Enfri's suite had grown cold after Ban left. He'd woken her as Sasha's feast with Adeyemi drew near, and Ban had been dear enough not to mention the spot of drool Enfri had left on his shirt. He then went off to get himself ready, but not before finding Jin to tell her that Enfri was awake.
Dear Ban. Enfri thought she and Jin were lucky to have him on their side.
She was almost dressed for the coming event and stood in front of her vanity mirror to put on the finishing touches. Her gown was a pale dandelion yellow that matched well with her hair and contrasted with her skin. There was a layer of wool beneath the silk for warmth, and the neckline went up to her throat. She had nothing in the way of jewelry, but Pacifica had insisted on giving a few pieces as gifts.
Enfri now wore an emerald ring on the middle finger of her right hand. It was engraved with the House Yora sigil, a signet ring intended for the head of house. More emeralds hung from her ears, and a jade comb was waiting on her vanity.
Deebee, shockingly, had a gift for her also, though she'd been evasive about saying where she acquired it. It was a necklace and pendant set with a large, pink opal, as well as a matching bracelet. Enfri was grateful, but she wondered how long Deebee had kept such a beautiful piece in her holding spell.
"Never you mind that, girl," Deebee had said when pressed. "When a dragon gives something from her hoard, it's nothing to dwell and ask questions over. It does my heart good to see you wearing it."
Afterwards, Deebee flew out through the window on a mysterious errand. Ever since she woke up, Deebee had been more cryptic than usual. She claimed that she didn't wish to burden Enfri when her thoughts needed to be elsewhere, but she eventually promised that all would be clear before long.
"Soon, love," Deebee said. "I think you'll be pleasantly surprised after so much bad news."
What is that blustering lizard up to? Enfri wondered. She certainly seemed pleased with herself. Or just eager. Winds, but Deebee can be hard to read when she gets like this.
Enfri wished that her own nap could have been as reinvigorating. If not for Ban serving as her pillow, she doubted she'd have gotten any rest. As she slept, Enfri had had the most bizarre dream. Ban was in it. He and Enfri were having tea in her old house on the desert's edge. Everything was peaceful and calm, Enfri chatting about her day, Ban listening and conveying news from Sandharbor. It had been as if they were married and living on the homestead during a comfortable life together.
Mildly disconcerting, Enfri believed, but far from unpleasant. Had her life gone down a different path, she might have been quite taken with Ban Karst. He was kind, brave, handsome, and she'd caught herself stealing appreciative glances at his backside, once or twice. In Enfri's opinion, Rippling Moon was a fortunate woman, because if nothing else, Ban was a phenomenal napping partner.
The dream hadn't become truly odd until others entered into it. First had been Kiffa Smith, Enfri's former apprentice. Then Kiffa's eldest brother, Haythe, whom Enfri had wanted to marry when she was younger. It was only two weeks since Enfri last saw them, but it felt like ages. The reunion was bittersweet.
There'd been others from Sandharbor as well, Goodwife Cobbler, the Tanner brothers, Nchika, Alstai Thatcher, Goodman and Oldwife Wainwright, and the Cooper family. They were all as Enfri remembered them, vibrant and alive, her dear friends and neighbors. And then, as one, Ban and the goodfolk of Sandharbor prostrated themselves before her. All the while, a dark voice laughed and said that was how it should always have been.
You are an empress, it continued to whisper. Take what is owed to you.
Just what do you think is owed to me? Enfri thought back.
Everything! By rights, the Continent belongs to you alone!
Enfri frowned as she put up her hair. She shouldn't have engaged with the blustering voice in her head. Upon reflection, there was no way it could have been anything but a bad idea.
She tugged at a stubborn knot in her hair. The tangle occupied her attention as a warm presence came up behind her.
"This comes too late, my heart. It occurs to me that I have never said this before."
Enfri turned away from the mirror. After an hour of staring at her own face, she was rather sick of herself. "Never said what?" she asked.
