Olivia
Walking off the plane at Heathrow I can't help but feel an overwhelming rush of déjà vu. Everything has changed from when I came over here in December but still, all the feelings are the same. I'm nervous but excited. Scared but ready for my fresh start. I feel like I'm starting a new chapter in my life again. It just so happens that this new chapter is starting in the same place as the last one did. Gemma is picking me up from the airport today. Everyone else is in Las Vegas for Niall's birthday. I'm glad for that at least. This way at least I'll get to settle in a little bit before everyone gets back. I know they're all concerned about me and I appreciate it but at the same time I don't want to dwell on what happened. I know everyone is going to be asking how I'm doing and I just don't want to talk about it anymore.
I feel bad about missing Niall's birthday and I would've loved to celebrate with him but it was good for me to get away. I needed time to sort through everything on my own. My family seemed a little surprised that Liam and I broke up. Well, besides my mom and Meredith. I guess they sort of knew what they were talking about when they told me to slow down. But everyone else was shocked and I think a little disappointed. They all loved Liam. Of course, I didn't tell them the whole story. I just said that we grew apart. I couldn't have my family look at me the way Liam and Lou and Louis and everyone else that didn't know did when they found out. I'm a heartless bitch, selfish, a slut, a disappointment. I know what I did was wrong. I do take responsibility for my actions. I feel terrible for cheating on Liam. But I will not apologize for ending things with him. It was the right thing to do. I just hate the way things blew up that night. I want to talk to him and make sure he's alright. Actually I know he's not alright but still, I feel the overwhelming need to check on him. We were friends once. There was always a spark underneath that friendship but we were friends nonetheless. This is the longest I've gone without talking to him since we started dating. I miss him as silly as it sounds. But I know he won't answer any calls or texts so I don't even try. I want to try to talk to him when he gets back to London. I want to try to make him understand what went wrong now that the dust has settled a bit. In the back of my mind I think I know it's not going to be easy. But I do still care about him even though we aren't together anymore. With our intertwined group of friends, I know we aren't going to be able to avoid each other forever. Even though I'm sure he wants that, I don't. I still hope that we'll be able to at least be civil to each other eventually. It may be a naïve notion but I can't give up without at least trying.
The realization that Liam and I are actually done hit me harder than I thought it would. In my mind, I knew the relationship was over even before I ended it. I knew it wasn't healthy to keep holding onto something that wasn't making me happy. But three days after I got home I stumbled upon my box of mementos from our dates and all the little love notes he'd written me over the course of our relationship. I ended up curled up in bed crying for a good portion of the day. Up until then I was only remembering the end of our relationship. The fights and the lies. My sneaking around, feeling trapped. But those things reminded me of the good days. Watching movies at the big house before we even started dating, the carnival we went to on our first date, the Georgia trip, my time in the hospital, the Ed Sheeran concert. Those I miss. Liam is a great guy and he loved me with everything he had. More than I deserved a lot of the time. I think a part of me will always love him. But in the end it wasn't enough. We weren't right for each other. It wasn't fair to either of us to pretend that we were. That day was hard but it was necessary. It made me stop pressing down my emotions and really feel what I was trying to ignore. It helped me mourn the relationship. I know I'm not 100% over it yet. It'll take some time. But I'm done crying at least. I'm ready to move on with my life. This is my fresh start.
When Gemma spots me she rushes over and crushes me in a huge bear hug. It's been so long since I really talked to her and even longer since I've actually seen her. We were fairly close when I first got to London but after everything that's happened we've kind of drifted apart. So I'm excited to be roommates and I think she is too. When I asked if I could move in with her I could tell she was relieved. Eleanor was supposed to live in the house too but apparently she backed out at the last second. Gemma said they were starting to become close once the plans for the house were made then all of a sudden she told Gemma she found another place to live and stopped returning her calls and texts. She thinks it's because of Louis. She doesn't want to be around anyone or anything that reminds her of him and she definitely doesn't want to run into him. I hate that she's distancing herself but I know there's nothing I can do to change it. Louis hurt her by moving on so fast and this is how she's dealing with it. I can't say that I really blame her. So after that and Lexie deciding to move in with Niall, she was left with a four-bedroom house and no roommates. I filled one of those slots but of course, we still wanted at least one more roommate so at the last second we convinced Lottie to move in with us too. It makes sense. She's done with school and it'll be better for her to be in London than Doncaster now that she's trying to establish herself as a makeup artist. It'll be an interesting mix. We're all different ages. Gemma is 25, I'm 23 and Lottie is 17. We all have different careers and interests. We all get along but none of us are super close. Besides, the only other person I've lived with besides my family is Lexie so this will definitely be a new experience.
