Title: Wild Ride Wilson
Paring: Wade Wilson (Deadpool) X Male!Reader
Spoilers: none!
Warnings: just fluff. Based around a break up.
Dedicated to/requested by: - who has been a reader of my works for a while now, and a requester too, and who I always find a pleasure to write for.
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While it might be said by his fellow teammates that Thor of Asgard had a flair for the dramatics, the God surely did know that mood weather helped with breakups. When Nat broke it off with Banner to pursue her career, there had been hail for three days. And when Clint was in the doghouse for a week for knocking down the wrong room in his own house and needed a couch to crash on, he made sure of there being enough thunder for Clint to rethink his actions.
But for you, there was just simply rain.
The Asgardian approached you the day after it happened, and silently sliding a cup of coffee across the bench, he whispered, "Whatever the weather you choose for this sombre occasion, I will perform it for you."
To be honest, you really wanted him to send a rain cloud to follow your ex. Indoors, outdoors, even in their car with the sunroof and the lake house where you'd spent the better half of your life making memories. He had been the one, you were sure, but...he wasn't. He was just one. Just a freaking human who took up all of your thoughts and dreams and was harder to shake off than a toddler holding tight to the ankles.
Yet, unlike the other mood weather forecasts, your request didn't let up. For two weeks, there was your mourning period. Ice cream tubs and Netflix reruns, staring at your phone on the side of your bed like it would maybe spontaneously ring with his tone. Walking around the Avengers facility like a ghost haunting its place of death. If you were a hero with a streak of vengeance, you'd march straight up to his apartment and knock on the door and demand for your classic Game Boy and that t-shirt he'd never given back. What would inspire such douchery from anyone? Maybe you'd hire someone to go and pick them up.
Nah.
You weren't that petty.
So, they stayed at his place, and the rain fell on. It got so wet, that even after Thor took his power from controlling it, it stayed. You wondered if this was what upstate Washington felt like, or the weather that compelled the vampires in that book to live in Forks. But mostly, you wondered how you were going to move on.
There was a knock on your door. It was a rainy Wednesday, and unlike the rest of the Avengers and waiting for you to respond, and then desist, this knocker kept at it.
"I heard your ex dumped your lil' cute ass," a familiar voice called out. "Want to let me in and give you a back rub or something?"
From under your duvet, you frown, and after a beat, you call out, "Piss off, Wade. I want to be alone."
There was a grunt. "Well, I really need a back rub, and I was kind of counting for us to take turns, because Wolverine popped something out of place in my back after a not-well taken card game at Wheels' place..." he lamented.
Your finger finds the button for the door on the side of the night stand from the depths of the duvets. "Fine, 'pool, but you better not bleed over me and not clean it up."
"That was one time, ______, and you know that," you hear his footsteps enter your room, and a sharp breath. "__________! You look like mashed potatoes! This must be one of those really bad breakups where you transform into tasteless food and shrivel up and die!"
You turn down the top of the duvet to see Wade, dressed in stone-washed jeans and a black turtleneck, and pink balaclava. "What drugs are you on? I'm here, asshole." you sniff, rubbing your eyes a darker shade of I've Been Crying red. "You're not making my breakup any better - when's your magic going to come in and magically fix my mood and future prospects in love?" you snark.
Wade eyes you through the ski mask. "Nice sarcasm, but it won't help unwind you from the back-rub you're going to get. Come on, sit up. I'm going to remind you of the reason you were born."
Groaning, you comply. "That I was meant to be dumped by the hottest man of all time?"
Wade grunts. "No! You were meant to be rubbed on the back by moi." He leans down, seating him behind you. You feel his hands massage your shoulders, and within seconds, you feel the knots your stress had created under your skin become loose. "See? It's already helping you to become the cute guy I've always seen you are."
You feel your cheeks blush. "Wade...you always call me cute and stuff, but right now...it -,"
His fingers still. "Oh crap, how could I forget - I know. Super too soon after the breakup. And it isn't like you'd even like to go out with a guy like me, I'm just the friend of a friend whose job is closer to the Punishers' than yours and I'm like, not even that great at it, anyway." he prattles. "I should probably stop talking, it's making you nervous, isn't it? Maybe you should massage my back now."
You smirk, nodding. "You're a wild ride, Wilson," you compliment. "I'm just heartbroken, not any of that you just said. And you're great at your job."
Wade perks up. "So you'd consider dating me?"
You nod. "Sure, Wade. We'll date." As soon as you place your hands onto his turtleneck to start the massage, you recoil. "Wade, you're soaking wet and - it's all over my bed! What, did you walk here?"
He nods. "My umbrella was stolen last week from some kid in a red and blue suit." He narrows his eyes, and whispers. "Spider Parker..."
You sigh. "I needed to change these sheets anyway...don't worry, I'm not mad. I'll have a word to Thor to try and let up the rain, though, it's probably pissing off the civilians around here." you lay your hands back to Wade's back, and begin the strangest massage you had ever given in your entire life, maybe ever. "Ooh, can I ask you a favour? It involves a Game Boy..."