Slash absently stares out of the window while stuffing dry breakfast cereals into his mouth with not even a spoon. There's his grandma sitting on the other side of the table, drinking from a cup, looking at him.
"Why did you loose your job, Saul?"
Sash gives a annoyed sigh, stretching on his desk. "I already told you."
She just keeps on looking, then takes a spoon from the desk to shove it over to him, just getting a stubborn gaze in return as Slash demonstratively grabs into his bowl again.
"You told me your boss was an asshole."
The way she emphasizes that last word almost gets Slash chuckling, but he holds back.
"Yeah and it's true."
"You're going to look for a new one again today?"
"Nah, rehearsal in the afternoon."
"With that Axl guy?"
Slash tries not to freak about her weird tone.
"With Axl, yes. Of course."
She hums, looks into her cup then back to him again.
"You know...", she begins and Slash immediately feels like throwing up, panic shooting through his whole body, "I really support you wherever I can and I'm sure you're doing a good job with your band...but I don't know if it's really...good company for you..."
Panic turns to slight anger. "What do you mean?"
"I mean...I know Steven, he's nice, but..."
"But?!"
"I am not so sure about Axl."
"Why?"
"I think he has no manners."
Slash stops eating, not wanting to get angry, but it's already too late. "You never even talked properly to him once!"
"Yes. And he lives with you for three months now. That's my point."
Slash looks down, grimacing, cause' he knows she's right about that.
"He's just shy...and he has some issues with new people.", quietly said.
"Ah."
The anger again.
"What 'ah'?!"
His grandma lifts an eyebrow at that. "Watch your tongue, young man."
"Yeah, yeah...whatever..."
He stands up to put the bowl into the sink.
"So, you're saying he's a nice guy as well?"
Slash blushes with his back still turned to her, cause' he's still not sure if she suspects something or not, then slowly turns. "Yes."
"Ok. I trust you with that." She gives a warm smile, which Slash tries to return.
"I'm going over then. Will you be gone at 12 again?"
The question sounds weird to him but he stays calm.
"I am going to go in ten minutes, yes. Why?"
"No particular reason."
"Have fun then."
"With what?" He hates himself for the slightly high pitched question.
"Band practice, or are you planning on something else?"
"Ah. No. No. Thanks."
As he hurries to his room, he finds Axl being awake, laying on his belly and watching the terrarium. He looks up as Slash enters. "Hey."
"Hi..." Slash leans against the door with his back, breathing heavily.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah...I am...god, I think she knows..."
"What?"
"Ya' kidding?!", he sits on the bed next to Axl, "about our...ya' know...about the...uhm..."
"It's ok, I understand." Axl turns his face away while speaking, suddenly very attracted by the desk as it seems.
"But whatever...she's gone now anyway."
"Is she yeah?" Axl still doesn't look at him
"Yeah..."
Uncomfortable silence seems to have become a proper act of communication between them, as they are both sure what it means and what will follow- but there's this thin line that has to be overcome every time, the little step into a direction far from the urgent knowledge that they shouldn't do what they were doing. The thrill of opportunities, of experimenting, of breaking unwritten rules.
For Slash it did never matter what was to be seen right or not. He had always acted like he wanted, cause' he never gave much on moral constructions. He didn't even feel like a rebel, it was all just about being and expressing himself, but he had to admit that it was thrilling, attracting to him that it wasn't quite usual, that they had to hide it and it made him feel awesome, cause' he cared so less.
Slash grabs for a cigarette, scratching his nose as he lights it and Axl finally faces him again, still laying on his belly. "Take that stupid cap off, dude..."
"What, why?"
He grabs for it, shoving it to the side a little. It's the new baseball cap he stole, pressing his mass of curls down so that they are sticking in every direction from under it, barely reaching his shoulders.
"Cause' we're inside..." Axl reaches out to grab it and throws it to the ground carelessly, then brushes some hair strands out of Slashs face with a short, almost harsh movement, blushing while doing so, then looks away again. It's enough for Slash to make him grin, cause' for Axl it's a clear invitation.
"Axl?", it's carefully whispered, but Axl jerks anyway, "will you look at me?"
Axl does, slowly turning around again, looking into Slashs eyes for just a second, then his gaze is darting from one corner of the room to the other, back to Slashs face, downwards. Looking nervous, like he always does when talking to strangers.
"Are you nervous?", Slash directly asks and Axl glares at him.
"No. Why should I?"
"Dunno'...brush through my hair again?"
Slash doesn't even know why he has the guts to simply ask, but the way Axl behaves shows him that he's interested in their little arrangement there as well, so maybe it should be comfortable by now to get near to each other.
It's not when Axl touches a hair strand, wide eyed, before burying all fingers into Slashs hair, not really moving, but just softly pressing to his head with his fingertips. Slash closes his eyes with his pulse speeding up, sighing, wordless, out of breath.
"Slash?"
"Hm?"
"You sure she's already gone?"
"Yes..."
"Cause' I have some pot. Wanna get high?"
