Theodore & the Bridge Miscalculation
(17 years old)
"Oh shit!" Felix called out, watching as his blunt slipped through his fingers over the edge of the bridge.
"That was still half a blunt, dude!" I said, throwing my head back in laughter. "That fucking sucks."
"Give me a hit of yours, dude."
I blew out a puff of smoke, shaking my head. "I'm almost out. Just roll another."
"How in the hell did you end up with five grams, bro?"
"My mom still gives me an allowance. Can't complain, she funds my weed account."
Oliver came ambling over, his blunt dangling from his mouth.
"Where the fuck did you go?" I asked, dealing my arms on the bridge edge. "We looked for you."
"Took a piss, enjoyed the view."
"Of the piss?" Felix asked, and I cracked up all over again.
"You two have had way over your limit."
"Okay, dad," I dragged out, before taking another hit.
"You done for the night?" Oliver asked Felix.
"He dropped his blunt over the edge," I said, peering down below. "Tragic really."
"Did it still have weed?"
"Yeah," Felix said, with a drawn-out sigh.
"So are you jumping or what?"
"Fuck no."
"He has a point," I said, twirling my blunt around. "Stick the landing and I'm sure it's just right there."
"Among the rocks you stoned motherfucker."
To be fair, I'd started smoking like way before the two of them today. And I was feeling good.
"You pussy ass," I said, shoving my blunt at him. "Finish this off, I'll rescue yours."
"You think you can stick the landing stoned?" Oliver questioned.
"Jesus, are you always like this? I've already got one dad up my ass, I don't need another."
"Just checking, bro."
I clambered up onto the bridge, taking a moment to steady myself.
This was a lot higher than I remembered it to be, fuck.
"You good up there, bro?" Felix asked.
"Just peachy."
I squinted down below, recognizing my usual landing spot void of rocks.
And with that I jumped.
Except my judgment was apparently off, because my knee rammed directly into the rock I was trying to avoid.
I let out a loud groan, clutching my knee as I rolled over in agony.
Fuck that hurt.
"Theo, hey man, you good?" Oliver's voice asked, fairly close.
"I don't know, man."
My voice sounded oddly far away.
"Oh, dude, that's gross," Felix's voice said. "Fuck."
"Okay, um, just breathe. I'll figure this out," Oliver promised.
I cracked one of my eyes open, glancing down at the knee I was cradling.
That didn't look right.
"Dude, that's weird," I said, my eyes widening a bit. "Does your knee look like that?"
"Uh, no," Oliver said, shaking his head.
My knee was displaced, already turning a blackish-blue color.
"I think I'm going to be sick," I announced.
"Don't do that," Felix ordered. He climbed up into the rocks, returning a few moments later with a blunt. "Smoke this."
And so I did, trying to calm my nerves and relieve the agonizing pain coursing through my body.
"Think you can sit up?" Oliver asked me.
I finished off the blunt, tossing it aside. I closed my eyes a few moments, letting the weed seep through my body.
"Kay."
Oliver pulled me vertical and I leaned over and vomited next to him.
"I'm gonna be sick," Felix announced.
"My knee hurts."
"We're gonna need to get you to the hospital, bro, like ASAP."
"No," I declined. "No I'm not doing that. My parents cannot know about this."
"Theo, your knee is dislocated man," Felix said, his eyes sweeping me. "You have to get it taken care of."
"Get me back to the cabin," I ordered. "I'll knock out tonight and I swear to you it'll look ten times better in the morning."
"I don't think-" Oliver started.
"If my parents find out that I'm still smoking they'll disown me," I stressed. "Take me back to the cabin."
And so Oliver helped me up to my feet again, ignoring my constant groans of pain.
I looped my arms around Oliver and Felix and hobbled my way back to the car, panting my way through the pain.
In. Out. In. Out.
"Theo you're not looking so hot," Felix said.
"My leg is going to fucking fall off, how am I supposed to feel?" I snapped.
I sprawled out across the backseat, my chest heaving as I clutched my knee.
"Rolling you a blunt as we speak," Felix said, taking passenger as Oliver took driver.
That wasn't his speciality, it was mine. But I appreciated the effort.
Felix got it started for me before passing it back. "I used the good stuff, bro."
"You're welcome," Oliver added.
I just closed my eyes. At this point I should be on Cloud Fucking Nine.
I was a little hazy when we got back to the cabin, Oliver and Felix practically hauling me into the cabin.
Oliver had built it for his wood shop final on his dad's property last year, but his dad was never home. So we hung out here to get away from everyone and everything. And had just the right amount of privacy to do so.
