-Surilyn
It has been two years since someone has spoken to me. And now here comes this strange character. This boy I have never seen before. Obviously he is new. Although something about him was attracting me to him. I can't get over his face with his captivating eyes, his dazzling smile and his wonderful kindness. I knew I swore to myself I wouldn't be the same and never open my heart to any one but damn, he is tempting me, trapping me in hole that I can not escape from.
I wasn't sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing.
Just as I was reaching the end of the street, a car pulled up to the curb and I nearly jumped to the sky, leaving my heart expose on the cold ground. I froze when the very boy I was just thinking of climbed out of the car like an angel that has fell from the sky. ♥
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." He said apologetically. I narrowed my eyes, searching his handsome face that possessed those beautiful green eyes. I composed my face, erasing the fright that formed within me. I was glad it was him rather then a stranger.
"Would you like a ride home?" The boy offered me kindly. "It's pretty cold out." He added trying to convince me.
I just continued stare at him. I knew he was a nice boy and he was sort of giving me lovey dovey vibes I couldn't resist. The only problem was, I didn't know him. He could have bad habits or worst, he could be a weirdo. Although the more I think about it, those feelings from class today are starting to grow deeper. I really wanted to introduce myself but I chickened out. Now here we are again. I had to talk to him.
He waited with a longing expression. What should I say? After all he'd be the first boy I would talk to other then Wilson my band mate. Though, Wilson was different, he understood the sorrow and pain my heart was in and left me alone.
"I don't talk to strangers." I answered harshly with out thinking. My face washed in embarrassment. That's the best I could say. Great! Now I ruined my only chance to talk to a decent boy again. So I just walked away.
"Wait . . ." he called out. I halted as he caught up to me. Once again we were face to face. "I didn't mean any harm." The boy protested. "It's really cold out." He reminded me caringly.
I thought it was sweet of him to offer me a ride home but I prefer to be left alone. I don't even understand why he is trying to talk to me.
"I am fine. I don't mind the cold, really." I smiled lightly. He just looked at me with such admiration as if I was the only one standing in front of him. That made me smile even more so I though I'd introduce myself. "I'm Surilyn. It's nice to meet you Gregory."
He beamed beautifully at me. "It's nice to meet you too." He said. I held my hand out waiting for him to shake it. He shook it lightly and instantly pulled away. Just from that single touch, he sent an electric shock of tenderness throughout my whole body. I was tempted to wrap my arms around him just so the feeling would never fade away.
Wait, why was I feeling this way? I feel so alive and open all of a sudden. This boy was defiantly impacting me like a fast moving storm damaging all the sorrow and pain in my soul and leaving love in its tracks. How? I just met him today.
"I uh . . . I should get going." I told him softly.
"Um okay, are you sure you don't want a ride." He asked, walking backwards.
I thought about that for a second. A ride would sound nice. Maybe I can get to know him more. Ask the question I would like to know because Gregory seemed very sweet. Yet again, maybe I should just stay away from him. Be a distance friend, just to save my heart from heart break. "I am sure, see ya tomorrow Gregory." I waved goodbye and began to walk away or I'd never leave.
I waved once more as he drove past me. My stomach started doing back flips, swarming with a million different feelings. My heart danced with liberation as it spring to life. Strange! The last time I felt so drowned in love, I was with Derek.
Derek had become everything to me and the one person I could confide in with absolutely deep secrets. Until my sister, Maleen, vanished off the face of earth and I almost died. I made the choice to leave him. I just couldn't find the energy to think, let alone eat. How could I love him back? My sister disappeared, taking my soul with her. I was miserable, alone, torn and most of all I was devastated. Every night I would go to sleep hoping she'd come home with Daisy and Violet.
Though, she never did.
She never returned to the place we called home.
My parents finally accepted that she was no longer alive and that she rest in heaven with my niece and nephew. David's family agreed as well and accepted "the loss." They held a service for all three of them and for Daisy and Violet. David and I were the only ones who believed she was still out there and refused to attend the service. My mother thought I was going insane. She tried hard for me to believe that my sister was gone and that May wouldn't want me to live in the shadows of the past. Never! Never would I stop believing my sister is out there and even though they closed her case, I'll never let go. I know my sister and she is a trooper. I sense her heart. After all we were like twins from the core.
