“Elliot” I hissed pushing his sleeping form. Elliot was passed out on the kitchen floor and I was trying my best to wake him up.
“Get up, I need your help cleaning up” I refrained from slapping him in the face and groaned when he began snoring.
The party had been over for about an hour and I was the only one left to clean up. Talia was off hibernating somewhere, while Elliot lay here passed out, and Seth…was nowhere to be found.
“Okay, lets at least get you up to your room so you can sleep in your bed” I mumbled trying to get him up.
“Need help?” A voice came over my shoulder. My breathing hitched as I turned to find Seth shirtless and in basketball shorts. The sight was fascinating but I averted my eyes as quickly as I could. If I wanted to get over whatever this was I was feeling for Seth, I couldn’t blatantly stare at his shirtless form.
“Yes” I said formally, “I believe he is passed out”
“Oh God” Seth grumbled bending to put Elliot in a sitting position. From there he put Elliot’s arms over his shoulders and, using his leg muscles, hefted him up over his back.
Seth turned to me with a grin ready to say something but I didn’t stick around to hear it.
“I will go find Talia” I said quickly walking out the sliding doors.
I stayed outside for about twenty minutes, picking up various cans and bottles before deeming it safe to go back inside. Good, no sign of Seth.
I made my way up the stairs and was just about to open my room door when Seth’s door opened. I froze.
“Hey, Trisha” A high voice whispered.
“Sloppy brunette drunk?” I said incredulously. He actually entertained this dimwit in his room? “What are you doing here?”
“What do you think?” She giggled hopping on one foot to put her black pumps on. I noticed her dress wasn’t zipped up all the way and inwardly cringed. What came next, shocked both the slob and myself.
“Are you crying?” She slurred. I shook my head at her and blinked profusely.
“You’re drunk, you don’t know what you’re talking about” I mumbled slamming my door in her face. I knew that Seth and I weren’t exclusive or anything but I couldn’t help the tug that was playing at my heart. Why did it hurt so badly?
I tossed and turned all night with Seth on my mind. I wished my mind had a delete button and I could just erase the idiot out but I couldn’t. I found myself day dreaming about those intense green eyes and felt my throat constrict. Water, that’s what I needed.
Surely my tear ducts felt like overflowing due to the fact that I had ran around so much at the party and were now trying to over compensate for water deprivation, right?
I began slowly tiptoeing down the stairs and almost did a double take when I saw the state of cleanliness the living room was in. It didn’t even look like there had just been a crazy party in it! I slowly crept towards the kitchen and my jaw almost dropped. It was sparkling! Even with the dim glow the moon set from the sliding doors, I could see that every surface had been scrubbed clean. I silently thanked God for Talia and walked over to the cupboard. Grabbing a cup, I filled it with water from the tap.
“Fancy seeing you here”
“I-I-was just um thirsty…I thought that water would, you know, quench it” I said spinning to meet Seth. He regarded me with a confused look before grinning.
“Okay”
“I gotta go” I quickly tried to move past him but his strong arm came out to stop me.
“Whats going on Trish?” He asked holding me at arm’s length.
“On? Nothing is ongoing as far as I am concerned”
“Why are you speaking like my grandmother?” He squinted his eyes.
“I am speaking normally if you ask me” I gulped.
“Trish” He said, “You won’t even look at me. What's wrong”
“Why do you care?” I snapped annoyed by his caring tone. He wasn’t allowed to inwardly be a jerk and then use that tone of ‘caringness’ to reel me back in. Absolutely not.
“Why shouldn’t I care?” He said softly.
“Because you’ve got the voldemort of all dimwits in your room” I said so quickly that I had no chance to stop myself. Oh God.
“What are you…Oh, you mean Leila?”
“I’ve gotta go” I mumbled pushing past his arms, which had gone slack, and running up the stairs to my room, water forgotten.
“Trish” I heard him groan from outside of my door.
“Why kiss me?” I yelled through the door.
“Huh?”
“Why, Seth? Why kiss me AGAIN like THAT if you were just going to bring another girl to your room?” I shrieked. I heard his incredulous sigh.
“I didn’t bring another girl to my room! She was drunk and I let her crash there” He paused, “While I took the COUCH”
I took tentative steps to the door.
“Trish, just open the door. This is so stupid” He groaned.
“It’s stupid that I feel used?” I said whipping the door open. He stared at me with wide eyes before entering my room, running his hands through his hair.
“Trish…” He began but seemed to have trouble looking at me as he turned to my window before he began speaking again “Trish, I don’t do love or relationships”
“You what?”
