A/N: the next two chapters are little flashbacks + present moments. Chapter 4 will consist of Y/N and Hoseok's meeting. These next two chapters are important though aha, enjoy!
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May, 2012.
1 year before Bangtan Sonyeondan debut.
Hoseok was having trouble breathing. Air heavy in his young lungs, Hoseok scurried in the living space he grew to call his temporary home. For a brilliant dancer, one would assume the boy would know how to manage harsh breathing. But, not in this moment. In this moment, Hoseok felt faint because of his panicked breathing.
"I-I, well this is," he gulped down, form terrified as he almost tripped over the stalks of clothing that was by the opposing doors of the small place. He cursed internally when noticing that it wasn't his clothing but one of the other members that had just moved in.
Only been about two weeks into this new place, and things were already starting to go downhill. It was hard to live with 6 other people that he barely knew of. But it was for the company...the company wanted the boys to get to know each other and by having them live together before debut was how they were managing to get about it.
"I'll just stand, I really don't need to sit," you reassured uncomfortable, trying your best to put on a smile as you stared over at the stranger that had become such a huge part of your life over the span of about two months.
"You're pregnant," Hoseok said, nervous smile on his lips, "Sit. Sit."
He ushered his hands over to a cushioned part of the ground. Smiling as he cutely moved a hand behind his neck, you allowed yourself to slowly sink to the ground. It was then where you slowly managed to catch an eye of the entire place.
You had never been to the small apartment complex before. Nor had you met the other boys that were supposed to be crowded and living in here. You figured that Hoseok had probably asked them to give you space once you arrived...you understand though. The boy was probably nervous over what they were going to talk about.
"You finally come to terms with it yet?" you asked, smiling a little as you moved your hand cutely over for his nervous form to take.
He smiled, almost child-like, as his black hair dripped at his eyes. Slowly allowing his sweaty hand to move into yours, Hoseok crouched, sitting down as well.
"Come to terms with what?" Hoseok asked, cheeks a little flushed as he moved closer to you when you gently tugged his hand.
Hoseok did, swallowing the lump down his throat. Butt sliding a little on the hard-cold floor, he moved so that his thigh was slightly touching yours. Glancing down at his clammy hand in yours, his body relaxed a little when your thumb slowly grazed the outer part of his palm. Hand resting on your lap, it took him a while to register that you had started to talk to him again.
"The pregnancy," you said softly.
Hoseok swallowed again. Nodding almost instantly, both of you seemed to grow nervous again.
"I'm sorry I panicked when you first told me," he said gently, licking at his lips a little.
"Don't be," you said softly, "It's been a weird couple of weeks."
You smiled a little to yourself at that.
At first, it had taken you a long while to get over the fact that you had had sex with someone in a bathroom stall. That on its own had been shocking to you. But the moment you had started to feel things, missed a period cycle, and experienced the occasional mood swing, you had found out you had gotten pregnant.
Abortion was an option set in mind. You didn't know if you'd be able to single mother...you weren't in the right place, and having this child would not be so great financially either. If you were to have this child alone, you'd struggle and the child would struggle. You weren't ready. With that, you had made the decision to abort the barely spotted fetus within you. It was a hard night. A hard decision.
But then, then something out of the ordinary happened. Throughout all the stress the abortion and baby were causing, you didn't think to try and find the man that had impregnated you in the first place. What were the odds that you'd find a boy named "Hoseok" in all the city? But, out of the ordinary it all spun when you did see him. You found him by a flower shop on the most random street, on an even more random Monday morning.
Catching up was brutal, embarrassing, and awkward for the both of you. It was sweet to see how cutely the stranger (at the time) ate while sitting across from you. You told him before eating and he had the world's most shocked expression on his face for two minutes straight. The boy named "Hoseok" hadn't moved, nor had he spoke.
But that was a 2 months ago, things were different between the two of you now. He was still nervous and you were awkward, but the moment you were to sit next to him or speak to him, you felt amazing. He was not like any other boy you had ever met. Goal-oriented, humble, and so insanely sweet that it hurt you to ever see him upset or distressed. Knowing him for about a month now, you hadn't gotten to know all sides of him, but you got to know a few quirks and beautiful flaws.
Although he embraced the traits of what perfect was, he was still a human with hardships. Hoseok was more than just any boy in your eyes at this point. You respected him a lot. And ever since you met him, the thought of an abortion had started to slip away from your mind. It was hard to, but it still was a matter to be talked about.
So here they were...sitting next to each other in slightly dimmed light. On the floor of the small apartment, hands so normally in each other's.
"We've talked about abortion before," you said hesitantly, snapping out of your thoughts and trying to focus on the hard topic you had come here for, "...and I want to speak about this now. I don't want to procrastinate any longer—I mean, it's a life we're talking about here."
Hoseok nodded slowly.
He was distracted by your hand though. He loved holding your hand.
"What do you think about the situation?"
You smiled a little at that, leaning your shoulder a tad onto the boy's as you stared at the hat Hoseok seemed to be wearing. Eyes slowly roaming over to meet his that stared over at your face, you took a moment to reply. You staring at him, and him never looking away from you.
