1. When you think of the person more often than not.
2. When you think about him/her even though you don’t want to.
3. When you keep mentally reliving past memories with him/her, usually the happy/sweet ones.
4. When he/she comes to mind the first instant when you are down and out.
5. When you still have questions and resignations about the past. You wonder what could have been or why didn’t it turn out a certain way.
6. When you assign blame for the way things turned out, whether it’s to him/her, yourself or the circumstance.
7. When thought/sight of him/her trigger certain emotional reactions, such as aversion, anxiety, frustration, resignation.
8. When you keep trying to improve yourself because you feel you were not good enough.
9. When you have a desire to spite him/her, as a way of making him/her regret for whatever happened.
10. When you often bring up the person in your conversations, even when there is no relation.
11. When you have a desire or urge to contact him/her even though you previously told yourself you didn’t want to.
12. When you find yourself living out the same looping patterns. A very common example would be on-again, off-again relationships with that person. Or a lingering state of relationship that doesn’t get anywhere. Even if you are with other people, if the relationships act out in the same pattern as the past, it reflects you have not moved on. There’s a part of you entrenched in the past which is making the same situation reenact itself, just with a different person.