A/N: Really Quick note! I wrote the end of this chapter to a song. (Actually I didn't know how to end it, until I heard this song.) So I made a small note *music*. When you see it you can listen to the song I wrote it too (Not necessary of course, just for ambiance!)
Look up "My My Love, By Joshua Radin.
Drowning
And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you'd never ever forget these images.
I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me - A Fine Frenzy
It had been three days since we had all arrived in Romania. Three days since I refused to even look or talk to Zak. I did my best to avoid both him and Keane, but then again it had not been very hard to do. Zak, Nick, Aaron and Billy had all been so busy since the day we got here with meetings for the upcoming investigations, and to make things even stranger, Keane was now part of their little group.
One of the big places the guys would be investigating was Vlad's old castle. The place was now a museum where you could get a tour. The castle was open to tourist but never to paranormal investigators, so this was a huge deal for the guys. But the owner of the castle had several concerns and was even talking about backing out. So Zak immediately sought the owner out and they had been working on details.
Actually today was my last day to myself, tomorrow the guys would start some local research and they wanted me to come along. Nick was acting as the messenger between Zak and I, and I really felt sorry for him. It was like we were back in elementary school, and telling someone to have them tell the person the message you had. I knew I was being immature about this, but I was so angry at Zak right now. Every time I thought I had calmed down, all it took to flare my temper back up was to think of Keane's smug smile as he walked into the airport and Zak defending his presences.
On the flight to Romania, Zak had tried to explain himself but I wouldn't listen to him. I might have been a little harsh and should have at least heard him out, but the truth was I was just so sick of everything; I didn't want to listen to people's excuses anymore.
I walked around my room with a sigh. I was so bored. This is not how I had imagined my first trip out of the country would be. The weather had been very dreary and I had not been able to do much looking around. Wet snow and rain was all that seemed to fall from the sky and I was having a hard time adjusting to the cold climate, so I found myself holed up in my room for most of the day.
Although my room was extremely charming. It was nothing like the hotel rooms in America. We were staying in a very old, long building. It used to be multiple small shops according to the owner in the early 1200's. When the current owner bought the building he made it into a large hotel. My room was on the highest floor, the third floor. Parts of the ceiling were slanted near the walls. It was quite a large room. I had a small love seat in the corner with the TV, and a tiny kitchenette area. I even had a fireplace, which was where most of my heat came from. It was a very cozy room and romantic room, to bad I wasn't in the romancing mood.
But today the sun was out and shinning and I decided it was a perfect day to go strolling through the small town we were in. It was a quaint little village that dated back to the eight century. The roads were all cobblestone and the architecture of the buildings was remarkable.
I dressed in jeans and a nice warm knitted turtle neck sweater. I also got out a warm jacket to wear. I probably didn't need it judging by how people were dressed outside but anything less than sixty-five degrees was too cold in my book. I set off on my journey to explore the small village.
I had breakfast at the most charming little café where the woman who ran the place had sat with me and told me of a few spots that I needed to visit and that were in walking distance. After a delicious tradition Romanian breakfast of cold cuts, fresh fruit and eggs, I brought up a map of the area and set off. I didn't get very far; I was so enthralled with all the buildings and the amazing architecture of everything. I took hundreds of pictures of statues carved into the stone of the buildings, of spooky gargoyle figures and Gothic scenes.
By the time I made it to my first stop it was already almost noon. The woman at the restaurant told me about her cousin's museum which held many personal artifacts that used to belong to Vlad himself. I thought it would be interesting to see what was there and if there was anything useful for the guys here. The woman had been right, the museum did not disappoint. From personal jewelry to weapons, the museum had it all.
When I left the museum, the sun was sinking low into the west already. It was obvious that it was late autumn, the days were much shorter and even though the sun was out, the air had a chill to it. I found myself walking down the small cobblestone sidewalks that lead to the outskirts of the village.
The walk was so peaceful and calming. I had hoped to maybe sort my thoughts and my feelings but I couldn't bring myself to think of Zak or all the drama that was surrounding me right now. The village was far behind me and the sidewalk had ended some time ago, but I could see the cemetery coming into view. I am not sure why, but I had always had such a fascination with old cemeteries.
The closer I came to the century old cemetery, the lovelier the scenery was until it seemed nearly every view was worth painting. I past a few tidy black-and-white cottages with thatched roofs, old mill houses and ponds shrouded with weeping willows. There was an old stone churches dating back to the Middle Ages, which shadowed the cemetery I was walking towards. Thrushes busily stripped ripe berries from the bare trees. The whole scene was very calm inducing.
I soon approached the large, gothic gates that lead inside the cemetery. I walked slowly along the path, the sky blushing with pinks and reds for the oncoming evening. A brisk wind sent leaves skipping and whispering over the ground.
I looked at each old gravestone. Most of them were so old that the inscription on them was worn off. The most impressive thing of the whole cemetery was the old statues and Gothic crosses. There were also many old crypts, many of them not locked and I could probably go in them, but I didn't dare go down into a strange underground crypt alone.
I walked a bit further until I saw the lone figure of man walking towards me. It was probably just another person taking a stroll like I was. In fact there were several people walking around the cemetery, but the further in you went, the less and less people I had seen. The man's walk was confident and I could tell even from a distance that he knew where he was headed. But as he got closer the outline of the man seemed more familiar. The lean, tall frame, with the perfectly tailored suit.
Keane.