However my sister's absent took a major toll on me. I isolated myself from everyone in school. Only Audrey and Zeyana visited from time to time. I promised myself I'd always be their best friend but my life formed into a rotten pit of death and I wanted nothing to do nobody. Slowly my parents started to use their jobs as an excuse to get away from the house. I like to say they abandon me with a load of cash and forgot I existed. Liz and I basically shared this big old stupid house together.
David went insane-well not literally-but you get me. He too believes May is out there. I haven't seen him much though. He still calls and checks up on me, updating me. About a year ago, he hired a private detective to find her. Though he doesn't tell me much because he doesn't want to fill my head with hope. Only Liz and I know of his doings.
Derek got over it a week after the funeral and threw the past over his shoulder. Slowly we started to go back to how we were in middle school but only worst. I was actually alone. He doesn't even look at me. He walks right past me as if I never existed either. I told him I needed time to regain my heart but he just pushed me away and said he wanted nothing to do with me. I look at him now and I can't find the boy I once loved. I won't say it's all my fault because I told him sorry till the word burned every time I spoke it. Now for the past two years I have watched him date girls and not care if I watched. That broke my heart.
I was young then but I am older now and I know better of love. I promised I'd never let the number one murder of all time kill me and it was love.
That night as I lay peacefully for the first time in my bed, I thought of the new boy Gregory. He was really sweet. I should have taken the ride with him. I froze my butt on the walk home. I bet if May was here, she'd tell me to go for it. I could already hear her silly voice in my head, making mocking kissy faces to me. I sighed closing my eyes.
* * *
I woke to the winter sun, shining in my room brightly. The sun's warmth reminded me of May's heart. I felt happy for some sudden reason. I jumped out of bed with such energy, brushing my teeth and washing my teeth happily. I wanted to dress beautifully but sexy. So I picked a short cute dress and some how pushed my terror for heels aside and put on one of May's cute black heel boots. I let my hair fall in long waves. I was ready to face my fears.
I felt awkward standing in front of the mirror. My image was the spitting resemblance of Maleen. Miss high school queen.
I tried to take calm steps down the stairs but tried to look cute while I did it. Ugh, now every reason why I hated heels was coming back to me. I had to fight the urge to turn around and change into something comfortable.
"Suri is that you?" A voice called out. I recognized that voice. It was dad. I froze following his voice.
"Yes," I chirped. How weird was it for dad to be home, sitting in that spot just like the old days.
"Suri sweetie, you look beautiful." Dad noted in amazement.
"Thank you," I said with a halfhearted smile.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"I just took some time off." He hugged me closely. I wrapped my arms around him and instantly his sweet scent surrounded me. I missed this so much, me feeling like I had a family to run too.
I took a step back and looked up at my father. He still looked like the father I loved two years ago. "Where is Liz?" I wondered, glancing around, hoping I spotted her. Oh would she get a kick out of my sudden transformation.
"She just stepped out." Dad said and took a seat.
"Oh, well tell her I drove to school." I told him, heading to the back door.
"You're going to drive?" He asked more surprised then a question.
"Yes." I said and paused to look back at him. "Why?" I narrowed my eyes, searching for his objection.
He shrugged his shoulders and said, "Pick whatever car you like." He winked and went back to causally reading his paper.
I just remained shocked. I had a feeling this day would be a good one.
I switched the garage light on and observed the cars my father had. My favorite was his convertible. The shine black paint was what caught my attention. I grabbed the keys off the hook and didn't waste time to roar the car to life. I took a deep breath, putting the car in drive and left to school. I can do this. I mentally told myself.
As I drove, I wasn't sure I could do this no more. I wasn't strong to be a beauty queen. I just wanted to turn around and hide in my room.
"Relax . . ." a soft voice whispered in my mind. I instantly felt calm within. I could feel the courage soaring in my heart and the braveness of my soul pulsing deeply with courage.
When I reached the school parking lot, I felt like the center of attention. Everyone's heads snapped into my direction trying to see who was driving the car. I immediately parked and shut the engine off, taking a deep breath. Here goes nothing. I stepped out feeling like a celebrity. I tossed my hair over my shoulder and locked my car.
