I was walking out of school ready to leave for lunch. I am consumed with thoughts of my dad. His birthday is in a few days, and it kills me he isn't here to live another year.
"Chloe!" I heard James yell snapping me out of my thoughts. I quickly turn around trying to find him.
"Why you yelling boy?" I ask once my eyes finally land on his oh so intoxicating ones.
"Lose the tude dude." he says with a soft chuckle.
"Whatever." I say beginning to walk away towards the field not feeling as good as this morning.
"Aww why you so grumpy sweetie?" he asks as he catches up to me.
"I'm not J." I say even though he is kind of right.
"See I know you lying Ms. Missy." he says making me laugh a little.
"Are we getting lunch or what J?" I ask avoiding eye contact.
"Come here Chloe." he says softly as he stops walking.
We weren't that far away from each, but we had an okay amount of distance.
"What?" I ask a bit puzzled by what he said.
"You heard me girl." he says like he was a mom talking to her child before they got their ass beat.
"Okay." I say as I stand right in front of him.
"What's wrong with you princess?" he asks looking at me with pleading eyes.
I don't say anything because I know if I do I probably will start crying. Even though it's been almost a two years since he's been gone it still hurts.
"Chloe please." he pleads lifting my chin up with his hand.
"Can we just go James please?" I ask him with my voice trembling a little.
"Okay." he says with hesitation. I guess he could sense my discomfort with being here.
I knew if I so much have cried on school grounds I would been talked about even more than usual. I didn't want the attention, so I just began walking to where he parked this morning.
He quickly came over to the passenger side, and opened my door.
"I know it's something, but I'll wait until you're ready to talk about it." he says starting the engine, and putting it in reverse.
"Can we go to that place we bumped into each other not so long ago?" I ask him hoping he'll just say yes.
"Sure." he says not taking his eyes off the road.
"What's weighing so heavily on that big brain of yours?" I ask trying to lighten the mood at least a little.
"You." he says simply.
"What about me?" I ask curiously.
"You really want to know?" he asks stopping at a red light taking a quick look at me.
"Um yes that's why I asked Mr. Smart Ass." I say in a playful tone making him smile a little.
"I was just thinking how we've only known each for almost a month, yet I feel like it's been longer.
"Well I guess we feel the same about that." I say with a smile.
"Chloe, you're the only person that I honestly can have a real conversation with.
"J, how much do you think you know me?" I ask seriously thinking about it.
"Honestly I don't think I know a lot, but that can always change I'm open to discuss that with you." he says almost reassuring me.
"Okay, well ask me anything you want to know." I tell him without a clue of what I was getting myself into.
"Who's your best friend?" he asks after a minute of thinking.
"It was Melissa, but now I guess I don't have one." I say truthfully.
"Melissa?" he asks looking at me then the road.
"Yeah why?" I ask.
"Remember when you and I bumped into each other in the hall before we knew each other?" he asks.
"Uh yes what about it?" I ask slightly confused.
"She looked like she hates you. Why is that?" he asks curiously.
"Long story. Can I ask you something?" I ask trying to avoid the subject before.
"Sure." he says.
"Have any siblings?" I ask.
"That's so simply. I have a sister and brother, I'm the middle child." he says with a smile on his face.
"Oh okay." I say because I have nothing else to say.
"What about your family?" he asks looking at the road mindlessly.
"Well I have a sister ." I say not wanting to share anything about my parents.
"What about your parents?" he asks and I feel a little pain in my chest.
"My dad's gone." I say shifting in my seat uncomfortable.
"Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable." he says trying to look at me.
"Chloe do you want to say anything?" my mother asks me struggling to keep her voice from shaking.
I couldn't speak all that I could do was cry. I couldn't believe he was gone. I finally shook my head no.
"Now we will have some of his family members come up and say a few things about him." the pastor says as he stands in the pool pit.
"I would n-never thought such a wonderful person existed he did everything he could for his family. I will always love him. H-he is the love of mm-my life." my mother stutters between sobs.
After about an hour it was finally time to really say goodbye. That's when everything hit me.
"Daddy?" I called out once I was alone. I longed to hear his voice.
He didn't answer, so it really must be true. He's gone.
"Why? Why him?" I scream as tears fall down my face.
No one answers. I know God can hear me, so why won't he talk to me?
"There's a purpose behind this right God?" I ask looking towards the gloomy sky.
"Chloe?" I hear James ask snapping me back into reality.
"We are here." he says trying to look at me, but before he can I got out of the car.
"Hey what's wrong?" he asks walking over to my side of the car. I wanted nothing more than to be with my dad right now.
"Nothing." I lie as tears unfortunately fall down my face blowing my cover.
"Princess come here." he says making me think of my dad even more.
"Let's just go eat J." I tell him trying to walk away, but he stops me.
"Gimme a hug princess." he says opening his arms waiting for me.
"No, let's go." I say as I roughly wipe my tears.
"Not until you come here." he tells me.
"Stop J people are staring at us." I tell him not wanting the extra attention.
"I don't care let them stare." he says eyeing me waiting for me to move.
"Ugh I don't like you sometimes." I say walking towards him standing on my tippy toes wrapping my arms around his neck.
"You know you like me girl." he says making laugh a little.
"Yeah I do." I mumble.
"Listen to me princess. I didn't mean to upset you. I guess that's what you already down about. I don't like to see you cry. I'm so sorry." he says into my curly hair while rubbing my back.
"It's okay J and stop rubbing my back pedo." I say as I let go of his neck.
"Oh hush!" he says smiling.