Scarlett
I have learnt this from the storms... the quieter you are, the deadlier you become when it's time for destruction.
I watched it happen before my eyes, day by day as you walked into my life. Quiet, brooding, alone, deadly, your gaze never on anyone but me and that cup of coffee. You were mysterious. like a puzzle that itched me the wrong way, because none of your pieces matched the person I was trying to decode you as. That's what we do, don't we? That's what makes us humans. When we like someone we expect them to be the one we have always wanted. Even though they weren't. You were thrilling and exhausting at the same time. You were everything yet nothing at all. A delusion for me to be entertained.
Were you entertaining me?
Maybe you loved to play this cat-and-mouse game. Maybe you were just trying to not be alone. How lonely must it be for you to be so feared? No one but you, in a castle carved of diamonds. Is being feared a curse? No one around to make you smile... you don't smile that often, do you?
It's easier to be alone, I agree with you. No one to hurt you, no one to betray you... no one to love you...
But when the opposite of loneliness happens even for a single chance moment it's like wildfire. It spreads in many forms. First - a need, second - expectations, third - an acceptance, fourth - dread, fifth - mistakes and last (this one is my favourite) - broken and left alone. Again.
That's what you bring to my life.
A need to be with you, to expect that you are not like everyone else, I accepted you for all your flaws and you accepted me for all my clowns, I dreaded every day waiting for the inevitable, the mistakes of us even thinking this could work and then it happens, we break, shatter, combust and finally left alone.
Now every day is torture. Because now we don't know how to be alone again...
---
After you left, I let out a loud breath through my mouth, which I didn't know I was holding back. I put the cup with shaking hands on the counter and ran to the restroom. Locking the door behind me, I grabbed the sink and looked at myself in the mirror. My cheeks were red and my mouth kept opening and closing like a fish. I squirmed and locked my thighs tightly, closing my eyes as I tried to gather myself.
I had never felt that kind of sexual tension. So raw and primal, almost as if something else inhabited my body. That was my first red flag. I wasn't me when I was around you. I could feel myself pulse down there in yearning and pure need. I badly needed a release.
I often replay our first encounter in my head. What could I have said or done differently? I could have played dumb and uncaring. I was exactly that, a dumb, uncaring, mildly funny and peaceful bitch. Yet I was none of those around you. I acted on impulse.
My weak heart can't handle all that you are and all that you bring into my life. Yet, I was ready for the storm. I had already made up my mind that night. I wanted to feel whatever heartache was ready for me after these crashes and burns. I was going to pursue you. But I was going to make you earn it...
I hope you do so soon, I am much too impatient for this to work my way and that hardly ever happens.
The next day, all of my confidence had already left my body the moment I stepped out of my bed. What could possibly make me think you would show up again in a place like Moose's Diner?
I saw your car through the diner's window when you left, a black Mercedes with tinted black windows. I knew you came from money, a car like that and a man such as you didn't belong to the part of town I lived and worked at.
I And Timothy specifically chose this place when we smuggled ourselves here in a cargo ship. We wanted to live the rest of our lives, unbothered, in peace, bored out of our minds and normal, something we both craved, from the very first time we had the sense of realisation of the household we were born into.
If you had met me in my glory days as a drug lord's daughter, you probably wouldn't have recognised me, I used to be dressed in the best of the best, jewels of many colours, diamonds and shine adorned my neck, hands and fingers.
Underneath those jewels, silk and cashmere were my scars... burnt, cut, carved, stabbed into my delicate skin from the weight of the duties I have had to fulfil in order to keep me and Timothy alive. The riches were there to show the world what a beautiful daughter Tito and Petunia birthed. They hid the scars, because what a shame it would be that the girl destined to one day, warm the bed of Tito's many future alliances is broken beyond repair.
I need you to know, Rage. I looked delicate because I adored my beauty because of the luxurious treatments and power it brought me but I was far from one. I was a monster beneath all of this. I might give you an upper hand one day, but only if I allow it. You will never be able to take it from me.
