'Cause I've done some things that I can't speak
And I've tried to wash you away
But you just won't leave
So won't you take a breath and dive in deep
'Cause I came here so you'd come for me
I'm begging you to keep on haunting
-Halsey / Haunting
☼
Hong Fa opened cabinet after bare cabinet, his brow furrowed. He Tian had remained close by after Hong Fa had slid off of his lap. It had been quite obvious that He Tian had been turned on by their kissing. Hell, Hong Fa had been turned on, he just had no clue how to move further. That and they still had several things to discuss.
"Watch your head," Hong Fa instructed as he closed the cabinets. "This would probably be simpler if you sat down and got out of my way."
He Tian gave Hong Fa's hair a playful tug, but used the close proximity to kiss Hong Fa's temples. Hong Fa's cheeks reddened considerably.
"Just curious, Carrot Head. What can you make from a bag of outdated rice and a can of tomato purée?" He Tian pursed his lips, reopening a cabinet and running a finger over the dusty inside.
Hong Fa sheepishly scratched at his head, "Uh, what if I buy take away? My last paycheck from you paid our bills and my mother paid for groceries, but... it's the end of the month again so we're, uh, really tight on funds and-"
Hong Fa moved to check the nearly empty refrigerator again. He Tian of course might be used to having empty cupboards just because he didn't know what to fill them with. But He Tian always had the funds, always had money for food.
An arm curled around Hong Fa's waist, pulling him away from the fridge and against He Tian. The taller boy was looking at Hong Fa with a look that could only be one of concern. It was a rare look on a the generally smug face.
"What do you do if you aren't eating with me and you don't have groceries?"
"I don't eat or I eat what I can," Hong Fa mumbled, refusing to meet He Tian's gaze. It was wildly embarrassing to him. "It's been that way for years now, so-"
"What if," He Tian interjected. "I take you to buy groceries?"
"I don't think I have enough for groceries."
"That's why I'll be buying them, idiot. Use your carrot brain."
Hong Fa abruptly pulled away, "He Tian, no. I won't let you do that, you can't treat me like a some sort of charity case. We don't take handouts."
"Not for you then, but for me," He Tian pressed, reaching again for Hong Fa. Hong Fa struggled to think clearly when He Tian was touching him. "You wouldn't want to starve me would you?"
"There's plenty of food at your apartment."
He Tian slipped closer and closer, pressing their foreheads together, and Hong Fa was already searching out He Tian's lips with his own, but He Tian simply chuckled, "What about when I visit here? Can I keep food here for when I visit?"
"No," Hong Fa managed to breathe, and He Tian laughed.
"Stubborn bastard. Not many people get away with telling me no."
He Tian brushed his lips once against Hong Fa's, and Hong Fa reddened once more, "Yeah but I see you for the weak fucker that you really are."
"Weak, hmm?" He Tian hummed. He released Hong Fa finally, gingerly fixing the bandage on his busted knuckles, and then he was exiting the kitchen. Hong Fa frowned.
"Where are you going?" The sound of the front door opening was the only answer, and Hong Fa stalked after the dark haired boy. "He Tian-"
"I'm getting you groceries and you can't stop me."
Hong Fa scowled, "I'll kick your ass if you do, He Tian, I swear."
"If you don't come with me I'll just be obligated to buy anything I see. I'm not decent at shopping."
The redhead blanched, but knew He Tian wasn't joking. He would most definitely buy far more than necessary.
"Fuck you."
"Eventually, I'm hoping," He Tian replied pleasantly. "Grab your jacket."
Hong Fa swore again. But he grabbed his jacket and keys and followed a beaming He Tian out the front door, locking it behind him.
☼
We could save each other.
There wasn't much left that could be done to save He Tian, truthfully. But he could still protect Hong Fa. It was far too late to try to cut Hong Fa out of his life without hurting both of them as a result. Hong Fa could help He Tian by keeping him sane.
Sane enough. Hong Fa certainly made him feel emotions he tried to avoid; fear, guilt, sorrow. Learning that Hong Fa skipped meals because of low funds made He Tian's chest ache in a way he refused to admit. Instead, he forced Hong Fa into letting him buy as much as possible.
"Bread?"
"Fine."
"Broccoli, carrots, celery..."
"Fine..."
"Egg custard tarts."
"No. Put them back."
He Tian got them anyway. He ended up spending more on Hong Fa than he had himself, but he wouldn't let Hong Fa see the price that it all rang up to. The redhead didn't need to know, and He Tian was just assured by the fact that his boy... the boy... wouldn't be going hungry.
It was growing dark out when they boarded the bus with their arms full of groceries, the sky hinting towards rain. He Tian insisted that Hong Fa tuck himself into the window seat once more, and Hong Fa reluctantly obeyed.
Hong Fa set some of his groceries onto his lap to blow warm air into his hands. He Tian noticed, reaching to grab Hong Fa's with his own. The pale slender fingers certainly were freezing, and He Tian squeezed them gently, pulling their hands to tuck under his thigh.
"Your hands are so cold because you're weak," He Tian teased quietly, just loud enough for Hong Fa to hear.
Hong Fa rolled his eyes, but he didn't pull his hand away. Instead, he glanced nervously to He Tian, "So we hold hands, we kiss... and we're still just friends?"
He Tian was slightly taken aback. It wasn't a conversation he expected to happen so soon.
"What would you say we were?" He Tian murmured.
"Despite the fact that you drive me fucking insane... I wo- I would like to be more than just friends," the redhead tripped over several of his words, but he locked his blue eyes with He Tian's silver eyes.
He Tian swallowed hard. His instinct was to make a snide remark, but instead he forced back the nervousness and sided for honesty, "I've never had anything more, I've never even had a friend. You'll have to bear with me while I figure things out."
