I will be making a super cute one shot in a few hours. Enjoy!
•••
just wants to be beautiful
She goes unnoticed, she knows no limits
She craves attention, she praises an image
You were always insecure, but the thoughts were really getting to you and putting you down.
You thought you were too fat, too ugly, not good enough, not beautiful, had a big nose, had too pale skin, and your under eye bags were too dark.
You were becoming depressed because you would never get a boyfriend or be happy.
You were putting yourself down. People tried to help you, but none of their words could erase your self conscious thoughts.
You wanted to be beautiful. You wanted to be happy and have nice clothes, hair, and perfect makeup.
You wanted to be like the Aphrodite girls, but you knew you would never be as perfect as them.
You were unnoticed most of the time because you were too quiet and shy. The only time you were noticed is when you did something embarrassing, like trip and fall.
You wanted to be noticed, but you hated to be the center of attention. You were awkward when everyone had their eyes on you.
You wanted attention from everyone. You didn't think anybody loved you or cared about you.
Of course you had friends, but you knew they didn't care about you because they would constantly put you down day by day.
You knew they would joke around, but their words still stung. You didn't want to tell them because you would feel bad that you made them feel bad.
But you had a best friend named Leo Valdez. He constantly told you that he cared about you, but you still didn't believe him.
You praised the skinny girls and models. You wanted to be just like them because you felt that the only way to be pretty, was to be skinny.
She prays to be sculpted by the sculptor
Oh, she don't see the light that's shining
Deeper than the eyes can find it
Maybe we have made her blind
So she tries to cover up her pain and cut her woes away
'Cause covergirls don't cry after their face is made
You prayed each night to Aphrodite that she made you skinny, but Aphrodite wouldn't make it that easy.
She may be the goddess of love and beauty, but it felt as if she was purposely playing games with you.
You knew she would never do you this huge favor because you didn't do anything to deserve it.
You expected that Aphrodite would do it out of pity, but half of you knew she wouldn't do that.
People always told you that you were thin and pretty, but you continued to not believe them.
You didn't feel good in your own body. Everyday, you stare at your stomach with a sad expression because you think it's fat.
You didn't know that your friends were having a discussion about you. Even if you knew, you wouldn't care.
"She can't see the light that's shining." Piper whispered to Jason, her boyfriend who is the son of Jupiter.
"How can her eyes not see her beauty?" Leo blurted out.
"I think Aphrodite made her blind to herself because she can't see how amazing she is." Percy said while grasping Annabeth's hand and kissing it.
You were getting more and more depressed. You tried to cover your pain with happiness.
Your friends believed that you were happier, but you knew that there was one particular person who thought otherwise.
Leo.
He was your best friend, so he knew what your fake smiles look like and he knows that your responses don't have effort in them.
Whenever you were alone, you would take your pain out on yourself. You found a razor and began cutting.
You scraped the jagged, sharp piece of metal against your skin. The sharp edges dug in your skin and blood became noticeable.
You winced in pain at how it felt, but at the same time it felt good to cut your woes away.
Your wrists became numb, which is what you wanted to feel like. Numbness made you not feel the pain.
You became dizzy and lightheaded from the loss of blood, but you continued to weakly cut yourself.
You moved on to your thighs. You hated your thighs, and that's why you decided to cut them.
You grabbed a new razor since the other one became dull. This was one sharper than the previous one.
You pressed the blade into your thigh and scraped down. Cuts formed in your skin and dark red blood seeped out.
Tears welled up in your eyes because the pain was too extreme, you couldn't bear it.
But you had to. It was the only thing that made you feel better because of the numbness.
You wiped your tears away. Cover girls and models don't cry because it would ruin their makeup. You needed to practice that skill.
You became addicted to cutting. Every week, you had to buy a new package of razors.
Not only were you cutting, but you were hitting yourself to form bruises. You took your pain out on yourself.
You always wore pants and sweaters. People questioned you about wearing sweaters and pants in 100° weather, but you would just say you were naturally cold.
It was another night of cutting. You grabbed a fresh razor and clamped it onto your wrist.
You pressed down harder as you scraped at your skin. You screamed in pain as old cuts reopened.
Part of you wanted to tell Leo what you were doing, but you didn't want him to be concerned because this is what you wanted. To be beautiful.
But there's a hope that's waiting for you in the dark
You should know you're beautiful just the way you are
And you don't have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we're stars and we're beautiful
Leo still knew that you were insecure, because he was once insecure too. He knows what it feels like.
You were sitting on Leo's bed in Bunker 9 with Leo. Your shoulders were touching and you both were watching a movie.
Leo grabbed your hand and you winced. He accidentally rubbed against your open scars.
Leo carefully and gently caressed your hand. You felt tears coming to your eyes because you knew this was the moment he was going to find out.
He cautiously lifted your grey sweater sleeve up. He stared wide eyed at all of your scars.
You looked away ashamed because Leo's face was crossed between shocked and horrified.
You felt his warm hand run over your scars and you let a single tear fall each time he crossed an open wound.
He didn't say anything, probably to horrified to do so. What he did do, was pull you into his chest and hug you in his arms.
He had one hand around your waist rubbing your lower back and the other hand caressing your cheek.
"Are there anymore?"
"On my thighs... There's also bruises.." You whispered.
You started sobbing uncontrollably into his chest. He didn't say "You're okay" or "Everything is going to be okay" because he knew those phrases weren't true.
You looked at his face to see he had red, puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. He was crying too.
You felt terrible for making Leo cry. He pulled you closer into his chest and laid his head in the crook of your neck.
