Na realize ko na lang ang katangahan ko ng biglang bumukas yung elevator door. Automatic na naghiwalay ang mga labi namin at pareho kaming napatingin sa bumukas na pinto.
Ibinalik ko ang tingin ko sa kanya. I was still terrified that I had responded with his kiss!
Nanginginig yung mga kamay ko.. pero bakit hindi ako nagsisisi?
He grabbed my hand, pulled me and we got out of the elevator. Marahan ko'ng hinila yung kamay ko mula sa pagkakahawak nya, but his grip is firm. Muli syang naglakad hila hila ang kamay ko.
"Where are we going?" Puno ng kaba ang dibdib ko dahil sa halo halong emosyon.
"To my place. We're not done." Matigas na pagkakasabi nya.
His voice felt like thunder. Authoritative and full of strength.
His apartment is the nearest one in the elevator, at napatingin na rin ako doon dahil doon kamu papunta.
Gulong gulo ang isip ko. I know I should not go with him, na dapat ay dumiretso ako sa apartment namin, pero mas malakas ang hatak ng kagustuhan kong sumama sa kanya.
Pumasok kami sa apartment nya. Hindi na ako nagulat na makalat at amoy pabango ng lalaki ang agad ko'ng naamoy pero nawala rin ang focus ko ng isandal nya ako sa likod ng pinto ng apartment nya at muli ako'ng halikan.
This time, it was more aggressive.
I wanted to stop him, I really do.
But I was enjoying!
Hindi ako magsisinungaling na ilang beses ko rin naisip kung paano nya halikan yung mga babaeng nakakasama nya ditto gabi gabi. Kung paano sila maglambingan at bakit ganoon sila kaingay. It kept me awake for a few nights.
Then he threw me in the couch. Agad ako'ng napahiga at mabilis naman sya'ng sumunod at pumaibabaw sa akin. He started kissing me in the neck. Bawat dampi ng labi nya sa balat ko ay parang may lumiliyab na kung ano sa loob ko. My mind became numb at thinking. He was ravishing my neck like it was the most precious thing on earth.
But a wake up call was made.
Bigla ako'ng nandiri thinking na lahat ng mga babae ni Syd ay humiga na rin sa sofa na iyon.
"Stop." Sabi ko, sabay ng pagtulak ko sa kanya.
He stopped, pulled himself up but his eyebrows furrowed. "What?" He sounded frustrated.
"I-I'm not like them." I said in a low voice. Dapat ay proud ako na hindi ako kasing easy ng mga babae na dinadala nya, pero bakit parang ikinakahiya ko iyon ngayon?
I saw him smirked.. then got up from being on top of me. Tumayo sya at naglabas ng sigarilyo at lighter mula sa bulsa nya.
Dahan dahan ako'ng umupo. Bigla ako'ng nahiya sa sarili ko. We we're just on the elevator a while ago! How come na pumayag ako'ng sumama hanggang sa apartment nya? Ugh! Curse me now!
Tinitingnan ko lang sya habang inaayos ko ang sarili ko.
Naka tatlong hithit buga sya bago sya humarap sa akin.
"I know you're different, sweetie. No need to remind me." And then he smirked.
Umupo sya sa tabi ko at pinatay ang hawak na yosi sa ashtray na nasa table na nasa tapat namin. Agad na kumalat ang amoy ng usok.
Tumayo ako at akmang maglalakad na papunta sa pinto ng magsalita sya.
"I like you, Andrea Angelique." He declared all of a sudden.
It made my heart skipped a beat.
Nilingon ko sya. "What?" He knows my name?
He chuckled then got up. "I like you."
Now it's my turn to smirk. I heard it right. And i already heard it multiple times already. "That's what all they say."
"Not all strangers know your name." He cocked his head on the side, looking cool at this point.
Napalabi ako. "You're crazy."
Tumiim ang tingin nya sa akin. "I'm serious."
Hindi ako nagsalita. Ano ba naman kasi ang dapat kong sabihin?
"Give me your phone." Utos nya.
"Why?" I asked, getting it from my pocket.
Imbes na sumagot, inagaw nya sa akin yung cellphone ko. May idinial syang mabilis at biglang may tumunog na ringtone. Nilabas nya mula sa bulsa nya yung cellphone nya at ibinalik sa akin yung cellphone ko.
"Save my number." He said, not looking at me. He's busy at his phone now.
"And why would I?" I'm still flustered because of what happened. All the sensations I felt.. parang may kuryente kanina. At parang nabigla yung katawan ko dahil para akong nanghina.
He looked at me. "You'll just know." He shrugged his shoulders. "So.. are you gonna go or should I make you stay?" He wore this enticing smile that made me bit my lower lip.
I nod. "Oh, alright."
I marched out of his apartment.
I threw myself into my bed the moment I entered my room.
I cursed myself for being so careless. Damn.
It wasn't my type to be enticed by just someone.. Specially someone I just knew by name!
