That night when I was back at my apartment the TV was buzzing with the new photos of Nick and I at the game. The three they had released was the fatal shot of us kissing, Nick with his fist in the air, and us sitting coziliy before the kiss talking.
The volume was down, so I didn't have to hear what host was saying, but I got to stare at the kiss for a whole thirty seconds and I just wanted to-
I jammed my thumb into the power button.
Grabbing the couch pillow closes to me, I slammed my head into it releasing a long shrilly scream.
"Easy there, killer," Ruby said strolling in. When I lifted my head, I saw her giving me a my-roomate-is-crazy-but-I'm-not-going-to-say-it look.
I sighed. "Can we just watch the next episode of Downton Abbey?" I whined, wrapping my arms around my stomach.
"Wanna talk about it?" she asked, falling back next to me on the couch and propping her feet up.
Yes. "No," I groaned.
She tilted her head from side to side, wieghing the situation. "Well, if you want to watch TV you're going to have to turn it back on."
And I tossed the remote back to her.
When the Tv lit up again the picture popped up one more time before switching to commercials and I rolled my head back, wishing I could just sink into the couch.
"YOU KISSED NICK FREAKING JONAS," she said. More of a statement then a question.
"I said I don't want to talk about," I replied, not looking to her but the commercial that was showing now.
Ruby slammed her hand down on the table, here eyes wide. "COME ON," she groaned. "You kissed Nick Jonas and you don't want to talk about it?" She snorted. "He can't be THAT bad of a kisser."
"That's the point," I wailed, and threw my face into my hands.
I couldn't see the red head, but I could feel the look of realization showing on her face with a simple, o- shaped mouth. My chest ached inside and I desperately just wanted to forget the whole thing happened, forget that I had thought he liked me.
"You felt something... didn't you?" she asked. I heard rustling and felt her skinny pale arm wrap it's around my shoulders, like a protective drape.
Pitifully, I nodded.
She sighed, resting her chin on the crook of my neck. "Happens to the best of us," she murmured.
I shook my head, dropping my shaking hands. "It's just- we were talking! And the conversation got deep and I talked about Sean, and how he- you know..." I sighed. "I just told Nick how he left me for someone better. And then Nick was all like-" I turned my best guy accent on. "- 'oh, there's always someone better." And then he kissed me!" I threw my hands up. "He KISSED ME and then jumped up like it never happened!"
Ruby took a big breath through her nose. "Well, that's men for you. Draw you in and then ditch you. He probably doesn't understand what he did though," she said and leaned back on the couch. "Boys are like that you know? Completely oblivious to our feelings."
And Ruby was right. There was no reason to blame Nick when he was just doing his job. Acting like a total drama queen was not going to get me anywhere. All I could do was just pretend in front of the cameras and then live my life when they aren't there.