Quick Note: The photo on the side is of Suzanne (Kaley Cuaco), Eddie (Chace Crawford), Evan (Joe Manganiello) and Sonja (Olivia Wilde). Enjoy =)P
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Tuesday at work is not much better. There is a lot of the same piecing together my websites for the Cooper and Terry accounts. The anger simmered below the surface, but I refused to give into it.
Suzanne is nowhere to be seen. Figures she would hide out. Well I have seen her, but she has avoided being anywhere near me and it’s a good thing she did. Eddie has begun conducting some questioning of all our web designers about this ‘glitch’ to try and find the culprit. I knew it was Suzanne, just needed proof and the how.
I recruited Stacy to try and gather any Intel from around the office that I could use. I had a tech guy coming in, per Eddie’s orders, to look at my computer and redo its security measures. They would probably do that with everyone because if someone could get into one computer they could do it to anyone else. This puts other peoples work at risk. I hope she realized the problem she has caused. Maybe that is why she is laying low.
On my way back to my office for the tech guy appointment, Stacy stopped me and pulled me off to the side.
“What?” I questioned.
“I found out something interesting,” she exclaimed.
“Okay,” I looked at my phone’s time. She needed to hurry.
“It’s not much, but Brandy told me that Suzanne stays after hours sometimes during the week the days vary so I don’t know exactly when.”
Hmm that is strange; usually I am one of the only ones who is always out the door later than anyone else at the office.
“I don’t know what good that does me, but I’ll keep an eye out. I have to get to my office; this tech guy is coming to check my computers security.”
“Okay just thought I’d let you know blue eyes,” Stacy winked at me and hurried off back to her office.
I felt childish for asking Stacy to do that. I felt immature for wanting revenge at all. But this was my livelihood. I never have done anything to Suzanne for her to want to hurt me like this. I didn’t understand why she had such a malevolent attitude towards me. Eddie showing a personal interest in me couldn’t be the only reason. Or could it?
I remembered how jealous and hot headed Jerry had gotten when Eddie would smile at me or some random guy would when we were out together. Of course he would jump down my throat and accuse me of being a whore and leading the guys on. I shivered. It had been a while since I thought about Jerry and the abuse.
When I had finally moved out and gotten a restraining order was when he really got scary…following me to work, leaving violent threats as notes in my windshield wipers, creepy messages at work. Plus he made a couple of scenes in public and here.
I had never been one to let someone manipulate me. With Jerry I seemed to lose all my confidence and self-worth. I had it back now and there was no way in hell I am going to let some envious co-worker ruin what I have built here.
Reaching my office the tech guy is already inside starting my computer.
“Hello,” I said slightly annoyed.
“Hi, I’m sorry, Eddie let me in. He wants this fixed right away, I’m Tyler,” he extended a long skinny arm. I shook his hand.
“Uh thanks what are you going to be doing exactly?”
I studied the man being a little cautious of someone I didn’t know working on my computer for security reasons. Tyler is tall with blonde hair that looked like he just rolled out of bed and deep green eyes. He wore glasses and dressed casually, must be an independent tech guy. Eddie I knew had some independent people who did work like this for our company that are contracted from the outside. Too much in-company security can compromise its integrity.
“Well I should be able to figure out when the computer was accessed last before you noticed the compromise,” oh that would be helpful. “Then I’ll be updating your firewall and virus scanner, plus changing all your passwords. No one but you should know them and don’t save them anywhere here only on something only you can access if you can’t remember them. I won’t even see them just have you type them in,” he said matter of factly.
“How long is this going to take?”
“Half an hour or so,” he already was clicking away at my computer.
I sat down in the arm chair on the other side of my desk pulling out my file for Evan and Kyle’s account. I smiled to myself knowing I would be seeing Evan in a few hours. Despite that it is a therapy appointment it still pleased me I would be with him.
