*Justin*
Thursday
6:39 PM
I shut my book, looking out the window if my apartment and stood up, shoving my hands into my pockets.
It had been a little over a week now, I was still adjusting to being alone again, to actually going to school three times a week.
I missed her so much. It absolutely sucked. Yesterday was the first time I hadn't talked to her since we had taken a break that one time - and that was stupid. I don't even count it.
I wanted to call her now, but I was afraid she was doing homework or something and I didn't want to distract her.
But I should probably head to Mom's anyway...
She was officially moving in with Dad, and that would make things easier for me... At least with worrying about her...
We had one month to go until we knew if the cancer was gone or not - and Dad hadn't mentioned anything to me otherwise.
That's what scared me.
"I'm not going to let you sit in here by yourself you know."
I jumped, glaring at Hunter as he started laughing at me, and then a grin curled on my face while a walked over and gave him a playful punch to the arm.
"One day I might end up killing you." I joked, plopping down on the couch.
"You couldn't kill me. Even if I scared the shit out of you."
"What are you doing here?"
"I told you, I knew you'd be in here thinking about something, so I came to get you."
"Hunter, I just finished my homework. I'm exhausted."
"Fine, then we'll stay here. Talk to me."
"About what?" I asked, looking up at the ceiling from where I laid on the couch.
"Anything. How is she?"
"Having a blast." I mumbled, crossing my arms over my chest.
"That's a bad thing?"
"No...it's just - she's not with me. I knew she didn't need me. I'm kind of mad that she's enjoying it so much. A part if me wanted her to come back - wants her to, but I can't tell her that. She'd get mad and I won't let her give up her dreams for me."
"You know she misses you too...this is Bella. She's probably cried at times when she knows you're not there. She's not going to tell you that because she'd upset you. She's all alone up there, you know it's been hard, and that's why she's called you every night."
"Not last night."
"Why?"
"Homework."
"Homework, or because she was upset and she didn't want to here you crying? She's your girlfriend man, haven't you caught the little things?"
"Of course I have." I spat, running my hands over my face. "But when she's upset she calls me."
"It's a little different now Justin. Don't ask how, but it is."
"Why aren't you a fucking therapist or something?" I chuckled, moving my hand so I could look at him.
"Because that requires schooling."
"But you're good at it."
"I guess...how's your mom?"
"Terrible." I admitted with a shrug, looking up at the ceiling again.
"If Bella asked that question, what would you tell her?"
"That she was ok."
"Why?"
"Because Bella doesn't need anything else to worry about."
"You know Justin, you worry about other people all the time, but you honestly never worry about yourself. Bella wants to worry about you, if she was upset about something and she didn't tell you why, you'd get mad."
"Of course I would. It's frustrating."
"Exactly."
"Well I'm going to see her this weekend. Everything'll be fine."
"Will it Justin?"
"Can we go get something to eat?" I mumbled, standing up and shoved my hands back in my pockets.
"Yeah, sure." He sighed, while I grabbed my keys, opening up the door.
I was done talking.
___________________________
*Bella*
9:17 PM
I pulled my head up from my palms, wiping my eyes with the back of my hands.
I had been fine a few days after Justin left, but I missed him, I missed Jackie, even my dad and brother.
I had been oddly quiet starting school, and I couldn't be, especially with the career I wanted, but I was afraid of talking to people...of getting close to people, and of my surrondings..
I didn't know what could happen here.
But I had talked to Trent a few times, and I didn't forget to mention the fact that I had a boyfriend because I didn't want him to get any wrong ideas.
I loved Justin - but I was also allowed to have friends. Every guy I talked to would not try to hit on me...and I had even met a girl named Jessica who was sweet as can be, same with Rachael, but I had even been quiet around them. I just...didn't trust a lot of people around me.
I finally stood up, walking into closet and picked up Justin's old basketball sweatshirt, slipping it on over my head.
It still smelled just like him - and I was so excited to see him tomorrow.
It was the longest time we had gone without each other this long...and it's one of the hardest things I've ever done.
My phone buzzed on the table beside my bed, and I jumped for it, sniffing quickly so Justin didn't hear. I knew it was him.
