Twenty One
TIME; it could not be controlled or changed, but one thing was absolutely certain: it always passed. No matter its pace, whether slowly or quickly, it passed. And as it did so, I kept up with the days on a calendar I had made, reminding myself even if I lost track of time, it would not stand still. Winter became spring as it dawned March.
Ahmose only grew more distant. He would close his door to me at night, and during the days, he would avert my gaze if we passed each other in the halls. He no longer stepped in to check on me as he so often did, and he refused to see me if I asked. He hadn't spoken to me in weeks. Thutmosis had destroyed my life, leaving me with crumbled pieces as I tried to put back together what now lay in ruins. With a swipe of his hand, he had taken my best friend from me, the man who had become the single most important person in my life.
I could no longer live with this silence. I was trapped in a standstill, frozen though the world around me continued to move. But I wanted to move with it; I wanted to move on with my life. And move on I would, even if I had to tear through the gauze that grief had wrapped me in. I knew what I had to do.
I wandered the halls until I came to Ahmose's study, a room surrounded by columns in a secluded corner of the palace. He was seated behind a great cedar desk, his head bowed as he scribbled furiously onto a scroll. "Pharaoh?" I called softly from the columns. I no longer felt privileged to speak his name. For a moment, his eyes snatched from the parchment to meet mine and slanted as he scowled at me before returning to his work. "May I speak with you?" My voice was a pathetic whimper.
"Go away," he replied quickly. I lingered by the column, wondering what to do. I wanted to do as he asked and leave him alone, but how would our friendship ever be mended if he never spoke to me again? He looked up again, and realizing I was still there, he sighed. "It is unbearable for me to cast my eyes upon you. I cannot stand to even hear your voice. Please, just go away."
The cruelty of his words should have pierced me like a dagger, but Menefer's passing had numbed me and I was incapable of feeling anything but a raw, reverberating tremor. I approached the desk anyway.
He kept his head down and made no move to stop me, so I drew in a breath to gather my courage.
"You are so angry with me, and I don't understand why. Where is the man of integrity who saved me from the streets?"
"Integrity?" he retorted. His eyes flared as he grew very angry. "How dare you question my integrity?" He slammed his fist onto the desk so forcefully, it rattled. I winced.
He must have sensed my apprehension. His anger diminished, and his eyes suddenly became very dismal. His fist relaxed, and he ran his elegant hand over his face, drawing in a deep breath. He was a miserable heap, his shoulders sunken, and his face hidden from me behind his palm. I reached out and brushed my fingers along the veins of stress that had etched their way across his hand. For the first time in weeks, he did not retreat from my touch.
"Ahmose," I whispered. Why had he chosen to shut me out? Seeing him in so much pain hurt me more than the cruel words he had shouted at me just moments before. "I did not come to upset you. In fact, I came to bring you news of which I'm sure will lighten your countenance."
He glanced up at me, his eyes distant and unfamiliar.
"I ask your permission to depart from the palace."
His hand left his face and he straightened himself in his chair, falling into a grave quietness. "You...want to leave?" He echoed my meaning, trying to make sense of the words.
"Yes, I want to leave. Menefer is gone...and you hate me," the words left a sour taste on my tongue. His eyes shot to mine, though it appeared as if my words had stung him, he did not deny it. I continued before his silence could crush me, "I have no reason to stay here any longer. As you and I both have known for a long time now, I do not belong here."
"Where will you go?" he asked quietly, shifting his gaze to the western wall.
"I am unsure," I answered. "Perhaps if I retrace my steps, I will be able to find my way home."
"Back to the twenty-first century?" he asked sharply. He fully understood now what I meant by departing. I didn't want to just leave the palace. I wanted to leave this world.
"Hopefully," I replied, wondering if I would ever be able to find my way home. "I want to thank you for your hospitality. You have been so generous to me. I can never repay you for all you have done for me."
I had overstayed my welcome long ago. I could sense he wanted me to leave, but he would never order me away because he was a good man trying to honor his word.
"You have an interesting way of showing your gratitude," he snapped, despite my tears. I bit my lip to suppress the sobs that tore through me.