You sobbed into his hair with your hands wrapped around his scrawny figure.
You felt Leo look up into your eyes, which caused you to move your crying self.
Leo looked at you and leaned in. His eyes flickered to your lips and then back to your eyes.
You leaned in slowly too. Leo leaned in farther so that both of your noses were touching.
"You should know that you're beautiful just the way you are. And you don't have to change a thing. The world could change its heart. No scars to your beautiful, we're stars and we're beautiful."
Leo leaned in fully and crashed his lips into yours. You kissed back and Leo was dominant and forceful.
Leo kissed you hard. You craved his minty taste and kissed him with as much passion as he showed.
He pulled away and whispered, "I want to show you how beautiful you really are."
Even if Leo said you were beautiful, you still didn't like the way you looked. You thought you needed to be skinnier.
And you don't have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we're stars and we're beautiful
You replayed what Leo said as you sat cuddled into him. Your eyes were shutting and you fell asleep in his warm embrace.
"You don't have to change a thing. The world could change its heart. No scars to your beautiful. We're stars and we're beautiful." You replayed in your head.
As much as you wanted to believe those words, your brain couldn't believe them. The insecure thoughts were too overpowering.
Your own thoughts were killing you as a person. Physically, emotionally, and mentally.
She has dreams to be an envy, so she's starving
You know, covergirls eat nothing
She says "beauty is pain and there's beauty in everything"
"What's a little bit of hunger?"
"I could go a little while longer, " she fades away
You had dreams about skinny girls. They haunted you because you wanted to be just like them.
So, you started to starve yourself. It was the quickest and easiest way to lose weight.
You always thought that cover girls ate nothing, but in reality, they eat a lot. They just exercise to stay healthy, or they're photoshopped.
You woke up one morning in Leo's arms, except something was wrong. You felt dizzy.
Leo woke up and saw that you didn't look good. You were ghostly pale, paler than Nico.
You looked at Leo with a face that you were going to puke, so he picked you up bridal style and rushed you to the bathroom.
He set you down in front of the toilet and grabbed your hair so it was out of the way.
He rubbed soothing circles in your back while you puked into the toilet. You felt even worse when you were done.
"What did you eat that's making you sick?" Leo asked softly.
He brought his hand to your face and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear before bringing his lips to your forehead.
"Actually, it's not what I've eaten... It's what I haven't eaten." You replied weakly.
You tried to crawl into Leo's arms, but failed. Leo got the message and pulled you into his arms.
"I'm starving myself to lose weight..." You whispered.
Leo had tears in his eyes as he watched you weakly try to stay conscious.
"Why are you doing this to yourself? You could die from starvation." Leo whispered back as tear drops dripped onto your cheeks.
"Beauty is pain and there's beauty in everything. What's a little bit of hunger? I could go a little while longer." You mumbled.
Everything went black and you passed out from malnutrition in Leo's delicate, strong arms.
She don't see her perfect, she don't understand she's worth it
Or that beauty goes deeper than the surface
So to all the girls that's hurting
Let me be your mirror, help you see a little bit clearer
The light that shines within
Leo rushed you to the infirmary to see Will Solace, the best doctor in the infirmary there is.
Will got a feeding tube and put it carefully down your throat. He put applesauce in the tube and force fed you.
Meanwhile, Leo was rocking back and forth in a chair next to your bed. His hand was grasping yours.
You became conscious when you heard Leo say something that made you want to curl up in a ball and cry.
"She doesn't see her perfect. She doesn't understand she's worth it. Or that her beauty goes deeper in the surface." Leo said to no one in particular while sobbing.
You gagged the feeding tube out of your throat and began coughing.
"Will, I don't need that feeding tube! I'm trying to lose weight!" You weakly yelled at Will.
Tears fell down your cheeks as Leo pulled you into his comforting chest. He sobbed into your hair.
You wrapped your tiny arms around Leo's muscular frame and cried into his chest.
"Why are you hurting? Let me be your mirror, so you can see a little bit clearer. Light shines from within. It doesn't matter about looks, it's about what's in the inside. You're beautiful and the best thing that has ever happened to me. You don't deserve to feel this way."
Leo's words meant a lot to you. You knew that by the way he was acting, that he meant what he said.
There's a hope that's waiting for you in the dark
You should know you're beautiful just the way you are
And you don't have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we're stars and we're beautiful
"I will be the hope that's waiting for you at the end of the dark tunnel you're wondering through. Don't change a thing about your appearance, because you are beautiful and the most gorgeous girl I have ever seen. The world needs to change its heart because society is destroying the world. Society is what is bringing everybody down. No scars to your beautiful. We're stars and we're beautiful."
Leo sealed what he said with the sweetest kiss he could muster. You were lucky to have someone like Leo as a boyfriend.
No better you than the you that you are
No better you than the you that you are
No better life than the life we're living
No better life than the life we're living
No better time for your shine, you're a star
No better time for your shine, you're a star
Oh, you're beautiful, oh, you're beautiful
"There's no better you in this world than yourself. When I say your the most gorgeous girl I have ever seen, I mean it. I would never lie to you and I love you so much."
And there's a hope that's waiting for you in the dark
You should know you're beautiful just the way you are
And you don't have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we're stars and we're beautiful
And you don't have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we're stars and we're beautiful
In that moment, you realized that you were beautiful, and it was all because of Leo.
•••
So... How was this?
Sad? I know.
Depressing? I know.
I wrote this because I've been feeling extremely insecure myself, and I just think this song is beautiful.
Love you guys and it's 7:15 AM.
I need to go to sleep.
Love you guys💕