Timber woke up from an hour-long nap feeling delightfully over-excited. It was going to be such a wonderful evening out with the family and she had been looking forward to it for over a week. She jumped out of bed eagerly and Turned as soon as her fuzzy white paws hit the floor. She put on her black jeans and her forest green sweater, cleaned her ears so her new piercings didn't get infected, and brushed her shoulder-length hair. She grabbed her dark brown jacket and went down to the kitchen. Timber wondered how it was so quiet in the house. Then she discovered Emily wasn't awake from her nap yet. Grace was the only other one on the first floor and she was pouring herself a cup of hot peppermint tea.
"Good afternoon, Timber," said Grace. "Do you want some tea?"
"No, Ma'am, thank you. I'm saving room for dinner. Did you get any sleep?"
"No," said Grace. "I tried but I'm not one to nap so I took the time to clean the outside of the cabinets."
"Of all the things you could do while everyone is asleep, you clean?"
"I know," sighed Grace. "Cleanin' helps me clear my head and cookin' relieves stress. I'm all backward. I could have taken the time to curl up with a blanket and a book. Instead, I scrub cabinets."
"You're fine," said Timber. "There's nothing wrong with you."
"That's sweet of you to say, Dear, but I'm not perfect," smiled Grace. "I'm what you'd call a workaholic. I have to be doin' somethin'. I can't seem to relax. I don't even take bubble baths."
"You sleep, right?" asked Timber.
"Of course," Grace chuckled.
"And you take the time to do your nails?"
"Yes," said Grace.
"Then you relax," said Timber. Grace smiled warmly at her.
"Hello to my beautiful girls," said Chad, happily shuffling into the room. He was carrying a stack of envelopes in his hand. Some of them were already open. He dropped the stack on the counter. Timber was happy to see him walking without his cane after only two weeks. He kissed Timber on her head, kissed Grace on the lips, and looked around. "I'm missing my little blonde, though."
"Your little blonde is still fast asleep," said Grace. "You might want to go wake her up though or we won't be able to leave in time. Was there anythin' good in the mail today?"
"A couple of bills," said Chad. "It looks like the bank is trying to get a mortgage payment out of us even though we paid the full amount for the house upfront. The hospital bill came in too. It's a little steep but nothing we can't manage. We'll have to cut back on spontaneous spending for a few months and we should be fine. I'll figure out everything after the girls go to bed tonight. Oh, and there's a few of what looks to me like Christmas cards from your family back east, and the usual card from my parents."
"They're early this year. I need to send ours out soon. I can do without buyin' my usual brand of makeup and get the drugstore stuff if I run out. If we limit eatin' out to once a month, rather than once a week, we should be fine. In the meantime, I'll get cookies started while you go wake up Emily. Timber do you want to help with the cookies?"
"Yes, please," she said as Chad disappeared back up the stairs.
Timber had recently started working with Grace in the kitchen whenever she could. It had become a way for them to bond and talk about girl things. Grace was as easy to talk to as her own mother, Elizabeth, and Timber felt thankful. She found it easier to open up about things she was feeling or thinking about while she was cooking with her aunt. It gave her something to do with her hands so she didn't feel so awkward. Grace would tell Timber stories about her father, her grandparents, and what life was like growing up in Louisiana.
Timber hung onto every word. Then Timber would tell Grace her stories about Nebraska and new things she learned from a book she had read. Grace helped her measure the ingredients for the cookie batter and Timber did the mixing after she set the oven at the temperature Grace instructed her to. Grace supervised, occasionally making suggestions but for the most part, Timber made most of the cookies herself. Grace put the tray in the oven when Emily came running down.
"Where's your father?" asked Grace.
"I don't know," said Emily as she hugged Timber. "He woke me up and left."
"He's shaving," said Timber.
"How do you know?" asked Grace.
"I can hear the electric razor," said Timber, tilting one ear up toward the master bathroom. "Never mind, he turned it off."
Sure enough, Chad came down a moment later with a freshly trimmed beard and a smile. He was walking with a limp still after Timber took out half of his knee, but he was steadier after Timber had taught him how to adjust his weight around his injury. It was something Elizabeth taught her how to do if she were injured in a fight, so she felt helping him walk better was the best way she could apologize.