I started to leave, but hesitated by one of the pillars. When I turned back to him, I had expected to see him return to work, but instead he sat quietly, watching me retreat to the tall shadows.
"Pharaoh," I whispered, gazing at him over my shoulder. He watched me with a grave expression. I will miss you, I wanted to say, but instead I shook my head and replied, "Nothing."
Though physically I was fine, I was in so much agony, several seconds passed before I wrapped my head around what was happening; around the fact that he was happy to see me go. He was glad to be rid of me.
The walk back to my chamber was long and quiet. My swimmy head made the walls around me feel as if they were spinning. I had to catch myself a couple times to keep from stumbling, and when I finally made it to my door, I collapsed into a broken heap on the polished tiles. I buried my face into my arms and screamed as waves of emotion wracked my frame.
Thutmosis; the manipulative scoundrel had been behind every tragedy that had befallen us. He had violated me, and Ahmose could no longer stand to look at me. Now that I was leaving, who would protect Ahmose from his grim fate? How quickly he had forgotten he was destined to become history's lost pharaoh.
I lay upon the polished tiles until I could gather enough strength to lift myself from the floor. And then I began to tidy my chamber. I changed into the clothes I had originally worn that fateful day I had been plummeted into the ancient past, and I gathered my personal items into my satchel. The jewelry and adornments Ahmose had given me were all placed in the ornate box by my vanity. They had been gifts from him and did not belong to me, so I would leave them behind.
Suddenly, my door creaked open and Iset came into the room. Her expression was unnaturally dark for her lovely face. She came into the light like a sad figurine. I shifted uncomfortably as she watched me. I did not blame her for Thutmosis' actions, but she was one of the last people I wanted to see.
"My lady, please tell me it is not true," she said quietly and wrapped her arms around me. "Please tell me you are not leaving!"
"I must leave, Iset. I do not belong here," I whispered.
"I understand," she sighed. "I can see in your eyes you have yearned for your home for a long time now." Around her neck she wore an amulet shaped like an ankh. Its golden surface reflected brilliantly as she removed it and placed it over my head. "I pray the goddess Isis will give you safe passage on your journey."
I clasped the ankh in my hand and fingered the tiny rubies encrusted in each of its corners. "Thank you," I murmured.
Her lips shifted into a small smile. "Oh, before I forget," she said suddenly. From the pocket of her robe, she pulled out a pouch and placed it in my hand. "Pharaoh asked me to bring this to you. He couldn't come himself," she explained. I opened the pouch and found coins of Egyptian gold inside. "During your journey, you will need food and shelter from the nights. It should be a sufficient amount to last you for a while. It should be more than enough to get you home."
I nearly dropped the pouch. Immediately, I knew the gold was a gift from Iset. Ahmose knew my home was in the twenty-first century. Why would he send me such a large sum of money for a short passage? Iset's eyes glinted. She was desperate to get me out of the palace. Did she want me away from Thutmosis?
"On second thought, perhaps I should linger until Pharaoh is no longer tied up. I have not given him a proper farewell," I said.
Her hands twitched nervously and she drew in a breath. "But Pharaoh could be away for hours. He is busy preparing for the equinox," she replied eagerly. "And you must want to begin your journey while the sun is still high in the sky. It is not safe to travel at dusk."
I watched her suspiciously.
"If you wish for me to pass a message on to him, I would be more than happy to accommodate."
I craned my head to look out the window. The sun was setting, and the polished marble of the palace glimmered under the tangerine sky. I stuffed the pouch of gold into my satchel. "Pharaoh doesn't need to be bothered with senseless messages from me. I will be on my way," I replied.
"Farewell, Kara," she said softly as I left the room.
Though it was only March, the weather had changed from warm to sweltering hot and the desert climate became more humid. Georgia was hot in the summer, but the heat in Egypt was enough to cause anyone to stroke out and die from exposure. I rested under a palm tree in an oasis by the bank of the river. It was my only refuge from this cruel, hostile place.
