sean, babe♡
The first thing Kataleen felt when she woke up, was the overbearing presence of Arthur. Her body pressed against his, she felt a dull ache all over. Slowly wiggling her fingers, she tried to return movement to her stiff form. Not long after, Kataleen slowly moved away from Arthur's warm body and breathed out as she felt herself cool off. What she had not expected was how little the bed they were sleeping in was, and she tumbled off the edge. Landing on the white stone floor with a loud thumb, she let out a small cry of pain.
Alarmed, Arthur shot off the bed and hurried over to her side.
"Are you all right?" He asked, picking her small body up and placing her on the bed with ease. "Fuck Kataleen, I've been so worried."
"How long have I been out?" Kataleen asked instead of answering, placing a hand on her forehead as she closed her eyes. She was in what she remembered as the infirmary, the small, slightly uncomfortable, bed being a sure telltale. The room was white and didn't give off any special feeling. The room just was.
"About ten hours, max." Arthur said, looking at her with worry in his eyes. "How do you feel?"
"Better, at least." Kataleen said, thinking back at the fight. "The wound on my shoulder hurts like hell, though."
"I don't even know how you are awake now." Arthur said, pursing his lips. He took a deep breathe before continuing, "It looked bad, Kataleen, really bad."
"I know, I should have been more careful." Kataleen said. Taking her bottom lip between her teeth, she carefully watched Arthur.
"I was so worried." Arthur said, repeating what he said before. "I knew you would wake up, but that didn't help. Don't do it again, you idiot."
"I'll try." Kataleen said, a small sigh leaving her mouth. "But we knew that we were going to be injured. I can take care of myself, even though I'm thankful that you were there. It could have gone worse if you weren't."
Arthur nodded, and Kataleen moved closer to him on the bed. She lay her head on his chest, relaxing into his warm, hard body. She took a deep breathe in, closing her eyes in exhaustion. As she opened them again, Arthur was staring down at her.
"Stop looking at me like I'm going to crumble any second." Kataleen muttered, closing her eyes again. "Just let me rest a bit, I'm tired."
"Okay," Arthur softly said, placing a small kiss on the crown of her head. Lying down, he pulled Kataleen closer to him so that her head hand upper back was on his chest.
She didn't feel like sleeping, she had done that too long already, but she didn't want to go up either. She thought about the fight again, and felt a small sliver of fear. If she had died then, what would have happened to Arthur? To Anna? Her friends and family?
Now that she had a mate, it was not only her wellbeing she had to be concerned of, but also Arthur's. What she did indirectly affected him, and the reckless things she sometimes liked to dabble in were off limits. If Kataleen was to die, there was a chance that Arthur also would. There were many stories about mates that had lost their other halves and gone insane, Arthur's own mother being one of them. She was no longer an independent lone wolf roaming with her best friends, she was also a mate and a future Luna. All the thoughts made her head spin, and the feeling of anxiety lightly brushed her mind.
A knock sounded at the door, and Arthur hadn't even finished welcoming the person in before the door shot up and Kataleen was ripped away from Arthur.
"Oh god, Kataleen," A worried voice belonging to Colin sounded. "I have been so worried. How could you be so stupid?"
"Colin, it hurts." Kataleen meekly said, and he quickly released her from the painful embrace that had pressurised her healing wounds.
"Sorry!" He quickly said, giving her a sheepish smile. "I'm just so glad to see you alive. You have to be more careful next time."
"It wasn't even my fault, he was just as good as I was." Kataleen said, stressing the last part. Colin's eyes widened in realisation, but the rest of his features were cold as stone.
"Do you think that Roger trained him?" Colin asked, a small sliver of sadness and anger showing in his eyes. "Maybe that is why Anna couldn't fight the rogue. Fuck, I should have known!"
"What do you mean she couldn't fight the rogue?" Kataleen said, her tone demanding with an underlying threat.
"Colin, I trusted that you wouldn't tell her." Arthur icily said, his eyes shooting daggers at her best friend.
"I know, but it just slipped-"
"What do you mean Anna couldn't fight him?" Kataleen interrupted, speaking loudly and lethally. "Don't you dare keep this from me!"
She felt her head spin with unanswered questions, and she sifted through her thoughts to find a reasonable explanation for his statement. Had she been kidnapped? Injured? Or even killed?
She didn't just want answers, she needed them. Anna had been like a sister to her from the day they met in the wood, with Colin as her brother. She felt more love for the Gatley sibling than for her adoptive parents and Mathew combined. The first family she hadn't gotten the chance to choose, but she could choose her second one. She valued them higher than Arthur in her mind, even if the bond was making her feelings for him grow each day, and she wasn't even sure that it was the bond only that held them together anymore.
"We need to tell her, Arthur." Colin said, his facade breaking, despair and restlessness showing on his face, and Kataleen felt a sinking feeling in her chest. "It's not fair for her, or me."
Arthur looked at her with worry, before nodding to Colin that he was free to talk.
"Anna, she isn't here." Colin carefully said, remembering what had happened last time he had delivered bad new to Kataleen. When that happened, it had been Anna who had gotten injured by a rogue that Kataleen had let pass. "She was taken by one of the rogues, and he was described as having one red eye."
