Player Meets Weirdo

By Genguin

16.3K 304 200

It's the typical player book, until it's not. Alice Fosters is a class A weirdo. In England being weird does... More

Prologue
Chapter 1- The Heart Wrenching News Of Heart Wrenchingness
Chapter 2- The Brilliantly Unbrilliant Suitcase Idea
Chapter 3- Emily's Long Distance Relationships 13 Day Training Course
Chapter 4- The Fishy Revenge Plan
Chapter 5- The Cursed Plane Journey
Chapter 6- Home Sweet Home...NOT!
Chapter 7-Welcomed By Weirdos
Chapter 8- Spell ICUP... You Pervert -.-
Chapter 9- Anglais Por Favor
Chapter 10- Why Hello There. I'm A Perfectly Perfect... Pedo
Chapter 11- Parker Needs Some Clothes
Chapter 12- I Like Dark Alleys And Shady Corners ^_^
Chapter 13- Why Did I Come To This Party?
Chapter 14- Your Eyes Shall Be Mine!
Chapter 15- Teaparty!
Chapter 16- Sexy Juicy Lips
Chapter 17- You Shoot Me Down But I Won't Fall...
Chapter 18- I Have The Best Jokes!
Chapter 19- If This Is A Dream I WANT To Wake Up
Chapter 20- Hallo-Wiener Is What They Used To Call Me Before I Killed Them
Chapter 21- Trying To Pull A Bullet Out Is Harder Then They Make It Seem on T.V
Chapter 22- I Have Been Reborn Into A Shitter Body
Chapter 23- You Are Cordially Invited To Eat Lunch With Us...
Chapter 24- How Am I Gonna Have Grandchildren Then?
Chapter 25- I'm Not A Polar Bear Spy
Chapter 26- Vampires, Questions And Blackouts
Chapter 27- Parker The Doctor! Tun Tur Rah Rah!
Chapter 28- Being Tortured The Second Time Isn't As Bad As The First Time
Chapter 29- Just Another- Oh My Gosh! It's Parker!
Chapter 30- I Have To Carry Around This Brick.
Chapter 31- Take Some Extra... Just A Precaution.
Chapter 32- Tingly Sensations In Your Pants
Chapter 33- Parker's In Love With You
Chapter 34- Being Officially Crazy
Chapter 35- Cousin Meet And Greets And BINGO!
Chapter 37- Ignored By Parker
Chapter 38- Santa's Lap Dance Experience
Chapter 39- I Definately Know What I'm Doing
Chapter 40- The Sickness Has Been Passed!
Chapter 41- Getting My Revenge
Chapter 42- Getting Kidnapped... Again
Chapter 43- Emily's Lockpicking Skills
Chapter 44- The Dark Abyss Of Depression
Chapter 45- Distance
Chapter 46- Training And Stuff
Chapter 47- Dora The Explorer
Chapter 48- The Bomb Squad
Chapter 49- Just Another Ordinary Day In The Life Of Alice... Saunders
Not really a chapter

Chapter 36- Parker And His Little Girl Pants

204 4 0
By Genguin

*Alice's POV*

"What are you wearing Evans?" Zak asked when she saw him waddling into the kitchen. Currently Axel, Zak and I were sitting around the kitchen counter and Parker just walked in.

"Just some shorts." He answered awkwardly trying to sit down on the stool.

"Your shorts are really tight." I told him raising an eyebrow at him. He normally wears tight pants, just not this tight.

"I know. You like it?" He asked gesturing to his pants.

"Wait is that... A butterfly?" I asked him trying to hold in my laughter.

"No... Yes... Riley told me they were plain!" He whined.

"Your wearing your little sister's shorts?" I asked.

"Yeah. She's all grown up. Doesn't need to wear shorts anymore." He said wiping a few unexistent tears off of his face.

"Oh. My. God!" I couldn't hold it in anymore. I burst into laughter pulling him off the stool.

"What are you doing?" Parker asked sounding confused.

"I'm getting you out of those pant." I told him turning back around.

"OOOH! It's getting hot in here!" Zak shouted after us.

"Shut up Zak! Go make out with Axel!" I shouted back.

"I will but I won't like it!" She shouted back.

"Hey!" Axel cried out pretending to be hurt but everyone could hear the happiness in his voice at the fact Zak was going to kiss him.

"Sure you won't like it!" I shouted back shoving Parker into my room. "Wait there." I told him walking into Caleb's room.

"Why are you in here?" Caleb whined.

"I need some pants." I told him searchig through his closet.

"Your wearing pants though." He told me sounding confused.

"Not for me, for Parker." I told him picking up a pair of black jeans.

"Parker's not wearing pants!" He shouted. "Did you two... I'm going to kill him!" Caleb ran out of the room.

"Shit." I muttered running after Caleb.

"Hahahaah!" I heard Caleb laughing. "Your wearing your sister's shorts because of Axel!" He burst out laughing again. I rolled my eyes as I entered the room chucking the pants at Parker's face.

"Ow!" He yelled while I dragged Caleb out of the room.

"I know you love Parker and everything but please let him change without you watching him. Okay." I said running downstairs.

"Hey Alice that was fast." Zak said winking.

"I'm going to slap you." I rolled my eyes at her.

"Okay." She shrugged.

"I have a joke to tell!" Axel suddenly said, scaring the shit out of me he's so quiet I don't even remember he's here half the time.

"Oh no... Please don't. Your jokes suck!" She said covering her face in embarrassment.

"What did the cheese say to the moon?" He asked.

"I don't know." I answered.

"I'm your cousin." Axel told me in a squeaky voice. I burst out laughing.

"Holy shit! That was hilarious!" I laughed amazing the table. Axel laughed for about ten seconds with me before stopping. "Haha keep laughing!" I told him while laughing.