I stared out across the river and watched the fishermen lure in their catches. The Nile snaked around Thebes like an endless lifeline, sparkling as if clusters of diamonds lay unmoved at the bottom. The shoreline was specked with lush green grass, and bleached dunes of sand expanded far beyond it, grasping the horizon like round hands.
Where would I go now? It would seem my time in ancient Egypt would have run out by now. I had fulfilled the task of discovering the lost pharaoh, though I could never be sure if that was what fate had in store for me. I had no other purpose to remain in ancient Egypt, and all I wanted was to go home.
Home; how could I ever return there? It would seem my only way back to the future was through Ahmose, and he was exactly what I was running from. Was there a shelter in Thebes that would take me in until I could form a solid plan? A sob caught in my throat, and I began to weep once again. I brought my knees up to my chest and buried my face into them.
Soft footsteps trudged in the sand nearby as someone approached me. "Are you ok, my dear?" a gentle voice called.
I looked up into the face of a man. He was tall with a lean build, and had graying hair that reminded me of my father's. His face was a solemn mask. He wasn't very old, though he was much older than Ahmose. Perhaps twice his age.
I nodded my head. I wiped my eyes as he examined me for a moment. I could tell from his expression he was glancing over my strange garments. He wiped the sweat from his brow. "Mind if I sit?"
I wanted to shed tears in private, but I was so lost and forlorn, I would have welcomed any company. He pulled a neckerchief from his tunic and handed it to me. "Thank you," I whispered and dabbed my eyes with the linen.
"A wounded heart can only hurt for so long. Time passes, but true love never dies," he surmised, assuming only a man could bring me to tears. "You will not perish from the agony you are feeling right now. You will heal, I promise."
"I will not heal," I replied, realizing how foolish I must have sounded. But it was the truth. If I could return home somehow and be with Clair, perhaps I would move on from this. But I was trapped in an ancient world that couldn't accept me.
His laugh was soft and gentle. "Dry your tears and tell me all that has happened. I am sure all isn't as bad as it seems."
"I am lost," I confessed. "I don't know where to go from here."
"Where did you come from?"
Ahmose had asked me this same question long ago, and I tried to recall the answer I had given him before revealing the truth by his deathbed. "I am not from Egypt," I answered, falling into silence as I lost myself in my own thoughts. "But I want to go home."
"Where are you headed? I'll sail you anywhere up river." The kind man waved his hand toward the river, and docked by the shore was a small boat. "I am a fisherman, and I was just on my way home for the evening. Tell me where you want to go, and I will take you there."
I had no reason to trust this man, but his warm smile made him seem harmless. "I can pay you," I replied, not wanting his kind act to go unrewarded.
He chuckled. "There is no need. I am a lonely old man. I would enjoy the company." His sweet tone reminded me of Father's, and I only grew more homesick. "My name is Hanif," he said, and dusted the sand from his clothes as he stood.
"I am Kara," I greeted, and rose from the dirt.
He motioned towards his boat and together we walked to the bank. "Kara, where are you headed?"
"Giza," I suddenly replied, though I had given no thought to it. Giza, the ancient city of Cairo, had been the last place I stood while in the twenty-first century. If I went there...would the same force that had drawn me into the ancient past send me home? My heart suddenly filled with hope. "I want to go to Giza."
Hanif scratched his head and pondered aloud, "Giza is a two day trip upriver. I can only take you so far tonight. We can sail again early tomorrow and be in Giza by sunset."
My heart sank at the thought of having to spend one more night in ancient Egypt. But I had already been here for months, and I knew I could survive one more night. "I understand. Thank you." I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand. "It's so hot," I sighed miserably.
Beside me, as we trudged through the sand to the small boat docked by the bank, he chucked. "Egypt is always hot," he replied, shuffling through the sand with his sandaled feet. "Being a visitor, you are not used to the heat?"
"Not exactly," I answered.
He boarded before me, and stretched his hand to help me. Hesitantly, I took it and allowed him to pull me aboard. The boat, carved from sycamore wood, was plain and had no canopy to shield us from the sun. Though it was near setting, the sun continued to beam down on us like an angry orb of fire.