He'd been calling me at almost the same time every day.
"Hi buttercup." The cute laughter rang through my ears, making my stomach twist.
"Hi Justin."
"How was your day?"
"It was alright, busy and a little tiring."
"Why?"
"There is just a lot of material in Psychology...but it's really interesting and I didn't sleep very well last night."
"Still getting used to it?"
"Yeah, and I...I don't know."
"No, what is it? Talk to me..."
"I had a nightmare last night, with Manny. I thought it would go away when I came here...I shouldn't have expected it to happen right away."
"Baby, please call me when that happens. I don't care when it is, but call me."
"I don't want to wake you up for a nightmare. It's nothing. People have it so much worse than I do, and it was a little thing."
"It's not a little thing to me if you're upset."
"Have you seen him? Is he around?"
"No Bella. You're safe. I'll be up tomorrow right in time to pick you up from school."
"Really? You don't have class?"
"Nah, not tomorrow. I have classes Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. I packed today and I'll leave when I wake up in the morning."
"I'm so excited to see you." I cracked a smile, hugging myself in his sweatshirt.
"I'm excited to see you too. I hope you don't have a lot of homework. I want to do stuff with you this weekend."
"I've done a lot of it already, we'll have plently of time."
"Good. We'll do something. Are you ok now?"
"Yeah," I nodded quickly, almost assuring myself too. "I'm alright. Are you?"
"Mhm."
"How's your mom?"
"She's alright. She's upset about leaving her house, but she's also excited to go back home...it's actually a little weird...my family living under one roof again...except for me..."
"But you still have your room there...you can stay more."
"Yeah, that's true." I heard him sigh, making me frown.
"Justin...if you can't come up because your mom is s-"
"No, no, no. I'm coming up to see you. I need to see you."
"Ok." I smiled at that, turning out the light beside me and crawled under the covers, hearing him laughing at me on the other end. "What are you doing?"
"I'm talking to the prettiest girl on earth. What about you?"
"Talking to some boring guy - he's putting me to sleep."
"Fine, I'll hang up then."
"No! Don't go! I was kidding!"
"Oh were you, you were kidding?"
"Yes!" I giggled, quickly nodding my head.
"And what makes you think I'll believe that?"
"Justin! Knock it off!"
"Alright, alright. I'm just joking. It's nice hearing your laugh. I love your laugh."
"Well at least that makes one of us."
"You're way too hard on yourself princess."
"No I am not." I mumbled, turning to look at the wall with the pictures of him and I on it.
"Yes you are, stop it. I don't like it. Everything about you is perfect."
"Are we really going to argue about me right now?"
"We will unless you admit you're beautiful. I can argue about this all night."
"Justin..." I whined, my eyes fixed on a single picture of us.
"No, say it."
"B-"
"Say it."
"I'm beautiful."
"Was that so hard?"
"Yes."
"Same old stubborn Bella."
"Same old pain in the ass Justin."
"Love you too."
"I know you do." I giggled again, sinking farther into the covers. "How's Mike and Hunter?"
"They're good. They miss you too."
"It's weird not being home."
"I know, but you're staying there. We'll come to you. I'm sure they'll come up one day soon."
"I'd like that."
"I'll talk to them."
"Are you tired?" My eyes were shut now, the sound of his voice the only thing I was paying attention to.
"No, are you?"
"A little, but I don't want to hang up."
"I can tell you a story if you want."
"Ok."
"Alright...well..."
_________________________________
Friday
1:04 PM
I looked around as I stepped outside, smiling at the familiar car that was parked out front, recognizing the tousled brown hair.
I couldn't help but run to him, throwing my arms around his neck and crushed my lips hard on his, feeling his hands in the small of my back.
Oh my gosh I missed him, I mean sure I knew I had before, but now that I actually saw him here, I realized how much.
"I missed you so much." I mumbled, giggling as his hand slipped up my cheek, his lips now softly meeting mine every few seconds.
"I missed you too. I think that's the best 'Hello' I've ever gotten."
"Good."
I kissed him again, but gentler this time, not wanting to attract an audience.
"We're going out to lunch." He grinned, pecking my cheek before opening up the car door. "We just have to drop the car off."
