SHOT 44: Distressed
ALTO'S POV
Now I was driving back to the hotel. Nasa backseat lang si Cynth at tahimik siyang nakahiga. The look on her suggested that she's the unlucky victim and I was her effin kidnapper. Tch.
I know … it would be too much if I forced her take this seat beside me, pagkatapos ng nangyari. Swerte pa nga ako dahil napasakay ko parin siya.
Hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang dapat kong isipin, just as I didn't know how to handle it, or her. She seemed to be traumatized by it, ngunit posible rin na dati pa man ay mayroon na siyang trauma. Nonetheless, I was still feeling guilt—a laden, unadulterated guilt. It was really pricking its way into my whole system, making my heart feel like it was getting ripped out of my chest cavity.
Hinayaan ko na mangyari ang nakakahindik na bagay na iyon. Kung sana naging mas maingat lang ako. Kung sana naging mas mabilis lang ang response ko when I saw that fvcking van. Hindi ko sana nakitang muli ang walang kulay niyang mukha. It was like before at akala ko astraphobia lang. Pero ngayon, I might have inflicted her another phobia. Damn.
We reached the same hotel. Nakilala pa kami ng guard doon at hinanapan din kami ng area to park my car. Mukhang hindi nabawasan ang guests nila at puno parin ang kanilang parking lot.
Lumabas din si Cynth at sumunod sakin. Hindi ko inasahan pero hinayaan ko narin. I actually thought she would just be staying inside. Ngunit sana ay hindi dahil sa hindi na niya matagalan na manatili sa loob ng kotse ko kaya siya lumabas. Damn, kasalanan ko kasi ito.
We emerged into the lobby area with her tailing me, tahimik pero at least kalmado na. Kaso ako … umiinit talaga ang dugo ko dahil sa inis sa sarili.
"Guys! Bakit kayo bumalik?"
I cocked my head towards the girl who called us and noticed it was Sheena with her baggage at mukhang may tina-transaksyon siya sa front desk clerk.
"May naiwan lang," mababa kong sagot. Wala rin akong mukhang maihaharap sa babaeng ito.
She raised eyebrows and glanced at Cynth. Agad niyang napansin ang kanyang hindi karaniwang lagay at nagtanong, "Anong nangyari?" She sounded worried when she turned back at me with a questioning face.
I let out another deep breath at nagsimulang umamin sa mababang tono, "Kanina kasi … muntik na kaming mabangga. Sa tingin ko na-trauma siya dahil don."
Saglit siyang natigilan nang nakakunot ang noo. Tila hindi siya agad naniwala nang ibalik niya ang tingin kay Cynth. She mouthed with an unsure tone, "Ano kaya kung tumigil muna kayo dito? Ikaw Alto, kunin mo nalang sa taas yung naiwan niyo. I'll try talk to her."
"Uhm … sige," atubili kong sagot.
"Go na. Tawagin nalang kita pag ayos na siya. Shoo. Alis." She lightly pushed me towards the stairs. Wala ditong elevator kasi dalawang palapag lang, bed and breakfast lang.
I walked upstairs and got myself in front of their door. I made knocks ngunit walang tumutugon. Kumatok akong muli at maya-maya, binuksan na ng isa sa kanila ang pintuan.
"Pre! Bumalik ka ah!" Inakbayan niya ako and ushered me inside. Nakipag-fist bumps pa sila sakin. Napansin ko rin na hindi na apat ang bote nila ng alak at nadoble pa ito. Were they planning to drink two bottles each? Malalakas din pala silang uminom.
Napansin niya na naagaw ng mga boteng iyon ang atensyon ko. "Shot ‘til you drop. Sali ka!" May inabot siya saking baso na may konting alak. Nakangisi siya sakin ngunit imiling lang ako. Gustuhin ko mang saluhan sila diyan pero hindi. I was not supposed to be drinking here on this kind of situation. Babyahe pa ako mamaya.