"Drink this, it will cool your throat," Hanif said, handing me a canteen of beer.
I drank it down and my eyes squinted as a hot breeze brushed my face with its traces of grain. I turned my face from its path and watched the palace fade into the distance as we sailed away from it. The ancient metropolis of Thebes was a landscape of mud brick buildings surrounded by sparkling white marble that encased the city. Even the glistening walls of Ahmose's palace rivaled the sun's luster.
Ahmose; the moment I thought of his name, my heart sighed miserably. "What are you looking at?" Hanif asked.
"Thebes," I murmured, and turned my back to the city.
"Thebes is a splendid city, and home to Pharaoh himself," he breathed. My countenance fell, and he must have sensed my distress because he quickly changed the subject. "My home is in Karnak. We will dock there for tonight, and continue our journey early tomorrow. If you need a place to sleep, you may stay under our roof for the evening. My wife welcomes company."
"Thank you," I sighed, relieved to have a safe place to sleep tonight. The gentle tide carried us upriver, and upon its glassy surface brought white lilies. The sun began to set, and twilight fell over Egypt. Pinpoints of starlight began to shine as the violet sky darkened into blackness. Firelight burned brightly as torches lined the port of Karnak as we came to the shoreline.
The torches that dotted the shoreline trailed through Karnak; so many, a haunting glow seemed to possess the city. I followed Hanif down the quiet streets as an eerie hush swept over us. It was late; I was exhausted, and the effort it took to keep up with his long strides was enough to make me nearly collapse.
"We're almost there," he reminded me. The mud brick homes all looked the same. We came to one at the end of the street, and it appeared no different from the others, save for the red drapes that covered the lone window.
Hanif's wife must have been expecting him, because she greeted us at the door before he even got a chance to knock. Her eyes were the soft color of the Egyptian desert, and her ashen brown hair fell in loose curls. She was probably the same age as him, close to forty. She smiled at her husband, and when she glimpsed me past his shoulder, she suddenly appeared startled.
"We have a guest for the evening," Hanif explained. "Her name is Kara, and she is a traveler in need of help. I have offered to sail her to Giza early tomorrow, but for tonight, she needs a roof over her head."
Understanding came to the woman's eyes, and she smiled sweetly. "Please come in, Kara. Are you hungry, my dear?"
The muscles in my stomach tightened from the dry ache of hunger. I had barely eaten today. "Yes, ma'am," I replied gratefully. Among the three of us, we shared a small loaf of bread and beer. It was hardly the lavish meals I was used to in Pharaoh's palace, but it was just as delicious on my ravished tongue. Pharaoh...Ahmose...
Had he even thought about me since I left? Agony began to seize my heart once again, so I pushed him from my thoughts.
"What do you do for a living?" I asked Hanif, wondering if he did more than fish.
"I am a sailor," he replied. "In my youth, I sailed great ships across the Mediterranean. I even consulted Pharaoh's mother many years ago when she wanted to sail to Crete. I was considered the best navigator at that time, and so she made me captain of her ship, and I would sail her abroad."
"What happened?"
Hanif smiled over at his wife and placed his hand in hers. "I conceived our first child," she replied.
"I didn't want to be so far away from my family, and so I gave up my position and became a sailor here along the Nile. Though my son is now a man and has a family of his own, I am still much happier being close to Karnak."
A soft gust came into the home, and I shivered against the frigid air. I moved the drape aside and gazed up at the cloudless sky. The moon was a full orb of white light.
"It is late," Hanif said finally. "We have an early day tomorrow if we want to reach Giza by sunset. The Nile is not safe to travel a long distance after moonrise."
The home, which was probably less than half the size of the chamber I had stayed in while at Pharaoh's palace, was cramped. Hanif's wife brought a pillow and blanket to me, and she and her husband curled into their bed on the opposite side of the home. I wrapped myself in the blanket and made myself a bed on the other side probably only ten feet away from them. She put out the small fire burning in the lamp, and the home fell into darkness.
I curled into the blanket, but I slept little that night because my dreams were haunted by the scornful look worn by Ahmose as he cast me aside like a ruined garment.