I didn't tell Gemma much about what happened besides that I needed a place to live so I'm not sure how much she knows. She doesn't mention anything about Liam while we make our way through the airport and even as we search for her car in the parking garage. When we find it she helps me load my bags and we get on the road while she tells me about everything from the house to her stressful week at work. But I can tell that Lexie or Lottie or someone filled her in because it isn't long until she gives me the look. The one I've been dreading.
"So how are you doing?" She asks, her voice full of pity and concern.
"Look, we're gonna get this over with quickly. Yes, I'm ok. No I don't want to talk about it." I tell her firmly.
"Have you talked to Liam?" She asks, her voice dripping with sympathy. I hate it.
"No. Hopefully when he comes home but who knows. I'm sure he's still pissed at me."
"You don't think you guys will maybe work this out and get back together?"
"Definitely not." I tell her firmly.
"You sound so sure." She says, looking surprised.
"I loved Liam but in the end it wasn't right. He couldn't give me what I needed and I couldn't give him what he needed. It wouldn't be fair for either of us to keep trying."
"So, the guy you slept with. What's happened with that? Have you talked to him? Who was it?" She asks, unable to hide her curiosity.
"No. And I don't plan on it. It's over and I'm done thinking about it. And now I just want to move forward with my life and focus on me and making myself happy. Ok?" I tell her, avoiding her question. I can hear the hostility in my voice. I didn't mean to come off that way but my defenses are up. I can't tell Gemma I cheated on Liam with her little brother. I really don't think she would be mad, especially considering her short lived fling with Julian but I can't afford one more person knowing. Besides, if it did upset her I may be without a place to live again
"Of course. I'm just worried about you is all." Gemma assures me, thankfully not pressing me to answer her question. And not taking offence at my tone. I really can tell she's just concerned. It's sweet and it does push my guard down a little bit.
"I appreciate it, I do. I just don't want to dwell on it." I tell her, softening my voice a bit.
"Of course. I completely understand. But if you want to talk about it, I'm here." She offers before dropping the subject. I don't know if I'll get off that easily. I'm sure she'll push me more to talk later but I'll deal with that when the time comes.
The drive to the house isn't too far. Lottie is there when we arrive, all bubbly and excited that I'm finally here. I am too once I get a look at the place. I haven't even seen pictures. It's bigger than I expected based on the fairly cheap rent. It isn't shiny and new which is probably why. But it's got a rustic charm that I'm kind of already falling in love with. There are four bedrooms so we'll have an extra. Gemma and Lottie already picked their rooms out but to make up for giving me the last pick they went to the old house to get the last of my boxes. Now they're stacked up in the living room waiting for me. As I go upstairs to examine the rooms I struggle to choose but end up picking the one next to Gemma's. It's a little smaller than the other one but it does have a walk in closet and a cute little window seat. It's perfect for me.
The rest of the week is spent trying to get myself settled, not only into the house but into my new life. Our new house is in a different neighborhood than the old one so I'm slowly getting to know the area. I find a coffee shop a few blocks away and a grocery store I can walk to. I like having everything so close. I don't know if I'll ever get used to living in London but there's no doubt that I love it. It's an older city than I'm used to. Even the older, crumbling buildings are beautiful. It's a far cry from the boring Midwestern town I grew up in.
I did go out to Lexie and Niall's new house early in the week to supervise the movers getting their stuff in. They scheduled it a while ago when Lexie decided to move in with him but then they decided to make an impromptu trip to see her family after Vegas. When Lexie mentioned having to push it back until they got back and how much of a pain it would be, I volunteered to help. It's the least I can do after everything the two of them have done for me. Besides, it's not like I have a job or anything to keep me busy. The house is about fifteen minutes out of the city in a really nice gated community. It's huge and new, similar to the house I was going to move into with Liam. It kind of makes me sad realizing how much things have changed in just over a month. This was supposed to be us, taking this huge step together this but it wouldn't have been the same. Even on our best days we were never as good together as Niall and Lexie are. I'm happy for them though. I know Lexie has been careful not to show how completely blissful she is when we talk lately. She doesn't want to rub it in my face. But it's clear as day. I just hope soon she'll realize she doesn't have to worry about me. I'm fine where I'm at right now. Single and working on myself.
