(A/N: I’m deeply sorry for not updating for a while but Uni has been stressing me out and suffocating me with exams. Luckily, I have a bit of a long Thanksgiving break so that’ll give me some time to quickly type up some nice chapters for you all. And those celebrating Thanksgiving this week, I hope you have a great one and I hope you all stuff your faces and those who do not celebrate this holiday . . . still, stuff your faces with food because why the hell not?! Thank and as always, enjoy!)
Maz’s P O V
“Huh . . . ?”
Wha- she cut me off.
“Y-you want to break up with me?” she hinted.
My eyes widened in shock. Fuck.
N-No, it’s just that yunno-
“Just give me an answer Maz” she said swiftly.
Marceline, I love you but-
She whisper-gasped, “you do” she asked with her eyes slowly overpowered by her tears. The intense stare she’d give me was depressing.
Marceline, I’m broken, I’m shattering and I’m afraid; not only for you but for me as well.
Her stare was hard to decipher. She looked like she was shattering inside but slowly trying to keep the pieces together. She looked like she was dying but still trying to fight to keep her composure. This isn’t what I wanted to do but I need a break; from everything.
“I understand” she interrupted my thoughts. Tears slowly started to roll down her pale, cold, cheeks. One tear fell on her burning red lips. She didn’t bother wiping them away. I felt as if she wanted me to see how much I was breaking her. As if she wanted me to feel what she was feeling. Like she was gripping my emotions and pulling them in to mend with her; to share the pain, if not fill me up completely with ache.
What? I breathed. Her words hit me like a wave.
“I understand, go. Leave.”
Are you-
“No, I’m not sure Maz. But I’m not gonna hold you back anymore. What you just said, saying that you need a break from me, makes sense and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for holding you back all this time. I’m sorry that you might shatter and break because of me. I’m sorry for being like this, believe me, it wasn’t my intention” she hinted, her face still expressionless and drained in tears.
“I don’t want you to be with me for pity. I’ll stop desiring you if you want me. I’ll do anything to keep you from breaking and if this is the real remedy to it all, so be it” she shuddered with her beautiful eyes now losing its color.
I was never with you for pity Mar-
“Goodbye Maz” she stated. Her words hit me harder this time. I never wanted to hear her say that to me but I what else did I expect?
I wanted at least a last kiss or a last hug from her before I leave but that’ll make things harder for the two of us; way harder.
I walked backwards, still looking at her. Each step I took, the color of her soul drained into me. Each step I took, a small whimper escaped her lips. Each step I took shattered her . . . and it shattered me. As I continued making my way to the door, backwards, I’d see her fight herself. I’d see her grip on the sheets or bite her lip or hold her breath but she knew very well that she couldn’t stand up and hold me back. She respected my decision as much as it pained her.
I opened the door behind me and finally turned my back on her and left.
I let her go. I let her go. I let her go.
Goodbye Marceline, I hinted to myself as I made my way out of the hospital.
I have to get my head straight and myself health back up again. I have no intentions on finding another girl, only in finding a brighter future. Fuck going to school, I don’t have the skills for that shit. I’m gonna be a man that she deserved to have; a man that can defend themselves against all odds. I won’t be made a fool of ever again.
Marceline’s P O V
I love you, I hinted before I burst into tears. I was such an idiot for doing that to him, for making him feel like he had to stay with me. He didn’t have to do anything like that, all he had to do was love me. Now I feel like all I ever do is hold people back. I pull them into my life and then into my problems and before you know it, they’re stuck to me. I’ve done this to everyone in the past, especially Matthew. All I want is a friend but no one can be there for me as a whole. There’s always a catch.
But not anymore, I’m not going to let this happen anymore. I don’t want people to stay with me because they feel like they’re obligated to. I’m gonna start with Dave, he’s been a wonderful Dad to me but I too must get my shit together.
I’ll continue on with my education and my art project. I’ll try to make what’s best of my senses and keep moving. I don’t have any intentions on finding someone else to love, only to learn to love myself. I’ll keep in touch with Dave, I won’t ever forget him. I’ll visit every once in a while, and when I explain this to him, he’ll understand.
I’ll be fine . . . I’ll be fine.
I picked up my cell phone and called Dave, he must be worried sick.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Marceline, where are you?! Are you two okay? Where’s Maz?!” Dave shouted.
Dad, I’m fine. Well, I’m fine now but I’m in the hospital by Lander’s Rd.
“What?! What happened?! Never mind me, I’ll be there in five minutes!” he yelled and hung up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dave’s P O V
As I pulled into the hospital’s emergency road, I spotted a dark brown, curly haired head walking out. I squinted to clear my wonders and long behold, it was.
I honked my horn twice but he didn’t even bother to pay attention to me. Instead he plopped down on a bench and cried. What if something happened to Marceline whilst I was coming here?
I jolted out of my car and ran to him, hoping things weren’t as I seemed.
Maz, what happened to Marceline?! Why are you crying out here and not in there? Did something-
“I let her go” he sniffled, still looking down and not daring to look me in the eye.
What do you mean, you ‘let her go’?
“I broke up with her Dave, I’m sorry” more tears streamed down his face.
I wasn’t mad at him. After all, it’s not my relationship nor is it my place to decide their fate. I’ll give him an ear and hope that’ll help him but first, my daughter.