Nevertheless, I picked out a cream-coloured lacey crop top and a skater skirt that hid my belly button, it reached just under my buttocks. I felt sexy because, underneath this top and skirt, I wore nothing but a thong that I planned on showing you one day... I was counting on it.
I was dressed for you, Rage... and every day after that, everything I chose to wear, I did so to take every single breath away from you.
After attending two of my classes at the local college - I study psychology, I made my way to the bus stop, towards Moose's Diner. I turned many heads that day, I felt powerful and indestructible because none of those college boys could ever get what I plan on giving you, Rage - Me.
Ever since you left the evening before, no one has uttered a single word in the staff, not even Moose, all of us in shock at what had happened that evening.
It was very kind of you to send someone to clean up the mess the truck driver made on our floor. Moose would have made me clean that up and trust me, that isn't how low I plan on going for you.
It was turning out to be another boring day, I attended to many customers and thanks to me playing dress-up for you, many customers tipped me well, many tried to touch the goods but I didn't let them, my creepy smile and snarky jabs were enough for them to know I don't plan on giving them anything I was dressed for.
Would you believe me if I told you - I felt you when you were near me? The silence enveloped me, the coldness seeped up my legs and the air shifted. Suddenly it was so quiet, I could feel my ear buzz and my heartthrob. I turned to look at the door and that's when you entered.
I smiled. I smiled because the moment you entered, you seek me out with those dark emotionless eyes of yours. You don't let go of my gaze as you sit exactly where you sat last time. The front booth.
But I wasn't going to make it easier for you, remember? I was going to make you earn me. So I made you wait, I made you watch me as man after man who were nothing compared to you, tried to put their hands around me as they ordered their food and drinks, flirting as if they were only now noticing me. I smiled, took orders, and passed on their drinks, but not once did I look your way.
When I couldn't bear the weight of your stare on me, I finally turned. I watched you burn, Rage. I realised why you were named, Rage. You somehow express only one emotion - rage.
Watching you burn was a thrill I could never stop seeking.
I smiled sweetly, your jaw ticked as I made my towards you. It felt like a scene straight out of a movie, a slow-motion torture as I came closer to you.
In an instant, I was hit by your perfume and the heat you carried with you. I wanted to bury my face in your chest and inhale deeply, feeling the warmth of your body and feeling safe under your strong muscles. You were dressed in a casual white T-shirt and dark jeans. How could you make such simple clothes so sexy? I never want to see you in any other colour but white.
"Coffee" you snapped, before I could smile widely and use my 'customer service' voice to make you feel welcome. I give a slight nod and made my way to the counter to grab a cup and fill it with coffee.
And just like yesterday, your mere presence made people hurry out the door with their bills paid. Loudly and with a tad bit of attitude I put the cup in front of you and leave you alone with your devices.
Somewhere past midnight, one hour before I leave for home, you drop another hundred dollar bill at your table and without another word or a stolen glance, you leave.
You spent three hours drinking a coffee that was no longer warm, staring, watching and seething as I attended to the customers who hurried out the door the moment they realised you were here. None touched their food or waited long enough for their food to arrive but the bills were paid, tips were given and you were gone before I could muster up the courage to ask you if you needed anything else. Even Moose didn't come to attend to you.
I huff and made my way to the kitchen to help Steve pack up.
"He looks at you as if he can't wait to eat you alive, you need to stay away from him baby girl. He is bad news. Shit - if he ever finds out I said this, he will probably kill me. Just please stay away from him, okay?" Steve whispers as I help him carry trays to the sink, the intensity of his words sinking in with his eyes boring into me with seriousness.
I nodded. What could I possibly say? I was the one who was playing this game.
A month went by and Steve's warning fell on deaf ears.
---
You could smell the rain waiting to free itself from the sky. In late May - the air was starting to become cooler. That's when it finally happened...
You made it known that you did notice me and you were done playing the game. Now it was time to act...