That being said, I seriously need to find a job. I'm still not sure exactly what I want to be doing right now but I do know I need to bring in some money. I have some money saved, some from graduation but the majority of it was a gift from my mom and stepdad. It's something to get me started they said. But I know if won't last forever. I looked for research lab jobs in the week I was home but nothing turned up. So for now I'm just planning to get any job I can to pay the bills and go from there. When I go to see Lou and Lux I see how busy she is. She's picked up a ton of jobs here and there since she's not tied up with the boys as much now and it seems like she's planning on doing more when they go on their hiatus. When she offers to rehire me as Lux's nanny it's as a joke but the more we both think about it, the more it makes sense. I need something to bring in money but not something that's going to tie me down too much. I want to have the opportunity to explore my options on where to go from here as much as possible. It's perfect so we decide that I'll start next week.
Other than getting adjusted I haven't done much else this week besides unpack. I saw Lou but that's the only social interaction I've had outside of my roommates. I don't know where everyone else is. I obviously haven't talked to Liam. I'm sure Louis is fully on his side because I haven't heard from him either. Lottie and Gemma have been pretty busy too. Lottie is usually with her boyfriend and Gemma has a lot of friends she usually goes out with. She tried to stay in the first few nights I was here but I think she got the hint that I didn't want to be smothered and backed off. To tell the truth I wouldn't mind talking about things a little bit. I feel like I'm starting to bottle things up again. But I can't talk to Gemma about what I'm thinking about. Or Lottie. I can only talk to Lexie and she's not here.
I really don't want to talk about Liam but now that I'm coming to terms with that being over I can't help but think about the thing I've been ignoring. Harry. Gemma has mentioned him here and there. I guess he is back in London, moving into his new house but I haven't seen him. I'm a little surprised he hasn't been around. I'm still pissed at him for buying that house. I can't believe he's moving into it after I warned him not to. I guess that just proves how little I meant to him. But even though I didn't mean much to him, he meant a lot to me. I guess I'm still working on getting over him. But I can't talk to Gemma about that so I'll just have to wait until Lexie gets back. Luckily they're planning on coming home Sunday. Only a few more days.
I was fully prepared to spend my first Friday night in London at home. I'll probably just find something mindless to watch on Netflix but I need some snacks to get me through the night. I'm in the kitchen grazing when I hear the front door slam. It sticks a little so you really have to force it open and closed. You can hear it throughout the whole house. I'm assuming it's one of the girls so when turn around and see a tall figure it startles me. I drop the snacks in my hands but don't bother to pick them up as I try to struggle to form words.
"Hungry?" Harry asks with a smirk as he walks forward to pick up the food on the floor. A bag of chips, a container of cookies I made earlier this week among other things. I guess the good sign in this breakup is I'm actually eating. The bad thing is that eating is all I'm doing.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, ignoring the warm smile on his gorgeous face. I wasn't prepared to see him. The excitement building in my chest is both surprising and annoying. I'm supposed to be pissed at him. I am pissed at him. Who does he think he is showing up here after two weeks acting like nothing happened? He can't just smile at me and think I'm going to be nice and joke around with him. Not after buying that damn house. It's not going to happen.
"Gemma invited me to go out with you guys." He answers simply as he gets up and sets my food on the counter. He leans against the counter casually as if it's normal. I told him we would never be friends again and he's acting like it never happened. Who does that?
"Out?" I ask, still confused. I haven't seen Gemma all day. I never agreed to anything.
"Yeah. Although you may want to rethink the outfit choice." He teases me gesturing to my ratty old shorts and tank top. The air isn't working right and it's hot. I didn't pay attention to what I put on because I thought I was home alone. Now I'm wishing I had.
"I'm not going out." I tell him, stepping back and crossing my arms over my chest stubbornly as I hear the front door open and close again.
"You really didn't think I was going to let you stay in tonight did you?" Gemma asks as she makes her way into the room.
