Chapter 34.
"So when are you coming back?" Katie asked. I shrugged even though I knew she couldn't see me.
I decided to phone Mali and Katie just to tell them that I hadn't been kidnapped or anything but was with Xavier in hospital. They genuinely sounded worried for him.
But lessons had started again and I hadn't turned up to one so far. There was only one more year until I graduated college and was left to the big wide world.
"Today, hopefully." Xavier was much better and the doctors said Xavier was well enough to make his way home. I was grateful, I couldn't wait to take him home and to look after him there.
"That's great. Text me when you're back." Katie replied. "I was worried about you."
"Thanks Kate. I missed you."
"I missed you too." She said. "Just make your way back and we'll go out one night this week."
"Sounds great." We disconnected the call.
I made my way back to Xavier. He was lying on his bed with a smile on his face. I don't remember him ever being this happy.
"Hey, Angel." He spoke. I smiled his way.
"Hey."
"How are they?" I nodded my head.
"They're good, just missing me." I replied. Xavier pouted.
"I missed you too." He looked like a little boy and I smiled again his way. I rolled my eyes. "Don't roll your eyes at me, Angel, I did miss you."
"You're cute." I sat down on the chair next to him and he scoffed my way.
"Cute?" He questioned. "I'm Xavier, cute isn't one of my descriptions."
"It is now." I stated. I laughed at the childish face he pulled before remembering I had to get everything ready. I wanted him home tonight and I knew he wanted to go home too. He was getting restless here.
As I picked up his jacket I relished in the feeling of being engaged. It felt weird to say, and I knew many people would be against it. We were old enough to make the decision ourselves though, and when you know you know.
Who gave a fuck what people thought? Xavier never gave a fuck about anything so why should I do the worrying?
I was extremely happy. Happier than I'd ever been before.
"What are you smiling about?" I heard Xavier's voice from his bed. I turned around to see him cutely wrapped under the blanket with his eyes trained on me.
"You look all snug, it's really cute, pardon the word." I put my arms up in mock surrender. Xavier chuckled.
I got back to sorting everything out for Xavier. All his items and clothes were packed neatly in my bag.
I went to speak to the nurses to see for definite if Xavier could be let out of here. They thankfully said he was fit to leave.
Xavier couldn't wait to leave this place. He wanted his space and his own room. He didn't like all the fuss the nurses gave him. He was starting to get grouchy.
The amount of times I had to apologise to one of the nurses because he had said something a little rude. But I couldn't blame him. He'd been couped up in bed for a few days now and I knew he just wanted to be alone with me.
Xavier was ready and waiting before I had even got to the room. Once I was there I helped him out of his bed and grabbed his belongings.
Soon enough, we were making our way out of the hospital. The taxi I had called earlier was waiting for us already outside. Xavier and I jumped in.
"Em." Xavier whispered. I looked to him and quirked my eyebrows his way.
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry for putting you in danger. I'm sorry for letting you down."
"Don't be so silly." I let out. He didn't put me in danger, I did that myself. Nothing was his fault, I didn't blame him for a thing.
"No, Em, I'm serious. I'm fucking beside myself thinking about it. I couldn't sleep last night."
"Nightmares again?" I asked. He looked to me and he furrowed his brows.
"I don't have them anymore." He clipped before turning his head away from me. I knew differently. He was prone to them, he had them almost every week.
Last night I slept beside him in the hospital bed, we weren't meant to but Xavier always had his way. I heard him, he talked in his sleep.
"Xav, you need to stop worrying about it. What's done is done, you're safe, I'm safe. We're happy."
"No!" He turned around quickly. "We're not fucking safe, she's still out there. Em if something happens to you again-"
"Don't." I whispered. I was trying not to think about it. "Just don't, please." I pleaded. Nothing happened to me, his mother shot him, not me. He didn't need to worry by longer. I was going to make sure she was gone for good.
The bald taxi driver suddenly turned around and asked for his money. He had a deep voice and his beard was scruffy. I gave him his change and Xavier and I got out of the taxi, which smelt like leather and ciggarettes.
"Enough of this worrying now, okay?" I grabbed his hand. "I just want you happy." Xavier sighed.
"I am happy." He grabbed me by the waist with his two large hands. "God, Angel, you know I'm happy with you."
I was content with his answer and I took him back to his room.
As soon as I stepped foot inside it smelt like Xavier, the smell lingering around the room. It was like we had never been away. Even though it had been a while.
It reminded me of the night I accidentally woke up here. So many things had changed since then. I never would have thought this man who had the world on his shoulders would be engaged to me.
Everything was where we left it anyway. His room was surprisingly tidy, it always was. He was extremely organised and that shocked me, he didn't seem like the organised type, not when he wore his converse with the laces all messy. Not when his hair was just as messy as that. Not when his shirt was tucked out of his scruffy holey jeans.
Xavier put down his bag and fell onto the sofa. He laid his head on the back of the seat and sighed. He closed his eyes and the room was full of silence.
I didn't want to disturb him, so I decided to go to his little kitchen and see what was in the freezer. I did text Katie to put few items in his room just so I knew he had the stuff he needed.