Jin's dress was amazing. It was one rarely seen in the south, leaving her shoulders bare and showing more leg than was the norm in Ecclesia. It accented both her figure and muscles, and the vibrant silk was a shade of blue that couldn't fail to capture Enfri's rapt attention.
Smiling, Jin came closer and caressed her fingers along Enfri's throat, then lifted her chin. Enfri swallowed and tried hard to keep her thoughts from going blank. As always, Jin's eyes left her feeling as if she'd been set on fire and plunged into a cold river at the same time. Piercing, Jin's eyes could see into the depths of Enfri's soul, and they adored all they found there.
"I have never said how beautiful you are." Jin leaned down and brushed her lips against Enfri's. "I do not wish to share you with anyone else, no matter how brief it may be."
"Jin, please," Enfri whispered through her grin. "I'm more nervous than I've ever been, and you want to play?"
A wordless hum was her only response. That, and a hand finding its way under her skirt. The next kiss on her neck was accompanied by a playful lick.
Enfri inhaled sharply. She held on to Jin's shoulders and needed to hang on tight to keep herself from falling over. That hand was questing further than was decent. "If you rumple my gown, I'll be mad."
"Well, we do not want that." Jin gave her one last kiss then assisted with Enfri's hair.
"You're impossible," Enfri scolded half-heartedly. "I can't show my face if I'm all hot and bothered."
"I imagine the weather outside will settle you, my heart."
Enfri raised an eyebrow. It was difficult to tell if Jin was making light of the situation or being serious. The former came so rarely that it always took her by surprise. "I thought you'd be more on edge over all this."
Jin's lips drew together. She picked up Enfri's jade comb and set it in place. "I am. Of all the dangers you and I have faced, tonight is the worst."
"You're that afraid of King Adeyemi?"
She paused. "No. He and my father have long been close friends, and I often think of Adeyemi as an uncle. He is a good man, but he is also a vassal of Althandor. It is not for myself that I am afraid."
Enfri fought back a wince. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."
"I love you," Jin interrupted. "No matter what you feel responsible for, that will never change."
"Still..." Enfri folded her hands and couldn't meet Jin's eyes. "If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be in this position."
"I imagine that is true," Jin said.
Enfri looked up, close to feeling stung.
"I would not be in love," Jin continued. "I would not be about to escort my heart of hearts to a king's table. I would be in the City of Althandor right now, doing my father's bidding, and living my lonely life while serving as an assassin in his name." She held Enfri's gaze. "Since the moment we first danced, my heart, there has not been one day where I have not wanted to weep in gratitude for knowing you. I would pay any price for just one day more."
Enfri struggled to keep her eyes dry. "You don't need to pay anything. I will never leave you, my light."
Jin smiled as her own eyes were glistening. "Together, then. You and I can face anything."
They embraced, holding on tight. When they pulled from each other, Enfri was startled to see Jin's face awash with an expression of the deepest guilt.
"My heart, I must confess something to you."
Enfri touched her cheek. "What is it?"
"My... I once harbored..."
"Winds, Jin. You always get like this."
She frowned, affronted. "Get like what?"
"Tongue-tied and adorable when you're nervous. Out with it."
Jin sighed and collected herself. "When I was younger, I... pined... for Princess Omolade. I was not discreet with my admiration." She waited for Enfri's reaction, one that wasn't coming.
"And?"
"Are you not upset?"
"Winds and storms, I do have eyes, you know. I caught sight of Omolade, and I wouldn't blame anyone for having a crush on her." Enfri looked to the side. "Her arms, though... No, I wouldn't blame anyone."
"Deebee is correct. You are a wicked, little thing. And here I was preparing to bring up your sleeping beside Ban to turn the tables."
Enfri gave her a suffering look. "The Jin I know would rather throw herself off a cliff than use false evidence."