"Um yeah. Kind of."
"Screw that. We're going out." Lottie announces as she comes into the kitchen and sits down at the counter with one of her huge makeup kits. I didn't even realize she was home.
"How are you going out? Last time I checked the drinking age in England was 18." I remind her, giving her a pretend stern look. I really don't care. I'm not her mother, she can do what she wants. But I like to give her a hard time. She hates that she's younger than all of us.
"I've got my ways. Don't you worry." She assures me with a wink.
"I don't know guys. I don't know if I really feel up to it." I admit.
"Because you're sad?" Gemma asks, thinking she's finally going to get me to open up.
"I'm not sad." I tell them sticking to my story. I refuse to sulk. Especially with Harry right there.
"Ok then. Sad would've gotten you a rom-com marathon with raw cookie dough and popcorn and PJs. Basically what you were planning. But you say you're fine so that gives you a night out. And yes, a dress and heels are necessary." Lottie warns me.
"I don't want to get dressed up. I can't even think about picking something out right now." I groan.
"Luckily, I have a dress that'll look amazing on you already picked out." She says excitedly.
"I'm really not going to get out of this am I?" I groan even though I already know the answer.
"Nope!" They answer in unison.
Once I'm reluctantly on board Lottie quickly grabs the dress from her closet for me. I really don't want to go out but I think they're really worried about me. I have to prove that I'm going to be fine. I run my flat iron over my hair quickly and Lottie does my makeup in the bathroom before sending me to my room to change. I think Harry is in the living room but I'm trying not to think about his presence in my house right now.
I didn't really look at the dress that Lottie gave me but as I slip it on I realize it's short, skin tight, and very low cut. There's barely any material on the sides too. My chest is on full display in this. I've got front and side cleavage. There's no way this is how it's supposed to look. I feel like I'm going to pop out any minute. I can't believe this is what she picked out for me. I know my style has changed quite a bit since I first got to London but this is sexy to the extreme. It's too much for me. I have to find something else. I go back to Gemma's room, then Lottie's but they aren't upstairs at all.
"Guys. I can't wear this. My boobs are gonna fall out. I look ridiculous." I groan, trying to adjust myself as I creep down the stairs. I know Harry is here somewhere. I definitely don't want him to see me in this. I know he's seen me in way less but still. Now it's not appropriate.
"Let me see. I'm sure you look great." Lottie assures me.
"Did you even look at what you handed me?" I ask doubtfully.
"Yeah a dress made for a girl with great boobs. That would be you. So come on, let me see!" She urges me and I know I'm not going to get out of it.
"You look hot! You're definitely wearing that." Lottie says once I drag myself down the last few stairs. I can see Harry sitting on the couch behind her. When he sees me his eyes practically bulge out of their sockets, confirming just how slutty this dress really is.
"Why can't you wear that? You look good!" Gemma agrees.
"Well if she doesn't feel comfortable...I mean, it is pretty, erm, revealing." Harry says, stumbling over his words a little.
"What's she supposed to wear out? Joggers and a poncho?" Gemma asks sarcastically.
"No, obviously. But that's going to attract a lot of attention. Guys are going to be looking at her." He tries to explain but only digs himself in a bigger hole.
"So? Why does it matter if guys are looking at me?" I ask defiantly, planting my hands on my hips. I guess I can always count on Harry to push my buttons. It makes it a little easier to keep up my cold demeanor toward him at least.
"It doesn't I guess. If that's what you want. I just didn't think you were looking for that yet." He answers, a bitter tone to his voice. It's subtle. I hope Gemma and Lottie don't notice. But I definitely do.
"I'm not looking for anything. That doesn't mean I can't go out looking good if I want to." I clarify for him. Who the hell is he to tell me what I'm looking for?
"You can look good without putting yourself on display." He counters. I can feel my jaw drop and so does Lottie's. He just took it too far. If he thinks I shouldn't wear this, that makes up my mind. I'm definitely wearing this dress now, if only just to spite him.
"Harry, I said you could come out with us. But you cannot be a spy for Liam. Liv has to feel like she can have fun tonight. You can't go reporting everything she does to her ex." Gemma scolds him. It almost makes me laugh. Harry a spy for Liam. That would be entertaining as hell.