"No, no, no," Kataleen repeated, trying to convince herself that Colin was wrong. "It can't be! This means that it was all my fault! It's just like last time, again!"
"Kataleen, calm down." Colin calmly said, but Kataleen could detect his concealed anxiety, the anxiety she fed on. She didn't process his words, and an explosion of panic and anxiety rose in her chest.
It had only happened once before, but she remembered the feeling all too well. She was going to loose control, all in a small hospital room. The walls, suddenly feeling too close, gave her an illusion of coming closer and together with the feeling of anxiety and panic, claustrophobia crept inside her mind and she felt her throat close up. Struggling to breathe, she saw black spots dance across her vision and she instinctively pushed her way to the door.
Colin was talking to her with what he probably thought was a soothing voice, but she could hear the forgotten memories that his words were carrying without him noticing.
Her, hurting him. Her, loosing control. Her, being consumed by her own feelings.
As she broke through the door and hurried out of the small building, she felt the world closing in on her simultaneous. The shrieks of fear and protests as she ran, through what she perceived as narrow corridors, were lost on her. She did not think, only feel. The only thing she was waiting for was the final emotion she new would be coming. And as she knew it would, it came.
A feeling of anger slowly broke through her mental walls, before planting a seed in her mind. It bloomed, slowly but surely, before she was fuming in rage. The anxiety and panic was gone, and she was now angry at herself, and the world. What had happened to Anna was not fair, and even though she wasn't dead, the uncertainty of the situation was worse than knowing. The small ray of hope was overruled by her anger, and she tore at her hair in an attempt to punish herself. If she hadn't broken her unwavering concentration to take that fatal breathe, she could have been the one winning, and ultimately saved Anna.
Preoccupied with her destructive thoughts, she was surprised when the change came upon her. Her clothes spread into shreds around her, and the transformation that should have been painless hurt. It was like shifting for the first time again, and she knew that the pain of that shift was more painful than the one she had the previous time she lost control. She could feel each bone breaking, and the fur as the hair penetrated her skin like a billion needles. Her scream contorted into a half howl, and she hoped that she had subconsciously moved far enough from the pack so that they wouldn't hear her pain.
Once the transformation ended, she collapsed in exhaustion. Looking around her, she saw only trees and dense forest and was glad that there were no living creatures nearby. She had no control over her instincts, and no amount of training would have helped her. She was out of all control, and she wasn't sure if she wanted anyone to help her. It was her way of punishing herself, for slipping up and causing Anna's probable death. But, rage was better than sorrow.
She did not know how long she paced around the woods, hunting animals and growling in rage, but it was sundown when a larger black wolf came sprinting towards her with immense speed. So surprised, the midnight black wolf knocked her down on her back and lay above her. She struggled under Arthur's hold, the emanating sense of familiarity of him not breaking her mental state. As he shifted, Kataleen gained the upper hand and tossed him off her. Not registering his nakedness, she growled menacing at him. Her mind was a haze of red, and she saw only foe or foe.
"Kataleen," Arthur growled at her, his tone lacking concern. "You will calm down."
She let out a noise of disagreement and took a threatening step closer to him. His eyes connected with hers, and for the first time she saw him in full Alpha mode. He would not allow anything but obedience, not even from her. In her mind, she didn't even process her name.
But, she remembered that she would never take an order from anyone. Her name was lost in her mind, but she had no doubt that she was the daughter of an Alpha and a future Luna. That sliver of clarity was all it took for Kataleen to regain her control. It was like a tidal wave of memories, and she instantly shifted back into her human form. Holding in a sob, she sat in a metal position staring at the ground. The overwhelming aftermath of all the emotions had left her breathless and stranded with the sadness of Anna's disappearance.
"Oh god," Kataleen choked out, not wanting her feelings to show as she tried to regain control over the new emotions. Arthur immediately rushed to her side, and pulled her close to his chest.
"Kat," Arthur softly said. "It's okay."
As Kataleen broke down in font of him, Arthur held her close and stroked her hair. The comfort of him helped her calm down, and as the last stray tears fell down her face, she looked up at him.
"Thank you," Kataleen faintly said, giving him a small smile. "How did you know how to help me?"
"I've been in a similar situation." He said, before softly picking her up and holding her close. "I'll tell you about it later. Now, you need to let me take you back to our room."
Kataleen nodded, and he kissed her on her forehead before running back to their room, not stopping anywhere on the way. The whole experience had gone to fast for her, and she could only remember the horrible feeling of rage and lack of oxygen as she recalled what had happened. But, nothing could take her mind off Anna's disappearance, and even if it would be the last thing she would do, she had to find Anna.
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what an intense chapter, haha ;-)
I know that my updates aren't regular anymore, but school has just been so ugh right know. I have a math test on Thursday, so I've been stressing over that. And I haven't even gotten enough sleep this weekend. On Friday I was at some sort of event, and on Saturday I was supposed to just chill at home and hopefully write, but my friend texting me asking if I wanted to go to a party with her (yes ofc??)
Thank you so much for 5k reads! What are your thoughts on this chapter?
A bit fast paced, I know...
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- Emma