Blake checked the time on his watch, 1230 hours it showed. He got up from his seat as he sighed heavily.
'Leaving early today?' Matthew questioned.
Blake didn't want to answer him, he was never in good terms with his colleagues and Matthew's curiosity was only testing his patience. Blake looked at him uncomfortably as he continued walking towards the exit.
'Are you deaf, Blake?' Matthew kept following him in close proximity. Blake was getting even more furious, he didn't want to hurt Matthew but that seemed like the only option to him now.
Blake stopped in his tracks as he turned to meet Matthew. In that moment, he knew he had lost every hope he had of saving his job and probably his life. He knew he had an illness, a disorder and now the world would know it.
'What are you doing?' Matthew took steps back as Blake curled his fingers into a fist. A strong blow was enough to knock him to the ground, unconscious. Blake felt satisfied, even though he didn't touch him yet.
He opened his eyes, he was near the elevator. Matthew was no where. He looked back at the numerous small cubicles and saw Matthew flirting his way into a fellow colleagues pants.
'This cannot be happening to me. I'm not crazy.' Blake reassured himself, as he felt his sanity slipping out of his fingers like sand.
The golden doors of the elevator showed him a distorted reflection of himself, he started at it for what felt like ages to him until with a soft beep the doors opened up.
'Which floor, sir?' Roberto questioned.
'Parking.'
Roberto pressed a button, as the elevator started descending. Blake often compared the descent of the elevator with his life and somehow, it always fit his perception.
The elevator doors slid aside as they reached the Parking. 'Have a good day, sir.' Roberto lifted his hat in respect.
Blake looked at him with a straight face, it had always been that way. He never smiled at anybody, he behaved like a machine.
He took the card out of his pocket as he checked the address, it wasn't very far from his office building, but he still chose to drive.
He waited for the light to turn green at the signal, trying his best to ignore the impatient moron honking behind him. Had this been another day, the moron wouldn't have lived to see daylight.
Blake lifted his eyes up to look into the rear view mirror, the reflection showed a man not very aged sitting comfortably in a red car, honking. Blake smiled as he thought about the numerous things he could do to hurt him. He knew his thoughts were not normal, they were sadistic. His thought process was disrupted as he saw the lights turn green. He drove off to his destination smiling at that fact that he retained control over the thoughts that could've landed him in trouble.
****
Blake walked through the polished marble floors towards the reception. A young lady greeted him.
'Hello sir, Do you have an appointment?'
'Yes, at 1300 hours.'
'Okay Mr. Ren, please have a seat. I'd pass on the information of your arrival to Mrs. Quinn.'
Blake walked towards the seating area and made himself comfortable.He looked at the numerous patients who were patiently waiting for their turns and wondered if they had the kind of thoughts he had. He started at a woman in particular he found alluring. She fidgeted with her fingers and had a stoic expression on her face, he was curious to know about her secrets but was interrupted by a woman calling out his name. He got up from his seat as he looked at the lady through the corner of his eye, one last time.
'Hello, Mr. Ren.' A lady in her 20's greeted Blake as he walked into a brightly lit room.
'Hello.'
'My name is Sophia.' She smiled.
'I'm Blake.'
'Are you nervous, Blake?'
'No.' Blake replied with a straight expression, constantly fidgeting with his fingers.
'Your posture and the way you're moving your fingers say otherwise.'
Blake stopped, his expression changed. He was starting to get defensive, he felt she was trying to get into his mind and it scared him.
'Now Blake, I want you to tell me how you felt in the last say 3 days?'
Blake looked at her, he found the session boring- 'I was normal.'
Sophia shifted in her chair as she repeated her question- 'Blake I want you to be honest with me, I want to help you. You can be assured that anything and everything that you confess within the boundaries of this room, stays here.'
'I should probably tell her.' Blake told himself.
'Lately, I've been having bad dreams and weird thoughts. I feel I'm losing my mind, and everything around me.'
Sophia wrote the details he uttered in her diary, as she cross questioned him- 'What kind of dreams and thoughts?'
'I see a woman.'
'What does she do?'
'She wants me to follow her.'
'How do you feel when you see her in your dream?'
'Scared, but a part of me wants to go alongside her.'
Sophia fixes her glasses as she writes something in a very haphazard manner,-'What thoughts do you have?'
'Everybody is out to kill me.'
'A case of paranoia? The symptoms are very similar.' Sophia thought.
'And why do you feel that way, Blake?'
'I don't know.'
'Do you think I want to kill you as well?'
'No.' Blake answered rather quickly.
'Why is that?'
'I don't know.'
'What do you do when you think everyone is out to kill you?'
Blake stopped answering Sophia's questions. She understood his condition and stopped questioning.
'Can I leave now?' Blake asked agitatedly.
'Yes, you can.'
'Thank you.'
Sophia stopped him as he was about the leave the room- 'Blake.'
'Yes?'
'I want you to do something.'
'What is it?'
'I want you to write letters to yourself, in any form you like. You don't have to reveal them to anyone, not even to me right now. When you feel as though you're going crazy, read the letters, you'd find your answers. I know you'd never come back to me again, and so I want you to do this.'
'Why do you think I won't be back?' Blake questioned, although he knew he would never be back.
'Because, Blake some people are like ticking time bombs, the more others try to stop or fix them the more faster they tick. Sometimes some people are so damaged, a psychiatrist or another entity cannot repair them. You need to fix yourself, Blake.'