"Fine. Wear what you want. I guess I have no opinion." He surrenders, throwing himself on the couch rather forcefully. He's pouting.
"Let me go get your shoes." Lottie says excitedly before running off towards her room.
"I need a drink." I mumble under my breath as I head to the kitchen. If Harry is going out with us tonight I'm going to need a distraction.
When we get to the club I continue drinking. The girls think they've been successful, getting me to let loose and have fun. But Harry is concerned. I think he's convinced that I'm depressed or something. But really I just don't want to talk to him. I don't want him to talk to me. I don't want him around at all right now. I'm still angry with him but I'm sure he'll find some way to talk me himself out of the hole easily if I let him. So I refuse to let him. He's keeping an eye on me which of course just makes me want to rebel more. I'm throwing back drinks and shots almost faster than the bartender can pour them. Honestly I'm surprised Harry hasn't stopped me yet. I know I'm really drunk already but I'm not stopping.
Once Gemma and Lottie start refusing shots, saying they're too drunk I drag them out to the dance floor, hoping it'll get the alcohol out of their system so they can keep drinking with me. I don't want to drink alone. I'm glad they convinced me to come out. I am having a good time. It's weird though. This is the first time I've been out as a single girl in a while. There are a lot of people out here on the dance floor which means we're all pressed together. I've felt hands on my waist more than once and I know the other girls have too. It's not a big deal. It's not like we're going to let anything happen. Harry is watching anyways so I'm sure he would intervene if it did. But it gives me an idea. I'm not in any kind of place where I want to start talking to other guys. But if I do start to show an interest maybe that'll teach Harry a lesson. He can't just sit here and creepily keep watch over me all night. Besides, I really can't resist an opportunity to push his buttons when I know exactly which ones will make him react.
I spot a guy a few feet away so I boldly make my way over to him. The alcohol pumping through my veins is definitely enabling me. I would never be this forward sober. Things start out innocent enough. When I get close enough his hand rests on my hip while we both move in time with the music. But as the song continues I push myself closer to him, turning around so my back is against his front. When I do I spot Harry right where we left him. He looks furious. But somehow seeing him so worked up only fuels me more. I want to push him as far as I can. I feel myself pressing myself even closer to this guy and throwing my head back against his chest. I can't help but smirk at Harry knowing his eyes are fixed on the movement of my hips. He's pissed that I'm dancing with this guy but it's turning him on at the same time. He looks so conflicted. His arms are crossed over his chest making them bulge out more than normal. His eyes are fiery, burning with anger and jealousy, even from a distance. I don't think he's consciously aware of it but he keeps licking his lips while he watches me dance. To be honest, it's turning me on just thinking about what thoughts could possibly be running through his head right now. In my drunk mind my thoughts are turning dirty. I'm loving the way Harry is watching me. I feel triumphant and sexy and deeply desired. Lucky for this guy, I'm focusing all that energy on him.
After a few songs what's his name whispers in my ear that we should go get a drink and I agree enthusiastically. I don't want to lose my buzz. When we get to the bar he tells me his name is James. Everything else about him is just about as dull as his name. From his sandy brown hair and matching eyes to his job title that I can't even remember. But I pretend that I'm fascinated by him. I've got flirt mode switched into high gear, something I didn't even know I had. My hands are on his arms, his leg, thrown across his shoulders while I laugh at his lame jokes and feign interest in his stories. Really, I'm just messing with Harry still. I'm not exactly sure why. I succeeded in showing him I'm not depressed. I made it very clear that I'm not interested in him now. But I keep on flirting. Am I trying to make him jealous?
James buys me some disgusting fruity mixed drink that I choke down to be polite before suggesting that we do shots. I'm throwing back my second tequila and preparing myself to down the drink the bartender just brought me when I feel a strong hand rest on my shoulder.
"Are you quite finished here?" Harry shouts in my ear over the loud music. Even though I can barely hear him I can make out the clear annoyance in his voice.
"I think I'm actually gonna stay here and chat with Jake for a little while longer." I answer, putting on a false sweet tone to my voice. I hear for the first time just how slurred my words are but I know I'm not even close to being done. I feel so free and light for the first time in I don't know how long. I'm not ready to go home just yet.
"It's James." He corrects me.