Panicking slightly, I looked around thinking maybe I could duck somewhere, but after a quick sweep of the area I realize that hiding was completely ridiculous, and there was nowhere to hide anyway, except maybe behind one of the large headstones. But it was obvious Keane had already seen me and he was walking straight towards me.
I stood still as he closed the distance between us.
-"Good afternoon, Anastasia." He said, with his typical, rich and charming accent.
-"Hi." I mumbled, feeling slightly annoyed that he was disturbing my solitude.
He gave me a croaked grin as I looked up at him. His usually crazy, flowing hair was tousled and wind-swept and he had a bit of a pink to his cheeks from being out in the cold wind.
-"This is rather a pleasant surprise." He said, still smiling.
-"Why? Are you following me?" I asked suspiciously.
-"Well seeing that I was leaving the graveyard, it would appear that you are the one following me." His voice held a hint of humor.
-"No!" I cried outraged. "I was not! I came for a walk; I assumed you were with the others, whatever it is that you and Zak are doing together."
I quickly turned towards the gravestone we stood next to and took a particular interest in it, inspecting every inch of it so I didn't have to look at Keane's amused face.
-"My dear, the only thing Zak and I have in common is you. I have only been with him when we have a need to discuss you and how to keep you safe. Otherwise I have been at my home."
-"You have a house here?" I asked surprise.
-"Well, not exactly. It's an old friend of mine who is out-of-town, but he was kind enough to let me stay."
-"Oh ..."
Keane put his arm out, motioning for us to walk, which I was more than happy to do. There was something very unnerving about him, and I didn't like being so close to him. We made our way down one of the many trails that wound around a small chapel that was obviously long forgotten. Ivy and a thick moss grew along its walls, piercing through some of the cracks and disappeared inside. A couple of the lovely stain glass windows were broken. One window had a board over it but someone had torn it off and it lay a few feet away from the building.
I couldn't take my eyes off the amazing chapel as we slowly strolled pass it.
-"Lovely isn't it?" Keane said in a low tone.
-"It is. It's a shame that they are letting it deteriorate like that."
-"Then I don't think it would be as beautiful as it is now."
I looked at Keane surprised by his statement, but I was more surprise that it was a sentiment that reflected my own.
-"I thought I was the only one that had a strange fascination with old abandoned buildings and cemeteries."
Keane chuckled. It was a low and pleasant sound.
-"You'd be amazed at the odd things people enjoy out there."
The path went in a large circle and we soon found ourselves going along the path that led back out to the exit.
-"My mother - " The words caught in my throat but I quickly swallowed the lump. "She used to say it was not normal to be so fascinated with old, dead things."
The wind suddenly blew hard, several leafs were kicked off the ground and loudly blew down the path. My skin prickled into goose bumps and I shivered. I wasn't sure if it was because of the wind or at the memory of the large argument my mother had with my father not long before they separated, all because of my strangeness.
But Keane's warm hand on my arm quickly brought me back to the present. We had stopped walking, standing near a large statue of a weeping angel who was knelt over a rock. I felt Keane's large hand squeeze my arm as he gave me a sympathetic smile ... as if he knew where my dark thoughts had gone.
-"People are drawn to places like these for different reasons. For some it's just a way to get away, they see the peaceful beauty of places like this. Others, it's a way to face mortality, that no one can escape it, one day, we all end up here, in a place just like this." Keane's bright hazel eyes swept the horizon. "But for you, Anastasia, it's different. As a shadow empath you are drawn to places where the dead are."
I shook my head. I understood what Keane was saying but I still didn't buy the fact that I, was any sort of empath.
-"I'm not an empath."
He didn't seem surprise that I was still denying it.
-"Like it or not, you are. So best you come to terms with it now, rather than later."
-"I've never done anything even remotely empathic! So really, I think both you and Zak need to find the right person, because I am not her!" I snapped and made a move to walk away.
But Keane quickly grabbed my arm tightly and pulled me back towards him.
-"I know I have the right girl. I'll prove it. Close your eyes." His tone was calm.
-"Why?" I glared at him skeptically.
Keane let go of my arm and slowly walked around so he was behind me. He leaned in close to my ear.
-"Just humor me." He whispered, his hot breath tickled the top of my exposed neck.
-"Fine, whatever, just so you can see I'm the wrong person and then you can leave me alone."
I shut my eyes and felt Keane put his hands on my each of my shoulders. I stiffened up right away.
-"Relax ..." His fingers dug tenderly into my shoulders, gently massaging it. "Just breathe, slowly ..."
I tried to keep my stiff posture and did as he told me, inhaling the crisp, fragrant autumn air, and slowly let it out. After doing this a few times, to my annoyance my body started to relax.
-"Good." Keane's steady, soft voice was still close to my ear. "Now just concentrate on my voice. Don't think about anything else. Just let the world around you melt away, Anastasia. All your worries, all your fears, they are gone. You have never been safer then you are right now, and no one will ever harm you."
As he spoke, Keane's voice slowly seemed to grow further away from me, like he was walking away as he spoke. His voice was almost hypnotic and it was like something in me had just collapse, as if a wall in my mind had been temporally dropped.
-"Very good." Keane murmured. "Now open your eyes, and tell me what you see."
Very slowly I did as I was told.
-"I see an old cemetery."
-"Besides the old cemetery." Keane chuckled.
I blinked a couple of time and looked again, unsure what I was supposed to be seeing other than the cemetery, but I still saw nothing. Sensing my frustration Keane turned me to the right a bit.
