Bloody Hell! (Dramione FanFic...

By Dramione_97

266K 5.7K 6.7K

Hermione snogging a book? Draco flexing his muscles in the mirror while singing 'Sexy and I Know It'? AND SEV... More

Chapter 1: The Beaver and the Ferret
Chapter 2: Nananananananananananananananana BATMAN - I mean SNAPEMAN!!!!
Chapter 3: Wanna get high?????
Chapter 4: Snape's Hot 4 Hermione ;)
Chapter 5: A Shaving and a Birthday
Chapter 6: I'm sexy and I know it!
Authors Note :):) -Hey My Peeps :):)
Authors Note ;) You Know You Wanna Read Me....
Chapter 7 part 2: Optical Illusions and Face-plants (Final chapter)
Authors Note: I'M BACK BABY!!!!! ;)
Random Chapter 1: THE ULTIMATE DARE-A-THON!!!
Random Chapter 2: The Adventures of Snapeman
Random Chapter 3: Ahhhhh...Unagi! (F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Parody)
Random Chapter 4 part 1: RAINBOWS, FRUIT ASSASSINS, CHOCOLATE AND HARRY!!!! ;)
Random Chapter 4 part 2: GLITTERING MUSHROOMS, SNAPEVADERS & HARRY

Chapter 7 part 1: Señor Dunngo Le Bunngo and Hair Full of Embers

15.9K 371 313
By Dramione_97

 ------------------------------------> Who likes my drawing of Señor Dunngo Le Bunngo???? I drew it myself :):):)

Chapter 7 part 1: Señor Dunngo Le Bunngo and Hair Full of Embers  

I am sooooooooo sorry for not updating lately. Thanks for your patience. Anyways, I have split the final chapter in two parts (LOL! Just like HP and the Deathly Hallows). I hope you enjoy this chapter coz it got some Dramione action happenin’….. Okeydokey onto the story

“Dude what happened to your face?” said Blaise Zabini as Draco sat down at the Slytherin table for lunch. Draco narrowed his eyes at Blaise Zabini. “I fell down the staircases. You were right next to me when I said that to McGonagall in transfiguration.”

“No bro, I meant the REAL reason.” Blaise pushed on.

“That IS the real reason why my face is bashed up and my leg,” Draco said convincingly. Blaise waited a couple of minutes to think until he responded back to Draco. “So why did Granger beat you up?” Blaise smirked. Draco’s eyes widened “She didn’t beat me up... yeah fine she did because I saw her in her underwear.”

“WOAH dude! If I was a girl and you caught me in my underwear, I would have Avada Kedavra your ass right then and there. So ... what did she look like?” Blaise grinned. Draco looked over to Hermione at the Gryffindor table.

“Beautiful,” Draco mumbled.

“What?”

“What? Oh um she’s…alright, you know for a frizzy haired beaver,” Draco said, his cheeks slightly pink. I heard what he said…man, he’s got it hard for her Blaise chuckled and went back to his lunch.

Draco’s POV;

Phew!! I almost got caught there by Blaise when I called Granger beautiful. I can’t get her out of my head! GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!! Alright calm down, Draco. Think of something not sexy. Snape in a two-piece bikini, aha that’s it… nope definitely no it. Why? Because I think I’m going to throw up my lunch! Ewwww Snape’s excess fat and saggy man boobs. Okay I think I am definitely going to throw up. I’m going to the head dorms and lie down before classes start.

Normal POV;

“DRAKEYYYYYY,” whined Pansy Parkinson, also known as the Whore of Hogwarts (by the rest of the houses). “Why haven’t you talked to me in a while, Drakeyyyyyy?” she pouted when she snaked her arm around. Draco scrunched up his nose in disgust “See that’s the funny thing about it; I don’t want to talk to you,” he said as pushed her arm off his and got up to head off to the Head dorms. Hermione saw Draco leave the Great Hall in a hurry and followed.  

Outside the Head’s portrait, Hermione mumbled the password. “Gryffindor sucks,” she said. Trust Malfoy to come up with a password like that Hermione rolled her eyes Wait until I get to choose the password next week; Draco is Snape’s love interest. The portrait obeyed and opened. There stood Draco banging his head against the cold stone wall.

