*I’m quite the romantic….* *The dress is on the side...yeah...like THE dress from Cali*
Saturday evening had arrived and I was starting to regret the plans I had made with Zach.
“You cannot cancel your date with him.” Vanessa argues; glaring at me as I make no move to get up from the bed and change into something decent.
“It’s not a date.” I protest, glancing up from my homework long enough to glare at her.
“Besides,” she continues, ignoring what I just said. “He sounds like a total hunk.”
“You can have him.” I tell her as I muddle through math problems.
“I have a fiancé, remember?” she casually reminds me, holding up her left hand to once again show me her very sparkly diamond ring.
“How on earth could I forget about darling Fredrick?” I sarcastically respond, rolling my eyes as I slam my textbook shut and stand up. “Oh Fredrick, I love you!” I mock, holding my hands to my heart as I dance around the room with the expression on my face that Vanessa wears too often in his company. “Fredrick, lets make out! Your lips are so soft, Fredrick!”
“Shut up!” Vanessa giggles, chucking a pillow at my head. “Are you jealous that I’m getting more action then you?”
“Not in the slightest.” I cheekily respond, smiling before dropping back on to my bottom bunk. For a minute or so all conversation ceased.
“You can’t cancel.” she tells me, bringing back the original topic of conversation.
“Can too.”
“Can not.”
“Can too.”
“I’m not getting into this argument with you. What time is he supposed to pick you up?” Vanessa asks.
I rack my brain for the time he had conveyed to me Tuesday evening when he stopped by the dorm. Vanessa had gone out with Max and Ava, leaving just him and I alone. When I walked him out, he gave Ava and Max’s door a strange look. I asked them if he knew the girls in there and his only response was maybe. It was quite the cryptic scene. Maybe one of them was his ex-girlfriend.
“6 o’clock.” I mutter, grumpily averting my gaze from hers.
“Great. We’ve got plenty of time to get you ready!”
“I didn’t know this was a group activity.” I tell her.
“If it was you on your own, you’d go in a neon green sundress.”
“There is nothing wrong with neon green.” I say, even though I knew that there was in fact quite a bit wrong with neon green. At this point I was just arguing for the sake of argument.
Vanessa gives me a very pointed look which is then followed with grimace.
“But I don’t feel good!” I whine, knowing full well that there was no way I was going to win this argument. There was another reason I didn’t want to go though. It was a reason I was really trying to ignore; Louis missed me.
“Take some Advil.” Vanessa suggests, smugly smiling as she absorbs the fact that she has basically won once again.
“I hate you.” I tell her, pulling myself off the warm bed while being careful not to bang my head.
“I’m so glad I got stuck with such a nice roommate.” Vanessa jokes, laughing as she tosses me a towel. I stick out my tongue at her moments before she shoos me out of the room. “Go take a shower, you smelly creature.” she teases, closing and locking the door behind me.
I was slipping into my dress when Vanessa glanced up from her computer.
“You’ve got a tattoo?” she asks.
“Yeah.” I say, struggling to zip up the dress. Vanessa climbs down for the top bunk and zips it for me.
“Huh. I guess I never took you for the type.”
“Eh.” I say; in all honesty, I never took me for the type either.
“I must say,” I confess to Vanessa as I examine myself in the full length mirror hanging on the back of the door. “This is not as bad as the time my friend Tessa made my dress up like a prostitute.”
“I think that’s a compliment…” she trails off as she tries to process the information I just shared with her.
“It is, please take it was one.” I examined myself in the mirror with a strange expression. Vanessa had insisted that I wear the dress. The one Louis had basically bought for me back in California.
“You’ll totally thank me for this when you get back.” she confidently informs me.
“We’ll see.” I tell her, even though I knew full well that I would. It was, after all, an art show. And I am, after all, and artist.
“Stop fidgeting.” Vanessa hisses as a knock on the door sounds. “You look great!”