Slash opens his eyes, looking at him while Axl removes his hand from his hair to fumble a thin joint from his pocket. He's grinning, having distracted from the obvious again, but Slash didn't care as he grabs the lighter and stands up.
"At the window."
Axl takes the first puff, inhaling deeply and letting the smoke linger in his lungs as long as he can, then hands it over. Slash inhales as well, his pulse racing with anticipation, watching the quickly burning down joint in his hands.
"It's not much he?"
"We're not sharing the smoke!"
"Jeez, never wanted to suggest that."
"Good."
A few more puffs and Slash feels his legs getting heavier, his skin prickling with the dullness of his mind. Everything gets softer, every impression a little sensation and as he turns his head there's that left twist pressing him down, making him grin at himself.
"That's good stuff, Axl."
"Yeah, I know."
He sounds lazily, tired, sensual. It's not much, just a pleasant dose of reorientation and slowed down sheer-fullness, but it's enough to make Slash stare shamelessly at Axls lips as he takes the last puff.
"Don't look at me like that..."
"I'm not."
"Looking?"
"Like what?"
"Like that."
Slash gives a slow grin, not getting where this conversation is going or what he even wants to say and Axl responds with a grin by himself, forgetting about his carefulness, his shyness for a second.
"You are still..."
"Just watching you smoke."
"I stopped."
"Just watching you."
"Yeah...you are..."
Axls chin long copper strands are falling in smooth curves that are emphasizing the evenness of his face.
"You got freckles", Slash says, still looking at him and Axl furrows his brows.
"Yeah, I know. It's sunny outside."
Slash closes the window, then leans against the frame while Axl grabs for a bottle of lemonade that's laying on the floor. "Can I still drink that?"
"Maybe...could be old. Just try."
Axl carefully opens the bottle to smell on it, making Slash chuckle, then laugh when he grimaces and closes it again immediately. "Uh...it's oooold..."
"Damn ooold..." Slash does a few steps, then throws himself to the couch, still grinning. "Where did you get that from, Ax? I'm high as fuck..."
The ceiling is moving with his pulse as Axl sits next to him with his knees pressed to his chest, curled up against himself. There's no answer so Slash keeps on babbling.
"Ya' know...you're not feminine...like...ya know, it's not true..."
Axl has the corner of his mouth curled up, amused or confused or both, "What?" A little laugh.
"Nah, you're not..."
"Who says I am?"
"Eeeeveryone. But you're not. You're...fuck I think ya' looking much younger than me...but you're not...and you got that damn deep voice..."
"You're not making any sense to me."
"Can you touch me, Axl? Will you?"
Axl looks away again, blushed and nervous at his openness, his chin lowered, head ducked down as he stares to the ground.
"Why ya' always that ashamed?"
"I'm not...it's just..."
"It's just a little fun. Like with the drugs."
"Hm..."
"Like with my bike, ya' know...sometimes...sometimes when I'm doing some trick and I think I'm falling...or when I wanna steal something-"
"You steal a lot."
"I know. And it's loosing every thrill...like missing classes."
"You went to school?"
"Sure...last year...my mom wanted me to, but it was a fuckin' waste of time."
"Are you afraid sometimes? Cause' you don't know where ya' belong?"
"Nah. Never. Not givin' a shit for future plans."
Slash reaches out to intertwine his fingers with Axls, a little surprised when Axl lets him and just keeps on talking.
"I feel so old sometimes..."
"You're 21, Axl. Best of your life still coming."
"Maybe...I don't know...and I don't wanna get older", Slash lets his thumb brush over the back of Axls hand, "I don' t wanna change..."
"Then don't."
"Hm. We all do, right? It's necessary."
"I don't know, but if you don't want to, just don't. Everything's a decision."
Axl looks at their connected hands until Slash holds them up in the air. "It's a fuckin' promise now!"
Axl laughs but there's a hopeful glimmer of trust in his eyes. When Slash lets their hands sink again he pulls Axl down with it, making him hiss in surprise. Their foreheads are crashing together with a little too much force and Axl tries to sit up again, but Slash holds him in place by their still intertwined hands.
"We've got nothing to loose", Slash whispers while Axls breath is unsteadily hitting his face, warm and smelling like smoke. Axl swallows audibly and visible, his fingers trembling, sweaty, but he leans in then to let his parted lips touch Slashs chin, feeling the little stubble there as Slash isn't really well shaved.
A first little kiss against Slashs bottom lip with just a hint of pressure, before Axls murmurs a sheepish sounding "It's just a game, right?"
"Yeah, sure. Don't take everything too seriously."
"I'm not."
"You always do..." and he sits up a little to give a real, wet kiss that's intensified, hazed from the dope, but Axl finally relaxes with his other hand now resting on Slashs belly, fingers shyly stroking over the revealed skin between shirt and jeans. Slash is already asking himself if he'll have to guide Axls hand again today, when it slips under his shirt to touch his chest, proving that he won't.
"Touch me everywhere...do what you want..."
