never showed... Every day, every hour, every minute and every second... he was never free from the pain that reached the very depth of his soul and even we his friends... never knew...
Cyan, the cold and always silent fifth ranker who always appeared like he didn't have any problem had went through such unimaginable pain that we had never noticed. This very moment, I realized then just how strong he was to have endured all of that on his own without showing any weaknesses until now.
But still... I wished that he told us... I wished he let us come closer to him and maybe then, we could offer him comfort and if not... at least we could have shared with his pain for him not to burden it alone...
"That's where my hate towards the humans came from. The fact that humans didn't love God as much you Azerothians love Him, the fact that they didn't honor their creator as much as you do here in this world... The fact that those sinful humans had chance and chance after every sin they committed while we Angels, God's own trusted servants who loved him the most only had one chance was enough to fuel my anger... Even if what we did was right, we were condemned for one single mistake forever... I regretted the day I saved that one child's life..." he breathed out in pain as I slowly walked in front of him and I was just in time to see a drop of tear fall stream down his face while he kept his head down...
I couldn't stop myself then, and either did Alfreed as we both hugged him, joining him in grief as a horrified look settled itself on my face, biting the inside of my cheeks, his next statements literally broke my heart.
"I don't know how but since I stepped into this world, Leirum and Rex knew what I was and even the reason why I was casted out from heaven. Every time my scar ached, it reminded me of the day that my wings that we angels cherish most were literally torn from my back. And my life as one of God's divine servants ended in a blink of an eye..." Tears continued to fall from his eyes. The precious tears of a fallen angel and I dreaded what we had yet to hear.
"Every time my scar burned my back and my very soul, it reminded me of the pain and regret that I had always carried...."
"I hated it when the imperial prince said that me being casted out from heaven and the night I had met the human baby was all destined. Anger rose in me but I was never happier when Shingu made me realize that I still can fly through the sky even if it meant him kicking me out of a carriage door straight to a cliff." He and I chuckled lightly at the last part while Alfreed looked so horrified.
"But then... I always wondered why the heartless and cold second-ranker would always join me in my pain... I always wondered why he had to cry with me... Every time I cried, he was there to give me a warm embrace and calm me down. I was curious and I wanted to know why he knew so much about me and I why he had cared for me so deeply but I was always scared to even dare ask." he laughed at that and it pained us more, we who heard him...
Reality was harsh but I never knew it could be this... cruel... This wasn't fair. God had such divine servants who had loved him the most yet why couldn't he forgive just one mistake from them when we... no... the humans who he loved and cherished most as his children were the ones who often defiled and sinned, always believing that He would give them a chance no matter how much they sinned. He loved give them a chance again and again but why not to his most loyal servants?
"When I had the ability to fly again, I felt happy but it was short lived when suddenly, a demon comes in, announcing that Rex had been the reason why I had fell all along." Cyan laughed this time in a cracked voice and my tears finally fell as I hugged him tighter, suppressing the urge to shout at him that he shouldn't laugh if he was in pain but I just couldn't bring myself to do so to this broken man.
"My answers were all answered but I wanted to hear it coming from him personally... I wanted to know the truth come from his lips and yet... he put himself at death's door for me before I could even confront him." Alfreed squeezed his hands in hers reassuringly and we shared a pained look.
"I was always curious as to why he did such things... But I loved the warmth he always offered to me every time I was in pain. Every time I cried, I was always saved by him from insanity when he comes in to share my pain with me. I would cry out to him how much I regretted saving a human that resulted to my despair and he would always cry, begging me to not say anymore but I never did and then suddenly, I would learn that he was that very same person?! The one I had always blamed when I cried, was the same one who always heard them yet comforted me?!"
Anger and pain was visible on his face and they reeked from his venoumous laced tone and we knew he would have lashed out if it weren't for us who held him tighter as we silently cried in leashed pain and torment... No more....
Silence passed by, with only his sobs and ours reverberating inside the room, sorrow mixed with pain enveloping us in silent agony. I cried for him and Rex... I never knew that it was this little that I knew of them even though I had become their friend...
I thought I knew at least a little when I saw Mikael and Ryouta's pain in the past but I was mistaken... Oh Rex.......
"I had learned to care for him.... I cherished him and that's exactly why I couldn't bring myself to hate him even if he hid such truth from me but I couldn't blame him from doing so... Every comfort he gave and the tears he shed for me, he only got hurt in return because of my selfishness." he softly said with so much guilt and remorse that my eyes widened... That tone... it couldn't be.
No one spoke after that and the silence stretched on for who knows how long as we let Cyan silently cry out the pain he had hidden for so long when suddenly, I caught sight of a silhouette leaning against the door and my eyes widened when I saw no other than the first ranker who looked so cold and serious.
"Let's go. It's already time to take him back and prepare yourselves for a bloody fight because we will officially wage war against the demon race."
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Ugh, I took so long in updating this chapter. I'm sorry because I truthfully ran out of ideas that time.
Anyway, sorry in advance because I won't be able to update for a few days since I'll be visiting my dad in the province... But well, I'll give an update as soon as I can when we get back.
Love lots!
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-thebadgirl05 at your service! ^_~