"Of course it is. James here was just gonna buy me another shot before we head back out to the dance floor. Right James?" I ask but Harry interrupts before he can answer.
"Well I'm your ride. And I'm leaving. Let's go." He reminds me.
"Go ahead. I'll find my own way home." I assure him.
"I'll give you a ride." James offers.
"Oh I'm sure you will mate." Harry scoffs.
"Look Harry, if you want to go you can leave. But I'm not ready to go home yet." I say, turning my back to him but somehow I know he's not going to give up that easily.
"I'm not leaving you here alone." He says stubbornly.
"I'm not alone." I remind him.
"I'm definitely not leaving you alone with this guy." He says, shooting an intimidating look at James.
"Is this your boyfriend or something?" He asks, looking annoyed at Harry.
"Yes." Harry answers before I can.
"No. He is not my boyfriend. I don't have a boyfriend." I answer defiantly.
"Would you just stop with the games already and let me take you home? I'm honestly not in the mood for this shit." Harry groans at my drunken rebellion.
"Then go. I'm not stopping you." I say stubbornly.
"Liv, seriously. You're my responsibility tonight. Don't try to fight me."
"I'm your responsibility? That's a joke. You just want to try to claim me. It's not gonna happen."
"You don't even know what you're saying right now." He says with a heavy sigh. I can tell I'm annoying him.
"Actually I do. I have two weeks worth of shit I'd love to say to you right now."
"Ok fine. Let's hear it." He prompts me.
"No. I won't let you bring me down tonight. I'm actually having a good time. And you're spoiling it." I tell him, aware that I sound like I'm pouting.
"You're having a good time with this guy? Really?" He asks doubtfully.
"As a matter of fact I am. So if you'll leave us alone we can get back to it."
"We can go back to my place if you want. That way we won't be disturbed." James suggests, throwing a pointed look at Harry. I think he's a little annoyed at his butting in.
"I'd love that." I agree, knowing it'll set Harry off. I jump down from my stool and hold my hand out to James for him to lead me out but Harry doesn't let him get that far.
"That's it. I'm seriously not playing anymore. Let's go." He says through gritted teeth as he grabs my arm and pulls me in the opposite direction.
"Hey! I'm not leaving!" I shout, trying to pull away but he's got a strong grip and I'm wasted. I don't have enough strength to really fight back.
"If the lady says she doesn't want to go, she doesn't have to." James tries to step in but based on the way he immediately steps back from Harry's glare I can tell he's not going to try to interfere again.
"She's also fucking wasted and newly single, trying to prove a point. I promise you she's a hell of a lot safer with me than she is with you and I think you know that. I saw what you just did." He says, staring him down.
"Can I at least have your number? We can hang out some other time?" He asks, turning his attention back to me.
"Only if you want to taste my fist as I jam it into your jaw. Get the fuck out of here." Harry threatens him. It's enough to make him scurry away without another word.
"What the hell are you doing?" I shout as he starts pulling me out of the club again.
"I'm saving your little rebellious ass is what I'm doing. You're acting like an idiot!" He says without turning around. I'm still trying to pull away from his grip but it's not working. He's too strong and I'm too drunk.
"It's not your job to save me! It's none of your business if I'm being stupid. You can't do shit like that!"
"Shit like what? Stop you from ending up cut into pieces in a garbage bag in that guy's basement?"
"He was harmless. His name is James for fucks sake." I laugh at the absurdity of what he's implying.
"James just slipped something in the last drink he ordered you. The one you were about to guzzle down like water. You're lucky I was keeping an eye on you." He says over his shoulder. I definitely didn't see that. I guess it is a good thing that Harry was here but I'm not about to admit that to him.
"I never asked you to! You're not my boyfriend Harry. You have no right to tell me who I can and can't talk to."
"Yeah you've made that abundantly clear. Now can you please stop resisting? There are paparazzi outside and I really don't want to read headlines about me carrying a girl out of a club against her will tomorrow morning."
"Fine." I answer but pull my arm out of his grip and cross them over my chest. "Where are the girls anyways?"
"They left about an hour ago." He informs me.
"And you just stayed to keep an eye on me?"
