Gerard couldn't sleep. No, not with knowing he wouldn't see Frank in the morning; or not being able to text him; and certainly not without his arms wrapped around him and his silent breathing filling his ears and lulling him into his dreams. He wasn't even tired.
He was awake as ever.
And talking to one of his roommates wouldn't help. They were either snobby, mean, or down right stupid. And it was odd, too, because a lot of them had similar interests, yet were just so different. Gerard wasn't too surprised at his failure to get along with everyone; it was a common thing for him. The only friends he had were Frank and the other people at the junkyard.
Gerard remembered he had had one really good friend a long time ago. They did everything together, had similar interests, lived VERY close by...and they loved each other. Gerard hadn't seen him for six years now, and he doubted he ever would until they were both 18. His name was Mikey.
Mikey Way.
When Mikey was 11, his parents sent him to live with their Aunt and Uncle across the country. No visits, no phone calls, no letters; it was as if they'd just abandoned him. And they had. Gerard would never forgive his parents for that. They clearly never loved Mikey in the first place. He knew all the attention was on himself and he hated it. Mikey was great at so many things, and he was so much smarter than Gerard; but still, he was ignored.
And why? Just because Gerard was a couple years older? He was still their son, dammit, and he deserved to be treated like it. Sometimes he forgot what Mikey looked like. That broke his heart the most. And he didn't dare speak his name at home. That never ended well...
Gerard rolled over and sighed. His sleepless brain was other thinking everything and giving him a head ache. And he only wanted one thing right then; one thing to keep him sane. Frank.
***
But he missed him so much...
Frank, now sweaty and already tired, strolled into his empty, quiet house and sighed. It was already getting dark, (he had done some running around town and thinking things over before finally coming home) and he didn't want to sleep. Frank just wanted to do something or find something out...he needed to talk to someone...he needed...damn...he needed Gerard.
But he didn't want Gerard. He was afraid of what he'd find out, because there was no way he was just going to shrug off that encounter with Jimmy. No way; not after what he'd said to him and how he treated him. He began to wonder if he was over reacting, but quickly threw the idea to the side.
No, Frank decided; he couldn't take this, not now, not ever. Gerard's friends hated him, and soon everyone would hate him again.
So, once again, after two weeks, two, happy weeks, Frank packed his bags, guitar and all...
And left.
***
Gerard woke in a cold sweat. He'd finally gotten to sleep and a nightmare awakened him just an hour later. Just a few moments later, and most of the nightmare had dissolved. But all he knew was that he needed to leave. He needed to see Frank.
It was only eleven, which kind of pissed Gerard off. They had sent them to bed at eight like little kids. Whatever; at least he had more time. He swung his legs over the side of his bed, carefully and quietly traveling to his bags. The sound of his roommates' snoring was creating a pattern now; and each time he thought the pattern stopped or changed, Gerard froze in his place and began cooking up his lies.
Soon, he had slipped into some jeans and shoes, gotten his stuff together, (in case he wasn't coming back, which he hoped he'd pull off) and he was ready to go.
"Isn't it too early for breakfast?" he heard a whisper behind him. Gerard spun around and looked down at Sean with wide eyes.
"I—I, uh—" Gerard stuttered in front of him; there was no way a little lie was going to save THIS evidence.
"You're leaving?" Sean asked. Gerard nodded guiltily. Sean sighed and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "What's her name?"
Gerard managed to chuckle. "Frank." He admitted boldly.
Sean paused and processed Gerard's seriousness of what he'd said. "Oh." He replied. "Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't—okay." This just amused Gerard even more.
"Look, you gonna rat me out?" Gerard asked quietly, looking around at the others who were sleeping like logs.
Sean thought for a second. "You coming back before morning?"
Gerard shrugged. "Might not come back at all."
More hesitation, but finally, Sean took a deep breath and crossed his arms. "If you never come back, there's not much else I can do besides rat you out." He paused again. "But, if you make if before morning...I won't say anything. And I'll convince these ass holes too." Sean replied, gesturing to the others.
Gerard smiled, patting Sean on the back. "Thanks dude, owe you one."
"Yeah, next time you see me—you know, if you ever go to California..." Sean mumbled with a laugh.
Gerard laughed, waved goodbye, and left.
***
Gerard pulled into Frank's house with a smile on his face. His mom's car wasn't there, which was a good sign. He noticed that most of the lights were off, though. Weird.
He knocked on the door a few times; no reply. He called his name from outside. Nothing. He jiggled the doorknob, and it opened right up. Door unlocked? Gerard was getting worried as he walked through the dark house. He's probably just asleep, he told himself; just sleeping...
"Frank?" he called, poking his head in the rooms.
He noticed that here and there, things were crooked or empty looking, as if something was missing. Gerard ignored it and slowly and carefully entered Frank's room. The bed was made, things were put away, and it looked nice.
Bad sign; Frank's room never looked nice.
But no Frank anywhere. But what really did Gerard in was the specific things he finally realize were missing; his favorite clothes, CD's, his iPod, his money stash...
And his fucking guitar.
"No, no..." Gerard said aloud, running frantically around the house, "No! Fuck, Frank, no!"
Tears were streaming down his face as he jumped in his car, barely even checking behind him before backing out. He had to find Frank; he KNEW he'd find Frank...
He always found Frank.
***
Frank was full of energy, all his baggage not even slowing him as he walked proudly down the dark street by himself. He was excited; finally getting away. Maybe THIS would be the time; maybe THIS time he'd get it right. Gerard was out of town, no HE couldn't mess it up again. It was perfect.
But this time felt different. He felt like he was running FROM something rather than ESCAPING it. Before, it was as if he was regaining freedom from some sort of prison. It felt right; it felt okay. Now it just felt...scary. He knew that after this, he'd be alone again. Just like before, just like always...and just how he'd wanted to be.
So why did it hurt?
And, fuck, why was he crying now?
Frank suddenly stopped walking, dropping to his knees in the darkness of the abandoned road just outside town. His bags fell with him, resting on the ground, one of them making a terrible noise at the impact. Tears began streaming from his eyes with no mercy, and soon he was crying. Something was missing, and he knew what it was. But with how angry and hurt he had been, he didn't want to admit it
Everything went quiet again. Frank couldn't hear a thing besides his own crying, and he liked it. He didn't even hear the car pull up beside him and park; not until he felt an arm around him, holding him as he began to cry.
He turned to the person and tried to smile, but simply shook his head until their lips met. It was a gentle kiss, one that let Frank know that he was there, and despite his anger that day, he needed it, and he accepted it.
"Frank," Gerard whispered when their lips separated, "I will always find you."
Frank nodded and allowed Gerard to pull him to his feet again. He gladly got into the car with Gerard, but not before being held extremely tight in his arms for a long moment. And that was it; that's what Frank was missing. He smiled.
And then he cried again.