"Alright." I blushed slightly, slipping into the car and looked up, seeing Trent coming out of the building.
Oh god, please don't come over, here, please don't say anything to me.
I don't need Justin just- you know. Not today. Please not today.
"You ok?" He asked, closing the door to his side after he got in.
"Yeah, of course." I nodded, a smile curling on my lips as he leaned down and captured my lips again.
Yup, that's a perfect way to take my mind off things. Just keep doing that.
"I love you."
"I love you too...should I change for lunch?"
"No, you look great, I figured you'd want to get out of your apartment for a little..."
"I haven't seen you in a while...and I do."
"It's been a record." He whispered, slipping his hand into mine as he pulled away from the school.
"I know."
"So, I brought some of your favorite candies and movies. I thought after dinner you could pick and we could just have a movie marathon."
"That sounds wonderful." I admitted, softly kissing his cheek again.
"I had a feeling you'd say that."
"How are your classes? Do you like them?"
"I do." He smiled at me, nodding his head. "It's a good amount for me right now."
"I'm so proud of you." I squeezed his hand, glancing at him in the rear view mirror.
"Thank you. I wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't for you."
"I don't believe that."
"Yes you do." He sang songed, bringing my hand up to his lips. "How do you deal with all of these people?"
"I don't." I shrugged, looking out the window. "Same as before."
"That's true."
"Shut up." I nudged his arm, rolling my eyes while glancing out at buildings.
"You can't make me. I'm driving."
"I would if I could."
"Later." He winked, a blush flaring along my cheeks.
I had to look down, especially with him laughing.
_____________________
*Justin*
4:27 PM
"Oh my gosh I missed you." I mumbled against Bella's lips, holding her in between me and the door.
"I missed you too." Her arms wrapped around my neck, her fingers raked through my hair.
I pulled away, instead pressing my lips against her neck.
"How much?"
"So much." She giggled a little, letting out that famous whimper.
I slid my hand up her shirt, grazing my fingers along her skin, her head tilting back just enough so I had more room.
After another whimper, I pulled back again, picking her up by her thighs and crushed my lips back on hers, moaning into her while pushing her back against the wall.
Oh I needed this - and I loved that it wasn't only me.
God and she had to be wearing shorts too.
"Justin..."
I grinned wider, sliding my hands back up her waist as her arms tightened around my neck, never letting her break the kiss.
But I had to set her down to pull off her shirt, pulling her back as close as she had been before.
Her hands trailed down my chest, leaving me fumming while moving my fingers along her back, and then she had pulled me down on her bed, both of us laughing before I started trailing kisses.
I unbuttoned her shorts, going to pull them off like an impatient child, but she stopped me, leaning up enough so she giggled right in my ear.
"You have to wait your turn, remember?"
"Bella." It came out as a groan, and fortunately she had taken off my shirt as quickly as I had taken off hers, but she started placing small kisses on my chest, her nails moving up and down the length of my back. "You've got to be joking me..."
"Oh shut up."
"Make me."
"This time I can." She smiled up at me, enveloping my lips with hers while I hovered over her, moving my hand slowly up her leg to her waist - and I took those shorts off. I wasn't going to be patient anymore.
Then again, when have I ever been patient?
My lips trailed down her neck placing soft kisses on her delicate skin. I could practically see her pulse rapidly beating, a hitch in her breath gave It away as I found her sweet spot - it wasn't that hard by now.
Her soft fingers tugged at the ends of my hair letting a throaty groan escape my lips. My hands traveled down her waist and hooked at the sides of her cute lace.
"Cute." I smiled up at her. She blushed and reconnected our lips again.
I slowly slid them down her legs until they hit the floor. Then it was my turn as her little shaky hands tried to pull down my boxers. When I started to see her struggle a little I softly chuckled against her lips and pulled them down for her.
I took her bra and quickly threw it across the room, not even giving a thought to her to it while hovering back over her., softly kissing her cheek before placing one hand on the backboard and the other on her hip. I closed my eyes, kissing her lips once before glancing at her one last time, a nod of her head making me chuckle - we both knew what we were thinking.
I felt Bella's hands on my arms, holding onto them tightly as I kissed her harder. It was like we were making love for the first time all over again.