-"Over there, next to the large stone with a cross, what do you see?" He pointed.
I looked in the direction he was showing me, but again I saw nothing unusual. A woman was standing by the tombstone.
-"Nothing, just a lady."
-"Yes, the woman, focus on her."
I watched the woman; she stood stone-still facing the gravestone. Her head was bowed as if she was in a silent prayer.
-"What about her?" I felt a little uncomfortable watching a woman who was obviously here to mourn or visit someone close to her.
-"Look at her, Anastasia. Really look at her."
I sighed and looked at her again. But now that I was, I could see a few strange things. Her clothing was very out of style and she obviously was not dressed for the weather. She wore a short dress, one that almost looked like the costume Cathy had worn to my mother's party. She almost looked ... faded. It was the only way I could describe her. Everything around her looked almost painfully vibrant. She was a dull grey ... and slightly see-through.
-"Oh my god ..." I gasped. I instinctively backed up, and crashed right into Keane's hard chest. "I can see through her ..." I tried to back away again, even though I knew I couldn't.
-"It's alright, Ana ..." Keane put his arms around my waist, steadying me.
-"This is a trick! This is one of your sick tricks, isn't it?" I tried to get out of his embrace. I just wanted to run and get the hell out of here.
-"No, no it's not. I promise you, it is not a trick, please you must calm yourself luv, and no one will harm you." Keane's tone was firm, yet it held a hint of softness to it.
He kept a firm grip on my hips and he crushed my back to his chest. I wanted to look away from the ghost but I couldn't bring myself to tear my gaze away.
-"Why can I see her?" I tried to calm my labored breathing down as it came out in little puffs of white cloud from the cold air.
-"Because you are a shadow empath. You can see the dead. Well not always, it takes a little practice to see them in this world and you have to open yourself up to them. You have quite a mental block ..."
-"I - I don't want to see her anymore ..." I felt myself shiver as I stared at the ghostly form. "Please, make her go away." I pleaded in a small voice.
Keane ordered me to close my eyes again and to relax, which took quite a bit of effort on my part, but when I did he told me to imagine a wall. The biggest, thickest wall I could ever see, and imagine it being built around me, cocooning me inside. When I opened my eyes to my relief, the woman was gone. I let out a long pent-up breath of relief, and I tried hard to not think about her again.
Keane and I both stood still for several more moments before I became all too aware that I was shamelessly leanings against him, while he had his arms wrapped tightly around me. I quickly moved, separated myself from him, and for an instant I sort of missed his warmth.
-"I'm not sure I want to do that again." I whispered, unable to resist looking at the spot where I had seen the ghost.
-"There is nothing to be afraid of. Most of these spirits are not even aware of your presence. They are just here, they linger ... waiting for something or someone who will never come. Some do try and interact with humans. Those are the spirits you need to be cautious with."
-"Why?"
-"Because you never know which ones are good, and which ones mean you harm until it's too late. Your friend Zak can attest to that."
I furrowed my brow at his comment but when I was going to ask him to elaborate but he started to talk again.
-"Don't try and see spirits on your own. Make sure you do it only when I am around." Keane ran his hand through his wind-blown hair. "Or Zak ... Although he wouldn't be much good if something were to happen."
I didn't ask what bad things could happen, I didn't want to know. Plus there was no need for him to worry, I never planned to do that again.
The sun had gone down and the sky was lit up with early stars.
-"You did well for your first time; we should meet tomorrow afternoon to practice again."
-"No, no way, I think I rather stay ignorant to all this!" I snapped. I didn't like the thought of having to do that again, and I didn't like the idea of being alone with Keane.
-"Ignorance is not always bliss, Anastasia." Keane didn't say any more than those words. He extended his arm out for me to take, and I gave him a weary look, unsure I wanted to touch him again. "I will walk you back." His face was serious.
I hesitate but I gave him a quick nod. I started to walk in the direction of the road, ignoring his outstretched arm. Keane followed and soon fell into step with me, adjusting his long strives for my short ones. We walked in silence for a bit. The night air was cooling off rapidly now that the sun had gone down. I stuffed my hands in my jacket pocket trying to keep them warm, I then gave Keane a quick side glance.
-"Is that what you see all the time, ghosts wandering around?" I finally asked.
-"Sometimes. Like you I can block them out, which I do quite often."
Unable to suppress it, I shivered thinking about the woman's ghost.
-"Why was that woman in the cemetery to begin with?" I asked softly.
-"I'm not sure. She probably is waiting for someone ... but they died long ago, and she is now just attached their long gone body."
-"How sad ..." I whispered, picturing the lonely woman again, standing still. "She was waiting ... still is waiting, for a man she loved so much, even after she died ... only to have an eternity of loneliness." My heart-felt so heavy just thinking about it.
Keane looked at me, a little surprise.
-"I never looked at it that way." He said with little sympathy in his voice.
-"How could you not? Haven't you ever wondered about all those ghosts you are around?"
-"No." His tone was firm.
-"Don't you ever worry that maybe your wife would be waiting for you?" As soon as I asked the question I regretted it. I wasn't sure why I had even said that.
Keane turned his sharp gaze on me.
-"I know she isn't."
-"Yeah, only because I am her, right?" I mentally slapped myself. I wasn't sure what was wrong with me tonight; it was like there was no stopping the stupid words from tumbling out of my mouth.
Keane stopped short and grabbed my arm tightly, pulling me to stop. He spun me around so I was facing him.