Ano na lang sasabihin ni mommy sa akin? Pakiramdam ko ang cheap ko.
Wait.. as if she'll knew. Wala ako'ng balak I kwento sa kanya ang kagagahan ko.
Hindi pa ako tapos mag maktol sa sarili ko ng may nag text sa cellphone ko.
Unknown number.
Gin and Tonic. We should have some drinks soon, sweetie.
And by that endearment, I checked my dialed numbers at na confirm ko na si Syd nga.
I replied Pervert.
Says by someone who responded to my kiss on an elevator. He replied.
Sa inis ko ay muntik ko ng maibato ang cellphone ko. Pakiramdam ko nawalan ako ng dignidad! But come to think of it, it doesn't seem bad dahil hanggang doon lang naman ang ginawa namin. Pero paano na lang kung hindi ko naisip yung mga babae nya? Papayag ba ako na sya maka una sa akin?
Napa iling ako sa naisip ko.
I'm making myself intact until I found that someone worth giving for. Hindi nya kailangan maging fiancée ko, asawa or what. I can't speak for myself in the future. But just someone who deserve to be my first.
And I'll just know it when the time comes.
"You're glowing."
Nilingon ko si Marco ng magsalita sya. We were in the bleachers of the soccer field in the campus. Hapon na at wala pa kami balak umuwi. I was carrying my shoulder bag and he's carrying his while we were sitting and watching other students on the field.
"What?" Salubong ang kilay na tanong ko.
He laughed. "You're funny." Tapos umiling iling ito.
I grabbed his hand and punched it halfway. "As if you're not?"
Ha laughed again. "Something's different about you. Tulala ka, pero naka ngiti. Is there something I should know?" He was grinning like an idito.
I laughed, then sighed. "Nothing important." I shrugged my shoulders.
"Nothing's not important. C'mon, Andrea." Pamimilit nito. Marahan nya pa akong siniko.
Ano ba gusto nyang sabihin ko, na nakipag halikan ako sa elevator sa lalaki na sa hinagap ko ay hindi ko alam na makakausap ko? That he's a manwhore who has a long list of girls he brings in his apartment? At na isa na rin ako sa mga babaeng naidala nya sa apartment nya?
Umiling lang ako. "It's complicated. Gusto ko kapag natauhan na ako, tsaka ko sasabihin sa'yo."
He rolled his eyeballs. "Right. Sabi mo eh." He opened the bag of chips he was holding and we ate.
Binuksan ko naman yung bote ko ng softdrinks at inilapag sa tabi ko.
Naging busy na kami sa panunuod sa mga nagsa soccer. Hindi naman talaga ako interisado manuod, nagkataon na magandang tambayan sa bleachers, may hangin at tuwang tuwa sa pag piyesta sa mga abs ng soccer players si Marco.
Paubos na yung chips namin ng lumapit sa amin si Lay.
Lay De Leon is actually one of the most well known student sa campus. Why? Aside from the super good looks and being stinking rich, captain sya ng basketball team at sunod sunod na ang panalo nila sa mga inter school tournaments mula ng maging captain sya.
And yes, talaga namang magaling sya, at yummy.
Pero hindi ko sya type. I don't like jocks.
At bakit namin sya kilala?
Pinsan sya ni Marco. They're first cousins.
"Hey." He said. Tumabi sya sa akin.
Sanay na ako sa presensya nya kahit papaano and we talk casually ever since Marco introduce me to him.
He's in his usual attire. Different shade of violet or puple shirt and a skinny pants. Kala mo hindi basketball player kung pumorma.
"Oh, tapos na practice nyo?" Tanong ni Marco.
Nagkamot ng ulo si Lay. "Dismissed kami ng maaga. Buti na nga lang. Wala ba kayo gimik?"
Umiling kami ni Marco. "Better luck next time, cousin." Natatawa na sabi nya sa pinsan nya.
Tumawa lang si Lay. His dimples is really something to look at whenever he smiles or laugh. May eye smile din sya kaya hindi na kataka taka na sa itsura pa lang ay hindi na talo sa lalaki. He's the boy next door type.
"Fine. Uuwi na lang ako." Kumaway sya bago kami iwan.
We saw other students talking like madcaps when he left. Tipong kinikilig pa rin kahit papalayo na si Lay sa bleachers. We see his sexy back as he was walking. Isa na rin iyon sa mga kinasananayan ko na. Hindi ko naman mapipigil na kiligin ang mga nasa paligid kung gusto talaga nila si Lay.
"Hmm. The Lay effect." Marco said laughing.
"Sinabi mo pa," Naiiling na sabi ko bago uminom sa bote ko.
"How come na wala kang gusto sa kanya? Or you're just saying that?" He gave me an unknowing look.
Muntik na ako masamid sa tanong nya. "For Christ's sake, Marco." Sabi ko bago umubo. "Hindi ka ba makapaniwala na hanggang pag swoon lang talaga ang nararamdaman ko para sa pinsan mo?" Then I laughed.