"I told you I was looking out for you didn't I? I'm not going to stop you from drinking and partying. You can do what you want. You're a grown woman. But if I feel like you're in danger you better believe I'm going to step in." He says, turning around and releasing the full force of his burning stare on me. The intensity in his eyes is staggering. In my head I know he doesn't care about me as much as he claims but damn, he's convincing. When this Harry comes out it's hard to believe he's the same guy that betrayed my trust time and time again. It makes me question if that Harry even exists. But he does. I know he does. I can't just forget all of that and fall for him again.
We stay locked in a wordless exchange until there's a buzz from Harry's phone, I'm sure from his security telling us his car is out front. I let him lead me outside with his hand on the small of my back to steady me while cameras flash in our faces. It's finally hitting me how drunk I am. It's taking everything I have to remain upright. I think I really over did it tonight. But I have to try to hide how wasted I am. These pictures are going to be all over tomorrow. At first I'm worried about being photographed with Harry before I remember everybody still thinks I'm Liam's girlfriend. Besides, I've been seen with Harry before. Our friendship is common knowledge. It's just our affair that isn't. Once he helps me into the passenger seat he hurries around to the driver's seat and peals out onto the road quickly without so much as another word.
"So where are you taking me?" I ask after a few moments of silence.
"Home." He answers tersely. I notice both hands are planted firmly on the steering wheel. Almost like he's nervous being around me.
"You mean to the house you stole from Liam? Fuck no. Stop the car now. I'm getting out." I protest, trying to open the door.
"Your house. Stop acting crazy." He says, reaching over to move my hand from the door handle. He quickly drops it when he's assured I won't make a break for it and moves it back to the steering wheel. Away from me.
"Oh. So are you going to stay with me then?" I ask, getting an idea in my head. I see how uncomfortable he is around me right now. I wonder how far I can push him until he cracks.
"What are you talking about Liv?" He asks, looking confused before focusing his attention back on the road.
"Well you saved me from the bad bad man. The least I can do is thank you for that." I answer innocently, batting my eyelashes at him while my hand moves to his leg.
"Don't play with me Liv." He groans, pushing my hand away.
"I'm serious. I am single now after all." I remind him.
"You hate me." He says, still confused by my offer.
"I don't hate you. I don't trust you. But that doesn't mean we can't have a little fun." I tell him suggestively.
"God dammit." He mumbles under his breath.
"I'm not saying I want you to be my boyfriend. But if you ended up in my bed tonight I wouldn't kick you out."
"I can't sleep with you Liv."
"Why not? We've done it before. Countless times." I remind him.
"You know why not."
"It's just one night Harry. I'm offering. More than offering. I want this." I try to convince him.
"You don't know what you want." He argues.
"I know I want to feel your magic tongue between my legs. I want to come undone like only you can do to me." I tease him, knowing the more graphic I am the more turned on he'll get.
"Liv, stop." He warns me.
"I want to wrap my lips around your cock and watch you lose control too. I want to feel that power." I continue. I know I'm getting to him. His hands are gripped so tightly on the steering wheel his knuckles are turning white. I've got him right where I want him.
"I'm just trying to get you home safe. Don't push it. Please." He pleads with me.
"Fine. But the offer stands. It's your call." I answer and sit back against my seat. I'm satisfied with how worked up I've gotten him so I focus my energy at watching the city pass outside the window of the car while Harry drives. It surprises me when he pulls up in front of a gate, presses a few buttons and drives through. There's a fairly long driveway we drive up before parking in front of a big house that I know for a fact isn't mine.
"Where are we?" I ask when he puts the car in park.
"My house." He answers before getting out. I'm still looking at the structure when he comes around to my side and opens the door for me.
"I thought I told you not to bring me here?" I ask, anger rising up in me again.
"It's a different house Liv." He says quietly.
"Oh." I answer, as I take a look around. Even in the dark I can tell this isn't the house Liam showed me. He didn't move in there.
"So are you coming or what?" He says with a sigh as he holds his hand out to me. I hesitate before I take it, realizing I can't sit out here all night.
"So my place isn't good enough then? You had to bring me to yours?" I ask, resuming my obnoxious flirting as I take a few steps but between the alcohol, Lottie's heels and the uneven stone driveway I'm stumbling.
"I didn't bring you here to fuck you." Harry clarifies while wrapping an arm around my waist to steady me. He seems tense. Angry. It's actually really fucking hot. At first I was just teasing him but now I'm thinking maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea if I convinced him to sleep with me.
