I'm okay.
The biggest lie I've ever told,
Nothing's wrong, everything is fine.
But when I say this you've crossed the line.
Everything is wrong,
I look at this world and I don't belong.
I see perfect girls in magazines,
And think that will never be me.
I will never have perfect skin or body,
Don't you see?
I'm stupid, and can never do anything right.
Maybe that's why I always get into a fight.
I don't belong here, in this world,
Where different is wrong.
All I am is different.
Every word from my mouth is a lie,
Hiding all my feelings and pain behind,
Trying to hide that all I want to do is die...
My hopes and dreams crushed underneath,
The heavy weight of my lies and worries
You can't even listen to my stories.
You don't understand.
I live for the pain that's why I'm okay.
What more do I have to say?
I'm so lost in my mind,
So hard to find the concept of time.
Every day that passes I feel like its a second,
In the vast sea of days, hours, and minutes.
Every second counts because every second
Is a day in my mind,
And everyday I feel this pain.
The pain of my anxiety, depression,
And everything else wrong with my head.
I guess you can call me mad,
But to me it's normal.
The pounding of my heart,
When attention is on me.
That's causes a ripple through my body.
The pain in my chest,
When I feel like I've done something wrong.
The shaking of my hands,
When I'm nervous.
You don't understand what it's like!
What it's like to be like me.
What it's like to say that you're just... "Okay"
P.s. I wrote this along time ago in a journal I had lying in my room. So I just fixed it some. I'm actually fine don't worry.