My hands trailed up her skin as they went to her hair and brushing some of it out of her face.
"I love you. I love..you so much." I moaned, her back lightly arched as she tilted up her head to connect our lips again.
"I love you too."
Seeing her like his and knowing I'm the only one that ever made her feel this good was a rush in itself.
I would love to see us like this. Molded together as one as her legs are wrapped around me. Her soft creamy skin under my tan skin.
And of course it seemed to end too soon, my hand holding hers as I continued to hold my weight just barely over her, carressing her cheek with my other palm while kissing her again, pouring everything into it.
"I missed you..my Bella." I whispered, nuzzling my face into her neck, just like I always did.
"I missed you too."
And we just layed there. Not wanting to get up. Just staying this close to her was all I ever wanted. Screw New York. I just wanted her...forever...
___________________
*Bella*
9:39 PM
"Stay right here." I whispered, snuggling into Justin's chest, smiling as he tilted his head down so our heads were rested together.
"For now I will."
"No, stay."
"Oh Bella..." He chuckled, wrapping his arms farther around me. "You know I'd love to, but I can't."
"I know." I sighed, playing with his hands.
"We have the whole weekend, and next."
"Yeah...I guess so."
"I'll be here." He kissed the side of my head, letting his fingers fall through mine.
"How's your mom?"
"She's...hanging in there."
"Is there anything I can do?" I asked, my eyebrows coming together just from the look on his face.
"No...there's not..."
"Justin, if you want to talk to me ab-"
"No Bella, it's our first time together again. Let's stay happy. I don't want to get upset...or you getting upset."
"Alright," I weakly smiled at him, letting go of his hand to cup his cheek, moving my thumb against it gently before I rested my forehead against his. "But I'm here when you want to."
"I know." He smiled back, enveloping my hand in his hand and kissed me.
It was so soft...and gentle...the kind where nothing else mattered and you just wanted to stay there forever with time frozen...
"I love you Justin."
"I love you too Bella."
I cuddled closer, curling my hands up to his chest and gently pressed my face into his neck, breathing softly as his arms tightened around me, his lips rested in my hair.
I wanted to lay here forever - for him to stay here forever. It felt so...peaceful.
The best part might have been that we didn't have to talk, and I don't mean that in a bad way...I mean he was just showing that he loved me. We didn't have to say it to feel it.
"You smell good."
"Well I hope so." I felt him kiss my forehead again, "What do you want to do tomorrow?"
"Anything, as long as I'm with you it doesn't really matter."
"We can walk around until we find something to do. I know we will."
"I like your hair down like this." I whispered, reaching up and combed it out with my fingers. "It's different then you having it all up."
"That's because I took a shower and there is no point in having it up."
"Oh trust me, I know you took a shower."
"You didn't hide the fact that you were staring at me when I got out."
"Should I?"
"I mean you did blush pretty good..."
"Because you caught me."
"You catch me all the time. I don't blush."
"Because you don't care if you're caught." I nudged him, laughing lightly into his chest.
"This is true."
I closed my eyes, sliding my arms around his torso and let out a breath, tuning out everything else around me.
"Are you ready for bed already?"
"Already? Isn't it like ten o'clock?"
"Oh my goodness, come on." He stood up, taking my hands and shut off the tv, pulling me behind him to my bed and crawled in after me, the familiar warmth of his chest against my back while his arms secured around my waist.
"I'm not that tired though, just talk to me."
"About what?"
"I don't know, anything."
"We can talk about you."
"What about me?"
"Well you're beautiful, and you're sweet, and you're talented, and-"
"Justin!" I giggled, feeling his lips tickling my neck.
"It's true."
"You're a dork."
"Yeah, you like to tell me that a lot."
"It's not a bad thing!" I turned in his arms, tracing his lips with my finger. "I love it."
"Somebody has to."
"Can you imagine Christmas time here? It's going to be so pretty. I'm going to have to get a job."
"You're thinking about Christmas already?"
"It's my favorite holiday...and you know what?"
"What?" He asked, leaning closer, enough so our lips were almost touching.
"It's going to be our first Christmas together."
