Before you read this I just want to say thank you to those who have carried on reading even though it's not well written or is 'sucky' as I put it. I know to some a 1,000 reads don't mean a lot, but when I started writing the book I never even thought I'd reach 100. I'm going to start editing soon and reading through it as it needs some major work!
If you could, just spare a couple minutes to tell me what you think as I really want to know how I could improve other than what I think needs improving.
Thanks!
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Lauren's heart fell in her chest. He hadn't come.
The letter she had given him gave the precise time she was going to be at the doctors for her scan, and she even made Liam take her a little early so she could secretly wait out the front for him. But by the time she needed to go inside and wait for her scan, he wasn't there.
Did he even care?
Lauren hoped that her thought wasn't true but she couldn't help it. Another one, did he even want the baby? She hoped so, she was really starting to think Sebastian had wanted their child, the way he spoke about him/her so intently, the way he sounded so broken when he said he couldn't be there was like a set in stone for Lauren, she really thought he meant what he said.
''Hey Lauren, what's up?'' Liam asked her softly, she looked so upset and he knew she wasn't meant to show her emotions, she had done well so far at hiding them.
''It's just... Does Sebastian actually want to be a dad? He wasn't feeling sorry for me when he said all that stuff was he?'' To Liam’s ears she sounded like a broken child who had a promise broken and that hurt him to hear his sister like that, so fragile and upset when it was meant to be a happy time right now.
''He does, he has told me plenty of times he has. And when you had those scans every week, he wanted to be there with you OK? He just doesn't want to get close and have it all ripped away or more importantly, have you two hurt. Why would you think that?'' He asked her, his tone was so determined and strong and Lauren knew he wasn't lying, although it hurt her to think that Sebastian was distancing himself.
''Well, that letter I gave you to give to him, it had the date and time of this scan as I knew he really wanted to see his baby. He sounded like he really wanted to as well, and he even looked as though he was ready to try and keep it all a secret and see them.'' Lauren didn't understand, where was the defiant attitude she'd seen before?
''Laur... I don't know what to say. He is really trying to keep you two safe, by giving up his own happiness. Please try and understand that.'' Liam pleads, he knew his best mate was torn up over the fact.
''I do, it's just I thought this could be his first and last scan you know? He could make something special out of it.'' Lauren thought she was being rational, for someone like Sebastian it would have been easy to hide something like coming to a scan wouldn't it?
''Yeah I know, let’s not get upset about it though ok, you need to be happy.'' Liam nudges her side and she smiles at him in return and slaps him arm playfully.
''I am excited you goof, I just would have liked him here just once- Ok Ok, no more negativity.'' She quickly corrected herself when she saw Liam’s raised eyebrow and his threatening fingers that she knew could do some serious tickling.
For a gang member he sure did act like a big child sometimes.
But Lauren knew he could be deadly when he wanted to be, she loved him even more for not being like that around her, for always being her big teddy bear brother when he was with her.
''That’s what I thought.'' He chided and was about to lean comfortable back in his chair when Lauren's name was called out.
''Hey Lauren, you ready?'' The nurse called out to her and Lauren was pleased to see it was the one from the very first time.
Lauren looked towards the entrance longingly, hoping that Sebastian would just enter right that moment. She knew she was asking for the almost impossible, but she couldn't help but feel her heart drop even further at the fact he wasn't there.
She wasn't going to let that stop her excitement though, she was finally finding out the gender.
''Yeah.'' Lauren breathed out, she was bubbling with excitement and when she walked through the door into the room for the scan, she forgot about Sebastian not being there and let the excitement take over her. ''I'm so excited, I can't wait to find out.''
Liam laughed at his sister’s behaviour, she was practically bouncing on her feet and the smile was nearly as wide as her face. He was glad she wasn't the girl from a few minutes ago though, the one who was upset and in near tears.
''Well that's good then.'' The nurse chuckled and looked at Liam. ''Are you the brother?''
''Yeah.'' Liam replied and smiled at the nurse.
''Ok, let’s get started shall we?'' The nurse smiled back and turned around to Lauren.