"My honey's famous oatmeal cookies," said Chad happily when he inhaled deeply.
"Timber made them," said Grace proudly. "I only helped."
"That's wonderful," said Chad, pulling Timber into a hug. "I can't wait to try one."
"You're goin' to have to wait until the parade," said Grace playfully, kissing his cheek.
Emily took the bowl off the counter quietly while no one was paying attention and sat down in a corner to lick the batter off the sides. She thought no one could see her, but it was apparent that neither Chad nor Grace minded what she was doing. She even tried to sneak the bowl into the sink when she was done but Chad let her know that he saw her. She turned red but Chad smiled and she handed him the bowl.
When the cookies were ready, the family put three cookies each in individual baggies and wrapped them in festive ribbons. The rest were put on plates to be taken to the police and fire departments. After putting collapsible chairs, flannel blankets, and the cookies in the trunk of Chad's van, the family got in and headed to the police station on Cypress Street first to deliver the cookies. Then they headed to the fire station on Main Street to deliver a plate to the volunteer firefighters. The men and women at both stations were happy and appreciative to see Timber and Emily coming to bring them homemade treats. They thanked the girls with hugs, let Emily sit in the driver seat of a fire engine for a minute, and wished them all a Merry Christmas. Timber felt a wonderful feeling swell up inside her as she looked at the people in uniform who smiled at something as simple as a plate of homemade cookies.
Next, they went downtown. Timber, Emily, Grace, and Chad walked together down Main Street and Franklin Street, going in and out of shops, and looking at the Christmas decorations. Downtown was lined with lights that were visible clearly in the windows due to the thick clouds and the darkening sky. There were red bows on the street lamps, garland dressed in the windows, and small Christmas trees in the stores. Timber and Emily both got wide eyes when they walked into Spunky Skunk. The toy store had a train table decorated with cotton snow, little plastic snowmen, and a miniature train going on a track. It had gone all out with gift boxes and stockings too. Neither Chad nor Grace could resist getting a small toy for Timber and Emily to play with while they waited for the parade. Their eyes were so wide with joy it made the two people behind the counter smile.
For dinner, Grace and Chad took Timber and Emily to the Piaci Pub and Pizzeria. They shared a pepperoni pizza with pineapple, black olives, and Italian sausage and talked about the meaning of Christmas. Timber and Emily listened intently as Grace and Chad explained the birth of Christ, the singing angels, the people who came to visit him at the manger, and the reason God sent his Son to be born in such a humble way. Timber, who had never heard the story before, was full of questions, and Grace and Chad did their best to answer all of them. She was so fascinated by the story she asked Grace if it was true. Both Grace and Chad said yes and Grace told her that she could read their Bible at home if she wanted to. She told Timber that they would be going to the Baptist church on Christmas Eve and she could ask the preacher as many questions as she wanted to.
As soon as the pizza had been devoured, they went back to the car and grabbed the chairs, blankets, and oatmeal cookies. They set up the folding chairs on the curb at the corner of Main and Laurel in front of Tangents. Chad went across the street to get hot chocolate for everyone from Laurel Deli Cafe and Grace made sure that Timber and Emily were both tucked in tightly and warmly in their bright pink chairs. She fixed Emily's hat so it covered both of her ears and adjusted Timber's scarf so it covered her whole neck. Before sitting in her teal chair beside Emily, Grace kneeled in front of Timber.
"I want to let you know that the parade can get a little loud. People will honk their horns unexpectedly, and the kids will shout. I don't want this to scare you so I'm givin' you a heads up. If it gets to be too much, let me or your uncle know and we'll take you somewhere quiet."
"Thank you for the warning, Aunt Grace," said Timber gratefully. "I'll be okay."
Chad came back with four steaming to-go cups and passed them out. Timber took her hot cup in her hands. The temperature felt wonderful through her black gloves and she took a sip. Warmth spread through her from her lips to her toes and she closed her eyes for a moment with a small smile on her lips. Within a couple of minutes, the street lights and the business lights turned off. The eager parade watchers lined up along the street and cheered and Timber leaned forward in her chair to try and see what was coming.