"Yeah, it will be. You're coming home, right?"
"Yeah, I'll be home for Christmas - and thanksgiving...but odds are you'll be with your family and I'll be with mine."
"We have time to figure that all out."
"I should really start looking for a job though...I'll probably look around on Monday after you leave."
"Make sure it's something you can handle with school too - and that still gives you time for Justin."
"There will always be time for you."
"Good." He mumbled, giving me a tug on my waist so I was closer.
I really wanted to talk about his mom, about how he was doing...and every time I tried he didn't want to...he got quiet...he barely even said more than a few words about it.
I didn't want to upset him...I just wanted to know.
_______________________________________
*Justin*
10:48 AM
"It's actually starting to get cooler up here." Bella said, looking around while taking a sip of her coffee.
"It shouldn't be too much different from Washington." I told her, slightly swinging our hands as we walked through the park.
"Oh yeah, I know. I just like my shorts."
"So do I." I winked, while she gave an eyeroll, nudging my arm.
"Yeah, well we all know why you like them."
"Wait here," I told her, eyeing a flower bed in the park and looked around, letting go of her hand to run over to it and plucked one up, walking back over to her and held it out in a slight bow. "For my lady."
"Thank you." She giggled, trying to hide the blush while ducking her head down, but I tipped her head back up by slipping my finger under her chin, pecking her lips a few times before we shared a longer one.
I didn't care who was watching - at all. They could take a picture for all I cared.
I could stay in New York forever.
______________________
Monday:
11:19
"Hi, you're Justin, right?"
"Yeah," I nodded, slowly arching my eyebrow and tightened my grip on my pencil, looking at the brunette that stood in front of me. "How did you know that?"
"You're in my English class."
"Oh," I mouthed, nodding my head once and stood up, just holding my text book and my folder in my hand. "You're uh.."
"Angela." She smiled, making me slightly uncomfortable."
"Oh, cool. Justin - but you knew that."
"I just wanted to let you know there's a party at my house tonight, if you wanted to come."
"Yeah, maybe..." I nodded slightly, rubbing the back of my neck with my palm. "It just depends what I have going on. Where do you live?"
"Mount Vernon Square? Is that familiar?"
"Yeah, that's right by my old house."
"Ok, awesome, here." She motioned to my folder, and I opened it, handing her the pencil in my hand. "Just at eight o'clock."
"Alright." I nodded again, weakly smiling at her before I closed my folder. "Well maybe I'll see you tonight."
"Ok."
I walked away then, knowing I had to go home to help Mom unpack some of her things at the house - she was out of her apartment.
I didn't know whether or not it was a good or bad thing.
Odds are I'd find a way to go to this party - I'd bring Hunter with me, because I did not want that girl to get the wrong idea. I had Bella, that's the only person I would have.
She'd be so mad at me if she found out I was even considering going.
Hell, she still didn't know about the two other parties I had been to, let alone the fact that I had drank AND had smoked weed.
I just couldn't tell her...she'd cry...and she's so happy in the city, even if she misses me sometimes and the rest of her family, she's still adjusting there. I know she loves it.
But I have so much going on right now, one night isn't going to hurt, it obviously hasn't the past few weeks, and I didn't have class tomorrow, so I had time to recover, plus Mom had all of the rest of the family now at home to help, it wasn't like I'd just be leaving her with no one else around.
One night wasn't going to hurt.
____________________________________
*Bella*
11:54 PM
"Alright, you guys have two weeks to work on these pieces and get them recorded, just check with Trent to see when he can work with you. Good luck."
What? Trent was the one helping us with recording?? I mean not that it's a bad thing...it's just - I don't know.
He knows I have a boyfriend, it's just lately with our classes and everything, I really thought he was hitting on me most of the time, and I know sometimes I probably hadn't said the right thing, but...
"You can have it first if you want." Trent plopped down beside me, grinning while everyone else was disappearing to go to the piano rooms or guitar rooms, while I was too busy thinking to even move. "The studio."
"Oh, thanks." I returned the smile, closing up my notebook and pretended to be busy with my pencil.
"So..how's um...J..J-"
"Justin." I finished, feeling my stomach twist a little in my stomach. "And he's fine, why?"