But tell me, is she at least alright? What happened?
“She lost her senses last night whilst we were on our date but she’s fine now. Well, she still can’t see too well but she can hear you and if you speak, her eyes will locate you and try to look into your eyes” his voice cracked.
Alright tell you what, you wait here ’til I’m done talking to Marceline and then you and I may have a chat somewhere at a café or something; sound good?
He nodded with not a word and continued to cry, I let him be and I walked inside waiting for my little girl, my darling, my pride . . . Marceline.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There I stood in front of her door. I didn’t dare to look past the glass windows, I’m not sure what I was going to deal with.
I slowly turned the knob and stepped carefully inside, trying not to frighten her.
She noticed me walk in, for her head turned to the direction of the door and gave a hopeful expression. One that I was sure she’d hope the person standing where I was, was Maz and only Maz.
And there I saw my sweet little angel, drained and ready to die. Her red, tear-stained cheeks, her lips no longer red but blue, almost purple, her eyes . . . almost the whitest/palest shades of blues, greys and greens, her body . . . slowly being consumed by the color grey and the blue feeling of depression.
Marceline, are you okay sweetie? I knew very well she wasn’t but I just had to hear her voice.
“Daddy?” her eyes widened up a bit. She sat up straight waiting for my respond. And as she did, her eyes started to water up, her lips quivering, her body shaking; waiting and craving warmth . . . any warmth to be fair.
Yes sweetie, it’s ‘Daddy’.
She burst into tears and cried loudly, “Daddy, he left me! He left me because I held him back Daddy! I didn’t mean to and because of my stupid selfishness, he hates me!”
Shh, shh, he doesn’t hate you hunny. He hates what’s happening around him, you aren’t at fault. Plus, he isn’t used to all this and believe me he doesn’t hate you.
“He promised to never leave me Daddy! He didn’t leave me because of ‘him’, he left me because of me! This is all my fault, I shouldn’t have people get too close to me or else I’ll end up holding them back!” she cried.
No, Marceline, that’s not the case here. There are different people on this planet who have different personalities. Maz, let this happen to him, he could’ve been strong and avoid it affecting him but it isn’t that easy.
“No, Dave . . . this isn’t the message I’m trying to send here” she hiccupped.
What do you mean?
“I’m moving out of your flat Dave, thanks for everything but I simply can’t hold you back either and there is nothing and no one can do or say to hold me back; I have made my decision and I’m gonna stick to it. I’ll still go to school but I’m going to concentrate on it all. I’m gonna try to move on from all this, I have to. I’m not going through that depression state again” she cried.
I’m not letting you do that Marceline, you need someone to take care of you incase this happens again! God forbid you lose your senses and someone tries to do something to you, what then Marceline? You’re certainly not gonna continue with your education if something like the hospital or even death holds you back.
“Please Daddy, you gotta let your little girl go” she uttered.
I just-
“Please? I’ll still visit Daddy, I just have to do that one thing for myself. I have to recuperate my sanity” she wept.
Well I guess this is when the parent lets go of their child to continue living their life. This is the hardest part of being a parent. I know Marceline isn’t my real daughter but it sure feels that way. It’s now harder the second time around. I had to let go of Darlene, my actual daughter and now her. But if it’s for her successful future, then so be it.
Alright Marceline, Daddy will let go of you but I’ll still be by your side for everything and anything. I breathed out, trying to hold the tears from falling.
“Thank you, I knew you’d understand” she sighed.
This might be a stupid question but, will you be alright?
“I will be” she hinted. I walked over her and hugged her tightly. I knew this wasn’t gonna be the last time I’d see her but it sure feels that way.
She wept into my chest and there we stayed still, ’til she tired herself.
Sweet dreams Marceline, I kissed the top of her head. She nuzzled her nose into her arms and fell into a deep sleep.
I stepped out of the room to talk some more with Maz.
-----------------------------------------
“So in the end, I think we’d be better without each other. I mean, I’ll still have a special place for her in my heart but I have to focus on myself now. During the start of our relationship, I learned that it was all about her and not me. I’m not mad with her nor am I blaming any of this on her but I’m mad at myself. I’m mad at the fact that I stop living my own life when I’m with someone. I have to learn to control myself and in order to do that I have to distance myself” said Maz.
I see.
“I don’t want you to hate me either, I’m sorry about all this. Everything you’ve done for us has gone to waste. I’m deeply sorry for involving you in all this mess, for nothing”
No need to apologize Maz, its life. But do me a favor?
“Anything” he looked me in the eye.
I’m truly sad that you’re leaving but since you are and since you broke Marceline’s heart as well as your own . . . do me a favor and don’t ever come back.
“Wh-”
She’s hurting as much as you are and you’re the only one who caused it. I don’t want to sound mean but it’s best if the two of you don’t ever cross paths again. She’ll keep her distance and so should you; it’s the right thing to do.
“But I-”
Broken hearts lingering around each other will not mend either of you Maz. There’s no point for your presence to be in her life and there’s no point for her presence to be in yours.
He nodded. “Tell her I’m sorry” he hinted as he stood up to walk away.
I sighed, I’ll see but do me another favor and take care of yourself Maz.
He didn’t say anything and neither did I. The only thing to do now is hope for a brighter future for the two of them.