SHEENA'S POV
Akala ko kanina maaga akong makakauwi but I guess my guess was wrong. Excited pa naman akong bumalik sa bahay. Homesick na ko dito. Kaso nga lang kasi … itong si Cynthia …
I seated her on one of the couches situated here on the lobby area. Well, isang set lang naman ang nandito. She was speechless and her head was hanging down. Trauma? Sabi ni Alto parang na-trauma raw ang babaeng ito. Mehged! I was not even a psychologist, o kung ano man yung kelangan ng isang traumatized! Bakit ngayon ko lang naisip na baka wala rin akong magawa?
Now what, Sheena? Ang galing mo kasing magmagaling tapos mamomroblema ka rin! I face-palmed myself at tiningnan si Cynthia on the corner of my eyes.
Okay, Sheena, darling, kalma lang. Inhale. Exhale.
I turned completely at her gloomy appearance. Wala na yung ngiti niya kanina. Pati yung sigla nung namamasyal kami. Si Alto talaga! Masasakal ko yun mamaya eh! Kung di siya papayag, ire-rape ko nalang siya! Haha. Biro lang.
I inched closer at her. I gave her a warm, soft smile even if she's not glancing back. Sa ibaba lang ang tingin niya. "Talk, Cynthia. Promise, I'll listen."
Umiling siya. "Ayos lang ako."
"No, you're not." Convenient din palang panganay ako saming magkakapatid at halos mga mas bata ang kasama ko lagi. Now I could act like a big sister or something.
She sighed, her face full of melancholy. She finally glanced at me and returned a soft smile. Muli siyang nagkaila, "Ayos lang talaga ako."
I frowned at her. "You need to tell it. Para mabawasan ang bigat. Alam kong natakot ka pero look, buhay pa kayong dalawa. Walang galos, ni gasgas. Haays. O sige na nga, you might be okay physically, pero alam kong distressed ka parin, Cynthia. I can listen."
"Pero …."
"Sabihin mo yung takot mo, yung naramdaman mo kanina. Word it out. Wag mong kimkimin."
Kumuha siya ng isa sa mga throw pillow sa couch at niyakap yun. I noticed her breathing down. Nagsimula siyang magsalita sa isang mahinang tinig, "May … mayroon kasi akong naalala. H-hindi ko …." She pursed her lips at nakita kong may namumuong luha sa gilid ng kanyang mga mata. Humigpit ang yakap niya sa kanyang unan at naisipan kong hagurin ang kanyang likod. She leaned herself on me at itinago niya ang kanyang mukha.
Hinintay ko siyang magsalita ngunit wala nang sumunod. I checked on her dahil nagtaka ko, at nakita kong wala na siyang malay.
Waaah? Hala Cynthia!!! Bakit mo ko iniwan?!
Err. I mean … bakit mo ko tinulugan? Ayos din itong babaeng ito ah, tinutulugan ako?
Bumuga ako ng hangin bago ko silipin ang aking relo. Ilang minuto nalang at alas sais na. Anong oras ko siya gigisingin? After thirty minutes? No, gawin kong twenty. Kailangan ko paring umuwi eh.
After twenty minutes, inalog ko na siya to wake her up. She moaned and opened her squinting eyes. Nanliliit pa ang mga mata niya nang tiningnan niya ako. "Sheena?"
"Morning!!!" Tumawa ako ng bahagya at agad siyang nag-panic.
"Ha?! Morning? Dito ako nakatulog? Shemay! Di ako nakapagsabi kay Dad! Lagot ako neto!!!" Tumayo siya at nagpalinga-linga sa paligid. "Si Alto, nasaan?"
"Hahaha!!! Kalma Cynthia!" Mas malakas na ang tawa ko ngayon. Ayos. She was back on her character. Tulog lang pala ang katapat mo eh! Dapat kinantahan nalang kita ng lullaby kesa nagpaka-ate ako kanina.
"Eh pano kasi …."
"Look, 6:15 palang ng gabi! Haha!" I showed her my watch while giving her a big, sheepish grin.