"I think..." you pursed your lips a little, sweet smile on your face, you moved his hand in yours as you spoke, "I think about you a lot. You're going to be an idol soon, hopefully."
Hoseok smiled at that, watching you cross your middle and index finger before him.
"And with that, you might not be able to have a child mixed into the business," you continued, trying to play around with your thoughts, "You've worked hard to get where you are. I wouldn't want this child to be the reason to hold you and your group members down."
Hoseok's eyes were soft, his lips slowly relaxing and curling into a subtle pout as he listened to you.
"Eventually, it will become a lot to handle for a boy your age..."
"What if I want to handle it?" Hoseok let out softly, eyes searching yours.
Your brows furrowed a little, mouth slowly opening.
"Wha—"
"What if I want this baby."
Hoseok's voice was barely above a whisper. It was as if it was a hard statement to make before you. You didn't blame him for his tone and expression...you understood how hard it must be for him to say something against your mindset that was fixed at this point.
You really didn't think having a child with Hoseok was a good idea.
"It doesn't matter what you want Hoseok...what matters is if the baby can be supported, loved, and cared for without hardship. Stability isn't here, you're a soon-to-be-idol, and I can not raise this child on my own."
"Stability is a very loose word," Hoseok argued softly, "it can mean different things to different people."
"So, what are you saying?" you asked, keeping your voice just as gentle as his.
"We as parents can be all the stability this child needs," Hoseok piped, "He or she will be loved and cared for no matter what situation we're in."
"But, we're not—"
"Ready?"
You swallowed at the look in his eyes. Feeling your heart flutter a little, you grinned when the man nodded lightly, a small smile grazing his lips.
"When exactly are people ready to be parents? Even with all the money in the world—a job and a sturdy house...no one is ever ready."
You smiled at that. Genuine, tired, and soft, you allowed your smile to grow when you rested your chin onto the boy's shoulder. Hoseok seemed to be staring at your still.
"So you're basically telling me that you're not ready at all," you piped, amused. When hearing a defeated sigh escape the boy, you snorted into his neck, trying not to laugh.
"Don't play around," he mumbled, trying not to smile as he shyly tried not to think about you burying your face into his neck.
"Okay I won't," you said gently, "I see what you're saying."
"I'm no way in hell ready," he tried again, feeling you nod so close to him, "...but I'm ready for a challenge."
You didn't say anything.
Hoseok allowed the silence sink around the two of you. All he kept thinking about was the way your body felt against his. Moving his hand out of yours and hesitantly having his arm wrap around your form, you moved even closer into his side.
Cuddling into his neck, you took in a sigh, all while breathing Hoseok in. "I'm just really scared," you lowly admitted, "I barely know you."
Hoseok smiled at that.
"How can I trust you to stay loving this child?" you asked, eyes looking over at his chin and cheek. You could see him smiling from the angle your head rested at.
"You can't," Hoseok said softly, "But I'm willing to prove myself to you and this kid. I won't leave."
You didn't say anything.
Instead, you simply allowed your lips to curl upwards as you stared at the sight of his sharp jaw line before you.
"You won't leave?" you asked cutely, voice soft.
Hoseok shook his head.
You pursed your lips.
"I want this child," Hoseok said slowly, "...and I want you by my side throughout all of it."
Your eyes softened at that. Feeling your heart race a little at that last bit, you watched as he slowly built the courage to glance down over at you by his shoulder. Feeling your insides screaming when seeing his soft eyes glance down to your parted lips, you didn't hesitate when letting your eyes shut once his head slowly leaned over.
Hoseok kissed you and you gently allowed your lips to move perfectly fit with his.
Having your fingers slowly move away from your lap and over to his soft cheek, you sighed against the boy's lips as you continued to teasingly move your mouths together without hesitation. It was soft, sweet, and deep.
The way he bit down on your bottom lip made you regret being drunk behind the bathroom door he had you pressed against a while back. Here you were, almost 3 months after only to share this kiss and understand a bit of what had occurred the night the two of you had drunkenly became one.
Eyes remaining shut when he sucked a little onto your bottom lip before pulling away, you pursed your lips immediately when his soft eyes came to meet yours.
"But I'll choose whatever path you decide to choose," Hoseok said softly, his voice lower than usual when staring over at your lips.
You swallowed, tasting a little sneak-peek of what he had to offer from his mouth as you tried to speak over the harsh pattering of your heart beat.
"I..."
Hoseok's eyes were warm, his exterior patient.
"I'll be by you with or without the child," Hoseok chimed lastly, grinning a little when spotting your cheeks starting to redden, "I've grown fond of you."
"I've grown fond of you too," you chuckled out, squinting your eyes shut when seeing the boy lean in again.
Hoseok gently kissed you again, laughing against your lips when you squirmed away and had his body weight fall a little onto you. Seeing him apologize and slowly hover over you instead, both of you were innocently growing red now.
