Camila POV
The so-called comfortable silence quickly became borderline unbearable. I kept wondering to myself why this car ride was taking so long. Being next to Lauren for so long while she's playing with my hand was too much for my heart to handle...for some reason.
The car came to a stop at a traffic light and Lauren took advantage to use her free hand...that is, the one that isn't holding so tightly onto mine...to flip all of her hair over one shoulder and fanning herself with her hand.
"Whoa. It's hot today", she said continuing to fan herself. I was unknowingly staring at her and my infatuation came to light.
"Camila, are you ok? You're kinda staring", Lauren said uncomfortably shuffling under my gaze. I quickly snapped myself out of my trance to hide my appreciation of her beauty in absolutely any and everything she does. This could not be more confusing.
I give her a toothless smile and nod my head 'yes', because I was unable to formulate any form of logical excuse. Thankfully, she didn't read any further into it. Hopefully I can voice my frustrating obsession with her body without hurting her feelings. This built up tension inside my body was quickly becoming unbearable.
"God, where's this damn school, I feel like we've been driving forever. B-because you know...I j-just want to get this day over with", I said nervously looking away hoping that she didn't see right through my statement. There was no response, but I heard a soft chuckle coming from next to me and I couldn't help but smile to myself. I turned my gaze to outside the window, and the view of...on a regular day, hell...but today, my best friend...,school came into light.
A surge of relief shot through me, before my mind took over and I would not be able to validate my future actions towards Lauren. Even something, maybe I myself, can't understand as yet. Pulling up to the school, I undid my seatbelt and gathered my things to leap out of the car as quickly as possible.
"Don't worry princess, we're here now. You can get away from me now", she said turning and looking at me while turning off the engine. A small smile crept up on her face followed by a nervous laugh indicating that she was joking. But her eyes were telling a different story, I could see that she understood my earlier statement about wanting to get away from her. In that very moment, so much guilt washed over me. It was so overwhelming that I felt my eyes begin to sting and they became glassy just watching Lauren trying to hide her disappointment spewing because of my statement. She tried to hide it, but I can read her like a book. And I love books.
So, if you love books, and you related her to a book. Does that mean that you therefore love her Camila? I said to myself inwardly, in third person.
I mentally slapped myself for getting so side-tracked, and also for going there and making that unnecessary connection.
She quickly looked away from me and looked down, playing with her fingers. If I could've hated myself anymore in that moment, I would.
"Look at me", I say placing my index finger under her chin making her turn to return her gaze to me. Those eyes. Her eyes have changed from when we got into the car the first time. Her eyes, are now, the embodiment of sadness, with their glassy trait protruding through the barrier, a waterfall building up at the edges. All I could think about was that I could cause that much pain to someone, and right there, I vowed internally, to never hurt her again. I moved my finger from under her chin, but only to caress her cheek with my palm.
"Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way. I love spending time with you", I tell her in complete genuineness, tracing a path on her cheek with my thumb, not removing my intense stare from her green pools of bliss. Her face relaxes into my hand, uncontrollably closing her eyes, and I felt a sudden release of breath like she was holding it in for that entire moment.
"No really, it's okay. I'm used to people kind of trying to keep their distance from me. I'd totally understand", she said almost ashamed of herself. Self-loathing quickly reached the surface of her being so blatantly obviously. She looked back down at her hands playing a thumb war with each other. I soon got enough of her self-hatred and decided to stop it.
"No no Lauren. You need to stop that. You're way more than those people are trying to make you feel like. Y-you don't even realise how much you mean to some people. I just hope that one day you see it as clearly as the rest of us do", I tell her matter-of-factly, mentally crossing my fingers hoping I got through to her. No matter how badly I wanted her to understand what I was saying, I didn't want it to be too obvious that I'm the one that admires her in every way. She might not feel the same way.
Lauren and I have just been sitting in my car for the past ten minutes, talking about everything and nothing. I just wanted to know everything about her. I wanted to know her inside out. I want her to just open up to me and trust me with her deepest and darkest secrets that lurk in the shadows of her otherwise lively soul. Is it so weird that I just want her to keep telling me stories forever, and never run out of any?
After our back-and-forth seemingly endless conversation, a comfortable silence slowly crept over us. There was no force in trying to fill the empty air because it was just as peaceful as when chatter was blooming. That's when reality hit me...I had to go to school.
"Ugh I don't feel like going to school", she said to me with a playful pout. It's like she read my mind. She's so cute like that. I couldn't help it, I poked her puffed up cheeks and let out a little laugh at her goofiness.
"You know what? Fuck it. We're skipping today", she said impatiently, starting back up the car and locking the doors before I could even consider jumping out and making a run for it. But why would I want to leave? She's right here. She hurriedly pulled out of the school parking lot and turned onto the main road.
"Oh thank God, because school and I wouldn't have mixed well today", I said breathing a loud sigh of relief and resting my head back on the headrest in the passenger's seat.
"Wow Ms Cabello, I never pegged you as the skipping type", Lauren said taking her eyes off the road and looking at me raising her eyebrows jokingly. She knows how to cheer someone up.
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Lauren POV
Camila and I were just driving around basically aimlessly, talking about something as simple as food to something as convoluted as the origin of the universe.
"No Lauren, you're wrong! How could it have started with a big bang? There's no proof", she said to me trying to keep herself calm in our slowly heating up argument. I couldn't even take her seriously at that point. I burst out laughing viciously at her not really because I thought that her argument was flawed, but because she was so cute when she was pouting, I just couldn't take it seriously. Of course I didn't want to make my feelings towards her mannerisms known, so I disguised in my laughing fit.
"Hey! Quit laughing. It's not funny", she said crossing her arms over her chest and trying her best to keep the stance of angry but a snicker was fighting to bubble to the surface, and soon, she was defeated. The car erupted in laughter, which quickly died down to a stop.
"Where are you taking me anyway?", she asked looking out of the window to see if she could pinpoint our exact coordinates. I was too tired to take her anywhere else but my home. We could get some studying there, so that we would still get some work in today.
"We're going to my house, gorgeous...um...is it...I mean...is it okay to call you gorgeous?It's okay if you're uncomfortable by it", I said to her nervously tapping the steering wheel with my thumb and not looking anywhere but the road ahead.
"Hey, you know what they say, always speak the truth", she said with a smug smirk on her face. I merely scoffed at her sudden increase in head size.
"No, I love it when you call me things like that", she said focusing her eyes on me to ensure that I knew, that at that point, she was being genuine. I simply accepted her offer with a nod of my head and a smile on my face.
It is indeed the truth...