Her jaw dropped at the realization and yelled, "Grabe ka Sheena! Pinakaba mo ‘ko!!!"
"Peace na, girl! Bagong gising ka lang kaya ‘Morning’ ang greet ko sayo."
She blinked several times. "Bakit nga ba ako natutul—" Naglaho ang kanyang tinig. Mukhang ngayon lang niya naalala ang kondisyon niya kanina.
"Ayos ka na?"
She nodded but with a frown. "Thank you dahil sinamahan mo ko dito. Sorry kasi naistorbo pa kita."
"Hindi yan ang tanong ko! Pero sure, you're welcome." I smiled then stood up. "Ano? Uwi narin kayo? Nasa room si Alto kasama yung mga lasenggo."
Nanguna na ako sa kanya pagtaas sa second floor. I knocked at the proper door and waited pero walang nagbubukas. Hey … don't tell me natutulog na silang lahat?
CYNTHIA'S POV
"Sheena, wala ka bang susi diyan?" tanong ko na nag-aalala. Wala kasing sumasagot mula sa likuran ng pinto.
I tried to knock too. Sana kahit isa sa kanila ay hindi pa knock out. Hindi naman siguro sila binisita ni Pacman diyan sa loob, no? At anong nangyari kay Alto? Nakitulog din ba siya? O kaya …?
I gasped. Nooooo!!! They did not do something, did they?!
Sheena murmured, "Baka ayaw paistorbo ng mga boys. Lima sila diyan sa loob. Ay! Paano yung isa walang partner?!!"
I glared at her. "Ano ba yang iniisip mo?"
"Ow! Baka referee lang yung isa!" She grinned sheepishly. Then she gripped the knob and knocked harder. "Ehmehged! Gusto kong mapanuod!"
"Sheena!!!" Grabe, nakaka-frustrate! Talagang ipagpilitan?
"Ano ka ba? Boxing ang tinutukoy ko! Haha! Di ka na mabiro." Tinulak pa niya ako sa balikat habang nakangisi.
"Ow syur! Boxing na kung boxing!" I breathed down, nang biglang bumukas yung pinto. We both turned at it when Alto showed himself. And…
He seemed different. Yep, pogi parin, nakadamit parin ng cardigan na blue, buo parin ang katawan … pero iba eh. His hair was ruffled. Bagsak narin ang mga mata niya. He was slouching when he opened the door wider.
Kunot-noo ko siyang pinagmamasdan at hindi pinansin ang loob ng silid nang lumapit siya sakin at nang walang pasabi, he hugged me. God, he hugged me?! Nang hindi ko alam kung bakit! Alto, kelan ka pa naging manyak?
I also noticed his clothes … it was soaked. I shook him kaso hindi na siya gumalaw. I checked on him at may isa pa akong napansin na nakagigilalas na bagay. Please tell me I'm wrong.
I glanced at Sheena with a troubled face. "Pano to … nakainom ata."
Napanganga nalang si Sheena while looking at me, then at the guy who was leaning against me. Alto tightened his hug na naging dahilan kung bakit ko pinigilan ang aking paghinga. I dunno if my face turned red but I hoped not.
I tried to break away with all the force I could exert and pushed him, at muntikan na siyang matumba. Too good, nagawa niyang humawak sa pader at napanatili niya ang kanyang balance. Although he was still looking down, so dejected, for who knows what reason. Ganito ba siya pag nag-iinom? And what got into him to drink? Tss.
Sumunod kong tiningnan ang loob ng kwarto. Unexpectedly, I widened eyes as well.
Tila mayroong dumaang bagyo. Anong nangyari? Parang may sumalakay na isang kumpol ng alien at tinangkang sakupin ang Room 204. Wala na silang lahat malay at tila iniwanan na sila ng kanilang mga kaluluwa.
Humakbang ako papasok at ganoon din ang ginawa ni Sheena. I instantly noticed the smell of the room. It was reeking with the smell of alcohol and it was pinching my nose. Buti hindi nila naisipang mag-yosi sa loob nito.
