Ano nga ba ang ibig sabihin ng more than friends? Bestfriends? Lovers? Or was it was just one of Pat's epic jokes?
Miho wanted to ask him to elaborate but no words came out of her mouth. Instead, she half-consciously led out a nervous laugh, a result of confusion and disbelief after she heard her friend squealed in reaction to his words.
"What's funny?" He asked in a serious tone.
"W-wala."
Yung joke mo ang funny, she thought to herself.
She avoided looking at him, but in her peripheral view she saw him staring at her. Napatingin na lang tuloy siya sa post-it notes sa freedom wall ng cafe.
She hoped that Paulo would open up a new topic, kaso wala itong ginawa kung hindi tuksuhin siya ng "Yiee, kaya pala nagpasalamat kasi may something na!". Gusto na lang tuloy niya lalong maglaho sa eksena na parang bula.
Bakit hindi sinabi ni Pat kay Paulo na joke lang ang sinabi nito? Paniwalang-paniwala tuloy ang kaibigan niya. Eh bakit siya, hindi rin niya pinagsigawan na wala silang "something"? Hindi lang pala si Pat ang malabo, pati siya din.
Good thing, Lawrence entered the scene and broke the awkward air. Napayakap siya dito sa tuwa dahil tama ang timing nito at natabunan ang nangyari kanina. Pinakilala agad ito ni Miho kay Pat. Lawrence also voiced out how he was so amazed at his resemblance with Goyong. Bumalik nga lang din ito agad sa pagttrabaho nang bigla nitong napansin na dumami na ang mga customers.
Paulo mentioned that his dad visited the cafe earlier; nag-crave daw kasi ito ng kape at cake. Napakwento na rin si Miho na naabutan nga nila ang ama nito sa labas. Pat said he just pretended to know everything that he was talking about. Alam kasi niya na mas marami pang eksplenasyon na dapat gawin si Miho kapag sinabi niyang hindi siya si Greg Sempio na nakilala nito dati. In the middle of their talk, Paulo reminded them to order whatever they like to eat. Ililibre daw kasi sila nito.
"Any recommendation?" Tanong ni Pat sa kanila habang nakatingin ito sa menu.
"Try mo 'yung Patbingsu namin na may mango and coconut milk!" Paulo suggested as he pointed out the picture in the menu. "'Yan yung isa sa mga pinropose ni Miho dati. Isa sa mga best-sellers! Naging aim kasi namin ang ma-incorporate ang local taste sa mga international desserts. Meron din kaming affogato, tapos Bukidnon coffee beans ang gamit namin."
Pat chose the Mango Patbingsu. Dahil good for two, he suggested that they just share. Wala naman problema kay Miho, she also wanted to have it for dessert. Sa loob nga lang niya, ramdam pa rin niya ang pagkailang sa nangyari kanina pero hindi na lang niya ito pinahalata.
Their order came after a few minutes. It was a huge bowl of milky shaved ice with a generous serving of mangoes, sprinkled with green tea powder on top. Imbis na mochi ang sinama, bilo-bilo ang isa rin sa mga toppings nito.
While eating, Paulo interviewed Pat. The topics were his days in Spain and his life as a language instructor and artist. Nakinig lang si Miho sa usapan ng dalawa. At dahil magaling naman sa pakikipag-socialize ang kaibigan niya, hindi na siya nagulat na base sa mga narinig ay nakasundo nito agad si Pat.
Bago sila umalis pinakilala ni Paulo ang bago nilang empleyado. Maliban pa kay Blue ay meron pa raw isa, ngunit naka-leave daw ngayon. They thanked Paulo for the free dessert and promised to come back next time.
On their way home, Pat was unusually quiet again. Napaisip naman si Miho kung may nagawa na naman siyang mali o sadyang malalim lang ang iniisip nito. She asked his permission to open the car radio. Sobrang tahimik kasi at naisip niyang makinig ng music.
"Sure. Ikaw na bahalang mamili. Or if you want, you can plug your phone," He said.
She chose to play the FM. Bumungad ang "Sa Ibang Mundo" na nasa kalahati na, at hindi na rin niya napigilang sabayan ang kantang alam niya.
Sa ibang mundo siguro sa'kin ka
At tayo'ng pinagtagpo
Sa ibang mundo siguro
Sa'kin galing ang isang pangako
Sa ibang mundo
"Nice voice," He commented in which she thanked him afterwards.
"Kanta ka rin!"
Pat laughed. "Gusto mong umulan?"
"Ayos lang. Para malamig. Dali na!" She told him. Nangulit siya ng nangulit hanggang sa marinig ang pagpayag nito.
"Alright, alright. 'Wag mo ko sisihin 'pag umulan! Blame yourself, okay? Ang kulit mo kasi."
Hindi siya makapaniwalang napapayag niya ito. She was so excited that she focused on Pat and not the song on the radio. Kinanta nito ang huling mga linya ng kanta.