-"Ana, you are nothing like my wife. She died five hundred years ago. I do not think she is a spirit because she was to sensible for love. She said love was for the fools. A good marriage was two people who could mutually benefit from each other. I did come to love her, very much, but we were married because her family had a lot of land and I had a title. She and I were a good match for those reasons. But do not go thinking that you are a copy of her, because you are not."
I was taken aback by Keane's passionate tone. He let go of my arm and we resumed walking. Neither one of us said anymore until we reached the hotel I was staying at.
-"Thanks, for walking me back." I said a little awkwardly.
It was completely dark now. The street was slightly illumined by street lamps and the sidewalk was a little busy with people coming and going. Keane gave a slowly nod.
-"It was my pleasure." He ran his hand through his hair. "Could you meet me tomorrow Ana, please? I think we need to practice a little more."
-"I don't know ... I have to go with the guys and do some research."
-"I know."
-"That's right, you and Zak are like bffs now right?" I said my anger returning.
But Keane didn't fall for the bait of my anger. As per usual he kept his cool.
-"Why are you so upset about this? Is it because he and I have reached an agreement?"
-"No! Of course not! I am mad at him because he is keeping secrets from me!" I raised my hands exasperate. "He is always forgetting to tell me something and I just had it! He doesn't tell me about my father's journal, he doesn't say a word about wanting my help to investigate because I am suddenly important to the world! He doesn't tell me that you and him are working together for some strange reason, and he sure as hell didn't tell about me to his girlfriend!"
I was breathing hard and I had my hands balled up in tight fists.
-"Ah ... well there it is. Another woman ..." To Keane's credit he didn't smile, but his voice held a hint of humor. "And have you told Zak about ... these issues you have?"
-"No ..." I replied sheepishly.
-"Why not?" Keane's eye brow quirked.
-"I don't know ... I just ... it's complicated!" I snapped. I didn't want to tell him that it was because I overheard a conversation Zak had over the phone.
-"It always is."
-"What would you know about complications and relationships?"
Keane leaned in closer.
-"Do you really think I have been celibate for the last five hundred years?" Keane gave me a wolfish smile.
I found myself leaning closer to him as well. People walked by us, some gave us a quick glance, while others had a secret smile. We were so close I could feel the heat radiating from him, I could also smell his intoxicating aroma of cold pine and something earthy ... He smelled amazing.
-"So what do you say? We meet tomorrow by the lake; it's just half a kilometer from here." He took full advantage of my enthrallment with him. "I promise I will answer more questions you have about yourself or me ... or anything. I want you to trust me, Anastasia."
I found myself nodding.
-"Okay ... I'll meet you tomorrow."
-"Brilliant!" He exclaimed. "You did wonderful today, I am quite proud of you."
I want to be annoyed that he had somehow convinced me to meet him and try another awful exercise that would let me see ghosts again, but I couldn't say I wasn't also a little curious to see what else he would have to say.
I looked up at Keane to give him my best scolding look before leaving to go to my room. But my face softened at his beautiful, ancient features when my gaze met his. How could people walk by him on the street and not give him a second look?
Before I could stop myself, I was stretching up to kiss him quickly on the cheek. His skin felt smooth and cold like satin, and my lips felt unusually warm against his flesh. Why did you do that? I asked myself, coming down off my toes and quickly gazing at the entrance of the hotel to hide my confusion.
It was over in a matter of seconds, but as I knew from the past month with everything that had happened to change my life, a few seconds was all it took to change your life. Keane studied me. When I showed no sign of hysteria or an inclination to make a run for it, he leaned toward me and kissed me slowly once, twice on each cheek.
His face skimmed over mine for a lingering moment. When he straightened, Keane's eyes looked smokier than usual.
-"Good night, Anastasia" he said with a smile.
Moments later, I climbed the stairs to my room and locked myself inside. Leaning against my door, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, I quickly looked at the number, and it was Cathy. I muted the phone and ignored the call. I couldn't talk to her right now ... Cathy knew me better than I knew myself and if I answered now she would know something was wrong.
I knew she would want to ask the same question I'd asked myself. I just didn't want to answer.
oOo
The next day past quickly, this was a good thing because I had barely slept last night. I was exhausted. I had spent most of the night tossing and turning. I felt so confused. I was having these conflicting feelings for Keane and I didn't like it. He was everything that Zak was not right now. He was honest, easy-going, and he seemed to know me like no one else did. But he wasn't Zak. He didn't make my heart skip a beat when he entered the room and he didn't make me forget the whole world around us...
When I had finally crawled out of bed, I had decided that I would talk to Zak; I just needed the truth from him. I could have all the feelings in the world for him but it didn't matter if he was involved with another woman. I would have to walk away from him. But to dismay when I meet everyone in the lobby, Zak was not there, nor were there any plans for him to show up. He had other things to do today, something about a location in the woods that he wanted to learn more about. So it would be just me and the guys today.
We spent the day talking to people and took a tour at the Dracula castle, which had been very interesting, I loved these sort of things but I found little enjoyment in it today. My thoughts once again were drifting to Zak and Keane.
I knew both men wanted to protect me, but what I couldn't understand was why. What was in it for them? I was feeling very leery of everyone, especially them.
Nick had filmed some shots today, which I did my best to stay out of, but he had said that they would have to introduce me sooner or later since Zak apparently had already planned that I would be part of the investigation.
By the time we got back it was almost 5pm.
-"You wanna grab some dinner?" Nick asked me.
-"Maybe later ... I have a couple of things I need to do."