"Ha... Ha-ha." He laughed looking kind of scared.

"Hahah!" I laughed for another ten minutes.

"Why are you laughing?" Parker asked when he walked in., wearing normal pants.

"We've been asking the same question in our minds for ten minutes." Zak told him.

"Oh gosh that was... Hilarious!" I wiped a few happy tears away from my face.

"Why were you laughing?" Axel asked.

"Oh because I felt kind of bad that your girlfriend didn't even fake laugh at your joke so I decided I'll just let you enjoy a few minutes of funniness." I told him smiling.

"You were laughing at his joke." Parker pointed at Axel.

"Pointing is rude!" I said pushing his hand down.

"Your so- I'm- just- I'm leaving!" Parker finally said.

"What? Why?"I asked really confused.

"Just leave it Alice." Parker said walking out of the room. I got up to follow him.

"You shoul probably wait a while. He's going to let himself be jealous for a while." Zak said.

"Jealous? Of what?" I asked.

"Axel! I mean come on it's pretty hard to resist that!" She pointed at his face.

"Um... No it's not." I said furrowing my eyebrows.

"Show her." Zak commanded. Axel pouted like a little baby and looked straight at me.

"Okay... So he's cute and what?" I asked.

"Seriously you just stood there?" She asked.

"Um yeah..." I drawled out.

"Okay there has to be something wrong with you. How can you not see the sexiness that is Axel?" She asked sounding dumbfounded.

"Zak just leave it." Axel said in a calm voice.

"Do you find my boyfriend ugly?" She asked.

"No I did-" I started.

"So do you like my boyfriend?" She asked souning angry.

"No!" I exclaimed.

"I'm only joking stop looking like you're going to shit yourself.

"It didn't seem like you were joking." I mumbled.

"Are you calling me a liar?" She asked raising an eyebrow.

"I'm going to punch you in the balls so hard." I growled. She burst out laughing.

"You love to annoy people don't you?" Axel asked Zak. "Sorry for that." He apologised.

"At least we know she's not normal!" She exclaimed.

"Zak..." Axel warned sending me look.

"Dude calm your shit. I'm not going to tell her." She said rolling her eyes. She hugged me tightly before whispering. "Call us okay. We might need your help in a little while." She broke the hug walking out of the kitchen.

"Why do you hug her but not me?!" Axel asked sounding jealous.

"Come on we've got to go!" Zak called out.

"Bye." Axel smiled at me before pulling me into a hug.

"Bye." I said happily.

"Bye everyone!" Zak shouted so everyone in the house could hear.

"Already leaving?" Mum asked looking at me with a weird look in her eye.

"Yeah. We've got to find our stupid friends before they find us. Playing hide and seek you see." She said walking out the door.

"Shit!" Zak shouted. "We lost!" Axel walked up to the door.

"Hey Jaxon." He smirked at a really good looking dude.

"Oh shut it. You guys cheated hiding in your cousins house!" He pouted.

"You didn't say that was a rule." Zak sang.

"Wait how did you know they were hiding at my house if you haven't seen them for the past day?" I asked cocking my head at them.

"You're cousins hot!" The Jaxon guy whistled. Zak slapped him over the head.

"Don't even think about it." She hissed. Another two guys came from behind him breathing heavily.

"Damn you Jaxon! You could've slowed down." They gasped between breaths.

"Damn it. Now we totally lost I could've killed Jaxon so they would never know he found us. It's harder to get rid of three bodies." Zak smiled at them.

"Make that four!" A girl in bright clothes sang from behind them.

"Make that four." Zak giggled. "This is Lucy-" She started introducing her friends.

"Lucifer!" She corrected stepping forward.

"Yeah yeah." Zak waves off. "Jake, Jarrod and Jaxon." She continued naming the three guys.

"That's your soul-thingy cousin?!" Jake and Jarrod asked looking at me with wide eyes.

"I know right! She's so hot!" Jaxon nodded along with the guys.

"You touch my sister and I'll break your bones!" Caleb threatened.

"Caleb! That's not how you treat guests!" Mum scolded.

"Yeah that's not how you treat guests." Jaxon mimicked. Zak smacked him across the head again.

"Shut up!" Zak exclaimed.

"Okay, mum!" Jaxon emphasised the mum part.

"Oh my god!" Zak shouted pouncing on him. "You're so annoying!" She started punching him.

"Zak stop!" Axel shouted trying to claw her off of him.

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" Jake and Jarrod chanted.

"This is actually kind of toned down it's normally worse!" Lucy whispered from beside me. I jumped a foot in the air.

"How did you?" I asked looking at her in shock.

"I'm really fast." She smiled. "Also I am Lucifer so that's just part of the whole package." She winked at me.

"Um okay." I said wearily.

"Are you trying to flirt with me?!" She shouted. "I'm married!" She backed away. Zak burst out laughing.

"I remember you said that to me on your first day in school!" She called out still punching Jaxon in the stomach.

A/N:

I thought I should finish on a positive note and what's more positive then someone getting punched in the stomach.

I have a weird addiction to penguins, giraffes and wolves. Wolves are cool, but they shout three in Colchester zoo. :'( that zoo sucks there have been three different animals dying infront of everyone. Anyways yesterday we were eating dinner and we heard a thud upstairs so we all shat ourselves since everyone was downstairs. So my dad started walking around downstairs for like five minutes we could've been robbed and then my mum shouted and my sister was like oh tell the murderer where we are then. Then I asked why dad was walking around downstairs and my sister was like they're just weird. And is said they're probably trying to scare the robber like"oh no Someone's in the house!" then she said they should flip the lights on and off like 'this house is haunted you need to leave!' what nice family meals.

Byere

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