Len wanted to die.
Was this lifestyle worth it? Living in fear and knowing that he was such a monster?
That he could murder a man without a flinch?
That he felt like it was getting more difficult to stop every time his anger was fueled?
Hell no. It wasn't.
Len stared out the window from his hospital bed. He was a few stories high, probably a little higher than the height that Oliver dropped him from. But then again, the many tree branches helped soften the fall.
Oliver. Len didn't want to think of what happened to the younger boy after he helped him escape- it clouded his mind with uncontrollable grief and guilt.
If he fell from that height, would he die?
Instantly without feeling, or painstakingly slow?
Len stared out the window, eyes clouded with deep thought.
Would he even be helping anyone if he continued on like this?
No. Of course not. All he did was cause pain to people he loved. He was selfish for wanting to end it all, for wanting the pain to just end at long last. He wondered how long he could keep it up.
But Gumi and Oliver were waiting on him, and Rin must have heard the news about his arrival.
He couldn't keep them waiting.
He couldn't break Rin's heart. Or his mom's.
He heard a sharp inhale and turned to face the source of the noise, a bit on edge. After all that's happened, he needed to be on edge. It was a habit that'd be hard to break, not that he'd want to anyway.
There, he saw a face he's been longing to see for so long. The face of his twin sister.
"Rin," He said with a soft, tender voice. It almost cracked with emotion, but he made sure his voice stayed strong. "It's been a while."
Her eyes, glimmered with tears, which streamed down her face as she rushed towards Len and pulled him into a tight embrace. He stiffened, then relaxed. He patted her back comfortingly, almost forgetting exactly how to hug.
"D-Dammit, Len! You look so god damn different and- and- you fucking scared me, you little asswipe!" A small smile played at Len's lips. She hasn't changed one bit.
He could stay for a bit longer.
~*~
The moment the Kagamine woke up was the moment the door of what sounded like a cell slammed shut. Len's eyes opened slowly. A constant, high pitched ring and migraine infested his head. A heavy soreness rested in his muscles, making it hard to move. He wondered if it was part of the drug Tei used on him.
He was on the dirty, dirty concrete ground and he sat up, but a wave of dizziness overcame him, forcing him to nearly fall back down. His movements were sluggish and slow. It felt like his limbs were shackled to a heavy weight- the drug hadn't completely worn off, though thankfully, he was starting to regain strength by the minute.
"No! Let me go!"
There was the groan of a metal door opening, from what sounded like the room next to him. There were rusted and aging bars instead of walls, like the bars of a prison, so Len could easily see into the next room. The one closest to him- the one on his right- was where the commotion came from. And Len recognized that outraged, fury-filled voice that he often found directed towards him (he actually found it cute, the way her voice cracked sometimes, but he'd rather die than admit that to anyone) and he immediately tried to stand.
He fell as Miku was pushed into the room next to his. She landed on her the sides of her legs harshly, and Len felt worry. The ground was scratchy, dirty, and rough. Miku must have scraped the skin on her legs, but she showed no indication of pain.
"Miku!" Len called. She turned to look at him, eyes wide. She looked the same as when he last saw her, and he hated that. She shouldn't look like...like she was in a fight. She just shouldn't, at least not to Len.
The door slammed shut. Miku scrambled to the bars, as did Len. Though he or Miku obviously couldn't fit through them, they were wide enough so that they could put their arms through. They were both pressed against the cell bars in an attempt to get as close to each other as possible.
They most likely looked like a couple at the moment, but it's not like either of them cared. Nobody was around to witness, and they were concerned about the other's wellbeing.
Len cupped Miku's face with both hands, while Miku held his right hand with hers. Her left hand was outstretched, resting on the spot where one of Tei's men had stabbed his neck with the syringe.
"Jesus Christ, Miku, are you hurt anywhere else?!" Len croaked. She shook her head, but said nothing. Len examined her face anyways, checking for any additional cuts or bruises or scrapes like a worried parent.
"Fucking hell, this is all my fault..." He muttered under his breath. He was horrified that, already, a loved one had suffered at the hands of someone against Len. It was only a matter of time, he knew. But things were going so well, he forgot that his luck always came back to bite him in the ass when he became comfortable.
"Why are you here? What's going on?" Miku asked, voice trembling slightly. Len had to hand it to her, she was taking it better than expected. He expected her to hate him, to flinch away from his touch, to scream and yell at him and tell him it's his fault. That's what he was used to, not that he could blame them.
But Miku did none of that. Instead, she held his hand as if she held onto dear life and pressed herself against the bars in an attempt to get closer to him. She shed no tears nor screamed or spat out any insults or curses, but instead only had the slightest tremble to her voice.
"I..."
"You can't tell me that you'll explain later, Kagamine." Miku told him with a sort of desperate look. "This is...huge. I have to know what's going on so I can help."