Vanessa pulled open the door and Zach stepped in; handing me a me a dozen scarlet red roses. From behind Zach I could see Vanessa giving me two thumbs up, she obviously approved.
I took the roses from him with a shy smile and set them down on the night stand. I was hoping Vanessa would run out and buy a vase while I was gone. It would be a shame for such a lovely bouquet to go to waste.
“Are you ready to go? I’ve made dinner reservations for us at a nearby restaurant.” I nod my head as a blush colors my cheeks. Vanessa was making some very obscene gestures from her position behind Zach and it was causing me to giggle. “Is there something on my face?” Zach questions, an amused twinkle in his eyes.
“No, there is nothing on your face, its perfect.”
You idiot.
You have basically set yourself up for the demise of the century.
Zach winks at me and then chivalrously holds out his arm. I do everything in my power to ignore Vanessa and all the things she’s doing.
“HAVE FUN!” she hollers after us.
“You look beautiful.” he whispers in my ear as we walk towards his car. Instead of intelligently responding, I just smile and make an attempt at a cute response. It was inevitable that the end result would be nearly disastrous.
“You too.”
No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. That did not just happen. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I’m so stupid. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. My life is ruined.
Zach surprises me by laughing and being totally cool and at ease with what just happened. “By the color your cheeks are turning, I could assume that you are slightly embarrassed.”
My lack of response only causes him to laugh harder before draping his arm over my shoulder.
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone that you think I’m beautiful.”
“That was incredible!” I gush to Zach for what feels like the hundredth time. I was in complete shock of how phenomenal the artwork at the show was.
“I agree completely. My favorite was definitely ‘Dark Moon’.” it was absolutely wonderful that I had finally met someone who was as much as an art enthusiast as I am.
Except for Zayn.
Stop thinking about Zayn! If you continue thinking about Zayn, eventually you’ll start thinking about Louis!
Damn it.
“What was your favorite?” Zach asks me with a slightly annoyed expression on his face. I must have been zoning out.
“It would have to be ‘Painted Tears’. I’m pretty sure the artist cried on that canvas. There is no other solution for such raw emotion.”
“What about the…ugh what was its name?” Zach racks his brain for the name, grasping around in the air for the term that had slid off his tongue. “Oh! That’s right! ‘Death by night’!”
“That was a creepy painting.” I confess to Zach, fiddling with my hands as he opened the car door for me. “You have a thing for darker paintings, huh?” I tease him, already seeing the trend in Zach’s preferred artwork.
“I guess so.” he shrugs his shoulders and offers me a rakish grin. “At least I didn’t coo about ‘Children of Daisies’ for 10 minutes!”
“Shut up!” I laugh, shoving him off as he smiles and grabs my hand. I squeeze it and allow him to twirl me around a couple times on the sidewalk. The fluorescent street lights, and the headlights of passing cars were our strobe lights.
“I’m a ballerina!” I giggle as I feel the glow of the street lamp shine down on me. Zach spins me right into arms. Chest to chest we stood in dead silence. I glanced up at him and nervously swallowed. I didn’t have to be clairvoyant to see where this was going. His hands were pressed to my lower back, their heating seeping through my dress. He started leaning closer, his eyes fluttering closed. I stood still in complete and under panic, and then at the last second I turned my head. His lips pressed firmly to my cheek instead of my lips, the intended target.
“There’s someone else, isn’t there?” he asks me, pulling back with a guarded look in his eyes. His arms retracted from my waist, and he took a step away from me.
“Yeah.” I admit, hating myself for the pained look in his gorgeous green orbs.
Orb (orb) Archaic. n. something round, as a sphere, globe, planet, eyeball, or eye. – V.t to form (something) into a circle or sphere, or encircle or surround (something). [Latin orbis circle, disk].
And that is how you mentally ruin a moment.
Way to channel your inner ‘Dark’.