It was like nothing she had ever seen. She sat in joyous awe as huge trucks passed leisurely by, covered in more brightly colored lights than she could count. There were fire trucks, police cars, tow trucks, semis with a load of massive logs behind them, and pickup trucks hauling handmade floats all covered in colorful, dazzling Christmas lights. Christmas music came from each vehicle, some shot out fake snow, and people dressed as Santa's elves passed out candy canes. Then she heard Emily squeal in excitement. Santa Claus himself was coming down Main Street on a firetruck. Timber and Emily waved frantically at him like all the other children. Emily laughed and bounced in glee as Santa waved back at her.
After the parade, it took a long time for the euphoria to wear off for Timber and Emily. They were both talking excitedly about the parade and their favorite floats. Emily was telling everyone how amazed she was that Santa came down from the North Pole to be in the parade. Both girls were so sugared up on candy canes, hot chocolate, and cookies, neither of them wanted to go to sleep so, instead of going straight home, Chad drove around town so the girls could see the Christmas lights on the houses. He turned Christmas music on the radio and within twenty minutes of driving through town, Timber and Emily both crashed out like a light.
A few days later, the house was woken up after the sun peeked over the Mendocino Coastal Range by a series of flamboyant squeaks. It was Christmas morning and Emily could not hold her excitement in even if she tried. She bounced on Timber's feet and yelled so loud, Timber woke up instantly and moved so fast, she hit her head on the headboard behind her.
"Timber! Wake up! Wake up! Santa's been here! Santa's been here! Wake up, Timber!"
Timber sat up but as soon as she tried to look at Emily, the excited child was vanishing through the hallway to her parent's room. Timber could hear her bouncing around on the bed and shouting enthusiastically. Timber got out of bed feeling happy at first but that brief moment of joy vanished and the weight of reality hit her like bricks. It was her first Christmas without her parents. She stood frozen as reality set in, this Christmas was not going to be the same. She stood there thinking about the last Christmas morning she shared with her parents and all the Christmases before that she could remember.
In the Brogan household, Timber's first gift was at the foot of her bed. It was always a pair of warm fuzzy socks in a bright color. Timber would put them on and go into the living room to see a couple of carefully wrapped gifts under a simply decorated tree. The paper and pinecone decorations had all been homemade and crafted by Timber and Elizabeth. Timber would open gifts while Elizabeth took pictures with her Polaroid camera and Daniel watched from the recliner. Timber wondered what Christmas would be like this year.
As she headed to her bedroom door, a small yellow package at the foot of her bed got her attention. Timber hesitated, and then picked it up. It was modestly wrapped and small. She regarded it for a minute and then opened it gently. Under the wrapping paper was a basic white box with her initials on it written in an elaborate style. She pulled off the tape and cautiously lifted the lid. Inside the box was a pair of thick fuzzy turquoise socks with snowflakes on them. Timber almost broke down in tears of joy but she stopped herself. She pulled them on her feet and walked down the stairs to find the tree lit, a roaring fire going, and four mugs of hot peppermint tea on the coffee table.
The rest of the family was also in their pajamas so Timber didn't feel as bad about not wanting to get dressed. Emily was beside the beautifully decorated live pine tree in the front room by the window. The tree was adorned with neutral colors of silver and gold with a cream-colored garland ribbon wrapped elegantly around the outside of the branches. Glittered ornaments and mercury glass balls lent a glimmering, glamorous feeling. Grace chose to skip the tree skirt for a clean and simple look and to let the lower limbs of the tree brush the floor. The packages around the outside of the tree too, made it look larger.
Emily was waiting as patiently as a five-year-old girl could. Good mornings and Merry Christmas hugs were exchanged and as soon as Timber sat down next to her, Emily dove in. She passed out gifts and then everyone took turns opening their pile. Emily was happy to get everything she wanted for Christmas. For Emily, that meant a week's worth of new dresses with matching hair ribbons and bows. Timber got almost everything she hoped for too. A digital camera and a photo album were possible, and the traditional socks were a very welcomed surprise, but hearing her mother's voice again was the one thing she wanted. That, unfortunately, was impossible. Maybe it wasn't, though. There were socks at the foot of her bed after all.
"Timber, do you like your camera?" asked Grace, seeing the look on Timber's face.