"Help?" Len repeated. "I can't risk you getting hurt. You have no idea what kind of shithole I've dug myself, and what kind of pitiful excuse for a human being I am. I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you."
Miku sighed and dropped her hand from his neck, leaning against the bars in defeat. Len dropped his hands from her cheeks, but he still held her smaller hand tightly. "I know that this is dangerous, and that I'm no superhero that can fight amazingly. But how can I live with myself knowing that you're in trouble and I can't help? If I can't fight, then let me be your support. Let me help you. But if I'm in the dark, if I don't know what's going on and what to do, I can't help as much as I could."
Len sighed, vaguely swayed by Miku's statement. Yes, she made a point. She earned his trust long ago. It wasn't that he feared her getting found out by his enemies, since they've already found her. But instead, it was because that he was terrified that she'd view him as a monster, as a horrible and twisted criminal. Len feared that the most.
After all, it hurt seeing someone you love look at you with horror and disgust in their eyes, like you're a maniacal tyrant that has a special spot in hell.
Len knew that he was a maniacal tyrant that had a special spot in hell, contrary to what God had told him, but he didn't want Miku to find that out.
"You don't understand," Len told her. He stared at the hard, filthy ground under him. "I can't handle if you were to...to hate me because of what I've done. We need you. I- I need you. You're family." It was out of character for Len to outwardly blurt his true feelings out, especially if they were ones that confessed his affection. But it was a tender moment, a rare, scarce moment where Len Kagamine was vulnerable.
Miku paused, letting his sincere and soft-spoken words sink in for a moment, and her heart softened and overflowed with an emotion too strong for her to fully identify. Miku squeezed his hand reassuringly and turned slightly, reaching through the bars with her other hand to place her hand on the side of Len's face. He had a nasty cut in that area, but nonetheless, he closed his eyes and leaned into her touch.
"I can't ever hate you, Kagamine." She told him. "No matter what you've done. I could never bring myself to hate you. You've done too much for me. You worried unnecessarily for me, protected me from horny creeps, comforted me during dark hours, and you've always managed to make my day brighter just by being nearby. How can I ever do so much as dislike you?"
Len was quiet. Then, he said,
"Jeez, getting all sappy and lovey-dovey already?"
Miku cracked a smile. She knew that Len was starting to get back to his old self, just a little, for her sake.
"Oh, shut up. Don't make me regret saying that." Miku said with an eyeroll. Len let out a soft chuckle.
"You're nothing like how I imagined you'd be." He admitted. Miku raised her eyebrows, not that Len could see. They were back to back against the bar wall with their fingers still intertwined, heads resting against the wall between them. Had there been no barrier, their heads would be resting against each other.
"And how's that, Kagamine?"
~*~
Len used to be the social kind of guy. Obviously, that part of Len was long gone. Most of what Len was had been cruelly taken by his captors, beaten out of him and viciously, mercilessly erased.
Naturally, when Len saw the rather pretty girl in the room, he didn't know exactly what to do.
It was dumb, really. It was just another person, why did he need to treat her any differently?
He looked at her, instead on focusing on who the mystery girl was, suspicious that she may be an enemy in disguise.
She had teal hair, obviously dyed, that were up in twin tails. She looked a bit awkward standing there, hands clasped together and eyes wandering around the room. Her eyes were bluer than her hair- they looked like they had some green in them. Or were they green, but had some blue in them? Her eyes were confusing to Len. It was as if the sky and the grass had a child, or as if someone fused a sapphire and an emerald together. Maybe a diamond and a jade would better resemble the color of her eyes? Or-
Len found himself off track and thinking about the mystery girl's stunning eyes, and grew irritated with himself. He wasn't here to marvel over Miss Universe's eyes.
She was skinny- she didn't look like she could be a threat. But looks can easily deceive, and underestimation is a person's most effective weapon.
She didn't exactly look like the cold-blooded killer type either, but again, he had to keep the thought that everything isn't what it seems to be in his mind. She kind of resembled the nice, yet awkward girl that was basically a guy-magnet.
"Who's she?" Len finally asked. Rin paused to turn and look at the girl. Rin smiled brightly at her.
"That's Miku. She's my friend. Well, probably one of my only friends. All my other friends drifted apart from each other, until Miku transferred to Crypton high a few months ago." Rin answered. The girl jumped slightly when she heard her name.
Len knew how much Rin depended on her friends. Some of her best friends must have drifted apart, too. Len felt a twinge of gratitude that the girl kept her company, and she didn't exactly seem as suspicious as when he first laid eyes on her. Until she did something to raise his suspicions, maybe she was an alright person. Maybe.
"Ah, I see. Thank you for looking after her. I'm Len." The girl- Miku- nodded.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Len." Her voice was soft and smooth, and she offered a shiny, pearly white smile. Her voice was full of kindness, confirming Len's thought that she was indeed the awkward nice girl. Len didn't exactly know what to do in the moment, so he looked away from the pretty sight.