"Why did you bring me here then?" I ask. I think about refusing his help. I don't want to look completely helpless. But I think I really need it at this point. I feel like I'm getting more intoxicated by the second even though I stopped drinking a while ago.
"Because you're wasted and spouting off shit that I know you don't want your roommates to hear. You have no filter right now. At least here it's just me. You can't tell me anything I don't already know."
"You're protecting me once again. My hero." I gasp as he lets go of me to open the door.
I can tell he's getting frustrated with me because as soon as the door is open he storms through it, leaving me on the porch to get myself inside. When I do I take a good look around at the lower level of the house. It's huge and gorgeous. I can see the kitchen to the right of me and the living room to the left with a massive curved staircase in the foyer in front of me. Harry has disappeared but when he returns he's carrying a glass of water.
"Drink." He instructs holding out the glass and I take it obediently before wandering into his living room.
"This is your house?" I ask as I take in the huge plush sectional that takes up a good portion of the room. It's sitting in front of a sleek flat screen mounted on the wall. Shelves line either side filled with books, records and some of his awards. There's a piano on the other side of the room in front of a massive wall of windows. The room is gigantic. I'm pretty sure my entire house would fit in here.
"Yes that's what I just told you." He says as he follows me. Probably making sure I don't break any of his beautiful things but I keep my hands to myself and instead keep sipping on my water.
"I can't believe you actually listened to me when I told you not to move into that house." I admit as I turn back around to face him.
"You said you'd never talk to me again if I did. I couldn't live with that." He reminds me. He continues to make me melt tonight. I was right. Talking to him is making all my anger fall away. He's good. Dangerous and convincing. It doesn't even seem like he's trying even though I'm sure he is. It's making my muddled brain confused. Tonight he's been protective and patient and kind with me even though I'm acting like a brat. What kind of guy does that if he doesn't care about a girl? Harry really is one of a kind.
"Well this place is much better. You made a good choice." I say, awkwardly laughing as I break eye contact.
"You've seen the living room and the front foyer. I don't think you can make that judgement yet." He laughs. It's a lovely sound. A genuine Harry laugh. I can't help but smile when I hear it.
"So give me the tour. We can start with the bedrooms." I suggest, unable to resist the perfect setup he just gave me.
"Sure. I can show you your guest room for the night. While I go to my bedroom. Alone." He says firmly.
"You really aren't going to have sex with me tonight?" I ask, surprised at his resistance. I know he's trying to do the right thing but it's Harry. Usually he doesn't need that much convincing. Somehow his resistance only makes me want him more.
"Nope. Come on. It's time for you to go sleep this off." He suggests, gesturing toward the stairs.
It's a long walk, especially in my state but he keeps one hand steady on my waist so I don't fall. When we reach the top floor he leads me to a room at the end of the hall gesturing for me to go inside while he turns back in the opposite direction.
"Where are you going?"
"To get you some clothes from my room." He explains turning around without another word. I start to go to my guest room but the drunken boldness inside me can't quite give up that easily.
I'm slow walking on my own but eventually I make it to the room he disappeared into. If I was impressed with the living room it has nothing on the master bedroom. I've never seen a bedroom this big. You could run laps around it. I don't think I've ever seen a bed this big either. It looks very inviting. I'm still staring in awe when Harry comes back.
"What are you doing?" He asks, surprised to see me.
"Can you unzip me?" I ask, turning my back to him and lifting my hair.
"Liv..." He warns me.
"Seriously this dress is like cutting off my circulation. I can't breathe. Just help me with the zipper and I'll be out of your hair." I assure him.
"Fine." He agrees, probably against his better judgement and sets the clothes he was about to bring for me on the bed. He's careful as he slides down my zipper, making a special effort not to touch me. When I'm free he steps back immediately.
"Thanks." I say as I can finally take a deep breath. The dress really was tight. But that's not why I wanted him to unzip me. He's saying something about the clothes he has for me but I don't pay attention as I let my dress drop to the ground and step out of it.
"Jesus Liv." He says when he looks up as if I startled him. I can't help but smirk as I see him struggle not to look down from my face. But he's not that strong. His eyes are wide as he takes it all in. I can tell, I've got him right where I want him.