''Ok.'' Lauren replied and excitedly hopped on the bed.
Whilst the nurse turned on all the machines and put the jelly on her stomach, Lauren couldn't take her eyes off her bump. It was growing more and more as the weeks went by and she loved it, she could never stop looking at it.
''Alright, you’re going to feel slight pressure that may be uncomfortable, but it’s normal Ok.'' The nurse started to say and put the transducer on her stomach. The image started to form and it took a while for the nurse to get a good view of the baby. ''Ok, so here's your baby, you're definitely finding out the sex aren't you?''
Lauren nodded and looked up to the monitor and gasped. Liam’s eyes quickly found his sisters face, thinking she was worried or upset but the emotion he saw took him off guard. Tears were in Lauren's eyes as she looked at her baby, at first Liam thought they were sad tears until she smiled again and took his hand.
''Wow.'' Was all she could breathe out as she gazed at her child. It was beautiful to Lauren, just seeing her child up there on the monitor made it all the more real and she loved every single feeling it brought. Even if she did fear about how the child would be brought up, that was completely out placed by the love she felt. ''I'm going to be a mummy.''
''It is magical, isn't it?'' The nurse asked, she still never got bored of her job. It was people like Lauren that made it all worth it, usually if she ever got a teen mum in, they never looked at the scan with such admiration and love that Lauren did. Some looked resentful, others with a bored expression and some did look happy, but none beat Lauren.
''Sure is.'' Lauren breathed out, still not taking her eyes off the scan. She caught sight of the heart beating and her own skipped a beat, it looked so breath taking. ''Can we hear the heartbeat?''
''Yup, hang on a second.'' The nurse replied and switched a button on the machine. The drums of a small heartbeat filled the room and Liam held his breath, tears were forming in his eyes but he tried his best to hide them... He couldn't believe he was experiencing something like this, it was times like these that he wished his life was normal so he could have a family himself one day and experience this with his girlfriend or wife.
''Liam... Are you crying?'' Lauren hesitantly asked her brother when she heard a sniffle. It was silent in the room save for the heartbeat, but soon she heard another sniffle of Liam trying to get it together.
''No.'' Came his wobbly reply and she burst out laughing, it wasn't that she was laughing at him for crying, it's just she didn't know what else to do as she had never seen Liam cry, not even when he got sent away or came home in an extreme amount of pain. ''Can we find out the gender now?'' Liam asked, trying to change the subject, plus he was getting excited now. The nurse just chuckled along with Lauren and nodded her head before looking at Lauren for confirmation.
Lauren nodded to the nurse, happy to see that Liam was enjoying coming to the scan with her. She felt like he wold think it was boring, or he would think she was stupid for being emotional. But, when she looked closer, she could see tears lining his eyes.
''Sure.'' The nurse replied to Liam and started to find out the gender. ''The baby is... A little girl.''
''Oh my god.'' Was all Lauren could say, she was so excited to be having a little girl. A boy would have been perfectly fine, but there was a part of her that wanted a little girl first. ''I'm just so happy.'' She started to tear up, Lauren felt silly for being so emotional but she couldn't help it.
''Can we get pictures?'' Liam asked, he wanted a scan himself. His niece, he liked the sound of that. Liam was going to spoil that baby girl rotten when she was born.
''Yes I'll just print some out for you, how many would you like?'' She asked, wiping the transducer clean from the jelly and standing up.
''Three please.'' He replied and Lauren looked up at him, wondering why he said that amount.
''Ok, I'll just go get a couple copied for you.'' The nurse replied and took the original scan with her as she exited the room.
''Why three?'' Lauren asked when she left.
''You, me and um... Well I was thinking you could give one to Sebastian.'' He answered back, his tone hesitant, hoping he didn't upset Lauren.
''Ok, makes sense.'' She replied and started to clean her stomach off from the jelly.
''You're getting so big.'' Liam blurted out, staring at her stomach in wonder.
''Are you calling me fat?'' It must have been hormones or something as Lauren turned an evil eye towards him, if they didn't have anything to do with it she would have joked with him.