“I...I don’t do this. Love. Jealousy. Anger. It’s all the same thing” he said with a sigh. I stared at his back muscles transfixed.
“What kind of person says they don’t do love?” I didn’t even capitalize on the fact that I had never said I loved him or anything of the sort. I just wanted to know what he was getting at.
“I’ve seen love hurt and destroy people. I don’t want to be one of them”
“So you would rather live life empty and alone?”
“If that’s what it takes”
“That’s complete rubbish! Love is a beautiful thing!” I shrieked as he whipped to look at me. I stood frozen as his green eyes bore into mine.
“I was born to a sixteen year old who swore she was in love with her boyfriend. I watched as her parents kicked her out of the house when I was two because they loved her too much to let her slip through the cracks. She worked three jobs in order to provide for me because she loved me” Seth said deadly quiet.
I almost had to strain to hear him as he stared at me, without really seeing me.
“She married a rich idiot who berated her and made her feel less than she was but she stayed with him because she loved him. She moved us out of Chicago to LA because she wanted to be closer to him and finally live a life that she would love. You know what she got instead?” He looked at me then.
“A controlling jerk who doesn’t let her do anything and reigns over her as she cowers in fear. I watched as the man she loves yelled at her for things like the wrong kind of fork to parking her car wrong. I watched as he kept her locked in the house because he loved her too much to let her do anything important for herself, to control her and to show her that she was nothing. “
“I watched as she lived a life so completely opposite to the one she wanted… All because of love”
I stared at him with my mouth slightly open.
“But, Seth~”
“Don’t. Don’t stand there and tell me that love is some beautiful rite of passage cuz it’s not. Love is anger, jealousy, ignorance, spite, dominance, and cowardice…Love is nothingness” Seth seemed to shudder.
“So you don’t love people?” I asked softly.
“No…”
“Not even your mom?”
“I do but that’s different. It’s a different kind of love than I would feel for a girl” he seemed to struggle for what to say next, “I care about girls…I just can’t find myself falling for anyone. Being in love forever”
“Why not?”
“Were you not listening? Love makes you different. It can make a sane person insane. It can make a calm person crazy. It can make a worldly man a poor example of ignorance”
I watched as his eyes darkened and found myself slightly scared. I had never seen Seth like this before and didn’t know what to do or say. He had been through so much, seen soo much and I wanted nothing more than to wash it all away but I was scared.
“Scared of what?” Seth asked focusing on me.
“No…Nothing” I stammered.
“Trish…I don’t want this to ruin us.” He said softly padding over to me, “Your one of the best things in my life right now and to lose that would kill me. You weren’t even in love and the side effects were already clouding your brain”
I tried to grin at his weak attempt at a joke but couldn’t.
“But you’ve had so many girlfriends” I said quietly.
“Being attracted to someone is different”
“Is that why you always lose girls’ numbers?” I asked.
“In part, I guess. Attachment is love in disguise. I don’t let myself get attached” He shrugged
“So no second dates?” I said halfheartedly
A ghost of a smile played on his pink lips, “Depends”
“On what?” I asked as the atmosphere in the room became more inviting.
“How she looks in a bathing suit” He grinned.
“Perv” I rolled my eyes.
He sobered up and stared at me, “Could we just…just forget all of this? I don’t want to feel awkward around you or likewise”
I didn’t know what to say so I nodded my head.
“Good. Besides, you and I wouldn’t work out” He said conversationally. I clenched my teeth.
“I mean, jealousy would kill you whenever we walked outside and females tried to jump me every second. That would be so awkward for you” He said shaking his head sadly.
“Idiot” I laughed smacking his arm.
“Now I’m an idiot? You were practically crying over me a few minutes ago”
My face went blank as I stared him. He, too, noticed the change in my demeanor and looked at me confused.
“Don’t think too highly of yourself” I smirked. His face instantly relaxed and he smiled at me.
“Goodnight, Bleu” He muttered making his way out of my room.
“Goodnight, Mackenzie” I said softly shutting my door.
New chapter:) Dont forget to share, like and comment !
SOTD: NAIVE JEAN TONIQUE REMIX BY THE KOOKS :) (PROBS ONE OF THE ONLY SONGS ON EARTH WHOSE REMIX SOUNDS BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL! THE ORIGINAL IS TOTS CHILL AND STILL AMAZING, I JUST ENJOY THIS VERSION MUCHHHHH BETTER) sTILL ADORE THE KOOKS THOUGH