The entire night I felt Tatianna toss and turn. She would wake up screaming and crying. At one point I felt her get up. I decided not to follow her because she didn't seem like she needed it. I just turned the lamp on and waited for her to come back up stairs.
After about five minutes Tati came back. She was holding a knife.
"Holy shit babe! What the hell is that for!?" I asked a little scared. Tati jumped. I didn't mean to startle her.
"I just feel safer with it up here..." She whispered. I shrugged. I thought it was really weird, but if it made her feel better then I wasn't going to question it. Tatianna left it on the bedside table and then came back to bed and snuggled into me.
"Do you think you are going to be alright....I mean eventually at least." I asked hesitantly.
"Yeah," she let out a heavy sigh. "I'm going to be fine." Tati gave me a weak but cute smile. All the sudden I felt her flinch back.
"What!?"
"I'm sorry Dre, it's just that I'm not ready for anything like that. Ok?" She said hurt. I hadn't even realized but I had let my hand slip to her butt. I felt really terrible. "Don't look at me like that. I'm going to be fine!" She grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together. "We can go talk to your police friends tomorrow and then we can just spend the day watching movies and cuddling. Ok?" I just nodded. I was really surprised at how calm she was about everything. But I had a feeling that she wasn't really healing. I think she was just blacking out the memory which wasn't healthy.
*******
"What do you mean you can't do anything about it!?" I yelled. I was pissed we were sitting in the conference room at the Beverly police department. We both had thought it was best if we just skipped school today.
"Like I said, Matthew had a solid alibi. At 1:45 pm he checked into a hotel in Chicago. I believe you! I really really do, but without any evidence there is nothing we can do. No jury is going to convict him." Patrick said. I was pissed but Tatianna looked absolutely furious.
"So that bastard is just going to get away with it!?!" She screamed. I grabbed her hand and pulled her back down to the table.
"Unless you haven't showered since the incident. We could pull DNA but if you have then all evidence has been washed away." Patrick explained.
"Of course I fucking showered. That was the first thing I did after puking my guts out because I had been violated in the worse way possible!" Tatianna screamed again.
"Again, I am so sorry, but there is nothing I can do. But if something else comes up we will do everything we can to get him behind bars!" He said. Patrick left the room giving us some privacy.
"This is so unfair!" Tatianna sobbed and I pulled her close.
*****
"Babe?" I questioned. We were on the way home from the BPD and Tati was back to being calm again.
"Mmm?" She answered while looking absent mindedly out the window.
"I want you to see a therapist." I said firmly.
"What!?" She snapped out of her daze.
"I said that I want you to see a therapist."
"No." She said flatly.
"Why? It will be good for you to talk it out with someone, because I know you won't talk to me." I pushed. I knew she would protest but I planned on making her go anyway.
"Cause it's stupid. I have seen 4 shrinks and 3 different counselors. None of them helped. The whole idea is ridiculous. They're just like 'How do you feel about that?" And I just wanna punch them in the face and say 'I'm crying on your fucking couch right now! How do you think I feel dumbass!'" She explained calmly. I laughed.
"Haha, ok. But how about you go see a specialist that deals with girls I'm the same situation as you. You would only have to go for like tree weeks." I tried to convince.
"I don't want to." She said very simply. I grabbed her hand and intertwined out fingers.
"Please do it. For me?" I gave her my best puppy dog face.
"Ugh, fine!" She huffed.