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We don't talk anymore
*2 weeks later*
Two weeks since I had that talk with Ryder and Jaxon, two weeks of me showing up school and speaking to no one apart from Athena and guess what? Jaxon moved schools and guess what school he's moved too? Yes you guessed it West High Highschool, the same school as I am yippy me, he hasn't been talking to me, he glances and smiles at me whenever we make eye contact through his smile I could still see how hurt he is I could see his pain ugh
Jaxon is in 4 of my classes everyday apart from Thursdays, Thursdays are days were I take a day of with my volleyball team, oh I forgot to tell you I joined a volleyball team, I've always played volleyball I was captain at Stanford high, Noah is our couch so me and my team get to spend a day with Noah teaching us how to play volleyball, I'm starting to think he's only doing this to check out the girls in our team
Ryder hasn't spoken one word to me since we had our little talk he's in 3 of my classes as for Theo we talk a lot through text sometimes at school but we only see each other 3 times a day considering her goes to collage for his other classes,
As for Mom she's doing great at her work she was has been labeled 'employee of the month' she earns more money now I'm not quite sure how but she's good at doing her job
I found a job at a coffee shop, I know don't judge at least I have a job, anyways I work there part time on Wednesday and Thursday, full time on Saturday and Sunday.
Ding dong
Yep, that is a doorbell ringing
"I'll get it" I say to my mom wait never mind she isn't even at home, she went off with some stranger she met at the coffee shop she said that she Fancy's him, she's acting like a teenager that's found love, aha I wonder what that feels like ugh
I chucked on my jacket cause It was cold
Ding dong
"Alright I'm coming" I rushed to the door
I opened the door revealing Jaxon in his white T-shirt and his leather jacket
"Hey" he whispers
Why is he whispering?
"Why are you whispering?" I ask
"Oh sorry" he spoke in a normal tone
I stood there like I didn't know what was happening I actually don't know what's happening we were just standing there looking at each others eyes
"I umhh, I uhh, can I come in?" He asks
What?
Should I?
Should I not?
"Uhh yea sure"
He nods
"So umm you have a great place" he says awkwardly
Seriously? That's all you have to say? GREAT PLACE? No, I miss you, no I love you nor I want you back?
"Um yea thanks I guess" I say
"Uhm can we talk?" He asks
CAN WE TALK ?
Yea right, We don't talk anymore
"About?" I sat at the couch with him following behind sitting next to me leaving a small gap between us
"Us" he sigh
really?
"What about us?" I say calmly
"Look Lyla" he puts his hands on top of mine making me flinch he notices
"How's is going with um... Thing?"
I gulp
"I uh I -" I stutter
"You don't have to tell me yet, if you don't want to"
PHEW
"So, Lyla I'm sorry that I hurt you, I really am, I didn't mean to, thrust me those weren't my intentions, I love you Lyla I will never do anything to hurt you okay?"
But you've already done that
"I know I hurt you but it was a mistake, you see Allison's mother died the day you saw us, you know in the janitors closet" what the fudge, he cleared his throat, "she told me not to tell, she didn't want you to know that she was hurting because she knew whenever you saw her hurt you always end up hurting more she thought that keeping it away from you would not hurt you considering you've been hurt enough, Lyla she wanted to protect you, she told me not to tell you Lyla, Lyla she was sad and I comforted her, one thing led to another Lyla it wasn't because you weren't good enough it was my lack of self control, Lyla you didn't do anything wrong, you're beautiful and strong, I shouldn't have kissed her knowing I'd loss you, that's why I came here to make it up to you" he explained
I took a deep breath, tears were pouring out of my eyes, he grabbed his hands and put it on my face he ran his thumb with my tears wiping them away
"I'm so sorry, Lyla,please forgive me," he took a big breath
"Its okay if you don't, I understand" he sighs "but Lyla, I love you, just so you know" he says while getting up from the couch
I grab his hands preventing him from moving anywhere he gave me a surprise look
"he broke out of jail" I sigh "John.... He broke out of jail"
He looked at me with confusion and worries
"I uh don't know what to say" he says sitting back down but this time he closes the gap between us, he sits in a Cris crox position facing me
"You don't have to say anything" I say looking straight forward trying to keep a mutual expression
"No, Lyla, its not like that, I just- I don't know, Lyla" he tries to explain but nothing came out "if you're worried that he's going to hurt you, he won't"
I moved uncomfortably fidgeting with the cushions fabric
He moves closer and grabs my face with both of his hands, making us look in each others eyes
Making my heart beat fast but not like it use too
"He won't hurt you, not while I'm around" he says putting his hands down
I nod
He stands up and faces down on me he sticks hand out for me to grab it
I look at it staring at it debating if I should grab it or not
"Com'on, I have a lot of making up to do" he gave me a grin
I grab his hands, he pulls me up making me come face to face with his chest I look up and he gave me a warm smile and I return it
He frowns a little
"Why are you frowning?" I ask
"Its nothing, let's go" he lied
We walked out of the house and got into his car he opens the passenger door and let's me in which was weird cause he never use to this, he then went on the driver side and started driving
"Were we going?" I say putting my seatbelt on
To eat? Because I'm flipping hungry
"I don't know up to you" he replied
What do I say?
