This was just down right ridiculous. It was as if I
was an animal or some kind of prisoner. I was confined to the bed and I meant literally. After my last stunt last week when I tried to kill myself, Lucas had one of my hand handcuffed to the bed's headboard and in addition to that he got some guy to come sit there in the room with me as some guard or watchdog I supposed. He would pull my handcuff whenever I needed to use the bathroom, stand guard outside to make sure I didn't try anything like that again and then handcuff me again when I was done. I was still having withdrawal symptoms and feeling sick to the point where it was starting to get painful. I am sure I'm going to die soon, and the worst part is being confined to this room wasn't helping I really needed to go see or talk to my mom but of course I was again denied that opportunity. Crying, whimpering and begging
didn't work on this guy either. After Lucas had supposedly comforted me that evening when he saved me from drowning myself, I hadn't seen him since. He just got this guy Jay or whatever his name is to constantly watched me, he couldn't be much older than me in anyway and whenever I asked him for Lucas the answer I got was he was busy or working. I think he was just avoiding me though.
I was sick to the bone now, I know I had lost a considerably amount of weight since I haven't really been eating in weeks now and I've been passing out whatever little I taste and throwing up a lot. Hence, the bucket they gave me so I wouldn't have to be pulled from my handcuffs that regularly. I didn't know why this Lucas guy didn't just let me die or better yet killed me himself. If he was going to try and get me clean the least he could've done was to try see if there was an easier way to go about this, like I don't know drop me into a rehabilitation center or get me something else to deal with my cravings and withdrawals.
I was feeling so much worst I don't know if I was ever going to make it out clean alive. My head feels like it was going to fall off and I'm pretty sure I was starting to hear voices in my head. My heart was constantly racing as if it was going to jump out of my mouth not to mention the nauseous feelings that was hitting me along with the other symptoms. I could feel vomit rising in my stomach so I reached for the bucket as I empty my already empty stomach into it. The bucket was filled with mostly water. As I was finished a bottle of water was passed to me, I looked up at the guy before taking it with my free hand and rinsed out my mouth.
"You alright?" He asked me.
"Why do you care?" I asked in a bitter tone. "Y'all just have me chained up in her like some underprivileged dog anyway, so why would you care!?"
"You being handcuffed to that bed is your fault. If you hadn't tried to kill yourself last week I don't think you'd be confined to the bed. It's for your own good" he replied.
"What the hell do you know what's for my good huh!? If you or Lucas or anything wants what's good for me you'd let me go!" I screamed with contempt.
"I know what it feels like to be having withdrawal symptoms. You feel like you're about to die, you can't function without the drugs and you're mad at the world when you're being denied the chance to go get a hit" Jay replied. "I've been there, trust me. I know its hard but believe me when I say it'll get worst before it gets better are when it does, it'll be totally worth it".
"I-Is that your idea of a pep talk or inspiration or encouragement? It'll get worst before it gets better?" I asked. "If you've been there you'll know how much pain I'm in right now and let me go".
"That wouldn't help. Letting you go would only send you right to a dealer and you'll be right back where you've started" he replied. "You have to focus on getting better, getting clean".
"Getting clean hurts" I cried. "I just wanna die, why don't you just let me die or better yet why not just kill me? Please"
"Why would I kill you?" He asked surprised by my request.
"If you want to help me you'd do it. Help end my suffering" I said to him. "I'm sure you don't want to be sitting here all day and night constantly monitoring a crazy stripper. You probably have much better things to do than subjecting yourself to such menial task that Lucas gave to you. You could be free from this, all you have to do is let me call my mom tell her goodbye and then you do it. Don't you have a gun too or something?"
"See that there is the drugs talking. I don't have a problem with my job now, in fact I think this is much better and easier than anything else he'd asked me to do" he responded. "And being in your position once, I believe I'm perfect for this job".
"Why do I even try!? Y'all just rather to torture me instead. You and your boss are the same, certified assholes! That's what you both are" I screamed at him before laying down on the pillow and turning away from him.
"We've been called worst princess" he chuckled. "Just hang in there a little longer and you'll be fine eventually".
"I'm gonna die" I whimpered to myself as I closed my eyes and decided to ignore him once more.
~|~
I was back at Lollipop Tease with Alfredo telling me I had to give a private session to some guy. The way Alfredo was talking about this guy it was as if he was the President of the world or something.
"Alfredo you know I never agreed to give private sessions, I never signed up for any of this" I tried reasoning with him. "Dancing on a stage half naked in front of discussing men is degrading enough I can't stoop lower to private sessions. You know what these guys want in a private session".
"So you give him whatever it is that he wants. I could care less. Now get out of my sight" he dismissed me.