"I was just asking." KIbit balikat na sabi nito.
"Like I said, he looks good, but I don't like jocs." Kibit balikat na paalala ko sa kanya.
We went home after a few more inutes.
Idinaan ako ni Marco sa tapat ng building namin as usual. I was tugging may bag with me when I saw a familiar face. Si Syd.
Nakatayo sya at naka sandal sa wall sa gilid ng entrance. And he was looking straight at me. Pakiramdam ko nag jell-o ang tuhod ko. That look makes me wanna run to him and just look at him and admire his gorgeous features.
I plan to ignore him and I did this with all my will power, but when I was about to go in, he caught my arm and tugged me closer, dahilan para mapalapit ako sa kanya at magdikit ang mga katawan namin.
"What- Ano ba?" Medyo pumiglas ako dahil sa pagka gulat. Lumingon lingon na rin ako dahil baka may tao sa paligid. Shit.
"Missed me?" He asked.
Before I even reply, his lips slammed into mine.
Did I really missed him and his lips that I responded to his wanting kiss in no time? Gusto kong mag protesta. I shouldn't be kissing him. Hindi kami. Wala kaming relasyon at nasa public place kami for Christ's sake!
But all of those thoughts drowned when the feeling of familiarity of his kisses caressed me. Bago ko pa mamalayan, yung kamay ko na hindi nya hawak ay nasa likod na ng ulo nya, pressing his head closer to mine.
Habol ang hininga namin ng maghiwalay kami. He was still clutching my arm when the kiss ended.
And then his lips curled into a smirk. "You missed me that much, huh?"
Napahiya ako. Bakit ba kasi ganito ang epekto nya sa akin? I feel like losing my mind whenever he's near. This is so not me. This should not be me.
Tinanggal ko ang pagkaka hawak nya sa braso ko at mabilis na pumasok sa building.
Dahil sa frustrations ay paulit ulit ko na pinindot yung button para magbukas yung elevator.
"You're gonna destroy the button." Nasa gilid ko na pala sya. Hindi ko namalayan na sumunod sya. And now, he's standing next to me.
His hands were in his pocket. Just his presence next to me makes me want to run into the room where I can't see or hear him. This is insane. Masyadong malakas to'ng attraction ko sa kanya.
"Shut up." Matigas na tugon ko.
Hindi nga sya nagsalita. Nakatayo lang kami sa tapat ng elevator.
And why the hell does the elevator takes forever to open?!
I kept my breathing steady. Ayoko mahalata nya na parang nasu-suffocate ako just by his mere presence next to me.
The elevator door opened. Dali dali ako'ng pumasok.
And yeah, pumasok din sya.
I tried to be far from him as much as possible. Halos isiksik ko na ang sarili ko sa dulong kanto ng elevator basta malayo kay Syd. Nasa kabilang corner naman sya, nakasandal at nakatingin lang sa akin. Umiwas ako ng tingin dahil para akong hinihila tuwing nagtatama ang mga mata namin.
I was bitting my lip when he said something.
"You know you look really sexy when you're biting your lip like that, right?" His voice resonated all over the elevator.
Agad ako'ng napalingon sa kanya. He was half smiling, and his eyes were looking straight to my lips. Dali dali ko'ng tinanggal sa pagkaka kagat ang labi ko.
He chuckled. "Come here." He said.
"No." Agad na sagot ko.
"Don't be stubborn Andrea." He said playfully.
"I'm not!" I hissed. Pumadyak pa ako.
Then he strated walking towards me. In three steps ay nasa harapan ko na sya.
Hinapit nya ako sa bewang, then just like deja vu of our first kiss, I tasted his lips again, at the same place where he kissed me first.
Oh God.
What exactly this boy has that i just can't control myself?
Just like the last time, the elevator door opened and our lips parted.
He smiled. "See you around." He got out of the elevator first quickly.
I was stucked for some seconds. Gumalaw lang ako ng pasara na ulit yung elevator door, then I got out. Pasara na yung pinto ng apartment nya ng makalabas ako. Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig bigla.
Bakit parang na disappoint ako na hindi nya ako kasamang pumasok?
Pinukpok ko yung ulo ko.
Silly. Gusto ko ba talagang ma devirginized ng wala sa oras?
Sa sitwasyon na ito, being near Syd is the last thing I need. Pakiramdam ko nagiging sobrang daring ako kapag malapit ako sa kanya. And it's not a good thing.
I inserted the key to our unit and went in.
I felt my lips the moment na naka pasok na ako sa kwarto ko.
May iba ba syang babae na dadating kaya hindi nya ako ininvite?
I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT.
Nakakainis. Nagseselos ako. Sabi nya he likes me tapos puro ganito. Damn.
I opened my laptop and logged in to my twitter. Doon ko ibinuhos lahat ng frustrations ko.