To shop?
To eat?
To go to a park
To go to Paris?
I don't flipping know you're the one who dragged me out here damn
"Anywhere" I reply back with shrug
---------------------------------
"What about that time when we went to the zoo and feed the giraffes and I was going to take a picture but just as I took it the giraffe took your hat"he says laughing "I still have the photo in my camera roll, that was the best day" he says licking his ice cream that he bought
I smile at the memory, that day at the zoo was the best day of my life, it was the day he asked me to be his girlfriend, he had roses, chocolates he had everything, he gave me everything, I gave him everything
but I wasn't obviously enough I frown at the thought of him kissing Alison with him and his hands on her, the way he kissed her with passion and she obviously enjoyed every part of it as well, they looked like they were having the best time of there life but I came along and ruined it, I stopped them from being together I was in there way
Tears are starting to flood my eyes, I look up straight ahead where there were kids singing and laughing couples holding each other like there were no tomorrow they were smiling looking at each other with love and compassion,
Tears were stinging my eyes, knowing that I've ruined it all, my life now and then before had no difference but the the fact that now there's no one to hold me and love me
"Hey" Jaxon stops at his tracks grabbing my arms pulling me towards him making me face him I wipe the tears that have escape my eyes and take a big breath
"What's wrong?" He asks with concern, he grabs my ice cream and his own and throws it in the bin near by
"Its nothing, I just had something in my eyes" trying to avoid eye contact with him by walking
He catch's up to me and grabs my arm
"Lyla, talk to me" I keep walking
"Lyla, please" he begs
Ignore
"Lyl-" he says but I interrupt him
"Was I not good enough?" I say cracking at the word enough
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I stop walking and face him looking him in the straight in the eye, with the tears clouding my vision, I blink them away
"Was I not good enough?" I say again but louder
He look like he was taken back by my words, he grabs my arm and pulls me into a a tight hug with his hands around my waist tightly I try to pull away
"Was I not good enough?" I whisper pulling back but he didn't let m, my hands buried in his chest
"Am I not good enough?" I whisper crying into his hard chest
He pulls back putting his hands on my shoulder "Lyla, its not like- " he was interrupted by a dog pissing on his shoe, a white big fluffy dog
"Sorry, but my dog seems to have a habit of pissing on things that aren't worth anything" I look up to see who it was
Jaxon being the bigger person and just roll his eyes and ignores him
It was Ryder, I know it was his because he has a little scar on his super upper chest near his neck
I wonder what happened there, I want to touch it
He saw me looking at his neck so he smirks,I wipe the left over tears from my cheeks and inhaul some air
"Okay, we have better things to do then stand here talking to an embesile and his oversized dog" Jaxon says ntertwining our hands together, I take a sharp deep breath shock at the sudden move, I swallow hard, Ryder's eyes travels to our linked hand,
he then looks into my eyes piercing through me, he notices how uncomfortable I was, making him lick his lips slowly turning it into a smirk
My heart starts racing really fast, I mean REALLY fast I feel like I'm about to past out, my breathing quicken, my hands starts to get sweaty so I pulled my hands out of Jason's grip my throat went dry,
Ryder's eyes were still on mine never leaving it, he smirks knowing how uncomfortable he's made me, he moves his eyes away from mine and looks at Jaxon, he smirks again at Jaxon evilly
"Have fun with your girl and make sure to keep her on a leash or she might wonder of with another owner" he advised and walks away
"You little bi-" Jaxon says charging at Ryder making Ryder turn around but I stop him from walking
"He's not worth it" I try to convince he stops at his tracks and looks at Ryder
Ryder gives him a sad face mocking him then he looks at me, grins then winks
Dickshitbag
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