I saw Audrey and Zeyana glance in my direction with a surprised look but amazed to see my sudden change. I gave them a small smile, receiving one in return and continued to head towards the school. I ignored the eyes that denied my love. He no longer mattered. Close to the school entrance, I noticed Gregory with his friends. Although I loved how his eyes were glued on to mine. I smiled my best smile, waving and continued to walk on. I felt like a goddess as people stepped aside to let me pass. I couldn't help to roll my eyes though. There was no need for special treatment. It was just me.
However, I didn't pay much attention and headed straight towards the music room. This was a place were I spent most of my time practicing and playing the piano. Mrs. Gonzalez always likes to brag that I am like a college student and the next Beethoven or at least a descendent. I could never tell her how I felt playing the piano, how much emotion I drained when I let my fingers swam across the keys.
I tossed my bag next to her desk, capturing her attention. She dropped her pen in surprise as I did a full three sixty for her. Her face lightened up with joy and she shot from her desk.
I laughed when she took my hand and made spin once more. "My, my, you look beautiful Miss Suri." Mrs. Gonzalez complimented giving me a warm tight hug. "I love it." She kissed my fore head and stepped back admiring my new look.
"Thank you," I said with a cute wink.
"Okay," she said clapping her hands together. "Too work, you have to practice for the Christmas Show."
I nodded already two steps ahead of her. I sat quietly in front of the piano gently resting my hands over the keys. When I started a play, instantly a memory fluttered into my mind. I remember when I gained a passion for playing the piano. My father had dragged me to one of his stupid business events, demanding I should be there. The first thing that caught my eye was a young girl who looked like she was in her early twenties. She sat like doll playing the piano with elegance, such beauty and dedication. I sat there and watched her play song after song. I admired her extremely and was memorized by the way her fingers danced across the keys like a snowflake dancing in the sky. Or almost like a feather drifting above the water.
The melodies she played one after another surfaced memories of my sister and I that I thought I had forgotten. They were just memories that meant absolutely the world to me and if I was giving the chance to pull those memories from my mind; I'd create them into a movie and watch them for a lifetime.
I concluded my warm up and drifted the melody into the Moonlight Sentara. Mrs. Gonzalez was amazed at how quickly I mastered the piece. Everything about the song, I put my heart and soul into and crying many tears, tiring my hands just to perfect this piece. It was filled with such dark bittersweet emotions. Every time I would practice a spring of hope would bloom within my soul. It made me believe my sister was alive. I know she is.
My heart wouldn't rest till she returned home.
My mind drifted to Gregory's face. He had a perfect smile that held me prisoner yesterday; beautiful green eyes and a gorgeous face that left me mesmerized. Smooth hair I wanted to run my fingers through. I wanted to know more of him. He was the one only boy that has caught my attention. Now, for some reason, I wanted to love again. Spring my heart into compassion, strap it with affection and never let go of the feelings. I think I deserved that considering the one person I loved abandon me.
He broke all his promises. Smashed the love that held our future into pieces. It was a future we were building together. He never looked back. He never said a single word. With drew me from his life completely. Now I am tortured to watch him walk with his little girl friends. Watch him be the popular boy of the school and have a perfect life as nothing in the past has every happened. I hate him. I wish he never stole my heart.
"Suri, Suri . . ." Mrs. Gonzalez said. She squeezing my hands and brought me to a stop. I realized I was crying. I glanced up at her as her eyes filled with worried.
"I thought I was summoned to the underworld the way you shifted the music." Mrs. Gonzalez studied me with a concern look and raised her hand to wipe a tear away. "Are you alright?" She asked.
I remained silent. I wasn't sure how to answer.
"Is it about your sister?" She continued to question.
"No," I murmured.
She rubbed my back gently and gave me a light hug. "Wipe those tears away. No one has to know that you're suffering. It's time for homeroom."
I stood up, wiping my tears away. "Okay," I whispered.
"I'll see you after lunch, young lady. Don't be late" She said firmly and then grinned.
I chuckled softly and smile as I reached for my bag. "Yes mom." I joked. I heard her distance laughter as I exited the room. I froze for a second as Derek walked hand and hand with his ugly cheerleader girlfriend, Cathy Price. Oh how they mad an ugly couple.
I sighed and turned away. I had to let him go. He was not my life anymore. We were no longer one. It was time for me to soar with the wind and be free just like I always wanted. I knew exactly what I had to go for. Gregory Martin. The person my heart was asking for. What did I have to lose?