''N-No! I meant your baby bump Lauren... You know that.'' Liam tried to right himself, he only just realized how that sounded when he told her she looked big, and he chided himself when she just raised an eyebrow at him.
''Oh really? Of course you did.'' Lauren pursed her lips and scowled at him. ''You're buying tea. And it's not going to be cheap now.''
''S-Sure.'' He replied, shocked that he was getting off lightly. Over the past couple months she had gotten hormonal a few times and Liam knew by now that she didn't mean it, although he wasn't going to risk his chances and was going to buy her tea.
Suddenly Lauren burst out laughing, she really couldn't believe she fooled her brother! She knew that she'd been mean over the past few months a couple times and she felt bad, but it was just too fun to mess with him.
''Y-You-'' Liam couldn't form a sentence, he could not believe he was fooled by his little sister like that!
''Suck it up Liam.'' She giggled at him and he just huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and looking away with a sour expression. ''Oh come on Liam, I was just playing.'' Lauren smiled, her voice holding the humour she still held from earlier.
All Liam did was just huff again, and cross his arms tighter over his chest, letting her know he heard her and wasn't replying.
''Liam! I was just playing.'' Lauren was the one who huffed this time when Liam still didn't reply. ''Oh for god sake...'' She muttered after she just sat there staring at him for a minute. ''Fine! I'll pay for dinner!''
''Aw Lauren really? That's so kind of you.'' Liam was now turned around with a huge smile on his face, his tone mocking. Lauren knew immediately that he was just playing her as well.
''You bastard.'' She muttered to Liam, she would have said more to him but the nurse walked in at that moment.
''Here you go!'' She handed over the three scans to Lauren in a cardboard cover, her tone cheerful.
''Thank you.'' Lauren replied, taking the scans off her and opening the cover up. She gazed down at the original with a smile on her face, she was getting really excited to be having a baby now. ''I actually can't wait till she's born now, knowing she's a girl just makes it even more real.''
''That's really good to hear, you don't know how many teens- even adults- come in here every year and find having a baby is one of the worst things they have done. It's really sad because having a baby is an exciting matter, not something that should be taken lightly either.'' The nurse shook her head slowly in dejection, she hated it when people came in here for a scan and just looked at the screen with detest and revulsion, blaming the innocent child for their mistake.
''That sounds horrible.'' Lauren gasped and tried to imagine people acting like that, but she couldn't. She didn't know how anybody could think like that, especially after she had just had the scan to find out the gender. The child was innocent, yes it may be the cause of some problems, but having a baby had honestly changed Lauren's life for the better, her horrid past now forgotten and she was ready for a new future.
''I know. So, is there any questions you have to ask?'' The nurse asked, getting back to the topic at hand.
''Nope.'' Lauren chirped, closing her scan cover and standing up.
''Well then, I will be seeing you in twelve weeks for your final scan.'' The nurse smiled at Lauren and then Liam before walking to the door and holding it open for them. Since it was Lauren's first pregnancy and she was young, she had to have a couple more scans than someone who had already had a child to make sure everything went ok.
''Ok that's cool, see you then!'' She smiled at the nurse and Lauren practically skipped all the way to the car, she was excited as they were going to be going shopping now since they knew the gender.
''Alright calm down, your bouncing up and down like a bloody rabbit Lauren.'' Liam laughed at his sister, he was excited himself though, just not to the extent that he was grinning like a weird man just like Lauren was doing.
''Sorry.'' Lauren giggled and tried to fight the smile off her face but it wasn't working, it just reappeared a couple seconds later. ''I can't help it, I'm just so excited I finally get to go shopping!''
She squealed and Liam just rolled his eyes at her behaviour, he hadn't really seen Lauren act like this before, but he was enjoying it from the totally different person who was moping around the house for the past couple of months.
''Alright, just get in the car.'' He sighed and shook his head in mock disappointment, but a smile was on his face though as he did so.