Nick eyed me doubtfully for a moment.
-"Okay I guess ... I'll call you in a bit."
I nodded and went upstairs to change my jacket. It was starting to snow and I wanted to get my warm winter jacket on. Once I did I brought up a map of the area and found the large lake Keane had wanted to meet at. It was only ten minutes away on foot, so I set off.
Capra Lake was a large lake where I could barely see the other side. The snow was coming down in big fluffy flakes and I shivered deeper into my heavy wool coat. I had worn a warm pair of knitted gloves and a hat. I gazed out at the vast lake as snow swirled everywhere. I had waited for over twenty minutes. Sighing I skipped a stone across the surface of the lake trying to ignore the tiny rays of sun that were peeking through the thick clouds which was sinking toward the horizon.
It was well past five thirty. If he had planned to come, he would have been here by now.
I tossed another stone and missed my imaginary target, wincing at the hollow sound the pebble made as it sank to the bottom of the lake.
-"He is not coming." I mumbled to myself.
As if to punctuate the words, the wind picked up, threatening to take the hat from my head. I held it down, wincing as my long hair lashed at my face. The wind slowly lessened, and I felt safe releasing the knitted beanie.
I leaned down and picked up another stone.
Ten more minutes, I told myself.
I wasn't even sure why I was here. How had my life turned so strange, in such a short amount of time? This bizarre world that was filled with weird things that you have only read about in fairytales, my life was also filled with infuriating men. Men who told you one thing and meant another, men that I should avoid and not flirt with. I closed my eyes as a wave of embarrassment coursed through me.
Keane had kissed me. Alright, yes it was a peek on the cheek, but there had been something else there, I could feel it. He wanted much more from me. He was filled with passion and I knew that by coming here I was playing a very dangerous game. Yet I felt exhilarated by it. I wanted to see how much more Keane wanted from me.
A harsh gust of wind blew through the meadow on the side of the lake, sending waves of white-edged ripples across the surface of the lake. I let out a colorful curse as I turned my back to the blunt force of the wind, clutching my jacket tightly to my chest.
I should not be here. Once the worse of the wind stopped, I skipped another stone across the water. It was a terrible idea being here. I threw another stone. Keane was standing me up. He had me right where he wanted me. He was probably somewhere laughing at me, like all people seemed to do in my life. I was such an idiot.
I threw another stone.
-"Enough, idiot. He is not coming." I muttered the words aloud to the lake.
I had enough of waiting for him. It was freezing and the light was waning and I was going back to the hotel. Immediately. Tomorrow, I would consider my next course of action - No more good girl. I was going to give up on all this silliness. I would get my damn answers and then I would tell them all to go to hell and I would go home.
Give up. The words echoed. I was not giving up. I was simply moving on, changing the course of where my life was going. As though the elements had sensed my conviction, the wind blew again, harsh and angry. I reached up to secure my hat just as the damn thing flew off my head. With a little squeak, I turned to watch it fly toward the lake, tumbling across the water like one of the stones I had skipped earlier. It landed, unbelievably, on the far end of a wide fallen log. Some of the wool had unraveled when it snagged on a branch. The long strings floating in the dark cold lake, taunting me.
I loved that hat! It wasn't much to look at. It was just some silly old thing that I had made in high school for my home economics class. I had always liked it, not because of its look; it was actually quite ugly in its two tones of dark grey and off-white. But it represented a happy moment. A slim, tiny light in my life. My mother had helped me knit that hat. I was doing awful in my home economics class. I couldn't cook, I couldn't sew, I couldn't knit ... I tried, oh, did I try. One evening I was staying at my mother's, which was a rare thing. I was sitting in her living room, and I had knitted and unraveled that damn hat a hundred times.
My mother had watched me for over an hour, and to my surprise she had offered to help me. She showed me an easier way to knit, and together we made that hat. For a small moment, I had a tiny glimpse at what it must have been like to have a loving mother.
Glaring at the hat I decided with resolve something would go right this afternoon. Even if I had to march into the middle of the Capra Lake to make it so. I walked towards the log which was only a few yards away. I stepped up on it and threw my arms wide for balance to make my way to the ill-behaved hat, mocking me from several yards away.
The wind began to pick up, and the hat wobbled violently. I stilled, waiting to see if the hat would blow away. The wind slowed. The hat remained. Second thoughts were now going through my head as I glanced down at the cold water on each side of me. This was probably insane, but at this point it really was the principle of the thing. I continued on my journey trying to hurry before the hat was sacrificed to the cold water of the lake. Just a few more feet. And then I'd have the hat in hand and I could go home.
Nearly there.
I crouched slowly, shifting my balance and reaching out. The tips of my fingers touched the tip of the grey hat. And then the hat was gone, blown off the log, and in a moment of frustration I forgot my precarious position and lunged.
The waters of the Capra were as cold as they appeared. Colder. And deeper. I came up sputtering and swearing like a sailor. Instinctively, I rolled my body to face the shore, only to find my jacket caught on something below the water, pulling me under. My confusion flared and I kicked out, breaking the surface again briefly, gasping for air and not entirely understanding what was happening.
Something was wrong. I was an expert swimmer, why couldn't I stay afloat? I kicked once more; my legs were getting tangled in a mass of fabric of my heavy jacket. I realized that my wool jacket and all my clothes that were meant to keep me warm were actually weighing me down. I could not reach the surface.