“And who may I ask is my competition?” Zach questions, a glimmer of hope flickering across his face.
There isn’t any competition.
He’ll win every time.
I’ve been dreaming about Louis Tomlinson since I turned 15 and saw his audition on the x-factor. That kind of love can’t be abandoned or replaced so easily.
“You’d never believe me if I told you.” I try, hoping that maybe I wouldn’t have to say those two words. Because every time I do, I die a little inside.
“Try me.” he pleads, his words barely above a whisper. His hands reached out and clasped mine in an almost desperate grip between our two forms.
“Louis Tomlinson.” I honestly didn’t think he would believe me, but something in my expression must have said otherwise.
“You aren’t together, right?” he confirms, stepping in closer. I shake my head as my heart slams against my rib cage. “Then I’m definitely the luckier of the two of us.” This time when he leaned in I didn’t move. I let life happen and slipped into the personality of a strong, confident, and beautiful young woman.
That was also the moment in my life where I began considering myself a whore.
There are now two boys on my kissed list.
The whorer.
Louis’ POV
“We absolutely cannot let Louis see this.” I hear Niall say from the other side of the door. I use the towel to dry my hair off a bit more before zipping my pants and opening the door.
“Absolutely can’t let me see what.” I ask them, my eyes flitting to the TV just milliseconds before Liam lunges for the remote and presses the off button.
“Nothing.” Harry drawls his gaze between everyone. But it was too late; the damage was done.
“So she’s found someone else, huh?” I ask, striding across the room and leaning against the window. The sole purpose of that action was to hide my hurt. Hide it from the boys, and if I was lucky, hide it from myself.
“She was a whore anyone.”
“Elle’s super ugly.”
“You could do better.”
“Theres better girls out there.”
“Have some beer.”
“You don’t really want her anyways.”
“She was so weird.”
They were just trying to be helpful and consoling, but it did the complete opposite.
“Don’t say those things about her!” I snap, my eyes fluttering closed as I try to shove down my burning anger.
The lads remain silent as I stand in still lost in my own thoughts.
“So what are you going to do about it then?” Harry asks, as though there was a very obvious solution to this situation that I was missing.
I shrug and glance over my shoulder, “What can I do?”
“You could-“
“It was a rhetorical question.” I interrupt, stopping Zayn before he could get any further.
“So that’s in then? You’re just going to let her go and be pissed at yourself for the rest of forever because of it?” Harry asks, suddenly appearing behind me. I whirl around in an almost furious phase of anger.
“What the hell can I do!” I retort, somewhere between a growl and a shout. “We’re in halfway across the globe!”
“And we’re on tour.” Niall not-so-helpfully adds.
“Why don’t you text her?” Liam suggests, shrugging as I glare at him.
“With what?” I stupidly ask, scowling as I do so. This type of rage was so foreign to me. Being without this girl was killing me. I couldn’t survive without her. I was a
ngry, short-tempered, quiet, and I wasn’t getting very much sleep.
“You’re phone, dumbass.” Niall grins, chucking me that device. “I’ll tell you right now that she misses you just as much.”
“I seriously doubt that.” I mumble, the image of her kissing that other boy permanently ingrained in my memory. It was because of that image that I chucked the phone right back at Niall.
“What the hell are you doing, man?” he asks after having been almost impaled by my cellphone.
“You’re right. She’s not worth it.” Those four words consisted of the biggest lie I had ever told. Of course she was worth it.
“You liar.” Zayn whispers, something that seemed so loud in the sudden silence.
“Does it matter.” I mutter, looking over my shoulder at him. I let out a loud sigh and flop my back onto the wall.
“I know you and Elle weren’t following the tabloids all summer,” Niall starts, “but I was. And do you want to know what I noticed?”
“No, but I’m sure you’ll tell me anyways.” I rudely respond, internally cringing as I see my Irish mate flinch.
“Don’t be such an ass, Louis.” Liam tells me. “Niall’s just trying to help.”