"Just wondering. Have you seen him?"
"Yeah, he was up this weekend, and he'll be back on Friday...hopefully."
"Hopefully?"
"His mom is just having a lot of problems right now, and he said he'd be up, but anything could happen. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much."
"Oh I'm sorry. What kind of problems, if you don't mind me asking..."
"She has breast cancer, but he doesn't talk about how she's doing much. I'm hoping she gets through it - for his sake."
"Yeah, I hope so too," He nodded, standing up beside me. "Maybe we should go find an instrument so you can start writing and it doesn't look like we're wasting our time talking."
"Good idea." I nodded, standing up with my books and followed behind him out of the room into the hallway.
"Have you been able to see the city a lot?"
"No, not really actually." I shook my head, hugging my books to my chest. "I've been pretty busy, but I've been here a few other times."
"We should go. I haven't had time either - but we'd go as friends of course. I wouldn't want your boyfriend to get upset because you're hanging out with me, and if you don't want to I completely understand."
"No, no, no," I shook my head, walking into one of the rooms with a piano that was empty. "I do, definitely, as long as it wasn't over the weekend because that's the only time I have with him."
"I was thinking today. This is your last class, isn't it?"
"Today? I mean yeah, I only have two a day..."
"If you want. It's up to you."
"Ok." I nodded, smiling wider at him, then looked away quickly as I blushed.
"Awesome."
Justin wouldn't mind. He's a friend - and he has friends too.
______________________________________
*Justin*
8:17 PM
"How was your day?" I asked Bella, sitting outside in my car.
"It was good. I have to write a piece for my music class and it's due in two weeks...I'm kind of nervous for that...and I have to do some stuff for English...but today wasn't that bad. What about you?"
"I found out today I have to read a book - like what the hell?" I chuckled, knowing that she was rolling her eyes at me on the other end.
"Well duh, it's English."
"Yeah, but I thought at least I wouldn't have to read an actually novel - I mean this isn't high school anymore."
"Unfortunately that wasn't the case...are you home?"
My eyes widened for a minute, and I looked up at the house off in the distance, then down at my hands.
"Yeah, I'm home - I mean, at Dad's."
"Did everything work out?"
"Yeah, she's settled in - so is Lily, and Jazzy loves it."
"Aw, that's good. And you're mom is ok?"
"Yeah, she was smiling today, walking around a bit more. It's good that she's around people again."
"Good, I'm glad she's better."
"Did you go around to look at any places you wanted to work today?" I asked her, sinking down a little lower in my seat.
"Oh...uh, no actually. I went out and explored the city for a while."
"By yourself?" My eyes widened again, but this time it wasn't because I was lying, its because I did not want her outside in New York City - by herself - at night - or whenever she went out. I just...didn't trust that place.
"No...my friend Trent with me."
"Trent? Who's Trent?"
"I've told you before, he's in my English class..my psuch class, and my composition class."
"I don't remember you telling me that."
"I have...I just hadn't seen a lot yet as much as I've been here...and I didn't have a lot to do today, so-"
"We had all weekend. You didn't want to go then?"
"Justin, it's not that. It wasn't even my idea, he brought it up and asked."
"You could have said no."
"That's terrible, and he's my friend. It's not a big deal Justin."
"I didn't say it was."
"You're acting like it."
"Obviously this guy wanted to go out with you, have you even told him about me?"
"Of course I have Justin! He knows I have a boyfriend. Am I not allowed to have guy friends?"
"I never said that." I held up my hands in surrender - even though she wasn't there. "I just don't like that you went 'exploring' the city with him because he wanted to."
"So what? I had fun. You're jealous over nothing."
"Me? Jealous? HA!"
"That's exactly what this is. Why are you being like this?"
"I'm not being like anything!"
"Yes you are!"
"I have to go. Mom needs me."
'Justi-"
I hung up, opening up the glovebox in my car and put my phone in there, grabbing my keys before I got out and locked the door behind me.
Fuck Trent.
____________________________
:)))))))))))) I got some help from @jbieberfanficsx for their love scene, as for everything else...well the whole chapter - what'd you think????
DUN DUN DAHHHH :)