Panic flared. I extended my arms again, kicking wildly in one last desperate attempt at air. To no avail. My lungs were on fire, straining under the burden of holding in the last of my precious air . . . air I knew I was about to—I exhaled, the sound of the air bubbles rising to the surface of the lake punctuating my fate.
I am going to drown. The words drifted through my mind, eerily calm as I slowly felt myself starting to slip away.
And then something strong and warm grasped one of my outstretched hands, jerking me up ... until I could breathe. I took a great, gasping breath, coughing and sputtering and heaving, focusing on nothing but breathing as I was pulled from the deeper water. I collapsed into my savior, wrapping my arms around a warm, sturdy neck—a rock in a sea of uncertainty.
It took a few moments for me to come back to the present, to feel the cold bite of wind on my face and shoulders, to register the movement of my rescuer as he held me, chest deep in the water, as I trembled—either from the cold or the fear or both. His hands stroked along my back, and he whispered soft, calm words into my hairline.
-"Just breathe . . . I've got you . . . You are safe now . . . Everything is all right." And somehow, the words convinced me. He did have me. I was safe. Everything would be all right. I felt his chest rise and fall against me as he took a deep, calming breath. "You're safe," he repeated. "You little fool . . ." he whispered, the tone just as soothing as ever, " ... I have you now." His hands stroked rhythmically down my arms and up my spine. "What in hell were you doing in the lake? What if I hadn't been here? Shh ... I've got you now. You're safe."
It took me a moment to recognize the voice, and when I did, I snapped my attention to him, looking at him with clear eyes for the first time. My breath caught in my throat. Keane. Disheveled and soaked to the skin, his light brown hair turned dark with the water that dripped down his face, panic and fear was written all over his face, he looked the opposite of the poised, perfect gentleman I had come to know him to be.
He looked soaked and unkempt and winded ... And wonderful. I said the first thing that came to my mind.
-"You came." And he'd saved me.
-"Just in time, it seems," he replied.
A fit of coughing overtook me, and I could do nothing but hold on to him for several minutes. When I was once more able to breathe, I met his steady gaze, his eyes the color of a tropical ocean, where blues and greens mixed together. He'd saved her. A shiver rippled through me at the thought, and the tremor spurred him to action.
-"You are cold." He carried me out of the water to the lake's edge, and slowly deposited me down on the ground.
As he did so I could not help but think what would have happened if he had not shown up ... True, he had been late. But he had come. And if he hadn't … but he had. I stole a glance at him. As if he had heard my thoughts, on him being late, he stilled, his face firm and unmoving, like a Roman statue. His clothes were plastered to him—he had not removed his coat before entering the lake, and the layers he wore seemed to blend together. Somehow, the soaked clothing made him seem larger, more dangerous, and immovable.
I watched a droplet of water slither down his forehead, and I itched to brush it away. To kiss it away. She ignored the thought, certain that it was the product of my close encounter with death and nothing else, and redirected my gaze to his mouth, set in a firm, straight line. And I instantly wanted to kiss that instead.
Now I was sure that I was defiantly delusional...
A muscle twitched at the corner of his lips, the only sign of his irritation. More than irritation. Anger. Possibly fury. I didn't know Keane well enough, but I could feel the fury rolling off of him. I shivered and told myself it was from the wind and the water and not the man who towered over me. I wrapped my arms around myself to ward off the cold, of both the wind and the look Keane was giving me.
Of all the people in this town, why did he have to be the one to save me? Turning my attention to the nearby parking area, I saw a handful of people clustered together, watching, of course now people were here ... I could not make out their faces, but I was certain that they knew precisely who I was. The story would be all over the place by tomorrow. So much for keeping a low profile...
I was flooded with emotion . . . exhaustion and fear and gratitude and embarrassment and something more base that twisted inside me and made me feel like I might be sick all over Keane's once-perfect, now-destroyed boots.
All I wanted was to be alone, I felt absolutely mortified.
Willing my shivers to subside, I met his gaze once more, and said.
-"Th-thank you, K-Keane."
I was rather impressed that this close to having died by drowning, I was able to achieve cool politeness. I somehow found the strength to get myself off the cold ground, and said the words that I desperately did not want to say. "I guess I owe you now ..."
I turned on one heel and, thinking only of a warm bath and warmer bed, I set off in the direction of the sidewalk. But then he spoke, making me stopped in my tracks.
-"Do not thank me yet. I've never been so livid in my life." He growled.
I was cold and exhausted, but I was also quite frightened. Never in my life had I been so close to dying. Well unless you counted the airplane incident ... Another accident where Keane had saved my life. It seemed that him saving me was becoming a habit, but only because my life had taken such a strange turn and in less than a week I've almost died. Twice.
Ever since these men had come into my life ... Zak. The thought of Zak suddenly made my heart stop. If he were to find out about this he would probably freak out.
-"I don't think we need to tell the guys about this, do we?"
-"I think that we really should." Keane snapped.
I took a step toward him.
-"But why? It will just upset them, and there is no need to do that."
Keane looked at me with disbelief.
-"No need? On the contrary, Anastasia. Your friends most definitely need to know that you require a chaperone who will prevent you from behaving with reckless abandon." Keane's accent was slighter heavier than usual and he took on a much more proper and older tone.
I threw my hands up.
-"I was not behaving recklessly!" I raised my voice, anger growing inside of me.
-"Oh, no? How would you describe it?"