"Uy Sheena. Anong gagawin natin sa mga yan?" tanong ko habang inginunguso ang mga walang malay na nakahilata sa sahig.
Lumapit siya sa isa at tinapik-tapik ang pisngi nito. "Lorenz, buhay ka pa? Wuy!"
Umungol lang si Lorenz at umiba ng pwesto. Niyakap pa ang bewang ni Sheena. She pouted while shoving the guy off. "Ihelera nalang natin sila sa kama. Wala eh, bagsak na ang mga tungaw na to."
I sighed. Pinagdikit namin ang dalawang single bed at isa-isang inihagis—este, ihiniga pala doon na parang sardinas ang apat na ungas. Ang bibigat nila! Dapat hinayaan nalang namin sila sa lapag!
Then I located the things I left behind. Kung hindi ko lang sana ito naiwan, hindi dapat nangyari yung kanina eh. Kasalanan ko talaga yun. Paniguradong nag-alala na naman sakin si—
I instantly glanced back at him. Nakaupo na siya sa sahig with his head hanging down. Something popped into my head and I gasped. Lumingon ako kay Sheena who looked back at me and shrugged.
"Ngayon parin kayo uuwi? Hindi na yan makakapag-drive. Ano ba ang naisipan niyan at nakisali dito sa mga to? Grabe yang boyfriend mo hindi nag-iisip." Umiling-uling si Sheena sakin.
"Hindi ko siya boyfriend!" agad kong depensa. Bakit ba lagi nalang may ganoong komento tungkol saming dalawa?
She supplied, "Depressed yan kanina. Sobra mo atang pinag-alala. But I still didn't expect him to join them drink."
"Anong gagawin ko?"
"Marunong kang mag-drive?"
Bumuga ako ng hangin saka imiling nang nakatungo.
"Wala tayong magagawa kung ganon. Call your Dad. Dito na kayo magpalipas ng gabi," suggestion niya, na parang napakadali lang nun. Hindi kaya! Saan ako matutulog? Sabi ko pa naman kay Mama eh uuwi kami agad. Mapagtanong ko siyang tiningnan nang nagpatuloy siyang magsalita, "Get a room for the both of you. It’s as simple as that, Cynthia." She grinned. Ays! Tama na nga yang kagi-grin mo sakin.
"Anong simple ka diyan? Ayoko!" I glanced at the guy again. My face looked really troubled and I didn't want this feeling.
"Haha! Come on! Para namang may mangyayari. Knocked down na yang boyfie mo oh."
I pouted. "Sabing hindi nga."
She grabbed my arm and dragged me towards the door. Dala ko narin yung souvenir t-shirts na naiwan ko. We went out of the door at nakita kong nagpipilit ding sumunod si Alto saming likuran. Kaso para siyang zombie!
We told him to just sit on the couch before the stairs and like an obedient puppy, he collapsed himself on top of it. Tss. Naglasing pa kasi!
"Sorry … Cynth."
Patalikod na ako nang narinig kong bumulong siya. I glanced back at him with knitted eyebrows.
"Sorry. Kasalanan ko talaga," bumulong siya ulit habang nakapikit. Hindi siya boses lasing, parang boses pagod lang. Nakabuka ang bibig niya at parang mula doon siya humihinga. He looked so helpless … weak … na tila mayroon din siyang pinagdadaanan.
And he told me he was sorry.
Ngunit para saan? I pondered about it at may isa akong naalala. Sheena did tell me he was really worried about me. Hindi ko ma-imagine kung paano ako nag-behave kanina. But I was sure I didn't look good.
Siguro nga totoo. He was really worried. At nagso-sorry siya ngayon. Sinisisi ba niya ang kanyang sarili sa nangyari? Kaya ba siya nag-inom dahil sakin?
