Graciously Ginny
Chapter Sixteen
~~
Ginny hadn't liked having to say goodbye to her family again, but she also knew her home was now in Colorado. They had left on December twenty-seventh and got home by New Year's.
It took a while to get back into a schedule, but by January fifth they all were. She'd be the first to wake up and though she had been getting sick a lot lately she kept it to herself. She didn't want to admit to Thomas or the girls what she knew to be true- She was pregnant.
Thomas and she had only spent a night together after she had that dream about Fergus but that had been all it took. She decided to hide it though, she was only three and a half months along and she hadn't started showing yet. She would tell him eventually just not until the time was right.
She made breakfast, usually eggs as they were the only thing, she could stand the smell of. Bread sent her straight to the outhouse if she could even make it that far before she lost the contents of her stomach. And for lunch she'd usually make a soup of some sort, the same with dinner. She knew that Thomas and the girls must be sick of what she was making but no one ever said anything about it.
After breakfast she'd start the girls on their lessons and then clean the house, after she fed the girls lunch she'd read to them and get them to finish up their lessons by supper. It was the same thing every day.
Thomas had been working in town a lot lately and she figured it was to give her some space and time to think things out. The girls missed him though and she hated that she was the reason he didn't spend as much time with them anymore.
It had been snowing almost non-stop since they got back and this morning was particularly bad, it looked like it would be a blizzard and even their dog Callie had been staying close to the fire.
"I don't think you should go into town today." She told Thomas over the breakfast table after pushing her half eaten plate aside.
He looked up from the paper he had been reading, and his deep brown eyes found hers instantly.
"Is something the matter?" he questioned looking at both of the girls before returning his gaze to hers.
"No we're all fine it's the weather Tom. Have you looked outside today?" She questioned sounding more concerned then she meant to.
Thomas laughed surprising her "Is that concern I hear in your voice Mrs. Clayton?" he asked in a fake shocked voice.
"Wilhelmina, Lorelei" She said turning to her attention to their daughters "Why don't you two go upstairs and play with your dolls? I need to talk to your father."
Wilhelmina seemed to naturally act older than her six years; she nodded thoughtfully getting up from the table and taking Lorelei's hand as she led her from the room.
She waited until she heard them walk up the stairs until she spoke.
"Thomas what was all that about? I can be concerned, I am your wife." She asked crossing her arms.
"Well you've barely spoke a word to me since we got home." He said putting down his paper.
"You've been so busy lately. I wanted you to spend as much time with the girls as possible."
"I don't get you Ginny" He said pushing his chair back from the table "I tell you I love you and you... freeze me out." He got up and walked out of the room, she followed him instantly angry.
"Oh like it's just me? You've been distant too Thomas Jay Clayton!"
"Distant how?" he asked walking into his study. She followed him and shut the door behind them.
"Like this, you've gone back to just working all the time, and shutting your family out whilst you lock yourself in your study." She put her hands on her hips.
"Oh excuse me if I don't want to be around the woman who practically rejected me."
"I did not reject you Tom I said I needed time, there's a difference."
"It doesn't feel like it. Look I understand you need time, but I thought you'd still talk to me. You've barely even looked at me in the past month."
She bit her lip, he was right she had been avoiding him. She was afraid if she looked at him he'd be able to read her thoughts and find out she was pregnant and that she really did return his feelings, she loved him but she couldn't allow herself to say it out loud she feared that somehow that would make it more real, and she'd end up losing him.
"Exactly, do you even want to be married to me Virginia?" He asked the questioned harshly.
"Don't do that!" She said gaining her courage back up "We are both at fault here Thomas it's not just me or you."
"You didn't answer my question." He said leaning back in his desk chair.
"I want to be married to you Thomas." She said seriously.
"Why have you started to wear black again?" He asked looking towards her mourning dress. In all honesty it was so no one could tell she was pregnant, she feared she would start showing soon. She shrugged realizing he was still waiting for an answer.
"Dammit Ginny how are we to be married if you never even tell me anything? We've got no communication."
"Watch your language!" Ginny hissed "There are children in this house." She turned to leave his study and heard him follow her.
"Where are you going?" he asked, "Are you not going to even work this out with me?"
"No, I need to be alone. I'm going to town, stay here with the girls... tell them they can have the day off on their lessons."
"Gin, you said that you didn't think I should go to town." He reminded her as he crossed his arms and stood in front of the front door.
"Is that concern?" she asked mockingly "I'll be fine, I'll be home before dark. Make sure you feed Wilhelmina and Lorelei something for lunch." She said pushing past him. She grabbed her cloak, gloves, scarf and hat on her way out. "Don't follow me Tom." She said sternly shutting the door behind her.
The sky was an odd color between white and gray causing it to seem much later in the day then it was. She put on all her winter wear so she wouldn't get to cold. She practically marched to town, barely noticing the hill anymore.
Once she got to the main street of their little town she decided on the mercantile, a little shopping at Thomas' expense sounded quite nice right about now. She hated how the nosey Mrs. Roberts looked at her with judgment in her eyes once she entered the store.
"I see your back?" she asked with her usual uppity sour face.
"That's funny I thought I was still in Kansas, but now that you mention it I guess I am back." Ginny said sarcastically causing Mrs. Roberts to gasp in shock.
"Well you're certainly in a mood, now aren't you?" She said fixing her already straight broach in one of the looking glasses they had for sell.
Ginny chose not to reply instead she looked at the small selection they carried of baby stuff.
She heard the noisy fabric of Mrs. Roberts' dress as she drew nearer. "Thinking about having a child of your own?" she questioned.
"I already have two" Ginny retorted "Wilhelmina and Lorelei are my children."
"Yes well my Reba was going to marry Thomas before you came to town and married him first." She said crossing her arms.