Breath getting caught in your throat when he allowed you to get comfortable on the cushion he had provided you, his lips slowly moved to hesitantly meet yours again.
Kissing him back immediately, you giggled again when he swore a little when having his knee slip on the floor while trying to balance over you. Smiling when he hesitantly helped your legs move around him instead, he was between your legs now.
Chest grazing his harshly breathing one, you smiled against Hoseok's mouth when he gently and softly allowed you to explore his taste more thoroughly now.
You allowed yourself to be vulnerable underneath the boy.
You trusted him in that moment, feeling the reassurance that this feeling wouldn't ever go away.
You trusted Hoseok. This shy, down-to-Earth, amazing stranger that was no longer much of a stranger. You trusted the father of your unborn child...
"I trust you," you softly said, eyes fluttering open when seeing he was about to start kissing at your neck.
Hoseok froze at that. Smiling the cutest smile imaginable, you watched as he leaned to have his forehead rest against yours.
"So, you're saying..."
"I want this child with you too," you popped out, grin slowly forming when hearing him laugh and engulf your mouth with his out of excitement.
Trying so hard not to burst out laughing at his face, instead, you allowed your happiness cloud your judgement, smiling and kissing the boy that was whole-heartedly about to take more of you away with him. He was important. He wasn't just an average boy to you no longer. He was Hoseok, and he was between your legs, ready to consume all of you and you of him.
I trust you.
.
.
.
.
.
.
PRESENT
2016.
"I trusted you Hobi."
Hoseok had his eyes dart away from the center-piece before him and over to the voice that had interrupted his wandering of thoughts. In a jumpy state, his eyes met the exhaustion behind BangPD's eyes as he slowly sat down onto the table that stood amongst millions of others.
Both sat in a ballroom, waiting and watching as everyone seemed to be working to set up the decorations for the album release party.
"I'm sorry," Hoseok said, smiling a little when spotting the man next to him bring his chair closer, "I was informed Namjoon was talking them out instead. Have all of them ate?"
BangPD rolled his eyes a little over at Hoseok thinking this was about taking out the boys to eat. Sighing, the older man made his point clear. "I trusted you to stay away from PD's little games. He's leaving and now he thinks it's a good idea to bring up old flames from the past?"
"I have a son," Hoseok said lowly, seeing that the man was teasing, but it still didn't sit right with the dancer, "...This isn't just about an old flame."
"Ah, I'm sorry," BangPD sighed out, slowly moving his hand over to the back of Hoseok's tense neck.
"I'm really scared," Hoseok said softly. The man's eyes went over to the center-piece before looking back over towards the rest of the worker's that were setting up the place.
The place was empty now, but by tonight, bodies upon bodies would be present. But the two bodies Hoseok was looking forward to was of his child and the mother of his child. Did that stop him from being incredibly nervous? No. He was in an unbearable state and all the staff knew.
"I would be too," BangPD said slowly, "Y/N thinks this event only consists of staff and your PD...the false invitation read 'a farewell party' when this isn't even that. It's a lie luring your family here and it might not turn out so great. So yes, I'd be terrified."
Hoseok swallowed, his face irritated a little as he looked over at his boss.
"Are you here to make me feel more nervous?"
BangPD smiled at the sudden bark from the usually timid and gentle man. Smiling over seeing just how afraid Hoseok seemed, BangPD watched the man's eyes sink as he slowly apologized and tried to build up his tense state again. Nodding, the boss had his hand meet Hoseok's shoulder softly before tapping at it.
"Whether this lie is a success or a fail," BangPD said, watching Hoseok's saddened eyes move to meet his, "I'll be here."
Hoseok smiled tightly at that.
Chuckling, BangPD pointed over at the huge doors that were open to be entered through. The hall empty and quiet as Hoseok slowly followed the man's finger and stared over at the entrance as well.
"Either way..." BangPD held a smile, still pointing, "you'll be able to see your son walk through those doors."
Hoseok smiled at that, his breath getting caught in his throat. He didn't leave the entrance, trying to imagine how Yeri would possibly look grown now.
"...and you'll be able to finally lay eyes on the love of your life again."
Hoseok's eyes shut at that, stripping his sight away from the door and over to the center-piece again, BangPD softly chuckled at the sudden reaction to him bringing you up.
"What? I say something wrong?"
Hoseok didn't say anything, his eyes fixed on the center-piece that gave him inner-reassurance and comfort.
"You've loved Y/N...it's always been her. If I'm wrong, please do correct me."
Hoseok licked his lips before awkwardly glancing over at the man who was still smiling next to him.
"Am I wrong?"
"I-I," Hoseok got up from his seat in one go, stepping many steps away from the table as he bowed respectfully over at the man seated. "I'm going to finally take the boys out to eat."
"They've already ate," BangPD chuckled out, watching as Hoseok was practically running out from the hall.
"I'll feed them more!" Hoseok yelled over his shoulder, turning at the corner when reaching the open doors before him.
BangPD rolled his eyes. Moving to have his gaze land on the center-piece himself, his eyes narrowed a little when spotting the lilies.