Oliver disappeared while I lied out on a sleeping bag, propping my knee up on another rolled up sleeping bag.
"Have you ever thought about all of the tiny, living particles around you right now?" I asked Felix.
"Nah, bro."
"They're in the wood. And the air. And the dirt on the floor. It's fucking insane man."
"Get some sleep, Theo."
Oliver came back with an ice pack, probably from his dad's place. "It's gonna be cold, you okay with that?"
I couldn't help but laugh as the cold sensation touched my throbbing knee. "Whoa, man, that's like total opposite. Like the Sun and the moon or something."
Oliver chuckled, taking a seat next to me. "Yeah, something like that. You feeling good?"
"So great."
"Good. Want a beer?"
"Nah, man, I'm living the high life right now. Alcohol will only bring me back down."
"Okay well try and get some sleep," Oliver encouraged. "I'll text your parents and let them know you're crashing here."
"You know what? You guys are the best."
Felix laughed at that.
"Nah, man, I'm so serious. Listen. Without you guys I don't know what I'd be doing. You guys are so good."
"Okay, Theo," Oliver said , squeezing my shoulder. "We're good, bro. We think only the best of you too. Get some shut eye."
"You guys will stay here?"
"Right here."
And that's the last thing I remember before drifting off to sleep.
~*~
I woke up to agonizing pain as the Sun shone directly on my face.
I let out a groan, moving to shield my eyes.
"Morning, bro."
I cracked open an eye to see Oliver sitting with his back against the wall, a book in hand.
"Am I dead?"
"Not quite."
"Kill me now then, I think I'm dying."
He tossed me a bottle of ibuprofen. "Bottle of water next to you."
I managed to drink it lying down, a skill set on my part.
"Theo, I hate to break it to you, man, but you're screwed."
I glanced down at my knee, my stomach twisting into knots.
If I thought last night was bad then today is ten times worse.
My knee was fully black-and-blue, swollen to three times its normal size.
"I fucked up," I said.
"Felix ran out to piss, but we need to take you home, man."
My parents were going to murder me.
Once Felix was back, the two of them helped me hobble out to the car which was much, much more difficult without any drugs in my system.
So. Much. Pain.
I could barely breathe on the car ride back to my place, my chest heaving as I tried to collect myself through the throbbing.
My dad's car was parked at the house when we pulled up, meaning that he had the responsibility and enjoyment of waiting for me to turn up today.
"Well at least your dad is easier to deal with than your mom," Felix offered.
They had no fucking idea.
I hobbled my way to the front door, leaning on Oliver as I fumbled around for my front door key.
And then I fucking dropped it.
"You've got some shit luck lately," Felix commented.
But before I had the chance to try and retrieve it, the front door clicked open to reveal my dad.
He was wearing a white t-shirt and a pair of jeans, signaling that he'd already showered and had been awaiting my arrival.
"And the prodigal son returns home," he announced, with a flat look.
And then his eyes zeroed in on my knee.
"Hey there, Pops," I greeted, with a tight smile.
Dad was silent for a few moments, his Adam's apple bobbing. "Come out to my car," he said, quietly. "I'll grab my keys."
I expected so much worse.
I hobbled out to the car with the help of Oliver and Felix.
"Want us to come?" Oliver asked, as I clambered into the passenger seat of my dad's Mercedes SUV.
"No," I said, with a crooked smile. "You guys have already done more than enough for me. And trust me when I say you don't want to stick around for this."
I saluted my friends goodbye as my dad hopped into the driver's seat.
The ride to the Emergency Room was painstakingly silent.
"Wait here, I'll grab a wheelchair," dad said, parking the car.
I wish he'd just yell at me and get it over with. My dad wasn't one to raise his voice that often, but as of lately everything had been shit between us.
I was listed as a priority patient, apparently a dislocated knee was something of importance.
"Need I ask?" dad asked me, as we sat together in the waiting room.
"Stupid decision. Failed home treatment. Nothing that should come of shock to you. I am the family fuck-up, right?"
Dad let out a long sigh, running his hand down his face. "No, Theo, you're not."
"Surprising."
"Theo, your knee is in bad shape. This isn't something you can fuck around with. You should've come to me, come to us."
"Why?" I challenged. "So I could hear, yet again, another lecture as to how and why I'm such a screw-up?"
"Well can you blame us? When your kid is out stoned all night and comes home in the morning without his car, no wallet, and a vague idea of where he's been, it's a bit called for don't you think?"
"That was one time."
"The time you didn't come home for an entire weekend and your mother had to call the police to bring you home?"
"An overreaction."