Bumaba na kami papuntang lobby. We asked for a room at buti nalang, tumatanggap sila ng walk-in guests. Agad-agad kong tinanong kung ano yung kama nila dun sa room and guess what? Isang queen sized bed!
It would have been good if not only for the company. For heaven's sake, si Alto ang kasama ko dun!
"W-wala na bang ibang room? Yung dalawang single bed sana Miss," I asked with trembling lips.
"Fully-booked po kami ngayon, Maam Cynthia. Yung Room 208 nalang ang vacant."
Sheena turned to me and smiled. "Ayos lang yan. Dun ako natulog kagabi. Kaka-check out ko lang kanina nung bumalik kayo. Buti nga at merong available na room."
Napataas ang kilay ko. "Ahh. Talaga ha? At sinong kasama mo dun, aber?"
Ngumisi siya sakin. "Si Lorenz?"
My jaw dropped. Wala naman siguro silang ginawa dun … diba? Gaaaah. Ayokong itanong. I didn't wanna know.
"Kukunin niyo na po ba yung room, Maam?" singit samin nung babae dun sa desk.
"Yes please. Thank you!" Si Sheena na ang sumagot at sumimangot nalang ako sa tabi. Parang siya ang magche-check in ah.
The lady said that she would just be checking if the room was ready.
Tumaas kami ni Sheena at hinanap sa bulsa ni Alto ang susi ng kanyang kotse. I went down with the key to get our things. Si Sheena, nagpaiwan siya dun sa tapat ng stairs with Alto's company.
Bumalik ako sa loob ng hotel at binati ako ng babae sa desk, saying that Sheena already got the key and all I had to do was to go upstairs and look for the room. So there, dahil masunurin naman ako ay ginawa ko yun. Wala na nga sa couch yung dalawa.
I finally located the room and knocked. Si Sheena ang nagbukas para sakin. Pumasok ako at lumingon sa loob. Halos katulad lang nung isang room—same size, same wall color, same window, same lay-out. Wala lang yung amoy alak and the room smelled fresh and clean.
I set my gaze at the bed and in an instant, I held my breath. Nakahimlay na dun si Alto, sa side na mas malapit sa pinto.
"Sheena … samahan mo na ko dito please?" I begged with hopelessness lingering on my voice. I didn't want to drift into sleep beside him! He's a guy! And most importantly, he's drunk!
Sheena pinched my cheek. "Haha! Ang cute mo talaga!"
I pouted like a kid. "Sheena naman …."
"Chill. Tulog na kaya yan. He won't do anything harmful." She winked.
Oh brother. Bakit nangyayari ito sakin?
My phone rang and I scooped it out from my bag. Si Dad, tinatawagan ako. Shoot. What should I say?
I calmed myself and picked the call up, "Dad?"
{"Sweetheart, nasan na kayo? Anong oras ka makakauwi?"}
I bit my lip. Hindi magugustuhan ni Dad if he learned this. I must save myself from his fury. "Ah … Dad. Bukas pa kami makakauwi eh. Hindi ko rin ito inaasahan."
{"Eh? May matutulugan ba kayo diyan?"}
I glanced at Sheena like I was asking her for help. God, my life's doomed if Dad learned this! Sheena, SOS!
"May … room naman kami dito Dad. Don't worry."
{"Sure? Di mo naman siguro katabi yung anak ni Johann."}
I gulped. Si Dad, paano niya alam?! On the sound of his voice he was like threatening me not to ever sleep beside—err. Kahit naman ako eh ayoko talaga. Pero may choice ba ako?
"Syempre naman Dad hindi po! Si Sheena ang katabi ko sa room." I stretched my hand with the phone facing her. "Sheena, talk to Dad!"
Napangiwi siya. “Good evening po, Sir!”
Agad ko ring ibinalik ang aparato sa tenga ko. "Basta Dad. Bukas na bukas ng umaga babiyahe na kami pauwi."
{"Okay. Ingat kayo diyan."}
"Opo Dad, good night!"