I didn’t respond to him, I just nodded at Niall to continue.
“The fans shipped you so hard. Elle is a Directioner and they absolutely loved that.” he pauses before adding the last part. “They absolutely loved you two. Together.”
Elle’s POV
“Rumor has it you’ve got date number two today…” Vanessa pries, the day after I went to the art show with Zach.
“Its not a date.” I start with, doing a double take before heading towards the showers. “Were you snooping through my texts again?” I question, more amused than anything.
“So it is a date!” Vanessa cheekily infers, reading the whole situation incorrectly.
“No. We’re just friends.” I tell her, leaning against the open doorframe.
“Liar. I totally saw the way he kissed you under that light post yesterday, and-“
“VANESSA!” I shout, a flood of color coating my cheeks as I think of her watching us. “DON’T WATCH THAT STUFF!” I groan, whipping my towel out to swat her across the face.
“Why not? You watch Fredrick and I.”
“Its hard not to!” I protest, trying to defend myself. “It’s basically sex with clothes on!”
“Well that makes you watching Fredrick and I make out- porn.” I couldn’t even respond to that one.
“Just…don’t watch us anymore.” I say, rolling my eyes as I turn around to head for the showers at noon.
“Fine. If you insist, I won’t watch you and your ‘friend’ Zach kissing passionately under the street lamps anymore. If it makes you uncomfortable that I saw him grab your butt, I won’t watch anymore.” Vanessa looked so smug I could have screamed.
“I’m going to kill you.” I hiss, the blush betraying my words and tone. With that in mind, I storm off towards the bathroom. I needed the hot shower after my three hours of studying this morning.
“Leave.” I sternly inform Vanessa as I point towards the door. “I have some very important phone calls to make and I can’t have you in the background asking me to pass the weed.”
“THAT WAS ONE TIME!” she defends, a humongous smile stretched across her face.
“Well one time was all it took for Tessa to think I’m whoring it up over with my drug lord boyfriends.” I explain to Vanessa.
“Did you say boyfriends? As in plural?” she looked like a little kid on Christmas as she asked those two questions.
“YES!” I laugh, “Now leave!”
“Alright! Alright! I’m leaving!”
8 o’clock in the morning in America and I knew for a fact a couple things.
1) Tessa is not up this early. Having so many souls captured on her face exhausts her far too much.
2) Mary Anne wouldn’t answer. She’s sent me one text since the major blow out fight back in Nevada and it was basically her explaining that if I was going to take Tessa’s side, then we weren’t going to work out.
3) Mom was probably up.
4) I’ve got an hour till my… friend adventure.
Mom and I talked for a solid 20 minutes until I asked to speak with Braden.
“Good mornin’, Elle!” he trills, the sound of sleep still thick in his voice.
“Hey, sleepy head!” I respond, making the motion to fall back onto my bed.
“OUCH!” I yelp, clutching my head after it bounces back off the top bunk. I’m still having trouble getting used to that.
“What’s wrong?” Braden asks, the sound of cereal being shoved into his mouth making the words a bit harder to distinguish.
“I just hit my head.” I tell him, not really wanting to get into the specifics. I could feel a lump starting to form; it was tender and quite large.
“You silly goose!” he giggles. I could almost see the milk dribbling down his chin as he rambled with his mouth full of fruit loops.
“I’m not a goose!” I tease, a smile coming to my face as I think of my favorite sibling.
“Yeah you are!” he laughs, much harder than what was necessary for the hilarity of the situation. Little kids find everything funny though, and I find that the most adorable thing ever. It’s impossible not to laugh when Braden laughs. And that’s how I ended up rolling on the floor for a good 2 minutes simply because he was laughing.
“You’re so weird.” I inform him after having finally pulled myself together.
“Well you’re weirder.”