"You know me so well. But we should go. I mustn't allow myself to delay your arrival to your own party."
Enfri accepted Jin's offered hand and let her lead the way out of the room. "It's hardly my party. It's merely a welcoming feast put on for Adeyemi's visit."
"So it says on the invitations, but everyone knows the true purpose of this night. King Adeyemi the Akazewi is to take his full measure of Lady Enfri the Yora. As is the whole of Ecclesia's nobility."
Enfri chewed the inside of her cheek. "Who else will be there?"
"I'm told Light Hoof agreed to come. He and several others from his tribe will attend."
"That's good. Might we sit near them?"
"I would like that as well. There have been ships from the Altieri Peninsula. Several houses have arrived to seek asylum in Ecclesia from the unrest elsewhere in Altier Nashal. A branch of House Karst is among them, as is House Drunov."
"That's good. I think Ban could use help from the rest of his family." Enfri furrowed her brow. "Drunov sounds familiar. Remind me?"
"You recall Lady Deimi Drunov? Pacifica's handmaiden."
"Ah, of course. Is Deimi alright?"
"Her journey was not without trouble, but she is unharmed. In truth, House Drunov's arrival is a great victory for Sasha. Lord Vago the Drunov brought six hundred armsmen and twenty knights with him from the peninsula, which will be invaluable in defending Ecclesia if one of the other cities decides to attack."
"Is it really that bad out there?" Enfri asked.
Jin nodded grimly. "Perhaps worse. General Kastus may be dead, but Valdar is still a powerful house. They've proclaimed themselves the royal house of Taerbia, the easternmost port city. Kastus' uncle has vowed revenge against both Karst and Romov. Many from the First Legion now serve him."
"The civil war isn't over," Enfri said sadly. "It started as Rodrik's fiction, but it came true in the end."
"As you say," Jin agreed. "There will be some others of note tonight, but your focus should remain on House Akazewi."
"And if they try something?"
Jin stared straight ahead as she gave her answer. "I will keep you safe."
There was no doubt in Enfri's mind of what Jin meant by that. If things went poorly at the feast, if things turned deadly, Jin had every intention of putting a blade in Adeyemi. Enfri only hoped it wouldn't come to that.
Jin had suffered enough for her sake.
Let her suffer, the voice said. Let her kill. She will kill him for you, and with luck she will fall as well. The abomination is dangerous. You cannot trust her loyalties.
Enfri already had enough cause to despise the dark voice. It had crossed a line.
How dare you? she demanded of it. I trust Jin a thousand times more than I trust a figment of my imagination.
The voice laughed derisively. Do you truly believe that a Thandi savage could love an Aleesh? The daan have ever been faithless dogs.
Go to Hell!
Where do you think I am, Enfri? Who do you think it is that speaks to you?
Enfri stopped in her tracks, eyes wide. Jin turned to her with a look of concern.
Stay strong, Enfri.
"What is it, my heart? Are you well?"
"Who are you?" Enfri whispered.
"Enfri?"
You speak of costs, the voice said, yet you never ask of the price you must pay.
"Enfri, answer me!"
Elder magic flows in your veins. The cost, girl.
Shivering, Enfri hugged her arms across her chest. She was barely aware of how Jin stood in front of her and looked into her eyes. What she saw wasn't the corridors of the Salt Stone Palace, but a vast plain of sand. She was alone, and the Espalla Dunes were all around her. The remains of a vast city lay ahead. It wasn't the ancient ruin she had seen with her waking eyes. Broken, dead, and destroyed as it was, this city was far grander than Marwin could have ever been.
The Imperial City of Shan Alee.
You carry elder blood. You carry the burden of the Dragon Emperors.
"Winds save me," Enfri whispered.
You carry it. As I once did. As we all once did.