"I'm new to this, too," Hong Fa sounded relieved. "So... for now, we can just say that we're dating."
"I like that," He Tian nodded. And he couldn't handle the awkward, tense conversation any longer. "Smartest idea you've had yet, Carrot Head."
Hong Fa smiled, a smile that made He Tian's stomach flip strangely, "You're such an asshole."
In He Tian's pocket, his phone buzzed. He momentarily released Hong Fa's hand in confusion to pull it out and glance at it. And his heart dropped. There was no reason his father would be calling again. But yet...
He shoved his phone back onto his pocket. All happiness was always taken from him by his father. By the mafia. He wouldn't let them take Hong Fa away. He refused. With a slight tremble to his hand, one he hoped the red head didn't notice, he took Hong Fa's hand back into his own. He hid the shaking by sticking their hands back under his thigh.
☼
He Tian didn't let go of Hong Fa's hand as they exited the bus at the stop near Hong Fa's house. A light drizzle had started, and the two hurried back to the small house and into the dry warmth. Surprisingly enough, He Tian tried helping put groceries away even though he was absolutely useless.
Hong Fa ended up shooing him to sit down in a kitchen chair so he could get something done. He made them a warm broth that he filled with egg, celery, and potato, and He Tian practically devoured it.
"I've never met someone who has made better food than you, Carrot Head," He Tian declared. "My boyfriend is the best chef."
Hong Fa blushed madly, "Shut up..."
Boyfriend.
"No, I'm serious," He Tian showed Hong Fa his empty bowl. "Have you considered it as a future occupation?"
"I have."
"You have my blessing."
Hong Fa gave He Tian a light kick from where they sat at the kitchen table, but he glanced at the clock on the wall.
"You should head home before it gets too late."
"I'm not scared of the dark, you know," He Tian chuckled. "Not much could hurt me. People who are out in the dark are scared of me."
"Don't flatter yourself, you're not that scary," Hong Fa stood, taking his and He Tian's bowl to the sink.
However, Hong Fa jumped as arms slipped around his waist and a mouth pressed to the side of his neck, "Oh?"
"You're weak and spineless."
Hong Fa was off his feet in an instant, the bowls crashing into the sink as He Tian carried Hong Fa over his shoulder into the living room. He was dropped onto the couch, sprawled on his back, and He Tian pounced on top of him.
"Stop squirming," He Tian laughed. "Don't elbow me."
"What the fuck are you doing?!"
The redhead was attempting to thrash from He Tian's grip as the larger boy rolled them onto their sides, but finally He Tian settled behind him, his chest warm and firm against Hong Fa's back as strong limbs clung tightly to him.
"Cozy."
"You're supposed to be leaving," Hong Fa grumbled, but he hadn't realized just how cold and damp he was until He Tian's warmth was enveloping him.
"I'll get there," He Tian assured. His long arm released Hong Fa just long enough to reach for the remote from the side table. He flipped on the small television across the room, and then he was nuzzling his face against Hong Fa's neck.
"When the fuck did you get so cuddly?" Hong Fa huffed. He wasn't necessarily complaining, but he was certainly caught off guard.
"I've always been this cuddly. You've just never let me cuddle you. I could feel how cold you were in the kitchen so I'm staying here until you're warm."
Hong Fa could feel the vibrations of He Tian speaking against his back, and he actually was surprisingly comfortable where he was. He was well fed, warm, and He Tian, of all people, felt so incredibly safe to Hong Fa.
"Fine. We'll watch one basketball game or something. But then you have to leave."
"Sure," He Tian agreed, cuddling Hong Fa impossibly closer and kissing the boy's reddening cheek.
Hong Fa gave a small smile. It wasn't anything he knew he wanted, having He Tian cuddle him... but it was something he was looking forward to happening far more often.
☼
He Tian didn't care that his father, his brother, or one of the members of Wenyi Siwang could be waiting for him. He'd watched for them frantically ever since they'd exited the bus, and he hadn't caught a glimpse of anyone. Still, he wasn't willing to leave Hong Fa alone quite yet.
So when the redhead was relaxing against his chest, quiet snores beginning to reverberate from him, He Tian simply held tighter. It was nearly peaceful, Hong Fa breathing deeply against him. But He Tian was too nervous to relax.
It would most likely be a mistake, dating Hong Fa. But He Tian was selfish. He couldn't deny himself the need to kiss the boy, hold the boy, call him his boyfriend.
If Wenyi Siwang knew they'd take him from me, they'd make me suffer.
He Tian pressed his face into the sweet smelling red hair, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for whatever happens but I'm going to keep you safe."
The boy only stirred slightly, his pale fingers curling around He Tian's wrist where He Tian's arm rested against Hong Fa's chest. It made He Tian's heart clench.
But then, the doorknob across the room in the entryway was rattling, and He Tian was on high alert. His body was tense, prepared to flip Hong Fa towards the back of the couch and shield the boy with his body.
A red headed woman in a blue dress and a brown jacket entered the room, her back to the two on the couch as she locked the front door, "Guanshan, are you awake?"
She turned back to the couch, and as her eyes fell on the two on the couch her purse clattered to the floor. He Tian lifted up a single hand, whispering over the still sound asleep Hong Fa, "Hello. I'm He Tian, and I should probably explain myself."
☼
BOYFRIENDS !! I really hope this wasn't too soon, I was striving for kind of a slow burn but. I'm getting eager to get to the good part. 😈😈
Also, thank you so much to all who comment!! It means so much to me and I want to reply to like every single one of you but I'm shy and I don't deserve you guys. Ilysm. You're wonderful.