Luckily, there was Bolognese in the freezer and spaghetti in the cupboards.
I started to make the dinner, cutting up the vegetables and cooking the spaghetti. I wasn't the brainiest girl alive but I knew how to cook. I was a very practical person, but you put me in an exam room and my brain just sizzled.
Thinking of that, I had to start my lessons for real tomorrow. I needed to graduate. I needed a job and I wanted to get out of here, this place. I've always wanted to travel. I knew that was out of reach but a girl could dream.
"Something smells nice." I heard Xavier from behind me. Suddenly, his hands were around my waist and his nose was in my hair.
"I'm cooking you dinner." I stated smiling from his touch.
"I'm glad I asked you to marry me." Xavier kissed my cheek.
"You think it's the right thing to do don't you?" I turned around in his arms and laid my hands around his waist. I snuggled into him.
"What?" I could hear the worry in his voice when he spoke. I looked up to him, his eyes suddenly becoming dark with something I couldn't describe.
"We're not rushing into things are we?"
"Fuck, Em, no." He laid two hands to his hair and tugged a little. "You don't want to marry me do you?" He asked. I could hear the crack in his voice.
No, he had this all wrong. I just wanted reassurance. I wanted him to tell me everything will be okay. It would, but I wanted him to say it for me to believe it.
I was so nervous about this, it was the way I had been brought up. I did want to marry him, I did more than anything. But I still worried, of course I did.
"Xav-"
"Come here." He croaked. "Turn the fucking stove off."
I did what he told me to do and then turned around to look at him again.
"Get to fucking bed and I'll show you exactly why you need to marry me. I'll show you exactly how much I love you." His voice was raspy and my body shivered with his words. My palms started to sweat. I hadn't had him in so long. I needed this.
"Now?" I just about let out.
"Now." He let out forcefully. Without a second thought I ran to the bedroom. I could hear him walking behind me.
I was so excited it ran through my veins.
"It's been so long." I heard him whisper slightly. "I need this. I need you."
"I need you." I replied. I needed him more than anything.
"Let me show you how much I love you." He came forward. He played with the bottom of my shirt before lifting it above my head. "This is the only way I know how." I breathed.
"Do what you need to do. I've missed this." I said truthfully. I wasn't shy in this department. But I needed Xavier in more ways than one. I needed intimacy, I needed him to show me. I needed to believe it.
Xavier then unbuttoned my jeans slowly before taking them off. He looked to me and gulped as he saw me.
"I'll never tire of seeing you like this. Ever." He punctuated. "I want you like this every morning and ever night."
I stared at him, I drank him in. My body was craving him.
He looked so good. He took his top off and I got a look at his chest. His brown eyes poured into mine. He came closer to me, and closer again until his lips were on mine.
He was gentle. He was never usually so gentle.
"I'm going to take my sweet time with you. Maybe I'm rushing to get you as my wife, but I don't want to wish you away." He touched my skin gently, lovingly. "Em, I got something I didn't even know I wanted, didn't even know I craved. You're here now, and I'm not fucking letting you go, believe me. I'm not everything you've ever wanted, but I'm trying to listen to my heart, something I didn't even know I had until I met you. "
My heart was beating like crazy to his words. I couldn't speak. I had wanted him to like me for so long, at first as a friend and now he loved me. I was in awe of him. He went through so much, yet he still had the capacity in him to love me.
"I'm being so corny but I want you to believe what I'm saying. I want you to believe in us." He took my hair inbetween his fingers.
I looked up to him and took his face into my hands before bringing his lips down to mine. I couldn't speak, but I wanted to show him.
I kissed him with as much love as I could give. No, I wanted him to believe in us.
Time felt as if it had stopped when I was with Xavier. I didn't ever want it to start again.
"I want you to show me that there is a happy ending for a fucked up crowd." His breath was coming out in pants, just like my own. He took my breath away, he really did.
He was so handsome and when he spoke to me the way he did, with such ease, love and sweetness, I wanted to bathe in it forever.
I'll always worry, but I wanted to be happy. I knew what I wanted and I was going to have it one way or another.
"Shut up and take me to bed." I let out before pushing Xavier down onto the bed beside us. I straddled his hips and looked down at him through my lashes.
His eyes were hooded and his hands laid tightly on my hips.
"What do you ever see in me?" I questioned out of curiosity. He looked as if he was from another planet. How could someone be this good looking?
His eyes were scorching, his eyes bright with so many promises. I couldn't wait any longer. Without hearing his reply, I laid my lips to his again and proceeded to take down his jeans. He took in a sharp breath.
I laid back onto his hips, his eyes following me. I could feel him beneath me.
"It's what you see in me, Angel, that makes all the difference." He thrusted his hips once. "I was the fucked up one. You gave me all you could from the beginning."
He possessed me from the beginning. He obsessed me from the beginning. I loved him from the beginning.
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Here's a little filler chapter! I don't think there will be that many chapters left now. But I hope you enjoyed.
Vote and comment your thoughts:)