I didn’t expect him to act differently with it being therapy. My tension would certainly be eased being around him though. I was looking forward to our date on Thursday too, unsure how that was going to go. It seemed like this would be a real date. Oh God. I haven’t been on a ‘real date’ in over a year. My stomach knotted from the thought.
“I found when your computer was accessed.”
My head snapped up as I jumped up to go around my desk and see what this tech guy is looking at. All I saw on the screen was computer jargon I didn’t understand. A random order of tech-like words and numbers is all I got from what he showed me.
“And?” I prompted.
“Looks like the last access point before Monday morning was Friday night just before midnight.”
My eyes widened. “Are you sure?”
“Pretty sure,” he pointed at a line of data that read out when I looked at only that line a date and time.
I stood up from leaning over him and walked around back to my chair sitting down. How? That was the night of the party. I had left with Evan, was kissing Evan at that time. My office was locked Evan checked, he wouldn’t have lied to me.
Wait a minute. Evan checked and said it was locked.
Did someone sneak in between me and Evan leaving my office and him going back to check? It was the only explanation. They could have locked themselves in so it seemed locked to anyone who might have checked whether it was Evan or not or just night security when the party concluded making sure everything was secure. My office would have seemed locked to Evan.
That means Suzanne at lease saw me leave my office with Evan.
I hung my head down in my hands overwhelmed by the realization and shaking with rage.
“Mam’?”
“It’s Sonja,” I said though my voice is muffled as I held my head feeling dizzy.
“I need you to type in your password now.”
Without really thinking about it as I came back over to my desk I typed in the first thing that came to mind that no one would guess.
“Only a few more minutes’ mam’.”
“Okay, excuse me.”
I stood up and left my office making a straight shot to Suzanne’s.
I didn’t knock just let myself in and slammed the door behind me, barely containing my anger. I slammed my palms down on her desk leaning over to stare her down in the eyes.
“I know it was you,” I growled.
Suzanne smirked. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she sat back in her chair and folded a leg over the other in her too short for work pencil skirt.
“I’ll prove it somehow," I stared her down.
“Oh yeah, what if a little birdie told Eddie you were seen in the privacy of your office with a particularly handsome client,” she countered smiling at me and not in the kind way.
It took some effort to keep from smirking. Suzanne didn’t know the truth, but she could still use that against me. I wasn’t ready to throw Eddie under the bus for a drunken mistake though he deserved it. It sure would turn her smirk upside down. But it would only cause even more tension, so I let it go.
“Good luck trying to prove that,” I said standing back up turning to leave her office.
“Quite the office harlot now aren’t you,” she chirped behind me.
I took a breath, but didn’t turn around to respond, just left her office returning to mine.
“All done mam’…I mean Sonja.”
“Thank you.” I sat down at my desk nodding to Tyler the tech as he left, filing my work.
When I tried to log in onto my computer my hands were shaking. I fisted them, pulling them to me cursing to myself. The rage I had to keep under control. I had never been so mad in my life. She thought she had some counter measure on me.
To anyone else it would look like she did. I knew it would not only hurt Eddie and me, but Evan as well, while he is still my therapist. Only Stacy knew that, but if an investigation for employees fraternizing with clients opened, they would find out. I couldn’t let Evan get hurt like that. The best option right now is silence and I hated it.
*
My feet dragged as I walked into the counseling building today. I am drained from work and burying the anger, keeping up the façade that I didn’t know the truth now. The only thing that kept me grounded is knowing that I would see him soon.
I sat down closing my eyes for the wait after going through the typical ritual with the receptionist that acts like she never recognizes anyone and calmed myself. At least I could actually talk about it with him as a therapist, but something told me not to.
I thought it might spook him from getting closer to me and that I could not stand. I also knew he would think the same thing I did, that even though we know the truth if it got out it could potentially harm both our careers let alone the risks we were already taking. I decided to keep it to myself.
“Ms. Winters, Dr. Jacobs is ready for you.”
