It amazed Alice to think that one more day, and they would have Mark back on board. That was best case scenario, of course, there was still a lot that could go wrong. But so much had gone awry and Mark still pulled through and managed to defeat all the odds. On Mars, he had good communication with NASA, and they were helping him prepare for his trip to the Ares 4 landing site, where he would alter the MAV so that he could get out of orbit and intercept with the Hermes during the flyby. That was the plan, but things never truly went according to plan; life was always going to be messy, but if it wasn't, what would be the point? Mark lost contact with NASA well before he left for the Ares 4 landing sight, a technical error, a mistake by Mark. But the plan was already in motion, he knew what he needed to do, and he continued according to plan with only a few hiccups.
When he left on his trip, he was not able to be informed of the massive sandstorm that he would be driving through. Given that his Rover was run entirely by solar panels, the sandstorm could have been the final curveball that life could have thrown at Mark, and it could have been the death of him. But Mark Watney had survived Mars, Mark Watney knew that Mars was never going to be easy on him, and he managed to get out of the sandstorm before it was too late. The Hermes crew only got updates from NASA on their speculations from watching Mark move along the red planet, and they had to silently hope that he made it, and that their return trip to Mars had not been for nothing but false hope.
But he had overcome all obstacles, and he was waiting patiently on Mars now. Alice was preparing herself for both outcomes; saving Mark and having to be there for him through all the mental and physical trauma that he had gone through over the duration of his time on Mars. And the other outcome, which was that they were unable to rescue Mark, and how she was supposed to help the crew and herself get through something like that. She did not think she was up for the job if they didn't save Mark, she wasn't sure how they could cope with something like that. Devastating was not a strong enough word to begin to describe how it would be.
They'd gone over it over and over, and over, and once more. Martinez had gone through every possible outcome of piloting the MAV and gotten Mark safely every time; Johanssen threw many curve balls at him to test his abilities, and the only ones Martinez didn't successfully accomplish were the ones where the MAV blew up. It was dark, hard to think about, but it had to be a considered possibility. Beck was to go out and retrieve Mark when he was close enough, Vogel standing in as back up to get Beck if anything were to happen. The other three would be in the cockpit changing course as needed to get the proper velocity and intercept; Beck could only handle to much.
Alice would be waiting, again, in the medical wing where -if anything were to happen to Beck- she would have to be the one to assist Watney. He was going to be in rough shape even before the ascended from Mars, and flying out of Mars' orbit in a "convertible" MAV would likely leave him with broken bones, possible head injuries, it was more likely that he would be unconscious as well. He would be severely malnourished, weak, and likely mentally strained to the point of confusion. Alice needed Beck to make it through this, she couldn't do it without him no matter how much he had gone over what she would need to do if anything were to happen to him.
"You don't think anything will happen, right?" Alice asked, gripping her wrist tightly and digging her nails into her skin. She was nervous, more nervous than she'd ever been in her entire life. So many things were hanging in such a delicate balance.
"Things have gone as well as possible so far, I'd like to believe that tomorrow will go well," Beck said.
"But...?" She could hear in his voice that there was more to what he was saying. They were sitting in his room; she'd given up her room a few months back when Martinez's room had overheated. The issue they had endured during the first few months of the trip had reoccurred, only this time Mark wasn't there to fix it and there was nothing that they did that altered the heat problem. Luckily, it had only affected Martinez's and Watney's rooms, and so Alice offered up hers because she was happy to move into Beck's. Lewis agreed to it, as everyone had to make compromise while they were struggling to keep the Hermes in working condition.
"There is a good chance Mark will be out of reach tomorrow," He said. "Anything could happen, velocity is too high, distance is too far. I have to be prepared for anything out there."
"Beck, you're hiding something." Alice reached her hand over and grabbed his, placing it upon her lap and holding it with both of her hands. She rubbed the back of his hand to show him that she was open to anything he had to say. She needed to know if Beck was going to do anything stupid because he still had some guilt for calling Mark's death prematurely. She still believed that he had made the right call, but worried that he was going to want to make up for that by doing something drastic to save Mark, even if it cost his own life.
"I haven't talked to Lewis about it yet, but I will go off-tether if I can't reach Mark with it on."
"No." Alice shook her head. "No, Beck, that's... That's suicide."
"It's not a big deal, Alice," he explained. "I'd have the thrust to get out and reach him and make it back to the Hermes in time; if it means I can save him, I'll do it. Obviously I hope that I can reach him on the tether, but I'm willing to make that call."
Alice released his hand and looked down at her lap. "I understand why you think you have to do that."
"I don't think I have to, I know I have to," he said. "Mark's been through hell, I'm ready to make a few risky moves to get him back."
"And if we lose you? We lose you, we lose Mark." Alice felt as though she was shaking; the man she loved was willing to float into open space with the chance he might never make it back on the Hermes. He would suffer a slow, agonizing death, and no one could do a thing to save him or Mark. "Lewis will never okay that."
Beck wrapped his arm around Alice's stiff shoulder, she didn't want to be cold, but she didn't want him to think that going off-tether was okay in any shape or form. He kissed the side of her head and held her tight. "I'm going to do what I have to do."
There was a moment of silence as they both thought about tomorrow, the endless possibilities of problems that could arise. It was a dark day, but also an optimistic one. They were closer to saving Mark than they had been since NASA discovered that he was alive. There was something eerily uncomfortable and insidious about sitting next to the man that she loved, knowing that he might be dead tomorrow. They had all put their lives in danger going on the original Ares 3 mission, and even more so when they decided to go back for Mark. But taking any unnecessary risk was stupid, and Alice felt uncomfortable with the information that Beck had given her.
"Please don't do it," she pleaded, looking him in the eyes to show him just how serious she was about this.
"It's my call," he said, standing his ground. "I don't want to go to bed with you mad at me, I don't want to tackle tomorrow with you mad at me. I want you to know that I love you, Alice, and I intend to go back to Earth with you, I intend to take you on a real date, I want to officially meet your family, and introduce you to mine. Those are all things I intend to do, and I also intend to do what I have to in order to save Mark. I'm not going to risk my life, I know how to gauge the situation if I can't make it back. I won't let that happen, tomorrow I will make it back, with Mark. I promise."
Though his promise couldn't one hundred per cent be held true, she still felt his words were what she needed to hear. So she nodded because she wasn't sure if her voice was going to cooperate. She held on tighter to Beck that night, but she did not sleep well. No one did, not Lewis, not the crew, not Mark, not anyone at NASA, not anyone following Mark's story. To know that everything would be determined tomorrow, NASA would have no control over what happened because they were too far away to make any suggestions or adjustments- no one rested well that night, and the night seemed to drag on forever. So Alice took that time to hold on to Beck as if it were the last time she would.