Axl smiles softly at his words, then tucks at his shirt to pull it off, exposing Slashs tanned ribcage. Slash stretches, feeling Axls hardened dick against his leg and moans lowly at the contact.
"You're hard..." Axl raises his eyebrows, blushed for the hundredth time and their hands are separating as he sits up to prevent his crotch from touching Slashs thigh.
"Don't be silly...", Slash whispers as he all of sudden presses the palm of his hand against it, to show Axl that it's really not necessary to be shy again. Axl moans loudly, caught by surprise and almost falls on top of Slash. He's kneeling on all fours, panting, while Slash keeps on rubbing against him.
"I could try to suck you off?" Axl gives him an unbelieving look from above, getting a grin in return.
"Not?"
"You really want to? You sure?"
"Don't know, never done it. Lets try! Lay down."
Axl lays down to his back beside Slash with a quiet little hum of wariness.
"You're crazy..."
"Yeah, maybe...whatthefuckever, I don't care. I'm high and I'm horny..."
"Explains a lot."
"Take your shorts off."
"Uhm..."
"God, Axl. Relax."
Slash impatiently grabs for his waistband and removes his shorts, giving him an encouraging look.
"You're bigger than me, I really shouldn't deep throat."
Axl releases his breath and covers his eyes with one hand. "Will you ever stop talking?"
"Going to muffle me, baby?"
"Slash!"
"Not into dirty talk?"
"Stop making fun of me! Just...god I won't say it..."
"Ok..." Slash looks at him, thinking of where to begin, then decides for a simple kiss to his hipbone what causes Axl to wriggle.
"Don't! It's tickling."
Slash holds his hips down with both hands and gives a bunch of kisses then, earning a high pitched laugh and a knee hitting his stomach, then a hit to the back of his head.
"Ouch!"
"Fuck you!"
"Sorry", a full teethed grin, "just had to."
A deep breath and Slash licks all along Axls shaft without warning, this time earning a groan and Axls back arching. Another time before he sucks the tip in his mouth, the unfamiliar taste of precum at his tongue. "You're tasting funny."
"Then don't!"
"I didn't say bad..."
Another soft suckle then he lets him slide down his throat a little deeper, coughing, gagging, his eyes wetting, but he eagerly tries again, victoriously grinning against Axls cock as he manages to suppress his gagging reflex this time. There's not even half of it in his mouth, but Axls is already desperately clawing his nails in the couch's cloth, his chest littered with red stains.
"Tell me beforehand, Axl."
"F-feels like fuckin' soon..."
Three or four movements as Slash sucks him in again and Axl has his eyes shut, brows furrowed, lips just a thin line and his jaw clenched, so Slash stops again.
"Are you holding back?"
"No...?"
"Don't lie."
"Dammit yes, you asshole!"
Both hands covering his face, but Slash lies beside him again and pulls them down, shoving his tongue into Axls mouth, while he begins pumping him, everything slick from saliva. Axl whines into his mouth, one of his hands painfully grabbing into his hair, then there's warm fluid running down Slashs still moving fingers, until Axl reaches down to stop him from moving.
They are still kissing, but when Slash wants to lean back again, there's Axls hand at his neck, hindering him from it, forcing him to keep on kissing and judged by the warmth of Axls face he's embarrassed again, not wanting to look at him. When he finally allows him to stop, his cheeks are still flushed.
"Sorry..."
"Bout' what?"
"Uhm...coming after less than a minute...?"
"Don't worry, I'm just talented as fuck."
"You're bad at it."
"Fuck you!"
This time it's Axl earning a hit to his head and they both laugh for a second.
"So, how many better blowjobs did ya' receive, Ax?"
"I guess...three..."
"And the other ones?"
"No other ones."
"What?!"
"What 'what'?"
"That's not really a good rate. You're in a fuckin' band and you're fuckin' cool, you could have them in row!"
"Maybe...but I'm busy with more important stuff."
"You're going to try tonight! I'm voting for at least five."
"Don't you dare! Izzy's going to freak over it."
"Uh oh, Izzy, Izzy, Izzy...Izzy the great judge!"
"Slash!"
"Don't depend on him like that. You're not accountable to him. And why the fuck should he freak? He's your best friend."
"I depend on no one, bastard!"
"Yeah good! Just...ya' know, if people don't like what you're doing, fuck 'em."
"You're such a hippie..."
"Yep. By the way, will I get something in return?"
"I-" There the sound of someone walking up the stairs and Slash curses quietly.
"Is she back?"
"Seems so. Dammit."
"Will...will you manage to stay quiet when I...when I...j-jerk you off?"
"Sure."
"I'm not so sure 'bout that...you're a blabbermouth."
Slash pokes a finger to his chest. "You're shy as fuck every time and when you finally found some courage, you're that sassy?"
Axl laughs, showing the crooked, nicotine stained front row of his teeth, looking unusually light-hearted.
"You want your handjob or not?"
Slash throws himself to his back, moving his hand down his body in an inviting gesture.
"All yours."