Lauren POV
My knees were weak, my feet were dragging, my shoulders were hunched. Since when did walking home become such a difficult task? If time ever stopped, it would've been right then as I made no headway in approaching my neighbourhood, or so I thought.
I watched my feet as I dragged them across the jagged concrete sidewalk, internally telling myself that I can make it home without falling to my knees, too weak to continue on. Without self-recognition, I made it to the front door step, still able to proceed up the stairs to my room. My parents were in the living room and saw me come in.
"Hey Lauren, how was school?", my dad said not looking up from the newspaper he was reading in his favourite armchair. I had no response for him, so I just threw myself up the stairs, internally telling myself that I was almost to my bed.
This day had drained me physically and emotionally, and hopefully with a little rest, I will feel a little less like shit and talk to Camila. If she thinks about me like I hope she does, she may be worried about me. But my body will not allow me to tell her what's actually happening in fear of rejection and disgust. If I even begin to think about telling her about me, it would have to be a while from now if she made herself trustworthy to me, and if she proves she wants to stay.
Stumbling onto the last step, I gripped the railing and stretched my back out straight as I had realised upon that action that I was slouching.
"Finally", I whispered opening my bedroom door and throwing myself on my bed, releasing a squeak from the mattress while I bounced on it waiting for my body to settle. With everything I had been through today, I knew I had worked up a stink, physically and mentally. But I could only tend to one of those at this point in time. I took a deep breath and sighed thinking about the amount of nonexistent energy I had to exert to perform this simple, everyday task. As my feet were hanging off of my bed, I raised them above my head in order to gain momentum to get myself off the bed. It took a few tries to get up but once I did, I was unstoppable.
I made this action a quick one as I just wanted to get to sleep. I quickly stripped and rush into the shower, not even waiting for it to warm up a bit. The severity of desperation there was uncanny. I stood under the shower head just letting the water run over my skin and hair, replaying the scenes of today, trying to wash away my everlasting guilt with it.
Suddenly my mind ran to Camila. What an awkward time to think about her. How we only just met and yet I feel like we've been friends forever, and can tell each other anything. If only. My thought tracked from thinking about her personality and how addicting it could become, straight to her physical stature. The way her hair effortlessly flows down her shoulders in waves, the smile that make people turn and stare, the way she bites her lip when she concentrates. all these little things could make anyone fall in love with her.
My mind was relentless in making me think about this girl. Anything I did aided in my reoccurrence in my mind. The longer I thought about her, the more inappropriate the thoughts became. It slowly drifted to me carefully focusing on her body.
If she looked that good with clothes on, imagine how she'd look if she di....
My thoughts were interrupted with a surge of heat shooting through my lower region. The longer I left it, the more burning the desire to release the urge became. I couldn't do this. I closed my eyes and walked backwards so that my back was against the cold tile of the shower wall. My eyes were closed so tightly as I tried to push everything out of my mind. With all of the indications that my body was waiting for this release, I knew I had to fight back.
I gripped myself hoping this urge would subside. It took all of me to not just go through with it, but I didn't want to have to think about her that way. It would make our actual face-to-face conversations very awkward for me.
It took all of the remaining strength I had to fight this immense craving. Once I settled after my victory with biology, I was definitely drained. I was too tired to even put clothes on, so I just went straight to bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow, my eyes were feeling too heavy to even try to resist it.
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Camila POV
"Mija, time to wake up, you have to get ready for school", my mum said in a whisper, shaking my arm so I'd wake up faster.
"Mmmm I don't want to", I say with a playful pout and bury my head under my pillow. My mum let out a little chuckle and got up from my bed.
"Okay mija, five more minutes", she said leaving my room. God I love that woman. She really comes through for me sometimes. I gave her no response but I smiled into my pillow silently thanking her.
Suddenly, all I thought about was Lauren, then all of my reasons to go to school presented themselves and I shot up out of bed. I quickly got ready being very careful to wear an extra cute outfit for her. Looking at myself in the mirror, my mind began to wonder.
"Lauren you better your ass to school today or else I would've done all of this...for nothing", I say to my reflection pointing at myself. Quickly snapping out of my conversation with myself, I rush downstairs and ran straight out the door, skipping breakfast. I'm beginning to make a habit out of not spending much time with my family anymore. Mainly because school is consuming me.
"Bye guys I'll see you tonight", I yell running through the front door and onto the lawn. I can drive but I prefer to walk to school. It's a good way to clear your head before and after a long day of learning.
I slow down my pace as I make it to my street. I walked in utter silence admiring the beauty that is mother nature. Letting the chirp of birds consume my mind, all of my issues slowly washed away, only to return when I come back to reality. A low roaring broke me out of my appreciation for earth.
"Um, hey Camila, you need a ride to school?", I didn't have to look to my left to see who it was. You could pick that voice out anywhere. Well at least I could. The amount of relief that shot through my veins signifying that she was okay and was in fact going to school today, was unimaginable. Even though I saw guilt in her eyes as she looked at me, I couldn't help but feel a little bit of anger towards her for just leaving me yesterday.
I didn't reply to her, I just turned away from her and kept walking on my way. I quickened my pace as I was on foot and she was in a car. She tried to meet my pace, which took no effort whatsoever, where as I was putting in a lot of energy to get away when all I really want to do is get in her car so she could take me.
"Camila, come on, I'm sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean to make you upset", she said stopping the car, barely above a whisper that I still seemed to make out above her roaring engine, with a guilt-wrenched tone. I slowed down slightly but kept walking. I began to feel a twinge of sympathy and slowed my walk down to a stop. When I turned, I saw her manoeuvring to get out of the car. She quickly slammed the car door and rushed out to me.
"I'm really sorry Camila, about yesterday. I just...got really overwhelmed about something and I had to get out of there", she said only looking me in the eyes with utter sorrow. She raised her hand up and caressed my cheek with the pad of her thumb.
"I hope that you could forgive me?", she said with worry in her eyes and putting her other hand on my waist pulling me closer to her. Before I could get a word out, she quickly pulled me into her for a hug. She squeezed me so tightly I thought I might break. The smell of her hair caused an involuntarily closing of eyes.
Her hug just made me feel safe.
"So, are you going to answer or are you just going to get in my car with me?", she asked pulling away with a smirk on her face, like she knew either way she was going to get what she wanted. Anything she ever did just made me smile. I grabbed her upper arm and rubbed it.
"Come on, we have school to get to", I said smiling and pulling her to her car. I could've sworn I heard her murmur a 'yes' to herself but I let it slide. When we settled in, she started the car and pulled onto the road. She enveloped her hand in mine, intertwining our fingers and running her thumb along the side of my hand; never taking her eyes off of the road. I couldn't help but smile at what she did. The slightest thing she did made her so cute.
"You look extra cute today by the way", she said not looking away from the road. I couldn't say anything, I was too nervous.
Butterflies fluttered their wings in my stomach as she continued her actions. I was a little startled by my reaction to her playing with my hand. I pushed that feeling down and just enjoyed the comfortable silence while it lasted.