Ginny just shrugged, Thomas hadn't said anything about being promised to anyone.
"He still comes by to see her though... I guess you could say they've remained Very close." Mrs. Roberts said with a satisfied grin.
"And just what are you implying?" Ginny asked turning to face the older woman.
"That my Reba and Thomas have... an understanding. She's his mistress." As soon as the words left Mrs. Robert's mouth Ginny felt as though someone had stuck a knife in her heart. It couldn't be true, could it?
"I need to go." She said leaving the store immediately. She'd just talk to Thomas about it, there had to be a logical explanation for it. Perhaps Mrs. Roberts was a horrible gossip who lied threw her teeth. Yet part of her wondered if it were true.
Someone couldn't change so much, could they?
Thomas had probably bedded every girl in the town before she met him. That thought made her anger grow.
~~ ~~
Thomas opened the door thinking it was Ginny but much to his disappointment it was Reba Roberts. She was a nice girl considering who her parents were, but she wasn't Ginny. And he could tell she had some sort of crush on him, not to mention her mother Mrs. Roberts threw her at him every chance she got. Although it had stopped when her married Ginny, thankfully.
"Mr. Clayton" Reba said shyly, the poor girl probably never got to speak with a mother like Mrs. Roberts. "I heard you were back, and I figured by now you were probably settled in... so I brought you some cookies."
"Thank you Miss Roberts... would you like to come in?" he asked not wanting to be rude, but hoping she would say she had to leave.
"I'd love to come in, thank you." She said walking past him into the house "You have a beautiful home." she commented looking around.
"Thank you." He said shutting the door and walking past her towards the parlor, he didn't want to leave the girls alone for too long.
"How was your Christmas?" Reba asked putting a wayward strand of blond hair back in place. Her green eyes looked up at him with admiration, he knew he should be nice but part of him wanted to throw her back out. He was a married man and he didn't like how the Roberts acted like he wasn't.
The weirdest thing about Mrs. Roberts was she spoke so poorly of him and yet she wanted to marry her only child to him, he shook his head women wore more confusing than anything else.
"It was great" He said "We went to my wife's Mother's house." He put extra emphases on "wife" hoping she'd get the point.
"Oh how lovely" she said taking a seat on the overstuffed blue chair Ginny usually sat in. He took a seat and looked towards his daughters. Both were staring out the window into the darkness.
"Girls why don't you come over here and say hi to Miss Roberts?" he suggested, he knew they were waiting on Ginny- he was too.
"No we're waiting for Mama to come back." Wilhelmina told him stubbornly. Lorelei nodded firmly and both girls went back to looking out the window.
"Sorry" he said to Reba "Ginny's rarely away from them... in fact she's been gone for a while it's not like her... perhaps I should go look for her?"
"I'm sure she's fine..." Reba said waving a hand "It's snowing but not too badly, she'll find her way back home."
Thomas shook his head and stood up "If it's all the same I'd like to make sure she's alright. Will you watch the girls?" He got up walking back towards the front door.
"Wait Thomas do you really think it's wise?" She questioned following him.
"Yes." He said slightly insulted "Wilhelmina and Lorelei are very well behaved I'll be back soon."
He grabbed his coat and slipped on the floor he hadn't realized was wet, he fell backwards falling with a thumb as Reba ran to help him, and instead she fell on top of him. That was when the front door opened.
"T-Thomas, How could you!" Ginny sounded so angry; he then realized how it must have looked.
"Gin, it's not what you think" He said lightly pushing Reba off of him and quickly getting up.
"And in front of our daughters?" She shrieked "I can't believe it's true... I'm so humiliated!" She pushed past him and stormed up the stairs.
He followed her to her room where she grabbed a carpet bag from the wardrobe.
"I can't believe you Thomas." She said throwing clothing into her bag "You had me actually believing you had changed!"
"What are you talking about?" He asked stopping her by grabbing her forearms "What's wrong?"
Her eyes looked like a stormy blue-gray sky as she glared at him.
"I'm going back home. I'll send you the divorce papers." She said firmly, shrugging free of his hold she went back to packing. But he couldn't help but be shocked; did she really think he cheated on her with Reba?
"Ginny I'm not with anyone but you. I do love you-"
"Leave now Thomas, I don't want to hear anymore lies from you."
"But I'm not lying-"
"Out now." she said threw clinched teeth, she was beyond upset and he had no idea how to calm her down.
"So are you saying you don't want to be married to me anymore?" he questioned at the door.
"That's precisely what I'm saying. This whole marriage was a mistake." She had unshed tears in her eyes, but she also looked furious, which made him think they were tears from her rage.
"You don't love me?" He asked, putting his heart on the line.
She let the tears fall "No." she said with a shaky voice. He felt the pain of a million heart breaks at once. How could he have been so stupid?
~~ ~~
Ginny watched as Thomas left her room she sat on her bed and let the tearsfall, she couldn't believe it was all true. What a complete and utter fool shehad been! Her dog Callie lay at her feet and she put her hands around herstomach.
After a few more minutes she wiped the tears and finished packing. She wouldhave to leave Callie with Thomas until she could make arrangements to get her.She took off the cameo Thomas had given her and laid it on her bed beforewalking down the stairs.
She clinched her jaw to keep from crying, how would she leave Wilhelmina andLorelei? They had become so much like her daughters, she loved them as much asif she had given birth to them herself.
"Callie will have to stay here until I can get my Cousins to come get her... I'mleaving now." She said not looking Thomas in the eyes.
"Mama!" Wilhelmina said running over to her "We want to come too."
This time she couldn't stop the tears from falling "Honey you've got to stayhere with your Papa... but I'll always be in your heart, just as you'll be inmine."
"Mama" Lorelei said in a small husky voice surprising all of them, evenWilhelmina "Don't leave me!"