A small smile twitched at his lips for a split second.
Miku, he mused. What a pretty name for a pretty girl.
~*~
"Uh..."
"What? What'd you think I'd be like?"
"I dunno. Nice and awkward? Definitely not the type to curse like a sailor, that's for sure." Len replied. Miku snorted.
"Shut up, dumbass. I'm a pretty nice person. Unlike someone I know." Len chuckled.
"Oh, come on, you lov-"
The door to Len and Miku's cell creaked open, the loud, sharp, sudden noise forcing Len to stop mid-sentence. The men marched in both of their cells, but neither Len or Miku let go. They both tightened their grip on each other's hand.
Wordlessly, a man tried to tear Len away from Miku, but he refused to let go of her hand. "Let me the fuck go, bastard!" Len snarled. Miku's hand was torn away from his when the guard in her cell grabbed her arm and roughly pulled her away from him.
"Get your god damned filthy hands off of her!" He roared. A guard pulled him up by his arm, but Len violently shook it off, giving him a cold glare.
"Do you want to do this the easy way, or the hard way?" The guard grumbled with a glare. "Not just for you, but for your friend over there, too." Len's hands curled into fists.
"Fuck you." He spat. The guard glared and struck Len across the face in an instant. Miku let out an anguished yell from the other room, as if she had been struck instead of Len.
Len looked back at him, spitting out the blood that had accumulated in his mouth due to the hard hit that had been delivered. "Can't do a thing, can you? Not while your girlfriend's in danger, can you?"
"You idiot! We have orders not to hurt him unless he resists!" The one in the next room shouted. "Just hurry up, take them to him. We haven't got all day." The guard grumbled under his breath.
"Oh, fine. Let's go. We're going on a little trip, you and I." The last thing Len saw was the man's toothy grin before a black bag covered his head.
~*~
When the bag was pulled off of Len's head, he was in front of a door. Nothing fancy. It was just a plain white door. The hallways were white, and the tiles made of what looked like marble. The guard unlocked the cuffs he put Len in halfway there and opened the door before shoving him inside. Miku quickly followed.
Len caught Miku when she was pushed into the room with him, instantly pulling her into a bone-crushing embrace. Miku hugged him back, burying her face in his shoulder- the one that wasn't wounded, that is.
Len exhaled, his breath shaking so little that someone almost wouldn't notice. He closed his eyes and just held her, and she didn't really mind.
"Did they do anything else to you?" He asked quietly. He felt her shake her head.
"N-No..." She whispered. "They didn't."
"Good."
They stayed in each other's embrace for a few more minutes before deciding to pull away. Len took a look around the room. It was like the one in his dream, only there was no throne. But other than that, everything was blindingly white.
And, in the corner, was the same man in the dream. He looked the same, only there was no collar or chain on him. He sat in the corner, head down, blonde hair shielding his face from view.
Len stood in front of Miku, arm out and holding her back from getting any closer to the strange man.
"Hey. Who are you?" Len asked. The man jolted, as if he was surprised by Len's sudden question. His head tilted up, just a bit, but not enough for Len to see his face.
"Kagamine..." He muttered. "Len...?" To say Len was tensed was an understatement. He didn't know this man, but the man knew him. Len didn't know if he was hostile or friendly, but either way, he was on edge.
"Yeah, and?"
The man let out a breathy chuckle and looked up at him. His hair covered most of his face, but Len could see piercing red eyes looking straight at him. Unlike the popular belief that the face of evil has red eyes, the man's eyes showed no negativity at all. Instead, they were filled with shock and fondness for reasons left unknown to Len.
Then he began to stand, using the wall as support. He nearly fell when he stood, but he managed to stay on his feet.
"You've grown...so much, Len..." He shuffled towards him. Len stiffened and pushed Miku back gently.
"Don't come any closer."
"Why are you here? You're not supposed to be here. You're supposed to be at home, with everyone else..." He continued to come closer.
"Who the hell are you? Answer me!"
"You don't belong here, Dumpling." Len froze, not because he was confused by the strange and sudden name that wasn't even close to his real one. Only one person called him that. But it couldn't be that person. It was impossible.
"W-Who are you?"
"You know who I am." The man stopped. He was right in front of Len. He looked up and smiled at him. Len felt like his heart stopped in that moment. He recognized that face. It was a face he hasn't seen in years. With a sense of disbelief, Len choked out,
"Dad?"
ayo ayo ayo wassup
i'm back and i'M NOT LATE, GO ME!
so as you guys can see, this is chapter 1 and it's veeeryy long with lots of LenKu :)))
lol i hoped you guys enjoyed the premiere of Determined.
Comments/reviews are greatly appreciated, hopefully all the readers who enjoyed Hardened are currently present?
anyways, i'mma sign out now, hope you guys enjoyed it~~
ciao~