Silence fell, as I considered the question. I knew what I did was completely stupid. It had been more than stupid, it had been dangerous. All for a stupid hat ... But Keane's tone and his anger towards me was making me angry at him and I just wanted him to shut up and go away. I nibbled the corner of my lower lip nervously as I thought of a good answer to give him. I didn't need to be scolded by him!
Keane cleared his throat.
-"It was perfectly reasonable behavior." I finally said.
He blinked.
-"You climbed out onto a tree trunk," he paused, irritation flaring.
I was suddenly unable to keep from look at the tree trunk in question.
-"It seemed sturdy." My voice faltered slightly
-"You fell into a lake." I heard the fury in his voice.
-"I didn't expect it to be so deep!"
-"No, I don't imagine you did." He said with venom.
I clung to my defense.
-"I was trying to get my hat!"
-"Ah . . . that makes it all much more logical. Do you even know how to swim?"
-"Do I know how to swim?" I gasped in disbelief, slightly offended that he would ever ask that. "I was raised in Florida! Where there is a real ocean!"
-"Impressive," he said, but his tone said he definitely was not. "And tell me, did you ever swim in this ocean?"
-"Of course! But I wasn't wearing," I waved a hand to indicate my clothes, "several layers of clothing!"
-"Why not?"
-"Because you don't swim in several layers of clothes!"
-"No?"
-"No!" I yelled.
-"Why not?"
-"Because you'll drown!" I groaned inwardly. Unfortunately Keane had me there, but it's not like I had jumped in on purpose for a swim.
-"Ah," he said, rocking back on his heels. "Well, at least we've learned something today." He said sarcastically.
My eyes narrowed on him. I was beyond mad at him. I wanted to kick him! He was treating me like a child that had acted badly on purpose.
-"I told you." I grinded through my teeth. "I had a good reason to go out there. If not for the wind and these heavy clothes, I would have been just fine." We both glared at each other with much anger and fury.
As if to underscore my point, the wind picked up then, and my teeth began to chatter. I wrapped my arms around myself. But as the wind picked up, the anger in Keane's eyes dissipated in seconds. I heard him cursed softly, and he moved toward me. He turned me to ensure that he caught the full force of the gale wind —protecting me from the cold gust.
-"Why must you constantly push me?" He asked roughly as he wrapped his arms around me.
-"I'm not doing anything wrong."
-"Don't you see I care for you, Anastasia? I will do everything I can to keep you safe."
There was a long pause.
I didn't know what to say to that. I just didn't know anything anymore.
-"Keane ... I don't know ..." The words caught in my throat and a hundred questions ran through my mind before I shivered in Keane's arms.
-"You're freezing."
I looked up at him, and I felt his breath catch in his lungs but I wasn't sure why.
-"H-how are you n-not?"
My clothes were soaking wet, my hair was plastered to my face. I was pressed to Keane's body and he felt hot, almost on fire. He suddenly let go of me and clasped my elbow and began to steer me toward the nearby parking lot. We walked several yards in silence before he spoke.
-"You could have died."
I gave a brief of hesitation, as my shoulders tense and my spine straighten. We were back at this...
-"But I didn't." I tried to smirk but failed.
I wanted to play this off like it was no big deal. I couldn't handle another speech from him. My words were full of defiance. And I knew that those words were going to make him irate. We soon reached his car, and he opened the passenger door. He then quickly lifted me, as I shivered, and placed me in the vehicle, he then climbed in on the driver's side.
-"I will ruin your seat." I said sheepishly.
For some reason my words set him off. He paused his hand before starting the car and turned an incredulous gaze toward me.
-"It is a wonder that you are able to find concern for my upholstery when you seem to care so little for things of much more importance."
My brow furrowed at his strange words. It was as if whenever Keane got very upset his speech and accent grew older and thicker.
-"What?"
-"You should worry more about yourself then my bloody seats!" He said his tone raising. Unable to hold it back I sneezed and he cursed, "And now you're going to fall ill if you don't keep warm, you bloody woman!" He reached behind me to the back seat and grabbed a large, thick, flannel blanket and thrust it at me. I took it gratefully and covered myself.
-"Thank you," I said firmly, refusing to look at him.
He started the car, turned the heat on full blast and they were off. We drove a short distance before I spoke softly.
-"You don't need to talk to me like I'm a moron." Keane said nothing and after another long moment, I said, "I did not plan to drown myself ... I just wanted my hat back."
It was a short ride to the hotel and Keane stopped the car in front. He quickly got out but by the time he reached my side, I had already let myself out. I glanced at him and saw him grinding his teeth in annoyance.
-"Thank you, for everything." I said with as much dignity I could muster and made my way to the door.
But Keane was not done with me. He followed me into the lobby where my evening had gone from bad to worse. Nick, Aaron and Billy were of course standing there. When they saw me enter through the doors, all wet, huddled in a thick blanket they all came running at me.
-"Ana! What happened?" They all exclaimed at the same time.
If I had not been so cold I would probably have found the whole situation rather funny. I shivered and kept my head high.
-"Nothing ... I -"
But Keane interrupted me.
-"She fell into the lake. We need to get her warm."
The guys nodded and all fussed over me as we climbed the stairs to my room. My hands shook badly as I tried to dig my key out of my pant pocket which was plastered against my skin. Nick helped me unlock the door and once inside everyone was set into motion.
Aaron started to heat up some water for tea, while Billy went in search for the said beverage. Keane went to the large bathroom and ran a warm bath.
-"We need to get her body temperature back up."