Hermione looked confused and slightly concerned.  “Err…Malfoy are you okay?”

Malfoy stopped banging his head on the wall, but did not look up at Hermione. “No,” he replied simply.

“What’s wrong?” she said, slowly walking up to him. He still didn’t respond. Hermione was irritated by now. “Malfoy, tell me what’s wrong before I hex you into oblivion,” she threatened. Malfoy spun around to face Hermione. “Do you wanna know what’s wrong? I’ll tell you what’s wrong; you! You are a fucking know-it-all, frizz head Muggleborn!” he roared at Hermione. She looked quite frightened at start until she regained her confidence and snapped back at him. “What the bloody hell did I do?!”

“Every time I see you I want to - I want to do…” he paused.

“DO WHAT?!” she growled at him.

“This,” Draco said as he walked up to Hermione and took her face in his hands and kissed her hard on the lips. Hermione was dumbfounded for a second until she started kissing him back, their lips moving in synchronisation together. Hermione deepened the kiss by snaking her arms around his neck and bringing him closer to her body. This kiss was different than the first kiss that they shared; it was passionate and full of lust. But there was something else that it had extra than the first kiss… it was love. They pulled back breathlessly and looked deep into each other’s eyes, a small smile upon their lips.

“That is what I wanted to do.” Draco said, answering the question that Hermione asked him before their ‘snog session’. They were silent for a couple of moments, still looking in each other’s eyes, until Hermione broke the silence. “Malfoy, where does this leave us?” she asked. Draco grinned widely “Hopefully in the sack,” he said as he wiggled his eyebrows.

“DRACO!” She said as she playfully slapped him across the chest.

“Okay just kidding- wait, you just called me Draco for the first time,” a smirk appeared on his lips. Hermione blushed and rolled her eyes “Well, um, we did kiss a couple of minutes ago and I think we should be on a first name basis.”

“Okay Hermione, I got a question to ask you. Will go out on a date with me?” asked Draco while looking at the ground. Hermione looked at him and put her small hand under his chin and lifted his head up. She gave him a smile and said “I would love to go out with you.”

His eyes were glistening with happiness. He hugged her and said “You know, opposites attract right?” he whispered in her ear that sent shivers down her spine. He then thought it funny to pinch her side. “OW!” she yelped. He grinned mischievously “Cya toots,” he said, running away. “Oh, no you don’t! Come back here!” Hermione screamed before running after him, smiling.

Four Weeks Later;

“Hey Harry, do you still send out those secret admirer notes and flowers to Draco?” Hermione asked as they were eating breakfast in the Great Hall. Harry wasn’t paying attention to Hermione; he was too fascinated in his Chocolate Frog. “Now before we get married, you have to meet every single one of my friends, including my imaginary friend, Señor Dunngo Le Bunngo. He’s a miniature kangaroo and he has a moustache and a sombrero. By the way, we have to put a freezing charm on you before the wedding and-”

“HARRY!” She screamed in his ear. Harry flinched and rubbed his ear. “Owie! What do you want Mione?”

Hermione said “Do you still send out those secret admirer notes to Draco?” Harry nodded. “Well can you stop them please because Draco and I are together now?”

Harry looked at Hermione and yelled “NEVERRRRRRR, YOU NINCOMPOOP!!!!” with that he gathered up his Chocolate Frog fiancé and ran out of the Great Hall. What a bloody nutter! I think Harry has eaten a bit too many of his fiancés’ in a week Hermione thought.

Charms class was about to start in 15 minutes and Draco thought it be wise to go early because Hermione is always there before class starts. Draco walked through the 3rd floor corridor where he stopped abruptly by a noise. He moved closer to where the noise was coming from. The noise was coming from a broom closet a few step away from him.

“Oh I love you Ronnie,” said a voice inside the closet. Draco thought that voice was really familiar.

“I love you too, Dracoina,” said Ron. Draco stood angrily on the other side of the broom closet door. Draco drew his wand from his robe and said “Reducto!” The door crumbled but Draco didn’t care if the blast hurt someone he just wanted to get that Weasel of his sister.