I hung the phone up when Sheena sat on the bed. "Talagang idamay ako?" she complained but she was smiling. "Paano ba yan, uuwi na ko ha, Cynthia."
I sighed in surrender and glanced back at the sleeping intoxicated man on the side of the bed. "Hindi pa naman ako sanay na may katabi. Lalo na't lalaki pa."
Kahit sa bahay, mag-isa lang ako sa kwarto. Of course, magkahiwalay kami ni Aldrin ng room. Hindi rin ako nagdo-dorm when I was studying. Buong buhay ko, mag-isa lang talaga akong matulog. May mga instances na meron akong katabi, pero one night lang and she was a girl, kapag may field trip kami o mga retreats noon.
Alto moaned again and moved. Mukhang nagising siya ulit when he tried to sit up. He lifted his head up at me and attempted to reach my hand. Ngunit agad ding bumagsak ang kamay niya bago pa man maabot ang sakin. "Cynth."
Nagkatinginan kami ni Sheena. She moved closer to him and shook him to check if he's really awake.
"Sorry," muling bulong ni Alto. Hanggang ngayon ganun parin ang sinasabi niya.
"Cynthia, basang-basa ang damit nitong boyfie mo. Maghanap ka naman ng pampalit diyan, dali."
"Eh?" I knitted eyebrows when she suddenly pulled his clothes up and successfully removed them. Napasandal naman si Alto sa kanya at mukhang nakatulog ulit.
Embarrassment lingered its way into me when I saw him … ugh … his …
"Kyaa. I expected na sexy rin itong boyfie mo ha. Kaso kinagulat ko parin ‘to. Look, six packs."
"Sheena!!!"
I hurriedly went to his bag and searched inside it. Kainis naman kasi si Sheena! Bigla niyang hinubaran ng walang pasabi and I wasn't prepared! Masyadong mabilis yung pangyayari. Darnit. Yun pala yung mga nakakapa ko before, yung napapakiramdaman ko when he was hugging me tight. Hindi naman kagaya nung mga nakikita ko sa ads pero kahit na, meron parin talaga eh. Kainis! My virgin eyes!
"Eto oh!" Inabot ko kay Sheena yung nakita kong polo. Buti meron siyang dala.
"Wala bang shirt diyan? Pantulog, girl!" Nagpamewang siya habang nakaupo sa kama at hindi kinuha yung inaabot ko.
I forced not to look away at ginantihan siya, "Wag ka nang choosy girl! Tamo nga ang laman ng bag niya. Etong polo, camera at isang steno lang!"
Haays. Lahat ba ng lalaki ganito? Ang laki ng bag tapos tatlong piraso lang ang laman? Napailing nalang ako.
Lumingon muli ako sa kanila. Alto was still leaning his shirtless back on her. Tsk. Ayoko talagang mag-baby sit ng lasing eh.
I sudden thought dinged on my ever-brilliant head when I turned towards my own things. Yung souvenir shirts kaya? I searched for the one which was supposed to be for my Dad and unfolded it, lifted it in the air to check if it could fit him. Medyo malaki ata?
"Yan girl, pwede na yan!"
Sige na nga. Ibibili ko nalang ulit si Dad bukas. Sana hindi ko makalimutan.
Tinulungan ko na siyang bihisan itong kumag na ito tapos isinampa ko yung soaked clothes niya sa isang upuan doon.
Sheena stood up after letting him lie down again. Ayos naman yung size. Mukha lang siyang hip-hop ng konti.
"Alas siete na. Totoo na talaga ‘to, iwan ko na kayo." She handed me the key.
"Thank you, Sheena."
I smiled to hide my frown. Ayoko talagang maiwan dito with Alto. Ako na ang paulit-ulit pero ayoko kasi talaga. I knew I couldn't force her to stay here with us. Ang dami na niyang naitulong sakin.
We hugged before she finally left. Kasalanan ko talaga ito eh. I was the root of all this mess.
+++ Haba pala ng chapter. Please stay tuned po. Thanks! +++