Nick nodded and helped me peel off my now ruined wool jacket. I wanted to tell them all to just go away, but my body violently started to shake and I seemed to have loss all control over any sort of function. My teeth chattered loudly, everything part of my body shook. Nick tried to coax me to walk to the bathroom but I just couldn't get my brain to work properly so he quickly scooped me up in his arms and carried me to the warm bathroom. He deposited me and shut the door behind him.
Keane had taken off his wet jacket and stood in his vest and white shirt who looked wet, but not as soaked as his jacket and pants. I looked at the bathtub which was quickly filling up with hot, steaming water and I had the urge to just jumped into it. Until I realized that I would have to strip off my clothes.
-"Y-y-you guys c-c-can go n-n-n-now." I shivered violently.
-"We can't leave you alone." Nick looked at me then at Keane.
-"I'm n-n-not letting you s-s-see me n-n-n-naked!"
Nick seemed rather torn at his point but that didn't deter him.
-"I'll just help you take your pants and shirt off; you can get in with your bra and underwear."
I made an attempted at shaking my head no, but the shivering got worse.
-"Oh for bloody sake!" Keane growled.
He moved to my side and before I could protest he pealed my sweatshirt and t-shirt off. There was little I could do to fight, I was so cold that I was just as useless as a ragdoll. With an expert hand he unbuttoned my jeans and worked on sliding them down, which took some efforts on his part. I would have blushed but my whole body was already bright red from being cold. Once I was naked, except for my underwear and bra he picked me up and deposited in the bathtub.
The hot water burnt like hell because I was so cold, but moments later my body adjusted and the tremors subsided. Keane sat on the side of the bathtub and gave me a sympathetic glance. As the water ran, Keane squirted a large amount of soap into the tub.
*music*
-"You really scared me." He said in a low voice, after setting the bottle down.
-"I'm sorry ..." I looked down at the bubbles, embarrassed that I was sitting practically naked in front of two men, and I really did not like everyone fussing over me like this.
Keane gave a sad chuckle and brought his hand to my face and gently cupped it, bringing my gaze to his. His face was flooded with emotions and he seemed to want to say something more, but Nick cleared his throat breaking the spell.
-"Dude, you need to go change." Nick said quietly, obviously not enjoying seeing the exchange between us. Keane gave me a glance, but Nick was adamant that he had to go. "She's fine, I got this." Nick reassured Keane.
Keane gave a sharp nod and slowly bent down and pressed a warm kiss to my forehead, lingering for a moment, and with that he left.
******************************************************
Zak had been busy with details of an unexpected place he wanted to investigate. Hoia-Baciu Forest was a strangely active wooded area that he was told about.
Although truth be told he was using it as an excuse to stay away from Ana. The woman was infuriating and he needed to distance himself from her.
But now he was in a precarious situation. He was absolutely puzzled, how one person could change everything. Not to mention infuriating. But then, everything was infuriating to Zak now. Ana was busy with Keane, the man had said he could help train Ana get ready for their investigation. He wasn't sure why Keane was suddenly being helpful, but Zak had agreed...
And now that Ana was busy with Keane and his friends with research, there was no reason for him to be pleasant or even civil. Her absence from him had put him in the prowling fury of a wild creature deprived of its mate. He was always aware of his need for her, and the unendurable knowledge that she was with someone else right now was driving him insane.
He had hoped that this time away from her might help clear his head, but it did the opposite. He wondered if maybe Ana just wasn't meant to be for him, but everything in his body screamed for her. Even the demons he carried wanted her.
Lowering his head, he scrubbed his hands through his unruly hair. His chest ached in the way it always had when he yearned for something he didn't quite understand.
He just didn't know what to do anymore.
The future spread before him in a great lifeless void. To give up Ana would mean a thousand nights without her. He could find some other woman and make love to them to fill that void, but none of them would ever be the one he truly wanted.
He thought of Ana living alone. Or worse, getting together with Keane, perhaps even marrying him. But she would always have the knowledge that Keane probably saw his dead wife in her ... She deserved so much more than that. She deserved passionate, heart-scalding, overwhelming, consuming love. She deserved … Oh, hell. He was thinking too much.
He was probably starting to sound like the hopeless romantic, Nick. Zak forced himself to face the truth. The fact was, Ana was his, whether he stayed or left, whether they walked the same path or not. They could live on opposite sides of the world, and she would still be his.
Now he just had to make her see that.
******************************************************
A/N:
I want to give a very special shout out and thanks to my new friend, Amy. Thank you for helping me this week. I was feeling very anxious on how this chapter was going to be seen, but she listened to my whining and self-doubt and helped calm me :) So thank you!
I have struggled with this chapter. It was easily written, but I was very hesitant on how it would be received, since it was very Ana and Keane heavy, where he played a bigger role then I had ever expected when I first brought Keane to life.
I do want to explain since I know some will question my motives. I try to write something that is believable. Something that could maybe even happen to one of us. (I wish!) That includes my characters state of mind. Anastasia has spent most of her life trying to be perfect for her mother, for her ex-fiancé. Now she has two hot guys trying to protect her and are fighting over her. Well she is overwhelmed and curious … She is also slowly changing. In future chapters she will grow more assertive in what she wants and in sticking up for herself. So anyway, all that to say, this is her, trying to find herself.
But do not fret, next chapter there is lots of Zak and Ana action! :)
Last Note, this week is Thanksgiving (USA). Because of that I am not sure if the next chapter will be up on Tuesday. I will let you know though if it will be on time, if not I will post the date of release on my Facebook, so make sure to follow me there!