Sa ibang mundo siguro
Sa'kin galing ang isang pangako
Sa ibang mundo
Sa isang sulok ng panahon
Hindi ko na itatago
Hindi na magpapapigil
Sa ibang mundo
"Okay, signal number three na." Tumawa ito na halatang nahiya sa ginawa.
Miho applauded. "Signal number two lang naman!"
They both laughed.
"Joke lang. Maganda naman eh!" She wasn't lying. For her, his voice sounded.. sexy. Siguro nga hindi ito sobrang ganda na ipapanglaban sa mga contests, pero hindi rin naman ito pangit at nasa tono naman.
"You don't need to lie, Emily. I'm not going to kick you out of this car if you tell me the truth."
"Hindi ako nagsisinungaling!" She made a cross sign in her chest before raising her right hand. Natuwa nga siya sa boses nito; she's even planning to play his voice again soon.. She did record his voice as he was singing earlier. Mukhang hindi naman siya napansin nito.
---
Pagkarating sa unit, nag-asikaso muna sila ng work-related na mga bagay. Miho edited her powerpoint presentation and reviewed the lesson for tomorrow. Pat did the same. Parehas silang nagtrabaho sa dining area at nahaluan na rin ng pag-uusap ang pagttrabaho.
"Sorry, ang kulit ni Paulo kanina," She said while highlighting some words on her textbook.
"No problem. I like him. Well, better than Alex. Mas makulit kasi 'yon at parang naka-drugs."
Miho laughed. "Harsh mo kay Zeus."
"Not really," Pat said before he chuckled. "And don't call him Zeus. Hindi talaga bagay."
They took turns in taking a bath. Pagkatapos ay nanuod sila ng TV dahil hindi pa sila parehas na inaantok. They watched this program about paranormal and horror stuff. Sa dulo ng sofa naupo si Miho at may yakap-yakap siyang unan. Takot kasi siya sa mga ganuong klaseng palabas. Pat kept on glancing at her, mukhang alam na nito na natatakot siya.
"Bakit nakasiksik ka diyan?"
"Wala, masarap lang sa feeling. Try mo." She replied, trying her best not to look like she's scared.
"Wait," He frowned and stared at the space beside her. "Who's that guy sitting beside you?"
Napasigaw siya at nagtago sa likod ng unan. This is the reason why she hates watching shows like this. Alam na nga niya na may nananakot lang, pero apektado pa rin siya.
Nilapitan siya ni Pat at tinapik ang tuhod.
"So you really believe in ghosts?"
Binato niya ang unan dito at sinamaan ng tingin.
"Kaya nga ko natakot eh!"
"I'm sorry." He returned the pillow to her. "I believe in ghosts, too. Wala pa kong nakikita pero si James marami."
Dati bukas daw kasi ang third-eye ni James pero dahil parati itong nakakakita ng multo, pinasara na muna niya ito. Biro nito, baka habang nag-ta-tattoo siya sa kliyente ay bigla siyang magulat sa makita at ma-disgrasya ang ginagawa niya. Miho would never want to have her third eye open. She's too afraid, but then, if she will be able to see and talk to spirits.. May pagkakataon na kaya siyang makausap si Goyong? The absurd thought just came across her mind.
Buti na lang pagkatapos ng ghost encounter portion ng show, past life regression na ang topic kaya hindi na nakakatakot para kay Miho. She watched attentively as the topic piqued her interest. The practitioner's technique was hypnosis. Paggising ng kliyente, kinwento nito ang lahat ng nakita. Ayon dito para daw itong nanuod ng sine nang makita ang sarili bilang isang tao na namuhay sa panahon ng Philippine-Japanese war sa bansa.
Napaisip tuloy si Miho sa dating nangyari sa kanya. Did she unconsciously underwent self-regression? Imposible. Wala naman siyang alam sa ganuon. And what happened to her was not like watching a scene from a movie. Everything that happened were so vivid and real; her scars were an evidence that it was just not regression.
"Do you want to try that?" He pointed at the TV, obviously referring to the regression activity.
She gave a little nod. Somehow, she's curious on what scenes she would see in her past life.
"Ikaw ba?" Tanong niya.
Pat shook his head.
"May kilala si James na marunong sa ganyan. Niyaya niya 'ko dati. I never tried and I'm not really interested to try."
"Bakit naman?"
Nanghinayang siya nang marinig ang sinabi nito. Kung siya siguro ang niyaya ay sumama na siya.
"They always say that the past affects the present. Gusto ng mga taong maintindihan ang koneksyon ng dati nilang buhay sa ngayon. But what if you saw your past and then you woke up feeling discontented with the present? Paano kung naging emotionally attached ka na sa kung sino ka at sa mga tao sa paligid mo sa past? Somehow, it would bother you as you live and breathe in the present, right?"
He stared intently into her eyes as he tried to prove his point.
"Siguro nga, pero depende rin siguro sa tao," she said as she continued to think of his words. "Naniniwala ka talaga na may reincarnation?"
"Yes, I do," He toyed with the remote control on his hand as he glanced at her. "Souls must be reincarnated. Masikip na kasi sa langit at mas masikip pa sa impyerno."