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!?!” Dracoina coughed as the smoke from the blast went into her lungs. Draco didn’t listen to her, instead he dragged Ron out of the closet and started beating him up.

“Next time get your filthy hands off my sister!” Draco roared. He got up of Ron and walked towards Dracoina who was now looking furious. “Why the hell did you do that? We were only doing harmless snogging!” she roared at her twin brother, and then walked towards Ron to help him up. Draco walked over to Dracoina, picked her up and put her over his shoulder.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?! PUT ME DOWN THIS INSATANT!!” Dracoina screamed at Draco. Draco continued to ignore her as he carried her to the Gryffindor Common Room. “Say the password.” said Draco as he approached the portrait of the Fat Lady. “Caput Draconis,” she whispered to the Fat Lady. Draco went into the deserted common room; luckily all the students have gone down to breakfast. He put Dracoina down on the red couch. “That’s it. You are going back to Beauxbatons tomorrow morning.” He said.

Dracoina snapped. “What do you mean go back to Beauxbatons?!?! I just got here!!”

“Well I am you’re older brother,” Dracoina snorted “Only by 2 minutes.” Draco continued “And I say you are going to Beauxbatons, damnit! Dad is in Azkaban and mum is on the run, so that leaves me in charge of you. So I have come to the decision that you will go back to Beauxbatons and I will come with.”

“Why do you have to come?” Dracoina asked. Draco shrugged “To keep those sleazy guys in Beauxbatons off you.” (A/N: in the Harry Potter books, it states that there are some guys in Beauxbatons)

Head Dorms later that night;

Hermione was in the common room doing her Muggle Studies homework, when suddenly Draco barged into the room. “Mione, I have to talk to you.” Draco said seriously. Hermione looked up from her work, her eyes swimming with confusion and concern. “What’s wrong Draco?” She groaned “Did Harry slap you across the face and put bows in your hair again?”

“No Mione, listen I-”

“Oh then did he buy you more adult diapers again?” She asked again. Draco looked very irritated and angry because Harry had sent him adult diapers a couple of days ago.

“No he didn’t! Listen Mione-” He said through clenched teeth until Hermione interrupted him again.

“Then did he shove a pencil up your-”

 “MIONE!! LISTEN TO ME!” Draco screamed. Hermione slouched down in her chair as she waited for Draco to continue. Draco sighed sadly “Okay listen Mione; I have to go to Beauxbatons tomorrow morning with Dracoina…and I might not come back.”

Hermione blinked away the tears that were forming in her eyes. “But why are you leaving? We just got together and now you’re going to Beauxbatons with Dracoina,” she said as her tears began to fall. Draco bent down and wiped away the tears that fell then cupped her face within his hands. “Mione don’t cry. I’ll promise I’ll write every day and I’ll visit in the holidays when you’re not with Potthead or Weaslebee,” Draco said. Hermione stopped crying and looked up at Draco. “You promise,” she said sniffling like she was a toddler. She’s looks so adorable right now Draco smiled. “I promise darling.”  She smiled back at him and they both leaned in for a kiss until they heard something coming from the fireplace.

“Oooooooohhhhhhh, Diaper King and Frizzhead sitting on the couch, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love and then comes marriage, then comes Mione with the baby carriage,” Harry sang within the fireplace.  Hermione and Draco began glaring at him as Harry started making kissy noises. Hermione grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it into the fireplace, hitting Harry’s head hard.

“Owie! ARGHHHH I GOT SOME OF THE EMBERS IN MY HAIR! GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!!!” Harry screamed as he went back into the Gryffindor common room ruffling his hair. Hermione laughed at her idiot of a friend. “Now… where were we?” she smiled seductively and in return Draco wiggled his eyebrows. “I don’t know somewhere along the lines of this,” he said as he captured her lips with his. I am sooooo going to miss this when he goes away Hermione thought.  

Ok guys so that was part one of the final chapter. I wanted to say thanks to all my fans and to everyone who is reading this story. I’ll try to update soon :- ) Cya till next time – Dramione_97 xoxoxo

P.S. Señor Dunngo Le Bunngo is MY imaginary friend :) 

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