"Of course," said Timber quickly, looking up at her aunt. "It's just..." She curled her toes.
"Your socks?" asked Grace, knowingly.
"How did you know?"
"I know everythin'," smiled Grace. "We do it too. It's a tradition that goes back a few generations when it was all the Brogan family could afford to give each other for Christmas. Even when your grandfather's father brought the family out of poverty at the beginnin' of the Gold Rush, he continued to give his children socks for Christmas. Children wake up to warm socks at the foot of their bed until they're eighteen."
"I love my socks!" said Emily.
"Of course you do," said Timber. "They're pink."
"Pink is my favorite color in the whole wide world!" sang Emily.
"So how did the family get out of poverty?" asked Timber curiously. "Did he hit gold or sell land?"
"He hit gold," said Grace. "Big time. He was one of the first to discover gold out west. He pulled enough gold out of the mountains and rivers that I have some gold bars from that era. When your father was sent to Haven, I was given his portion for safe keepin'. When you're old enough, his portion will be given to you."
"Mommy, I need help," said Emily.
Emily had somehow managed to tangle her pajama button in her hair. Grace untangled her hair and announced that it was time to start breakfast. Timber followed Grace into the kitchen where she was handed a card with a recipe for basic scrambled eggs.
"Think you can manage on your own?" asked Grace.
"Really?" asked Timber skeptically. "I'll try."
So Timber set to work making her first recipe without Grace's guidance. It was simple. Crack the eggs, measure the milk and cheese, mix well, then put everything in the pan and heat it without forgetting to keep moving the eggs. Timber hummed a Christmas carol to herself as she worked. This Christmas didn't turn out so bad. If this was how it was every year, she would look forward to it. While she was still sad her parents weren't able to be with her anymore, she still had Grace, Chad, and Emily.
After breakfast, Grace went upstairs and was gone for nearly half an hour but when she came down, she had a box in her hands. She told the girls to go sit in the living room. Chad pulled out an old VCR and hooked it up to the television. Grace looked at Timber who was watching curiously. She knelt in front of her and grabbed her by the hand.
"When you were two years old, your parents were allowed to leave the gates for an hour to see us and introduce us to you," she said. "Unfortunately, my camera broke during the trip and I didn't have time to replace it. I did have my video camera. I got a little bit of video of your parents with you and all of us together. Would you like to see it?"
Timber's throat closed and she could not find her voice to say yes but Grace read her expression and handed Chad the cassette. He put it in the VCR and pressed play on the machine. For a few minutes, it was just clips of the scenery from the road. They could hear Grace telling Chad how excited she was to see her brother and meet her niece.
Then Timber suddenly shifted forms. Her mother's face was on the screen. She was smiling and laughing. Her bright blue eyes were sparkling cheerfully. Her brown curls were blowing lightly in the breeze. Timber was so overwhelmed with emotions she could not move. Then she saw her father. He was holding her in his arms and smiling the smallest smile. He looked strong and sturdy. His eyes were glistening in the sunlight and his straight dark brown hair was brushed backward as it always was. Timber watched herself meet Grace. She sniffed, wagged her tiny tail, and allowed herself to be passed to her aunt. Then her mother was holding her. Timber whimpered as the video captured Elizabeth singing Timber's lullaby. Timber jumped off the couch and walked to the entertainment center. She put her paws on the edge and looked up longingly at her mother's loving face.
The only dry eyes in the room by that point were Timber's. When the tape ended, Timber protested and Chad rewound the tape some and pressed play again. Timber remained rooted to the spot for an hour while Chad kept the video playing for her. She stayed until she heard Emily ask when dinner was going to be ready. During dinner, Timber was still emotionally overwhelmed. To cope, she stayed in her wolf form. Despite the rule that she had to be at the table in her human form, Chad and Grace allowed her to remain a wolf while she ate. She ate slowly.
When Chad asked her if she was okay, she stopped eating and looked up at him. She left her seat, jumped into his lap, put her paws over his shoulder and nuzzled her face into his neck, and produced a low purring sound from her throat. Chad and Grace smiled and Chad hugged her tightly. Timber now understood that while she would never be able to hug her mother or father again, she had her aunt and uncle and that was the next best thing.