Miho thought about this for awhile. She waited for him to say that he's joking but he didn't say anything after that. After the show, they decided to sleep. Napansin kasi ni Pat na humihikab na siya kaya nagyaya na ito.
Dumiretso siya sa kama at humiga na yakap-yakap ang unan. After Pat closed the pull lights, she heard the bed creaked. Naramdaman din niyang gumalaw ang kama.
"Pat?"
"Hm?"
"A-anong ginagawa mo dyan?"
Her voice sounded alarmed. Maliwanag ang ilaw na galing sa buwan, kaya pagharap niya dito, kitang kita niya ang pagngisi nito sa kanya.
"Matutulog," He casually replied. "Kagabi naman walang nangyari 'di ba? So just let me sleep beside you. Wala naman akong gagawin na masama."
Oo nga naman. Nothing happened. Anlayo pa nga nitong natulog sa kanya. Hindi naman siya dapat umastang angganda-ganda niya para pag-interesan nito sa ibang bagay. Miho kept her silence until she remembered something.
"Oo nga pala, hindi na siguro mag-s-surprise visit si Ma. Uuwi na rin sila sa Linggo. Bukas naman wala na sila ni Tristan sa Manila.." She said as she stared at the wall.
"Are you really that excited to go home?"
Natahimik siya sa narinig. Excited nga ba siya? Well, she misses her own bed, her own private space but...
"Hindi naman, pero tataas na yung bayarin sa tubig at kuryente mo dahil sa'kin. Pati shampoo mo mauubos ko na ata, pati yung hypoallergenic mong sabon! Dapat pala kasi bumili ako."
"If that's what you want. Hahatid na lang kita."
Napansin niya ang malamig na boses nito. Why does he sound.. a little disappointed? Gusto pa ba nito ang presensya niya? Bigla siyang nakaramdam ng lungkot. The truth is, she felt that she wanted to stay here with him. Pero para saan? Wala na siyang dahilan. In the first place, they were only doing this for her mom. Wala ng iba.
Humarap siya sa bintana para iwasan itong tignan.
"Gagawan kita ng maraming adobo bukas kung gusto mo, o kahit anong ulam," She said as she embraced her pillow tightly.
Meron na ata siyang separation anxiety na hindi niya dapat maramdaman. Gusto niyang sapakin ang sarili para magising sa kadramahan na ito.
"Para sa mga susunod na araw may pwede kang—"
Natigil siya nang maramdaman niya ang braso nitong yumakap sa kanya. She could feel the warmth of his body from behind and the pressure of his lips on her hair. Parang gusto na namang sumabog ang puso niya.
Humigpit ang hawak nito sa kanya na pakiramdam niyang hindi na siya makakaalis mula dito. Kung gaano niya kahigpit na niyayakap ang unan ay ganuon rin ito sa kanya. She wanted to hug him back. Hindi nga lang niya alam kung paano sasabihin. Hinawakan na lang tuloy niya ang braso nito, at tila ba isa itong hudyat, bumitiw ito sa kanya.
She turned around to face him and her eyes met his. Dahan-dahan na parang may pag-aalinlangan siyang yumakap dito. Pat smiled at her, obviously pleased by her action. He held her cheek and gave her a gentle kiss on her nose. That's when she remembered it again..
More than friends.
Napatitig lang siya kay Pat at bigla itong natawa. Napasimangot tuloy siya dahil hindi niya naintindihan kung ano ang nakakatawa.
"Bakit?" She asked him.
Inalis niya ang pagkakayakap dito dahil nakaramdam siya bigla ng hiya. Hinawakan naman nito agad ang braso niya at ibinalik sa pwesto nito kanina.
"Wala. Are you thinking of what I said earlier?"
Gusto na niyang magtago sa ilalim ng kama. Halata ba sa mukha niya ang pag-iisip tungkol dito? O sadyang marunong lang talaga itong magbasa ng nasa isip niya?
"Hindi ah."
She tried to stare again into his eyes, para naman hindi halata na nagsisinungaling siya.
Pat kissed her again, but this time, on her lips. Her mind protested but her body readily accepted it. Mabilis lang iyon na parang halik na ginagawa ng mga inosenteng bata; definitely not like their first kiss inside the car. But despite of its weak intensity as compared to the first one, she still couldn't ignore its effect on her. Ayun na naman ang puso niya, hindi na naman pinapakinggan ang pakiusap niya dito na huminahon.
"So I suppose, we already have this sort of, umm, mutual understanding with regards to this relationship?"
"Mutual?" Her eyes widened, again, in confusion. "Sa totoo lang.. Hindi ko talaga gets. Malabo," She admitted.
"Okay, I'll explain further, but this will be the last one for tonight."
Nilapit na naman nito ang mukha sa kanya kaya kinabahan na naman siya. Miho covered her face with the palm of her hands. Tinanggal nga lang ito ni Pat kaya napilitan uli siyang tumingin dito.
He claimed her lips once again, in an intensity which gave her a more vivid explanation of what he really meant by the term 'more than friends'.