Janet
Morning came so soon, and I was still tired. I would guess we only got about 3 hours of sleep between the two of us; the sun was already rising when I felt my eyes get heavy and Toni snuggled herself into my chest after a few more rounds. It was too bright to try to doze off again. After freshening up a little, she shut her blinds, we both got right back into bed and did something we hadn't done a whole lot of since we reconnected, and that was talk. There were no bitter emotions, no grudges to be held; everything was fair game, like old times.
"So what's really going on between you and Kenny?" I was laying on my back, just looking up at the ceiling. Toni was in a similar fashion, only her head was propped up on my stomach.
"I don't know, nothing, I guess." She shrugged.
"Oh, it's something, Toni. Spill. You two were about to knock the boots before I came in last night."
"I swear on my momma forehead we weren't. I'll admit we were fooling around a little, but then, I stopped it." She blushed.
"Why? Kenny's cute. You don't like him?"
"He's cool, but he's just like a brother to me, and it all happened so fast-"
"What happened so fast?"
"That day, when I left your house to meet him at the studio, he invited me there to confess his feelings for me."
"And...?" If I was in a chair, I'd be on the edge of it. Though I wasn't usually one for drama, It had been a while since I got some good tea. It made me feel younger in a sense.
"He tried to kiss me, I dodged it, and I left. I don't like him, Jan. Honestly. And it all happened like that-" she snapped her fingers.
"It didn't look like that when you were half naked with him standing in the driveway last night." I squinted my eyes and looked down at her. She closed her own eyes and sighed in what looked like regret. I laughed.
"After you left, I had a couple of drinks. Invited him over to talk about what happened, and next thing you know he was looking kind of good to me. So I went for it."
"So what made you stop? Did he try to grab your cooch or something?" We were both smiling and laughing, but soon hers faded.
"Do you want the honest truth?" All of a sudden she wouldn't look at me, and I grew concerned.
"Always. What happened, Ton?"
"I thought about you."
Silence filled the air. I didn't have anything to say. But I couldn't leave her hanging. It clearly took a whole lot out of her to say that.
"You were?"
Toni got up and lay on her side. My stomach felt cold, but the rest of me was hot with that feeling of, 'this is getting really fucking serious.'
"Yeah. I mean, he was touching me, and I just wanted it to be you. And it didn't feel right, Jan. I can't explain it."
"I think I understand what you're trying to say."
She took her spot back on my stomach, relaxing again. We didn't talk anymore about him. I don't know why it was so awkward.
"Jan?"
"Hm?"
"I wanna ask you something."
"Yes?"
"What about Wissam?"
Toni
Janet didn't say anything for a really, really long time. I looked up at her to see where her attention was; she was just looking straight ahead, chewing on the inside of her cheek. I knew this was a messy situation, but it had to be addressed at some point.
"Did you hear me, Jan?" I asked one more time.
"Yeah, Toni. I did. And to answer your question... I don't know."
"Is he coming back? Aren't you going to see him?"
"In about a week, yeah."
"So... what's gonna happen? Are you gonna tell him?"
"Are you kidding? Of course not."
She didn't seem so sure of her response.
"What are we going to do?"
"I just need time... to figure it all out. I don't-I don't know." She shook her head and closed her eyes. I took one of her hands and held it in mine.
I didn't want to push it, but it involved me too. Something had to be done.
"I don't want it to get too ugly, so-"
A phone started to ring. It was hers. She ran to get it from her jeans pocket on the floor, and the look on her face said it all once she saw the caller I.D.
"Speak of the devil," she mumbled with a sigh. "I'm sorry, Toni, I gotta take this." Janet rushed outside the door and shut it behind her. Being the nosy little bitch that I am, I followed and put my ear to the door to hear the conversation.
"Yeah, when does your flight get in?" I heard her say. A pause. "Okay... Well let me know so I can be home when you get there... I know I miss you too... Nothing's wrong, baby, I promise... I'm at a friend's house right now. I gotta go, Wissam. I love you. Bye."
I quietly rushed back to my spot, and she opened the door back moments later.
Why did my stomach drop when she referred to me as just a 'friend'? Why did my body get hot when she called him 'baby'? When she said, 'I love you'? Why was I wishing she would say those things to... to me?
I knew exactly why, and it was at that moment that I knew I had fallen in some really deep shit. It was getting really fucking serious.
So... short chapter? Maybe. Ion know. But two chapters in a week? Fuck yeah. That's real dedication. But Y'all are about to flip your shit in the next week, that's what I do know. 😛