“Whatever.” I tell him, rolling my eyes even though I knew he couldn’t see them. “How is school going?” I ask him, feeling guilty that I had missed his first day of school.
“It’s so fun. I wish you could go to school with me.” Braden informs, the pout on his face seeping into his words.
“Me too, kiddo.” if only school were still as simple as it was in first grade. I’m a week into college and I already have a 10 page report on the history of modern day language due on Friday. That’s not to mention my 40 math problems, the 100 french flash cards I have to make, and the 3D model of ancient Greece.
“Do you love me?” Braden asks. It is suffice to say I was a bit surprised.
“Of course I love you!” I tell him.
“Because Aiden says you don’t love us and that’s why you left us.”
I let out a tremendous internal groan as I attempted to control the urge to get on a flight back to Rhode Island so I could pound some sense into his head. Aiden was a huge gamer and really smart, but that doesn’t mean he’s not a mean older brother.
“Is Aiden up yet?” I ask him, knowing there was absolutely know way that he would be up at any hour before 11; hich is actually the reason I haven’t talked to him since I left. He’s never available or awake when I call.
“Uh…let me go check.” As soon as Braden said that I knew exactly what would happen. Aiden was not going to be happy about this.
“AIDEN! AIDEN, WAKE UP!” Braden screamed as I imagined him rushing into the older boys room.
“Get the hell out.” Aiden sleepily yells, probably chucking something at Braden as he does so.
“Its Elle! She wants to talk to you!” Braden informs Aiden, leaving no room for discussion in his convincing little boy ton. “I love you, Elle!”
“I love you too, bud.” I tell him, just as he hands the phone off to my very pissed, still half asleep younger sibling.
“This better be damn good.” Aiden grumbles.
“Don’t swear.” I scold, knowing full well that I’m a major hypocrite.
“I don’t give a crap. What do you want?”
“You look great.” Vanessa tells me as she tosses me a tube of lip gloss. I grab it out of the air and swipe it onto my lips. My phone vibrates, so I pull it out and set the tube onto the table.
12793963075: Hi
Who the heck was texting me now?
“Is something wrong?” Vanessa asks, sounding slightly concerned.
“No, I just got a strange text.” I vaguely reply, quickly typing back a response.
12793963075: It’s Louis
This is not the time for this. I’m five minutes away from going on a date with Zach. I mean friend adventure.
Me: Please don’t talk to me.
You stupid idiot. You’ve been moaning and groaning about him for weeks and you just said that?!
Louis: Just hear me out
Louis: I miss you so much. I can’t think. I can’t sleep. I can barely even eat. You just gave me the summer of my life and then took it all away with a snap of your pretty little fingers. I beg you not to do this to me. Don’t leave me like this. I need you. My life isn’t complete without you. You’re awkward, funny, beautiful, smart, and an excellent artist. I never knew what my heart was missing until it met you. Can’t you see that together we’re better? We’re a team, Elle. I need you as much as you need me. You can try and deny it as much as you want, but we’re better off together. We can make this work. Please make help me make us work.
I dial a number on my phone and press the device to my ear.
“Hey Elle, is there an issue?”
“I’m afraid I can’t keep our plans tonight. Something urgent came up.” I could see Vanessa holding a finger gun to her head as she pretends to shoot herself.
“What the hell are you doing?” she hisses as I hang up.
“Something came up.” I repeat, ignoring her as I go to type a response text. But before I could do that, I had to read his newest message that came in.
Louis. I understand that there’s a thousand miles between us, though it’s not distance that ruins relationships; it’s a lack of trust. I’d never cheat on you. I couldn’t cheat on you if I wanted to. Every time I look at another girl, I compare her to you. No one else can even come close. You’re all I can think about. Your face haunts my thoughts at night, whispering sweet nothings that torment me into tears. I’d trade a thousand hours without you for just one in your presence. I’d quit the band, I’d move to Argentina, or I’d do whatever you wanted if it meant we could be together.