The receptionist buzzed me in and I walked back to his office. My heart hammered and I felt the heat rise flushing my cheeks in anticipation. I loved the way just being around him or about to be around him made me feel.
Entering the office I shut the door behind me and turned smiling at him. Evan smiled back sitting in the chair this time outside his desk leaving only the couch for me to occupy.
“Good evening Ms. Winters,” he spoke and his tone had a hint of flirtation.
“Evening Dr. Jacobs,” I responded sitting down comfortably.
He looked absolutely delicious as usual. A white button down, shirt sleeves rolled up a quarter of the way on his arms, revealing flexing musculature on his forearms and gray slacks. My mouth watered wanting a taste, always amazed at his physique and curious how he kept in such good shape.
“How has your day been?” he started right away.
“Frustrating to say the least, but it’s a lot of work piecing together the designs again,” I looked him in the eye almost apologizing for the fact that I couldn’t tell him everything.
“Any news on that?”
“Only that my boss,” I refrained from saying his name though Evan knew who I was talking about. “Had a tech guy come in and figured out someone accessed my computer after I left the party Friday night,” I didn’t want to say ‘we’ being this is in a formal capacity right now.
Evan looked surprised at that, but didn’t say anything about it.
“Well at least you know something; it might lead to figuring out who deleted your work.”
Guilt consumed me that I already knew and couldn’t explain it to him afraid it would push him away. Damn that Suzanne, damn her to hell.
“Yes, but I have other things that make it easier to handle…things that are making me happy…” I didn’t realize I had said it until it was out. I looked at Evan who is studying me as usual. There is warmth in his expression this time.
“Oh how so?” he asks.
I saw his lip twitch. I wanted to laugh because he knew exactly what my random thought spoken out loud meant and he liked it. Oh he liked it, my heart swelled.
“It’s complicated, I’m not quite sure how to proceed,” maybe he would catch on – scratch that, he would.
“Is it personal or professional?” he put his notebook down leaning forward in his chair watching me.
“A little of both.”
“How does it make you happy?”
“Well the comfortable feeling I get around these things, the ease of which I am able to be myself, the way these things look at me and make me feel.”
Evan took a deep breath. “Do you think these things feel the same way?”
“I hope so,” our eyes lock and everything is silent for a moment.
“What’s the complication?”
“That’s the professional part. It’s a risk for me, for both of us, and these things I don’t want to see them get hurt.”
“I would say these things feel the same way professionally, you seem to understand more than you think.”
“So why would said things for example kiss me or ask me on a date?”
Evan smiled then. “In my opinion I also say they feel the same about you personally. The attraction is strong that is obvious.”
My breathing picked up and I felt a tingle run down my spine.
“Yes it is. So do I proceed with caution at least for now until the risk factor is taken out of the equation?”
“That would be best though sometimes…the wait is difficult.”
I smiled at him. Yes this wait is extremely difficult. I hoped we were on the same page because I meant with my therapy. Once that was over with not even Suzanne’s idle threat would matter. At least since he is only my temporary therapist I believed it wouldn’t matter if we chose to pursue…this further. I didn’t want to say relationship yet.
“So a date is not going to complicate things?”
“Oh it does, but these things feel you are worth the risk and the excruciating wait.”
We had leaned in closer to each other throughout this conversation.
“That would please me,” I said quietly and I could feel his breath on my face.
“Those things are glad they please you.”
Before I knew it his lips were on mine softly…just his lips as if he were just absorbing mine. A hand came up holding my cheek gently as he made no more move to deepen the kiss. It was sweet and gentle and I didn’t mind the simplistic kiss. It felt like so much more.
My head felt fuzzy and my heart pounded in my chest. The things this man does to me were divine and so deliciously sweet I could barely handle the overwhelming sensation of it all.
He pulled away.
“These things probably shouldn’t have done that here, but the way you taste is…succulent,” his voice whispered against my lips.
“Believe me the feeling is mutual.”
I flopped back on the couch fanning myself as we both chuckled.