"Alfredo please..." I tried to begged but I was Alfredo being dragged from the room.
"No! Please don't !"
I was thrown in a dark room and landed on the floor on my knees as the door was closed behind me. Inside the room there was an intense eerie feeling and as I slowly got to my feet the darkness in the room started fading and I could make out a guy sitting in the chair in the room. Without my consent or control I felt my legs walking towards the guy. Just as I had reached in front of him I noticed he had a scary aura about him and in his hand was a gun. As I looked back at his face I noticed how serious he looked and suddenly his face was all familiar once again.
"Lucas?" I gasped wide eyed.
"I told you if you ran your mouth to anyone I'd find you and kill you" he said getting up slowly.
"I-I swear, I didn't s-say anything to anyone. Please..." I begged taking steps back from him.
"I warned you Amy" he said rising the gun to the center of my forehead.
"Noooo!!" I screamed as he pulled the trigger.
**
There was a sharp pain in my arm and my eyes flew opened as I screamed. I was breathing hard and in a panic as I looked around trying to figure where the hell I was and what happened. I was so disorientated I only knew that there were hands trying to hold me down.
"No! No let me go! No!" I continued screaming and thrashing around.
"Ms.Stewart please calm down your in the hospital" I heard some female saying.
I continued screaming and trying to escaped as I tried to figure out what the hell was going on. Who were these people holding me down and why the hell was I in a hospital.
"We're going to have to sedate her" I heard a man said and seconds later I was stabbed in the side of the neck.
I tried to continue fighting but as I felt something rushing through my body I suddenly felt a urge to calm down and involuntarily I stopped fighting and allowed this calmness to take over.
"Amy? Amy can you hear me?" I heard the male voice asked again.
I slowly turned my head to the side in the direction of the voice. I noticed a older man in white coat standing there alongside a woman in blue scrubs.
"W-who are you?" I managed to croak out despite my dry and scratchy throat.
The woman noticed this and quickly passed me a glass of water from the bedside table. After I had finished drinking I gave her an appreciative smile.
"I'm doctor Ankell" the man replied before turning to the woman. "Thank you Nurse Moresby you can go now, I've got it from here".
"Okay Doctor" the woman nodded as she headed for the door.
"How are you feeling now?" Doctor Ankell asked me.
"Weird, I don't know. Drained, weak, tired, confused..." I replied. "My head feels strange and... Why am I here?"
"You don't remember anything?" He asked me.
"I don't... I'm not sure. I remembered being handcuffed to the bed and I was talking to Ja...I stopped before saying the rest of the name when I remembered I was talking to a stranger.
"It's alright you can talk, I'm Lucas's personal doctor. I know a lot" he said to me.
"Lucas?" I asked in shock. I hadn't remembered him. "Where is he? Who brought me here? What happened?"
"You passed out and was unresponsive for hours. Jay and Lucas brought you here" he replied. "You were mumbling in your unconscious state and we couldn't get you to wake up. You almost died".
"What do you mean?" I asked confused.
"You going through withdrawal symptoms and throwing up yet not getting any substance in your stomach was causing major issues within your body and also resulted in a low blood count" he responded. "You were lucky they decided to bring you in when they did and we could flush out the remaining drugs out your system and get you on drip".
"So does that mean I'm okay now?" I asked.
I was praying to God that I was since I wasn't exactly feeling as bad as before when undergoing withdrawal symptoms. I felt a whole lot better even though I was feeling a bit dizzy and weak right now.
"Well we've detox your body so most of the drugs in your system seem to be out. However, you may still have a few withdrawal symptoms from time to time, though less intense than before and also a bit of craving" he responded. "You're just going to have to eat properly and exercise in order to get back your full health. I'm not going to tell you that you'll be better immediately but you should be fine in a couple of months if you stay clean. I don't have any doubt that Lucas will make sure of it though".
"What do you mean Lucas will make sure of it?" I asked him.
"You're staying with him aren't you?" He asked. "He's coming back to get you now that you're okay again".
"What!?" I asked in a panic. "No, no, no. I can't go back with him. You can't let me go back with him".
"And why is that?" Doctor Ankell asked me.
"Because I don't know how him. I was kidnapped by him and held against my will. He's dangerous, I can't go with him" I tried telling him frantically.
"But he's the one who brought you here so I presumed you know each other and why would you say he's dangerous?"
"Because he is. I was kidnapped! You can't let me go back with a kidnapper! Who knows what will happened to me after" I said in a panic as I jumped off the bed and staggering a bit.
"Amy calm down" he said as he helped to steady me.
"Thank you for your help and everything but I have to go now" I said as I headed in the direction of the door only to have have held me back.
"Sorry princess but I can't allow that"