When they got to the store they brought the furniture that Lauren had been looking at weeks before in a baby book, a beautiful white metal framed cot with sleek white wardrobes and drawers to match, Liam offered to pay and after a lot of persuading he managed to do just that. To go with the furniture, she brought a nice white chair with beige accessories- the cot blankets and other necessities, and Lauren couldn't wait for it all to be put together.
When they got to the baby store after arranging details for her items to be delivered, Lauren went wild. She brought three massive boxes each of nappies and wipes, loads of baby soap, shampoo, bath stuff, and when she got to the clothes, she went even crazier.
A huge trolley was filled up with clothes for the baby, ranging from baby grows to those cute little one pieces that make babies look adorable, her favourite was the light pink fluffy suit that had bear ears on the hood and Liam just rolled his eyes at her when she raced to get it. Lauren also found a scrap book you can put your scan and other pictures in and she brought that, looking forward to putting her scans in it when she got time.
With money well spent Lauren and Liam went home after they went to Lauren's choice of pizza hut. Whilst they were there, Lauren got a pen off of one of the waitresses and grabbed the scan out of her bag.
Your baby girl Sebastian.
19 weeks.
She wrote that on the back of the scan, letting know how far along she was as well. Hopefully he'll work out how long till he will have a baby girl in the world and how long he had to decide. Liam was meeting up with him later for a task, she was going to get him to pass it onto Sebastian when he does, and hopefully he will know what he missed then.
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Sorry the ending kind of sucks for this chapter, I really didn't want to go on and on about how they just buy furniture and baby clothes so its short and to the point, also, sorry it’s kind of boring but there's going to be more action in the next chapter-pinky promise- and it hopefully won't be as boring.
The picture on the side is similar to what I had imagined and described as her baby's room, it’s not as posh nor is it as pristine as it looks in the picture, but just imagine the same layout and same furniture or something.
Also, I know it seems quite farfetched that she would have a house of that size, but I'll just say a quick rundown basically. It's a two bedroom house which both rooms are masters, one room (Lauren's) has an en suite and the other has a decent size bathroom next to it. Downstairs there is a kitchen, dining room, and a living room. Yes it seems impossible for an eighteen year old to have something like that, but her mum and dad were members of the gang and they had quite a lot of money.
They were quite high up in the gang as well, which hopefully from what I’ve tried to explain means that you are richer than the others. But, hopefully it also explains somewhere that they stole quite a lot of money, this ended up in their banks which the gang did not know of (meaning which they knew her parents stole the money, but did not know where it ended and also couldn't be asked to find it) and then ended up with Lauren as she was their child and Liam was locked away. (No nothing happens with her having their money, it’s not like they don't have enough of it anyway.)
So this means that she was able to buy/rent, whatever you want to call it, a decent house.
Also, just in case people are confused I'll do another quick rundown and clear things up.
She got pregnant. Then she remembers Seb's the dad. Soon she finds out Seb is in fact Liam’s best friend and that Liam is in a gang. She spends time with Seb, her feelings grow deeper than just a small attraction. Lauren soon gets mugged and when Seb sees her beaten up in the hospital bed, he asks what happened and knew the assailant due to certain details and killed him, after that he didn't see Lauren anymore because he didn't want her to end up worse with what could happen if anyone ever found out. She doesn't go to college as she struggled to leave the house without Liam, she didn't go to work but if didn't write about it, but she spoke to Travis from time to time though, and also she had counselling sessions. Two months later she’s getting back to normal and has her scan, Seb didn't show up after she told him the time and all that, even though he had asked earlier in the book if he could go. But, she gets a copy for him and then they go shopping for her stuff. Whilst she is at the food place at the end of the day she writes on the back of a copied scan that Sebastian is going to be a father to a little girl and how far along she is, it is said that Sebastian gets the scan later on in the evening when Liam goes to meet him.
Voila! What has happened so far in a very run down version. Although, I do suck at explaining things so it is most likely a very crap version so forgive me.
It should make sense though.
Hopefully anyway.
But, if you have any questions please do ask!
Thanks for reading, a vote would be lovely if you liked it!
xxx