My dad hummed, nodding as though he was agreeing, which I knew it was pure sarcasm. "And the time you skipped your AP Physics Exam to get stoned?"
"It's not like I would've passed it anyways."
"Not only is your track record astounding, but so is your noncommittal attitude to admitting any wrongdoing on your part."
I didn't answer, the two of us resorting to sitting in silence until my name was called back.
I was taken back for X-rays to determine that my knee was indeed dislocated.
I was given a series of painkillers for the relocation to take place, and I found my head sinking into my pillow, my eyelids drooping shut.
"Your mother is closing up now for lunch, she's headed this way," dad informed me.
I just hummed in agreement. "You have such a fatherly voice. Do you work on that? Or does it just come with the gig?"
He chuckled at that. "I practice in the mirror."
"Thought so."
"How're you feeling, kid?"
"Doped up." I held my fingers out in front of my face, spreading them out. "All ten, not seeing double."
"Well that's good."
"You ever wonder what life would be like with, I don't know, eleven fingers or something?" I questioned.
"Can't say that I have."
"Well you should think about it, dad. That would be totally crazy."
Dad just ruffled my hair, letting out a sigh. "Just take it easy there, champ."
"You haven't done that since I was a kid."
"Yeah, well you still are my kid."
The physician came in, his paperwork in hand.
"What's up, Doc?" I asked, imitating Bugs Bunny.
The physician offered me a smile, tossing my paperwork on the table. "How're you feeling?"
"Like a million bucks."
"I'm going to go ahead and relocate your knee now. I see it's been dislocated for some time, there's more than likely some ligament damage, though your arteries and nerves seem to be in working condition. Once the swelling has gone down we'll give you a referral for an orthopedist."
"Sounds cool, man."
He chuckled at that but my dad nodded. "Understood."
"Alright, you ready to do this?"
I felt a surge of fear seize my chest, and I glanced over at my dad.
My dad reached over, taking my hand and squeezing it for support. "Breathe."
I closed my eyes as the doctor popped my knee back into place in one swift motion, causing me to let out a quick screech of pain.
"Are you okay?" dad asked me, his eyes searching mine.
"Yeah," I said, breathlessly. "I'm okay."
The doctor talked to my dad about home instructions as I let my eyes slip shut.
And then I heard the room door open and turned to see my mom coming in.
"Theodore Adams, you had me so worried," she said, squeezing my cheeks between her hands as she planted kisses on my forehead.
"Love you, ma."
"You damn well better. I never, ever want a phone call telling me my son is in the ER again, so you understand me?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Let him get some rest, Naomi," dad said, tugging her away. "He knocked up on painkillers and they just finished the reduction less than five minutes ago."
"We're not done here," my mom ordered, placing one last kiss on the top of my head before joining my dad across the room.
I faded in and out of consciousness for a little while until my knee was throbbing too much for me to continue sleeping.
I rolled my head over to call out to my mom, but caught the tail end of her conversation instead.
"-too stressful Lee. I can't keeping living my nights like this, wondering if he's going to come home or not."
"It's a stage, Naomi. We all went through one as a teenager."
"It's destructive behavior, Lee. It started with skipping school and getting bad grades and now we've escalated to jumping off bridges and disappearing for nights at a time. We see this in our practice all the time, right before the arrests or the drugs. He's already smoking marijuana and we let that go. What's next?"
"We're not going to compare our son to our patients."
"When does it all become too much?"
Having heard enough, I made a fake yawning noise, as though I was waking up.
"Ma?"
"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty," she said, making her way back to my hospital bed. "They're working on your discharge papers now."
I glanced down at my knee, which had been encased in a straight leg brace. And it hurt.
"What is this?" I asked, letting my head fall back down.
"It's to keep your knee from dislocating again and to help all the surrounding tissues start to heal."
"It hurts," I groaned. "Take it off."
My mom brushed my hair away from my forehead, taking a seat next to me. "They're giving you a prescription for pain killers. As soon as I get it I'll leave to get it filled."
I glanced over at her and I couldn't help but hear what she said about me, the pain in her voice as she spoke.
"Hey, ma?"
She nodded, offering me a warm smile.
"I love you, you know that right?"
"Of course, Theodore. As I love you."
I was uncomfortable when anyone but my mother called me Theodore. When she did, it was either out of anger or love.
"I'm sorry for disappointing you."
"Just relax, okay?"
Maybe it was the drugs talking or maybe it was me. But either way I never wanted to be the one to cause that kind of anguish in my mother again.
And so I vowed to make a change. Starting tomorrow. Because today I just too damn worn out.