Out of the sand rose a figure. A man, tall and beautiful. His robes were white and left his powerful chest bare. His hair was long and golden, his skin was brown, and his eyes were green like emeralds. He had a cruel face, and his throat was crossed by a jagged wound from where he cut his own throat. Enfri had never seen him or his likeness, but she knew his name.
Blood knew its own blood.
I am with you, Enfri, Shoen said to her. "As are we all."
Behind him, more figures rose from the sand. Tall and terrible men and women with golden hair and green eyes stood in rows that stretched out for hundreds of generations. Each was adorned with precious stones and metal, each wore revealing clothing to put their perfect bodies on display. The Dragon Emperors and Empresses who had reigned over Shan Alee stared at her. Judging. Expecting. Demanding.
Their voices were one. It was the same voice as hers. "You will reclaim what was taken from us. You will become the instrument of our vengeance."
Enfri shook her head. She denied it. Better to have never left Sandharbor. Better to have died at an assassin's hand than face this. The vision of the Imperial City and its ancient rulers faded and left her looking into Jin's frightened eyes.
"My heart, please. Speak to me!"
Stay strong, Enfri.
Desperate, she threw her arms around Jin. She clung to her as if that was all that could keep her from being swept into madness. Jin served as the anchor to reality.
Holding Enfri to her chest, Jin stroked her hair to give her comfort. "What's wrong?"
Unable to speak, Enfri held on. She was too afraid to blink, fearing that if she lost sight of the real world for an instant, she would be spirited back to that place of sand and ghosts.
Have I gone mad? she wondered. It was near to a prayer. Madness would be preferable to it being true.
"I'm sorry," Enfri said at last, her voice hoarse and tense. She didn't make to pull away from Jin, instead using her wrist to wipe at her eyes. "I was... It just hit me all at once."
She darted a furtive glance to Jin. Confusion and worry were painted across her face in equal measures. "I will take you back. If you aren't yet fully recovered from the oren..."
"No," Enfri interrupted. She let go of Jin and stepped away. Her hands shook as she touched at her hair and comb to see if they'd been mussed up. "I'm well, my light. I have to do this. I only needed to let my nerves have me for a moment so I can go on."
An empress must do as is required of her, Shoen whispered.
Enfri breathed in deeply and let it back out. She didn't have the strength to silence him right now. If she couldn't escape the whispers of her elder blood, perhaps she could get by with simply ignoring them. She wished for a headache in the hopes it would pain them as well.
A hand touched her arm. Jin looked into her eyes, seeking some insight into Enfri's mind. "That is not the whole of it. Please, tell me what happened."
I can't just say, Enfri thought. What would I even tell her? So sorry, Jin, but I've either lost my marbles or there's a gaggle of dead Aleesh lurking in my head. Nothing much. Off to dinner, then? No, I need to learn more about what's happening to me before I say anything.
Jin looked down at her feet. "I would stand beside you against the world, my heart. Perhaps... when you are ready?"
"Of course," Enfri said. She took Jin's hands and held them to her. "Thank you. I'll tell you everything, once I figure out my own head."
"A daunting task," Jin said, cracking a smile.
Enfri snorted and let herself be led towards the feast hall. All the while, a chorus of voices howled at the perceived disrespect shown to her. With great satisfaction, Enfri pushed them aside to a silent corner of her awareness. So long as Jin was with her, she felt she could endure their bile.
Her own bile, perhaps. There was an uncomfortable possibility she didn't much like to consider. An old scar continued to ache deep inside, no matter how often she thought it was healed.
Jin wouldn't know. Maybe a part, but she couldn't know all of it. Deebee alone could suspect how deep Enfri's scars went. Every moment Enfri spent with her light salved the wound, love fought back the old fear. Only, there was another to take its place, and it delighted in tarnishing any hope for a future she might have with Jin. Insidious, how it could hurt her so badly that Enfri did all she could to forget the pain existed.
A monster did lurk inside her, but its name was not Shoen, Inwe, or even Elise of Eastrun. Its name was Mierwyn Page.