❝Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should go to the beach.❞ -Unknown
dedicated to adanthedoll for all the lovely votes and encouraging comments<3
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"Hello, this is the Fine Apple market, and no we are not an--"
"Are you an Apple knockoff store?"
"What?
"I'm just wondering, 'cause your name sounds like one of those snobby businesses that try to outdo Apple and fail desperately in the process."
"I hate apples, actually."
"What?!"
"They're just too mainstream."
"How dare you?! Steve Jobs was my brother-in-law's great uncle!"
"You could say it's a matter of preference. We sell them, but personally I don't like the taste. I prefer the more exotic types, like mangoes."
"Mangoes?!"
"Yes?"
"I thought we were talking about Apple products--"
"We were talking about Fine Apple products."
"--and you hate Apple, so we can't be friends."
"That's... great to hear. I didn't know we were already friends, but--"
"Well, I mean, technically not--but I figured we were... you know... headed in that direction...?"
"You don't even know what my name is."
"You don't know MY name either, though, so I suppose we're even on that one."
"Seriously?"
"What?"
"You aren't making sense."
"Okay, fine. Since you're forcing me to do this. I'm freaking out over this exam I have to take tomorrow and I've been reviewing my notes non-stop for the past hour to the point where my head feels ready to topple off, and I'm just so freaking nervous and every time I try to focus, my mind starts running away from me and if I don't do well on this test I'm GOING TO FAIL!"
"Whoa, whoa settle down. You need some help from a guava expert on that one?"
"What?"
"Exactly. Personally, however, I prescribe a large dosage of fresh guava juice and some quality sunbathing time."
"How is that going to help me?!"
"Look, babe, I'm giving you what I got, okay? If that isn't enough, well... I gotta go. Talk to you later."
"BUT I NEED HELP--"
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