Merry Christmas to you all! (though I believe it might already be belated for most of my readers due to the time difference...)
CHAPTER 22
Rachel’s emotions went through a sort of relay race while reading the letter. They started out as an indulgent impatience with Miranda’s cheerful ramblings, and proceeded on to amusement, surprise, affection invoked by the lady’s thoughtfulness, and finally unadulterated joy at the conclusion. How could one small epistle evoke so many sentiments in her? Every suggestion put a bigger smile on her face than the last. Miranda was really so clever! But of course, the fact resounding most persistently in her head at the end was in the postscript, the information which the bubbly letter-writer had almost forgotten to convey.
Andrew was returning. He was unharmed. He would be back in England. And the best part – she would get to see him soon. Nothing else penetrated her head for some time beyond this realization.
Within a minute she had snatched up a sheet of paper and sat down to write to Lucy about Miranda’s proposal, before composing a reply to the lady in question on the solid chance that her sister will not refuse to host her for three or four days. Rachel could not keep still for a moment, and her pen flew across the paper. Within ten minutes she had accepted Miss de Manley’s gracious offer and had promised to visit her as soon as she could, even though she would be residing with her family as Miranda had so amiably suggested. And she would certainly be attending the ball; how could she refuse when her friend had been so sweetly persuasive about it?
That evening was one of extreme cheerfulness for Rachel, even though she had to go through those awful ‘talks’ with Diana and Alicia about proper maidenly behavior. It went off well enough, since the sisters affected a nice demure acceptance of her wise words and apologized prettily for their lapse in conduct, claiming wiser counsel now that would always steer them in the future. Rachel let them think they had fooled her.
“I know what you are thinking girls; I have been in that age pretty lately, when I thought that I knew best and the adults should be heard but not heeded,” she smirked to herself. She trusted her students to keep a cool head and remember her words when the occasion arose, so she had no qualms to disturb her joyful mood.
This happiness was sorely tried immediately afterwards when she had to attempt to feed Brian something light and nourishing as opposed to the three-course dinner he was demanding. But she managed to survive even that, as always.
Xxxxx
The coveted letter arrived from London in four days, eagerly extending Rachel an invitation to stay as long as she liked with her family, though it also included a gentle reprimand from her sister about the formality of asking; she should have simply turned up without a thought. Rachel smiled tenderly at this, and walked to the post-office at Denbries herself in order to post the letter to Miranda before the last mail coach of the day could leave. She would have three more days before leaving for London, and hopefully the letter would reach its destination before she herself arrived in the Capital. Then she went back and continued the lessons of the day like always, finishing off all residual topics before her departure so that her students could revise by themselves.
Diana had become extremely fidgety since the day Mr. Ashton visited Carillon Hall with his friend Paul Benetton, and charmed the Herringford family into allowing him to come regularly in the evenings to give the Misses Diana and Alicia some suggestions about musical performance. Now he was in their schoolroom every two days, sitting with the girls and either discussing the intricacies of proper fingering on the pianoforte, or helping Diana compose – and Rachel could do nothing but provide the required chaperoning. She did not like the situation much as Diana and Justin’s partiality for each other was becoming more and more evident by the day.
She had nothing against Justin, who was a very admirable young man; but she personally considered that both the parties were moving too quickly for their own good. Diana was only fifteen, for heavens’ sake! But when Diana’s parents had no objection to a young man teaching their adolescent daughters, Rachel could not do anything beyond having another serious talk with Diana about rushing a good thing.
Diana did not brush it off as lightheartedly as she had done the last time Rachel had ‘talked’ with her about her actions; both of them understood that while that was a mere formality, this conversation was more momentous in nature. Therefore, the girl earnestly assured her governess and friend that she would try to control her feelings until she was old enough to act upon them. She agreed to not enter into things too intensely since Justin still had to make his way in the world even if he felt for her as strongly as she did for him. Finally Rachel got her shaky promise to simply enjoy the time now with him as a pleasant hour or so without too many expectations for the future, and left the morose girl with an understanding squeeze to think about things she was too young to deal with.
Ah, who am I kidding? She thought to herself as she wearily made her way up the stairs to her room. One is always too young to deal with a powerful force of nature like love. I am still being incessantly overwhelmed by its destructive strength.
Xxxxx
Rachel commenced her journey to London on a most beautiful morning when the dew was still fresh on the grass, and spring was weaving its bountiful magic in the air. The weather was the only good thing which ultimately remained during the uncomfortable ride to the city, in a stagecoach full to the brim with disagreeable characters. She had to share the confined space with two jostling farmers’ wives, a morose corn-chandler, a lad who kept on whistling irritatingly all the way and a man carrying a pig, of all the weird things. How he managed to convince the stagecoach driver about it she had no idea, but the entire trip Rachel had to spend in the proximity of a barnyard animal with a strong lack of personal hygiene.
But everything comes to an end, whether it was good or bad; and finally Rachel was rapping on the large door of Lucy’s house on Cresswell Street.
There was instant uproar as her brothers opened the door and rushed up to her, grabbing her hands and jumping up and down with an unintelligible war cry. “Rachie’s here, Rachie’s back, mother, come and see!” they yelled. Putting her hands to her ears Rachel mock-glared at them for old times’ sake, before relaxing and sweeping them into a big embrace. Her dear little scamps, how they had grown in the past few months! She had missed their never-flagging enthusiasm and innocent nature more than she could have ever guessed. Her brothers might be boisterous, but they had loyal and loving hearts. Besides, they were always well-mannered before outsiders. Of course, she was specially appreciating them since she had come fresh from Brian…
The next to assault her was little Minnie who barreled into her aunt’s legs and held on fast, not even letting go when her frazzled mother ran up from the kitchen and demanded that she release her beleaguered Aunty Rachel this very moment. Her brother-in-law Paul drifted into the room from his study with spectacles on his nose and a smile on his lips, and the joyous tableau was completed when Mrs. Warren came in from the kitchen garden and dropped her gardening gloves in astonishment. Lucy had kept Rachel’s arrival a secret to surprise their mother with.
It was a grand time they had that day.
Xxxxx
The next day saw Rachel wearing her best frock and making a call on Rosemary Haven. The house towered over her as she stood on the doorstep. It was a large building of beautiful proportions with a sweeping entrance and sumptuous gardens, and murmured ‘prosperity’ to anyone looking at it. Indeed, it was a little intimidating to be approaching the chatelaine of a house like this without an appointment, and Rachel had to remind herself more than once that it was only Miranda who she was calling upon rather than some haughty dame who might snub her poor attire. She prayed that Miranda would be alone so that she need not explain to anyone who she was and how she had become an intimate of one so much higher than herself in station.
That is something we need to work on before the ball, she mused as the butler went in to announce her. Heiresses do not befriend governesses just like that, nor do they invite them to private balls.
She was in luck since the butler ushered her directly into a splendid boudoir where only a solitary woman was sitting, who leapt up on beholding the visitor.
“Rachel, you made it!” Miranda pulled the younger girl into an impetuous embrace, before backing off for a while in which they both surveyed each other. Rachel saw an auburn-haired beauty with bright jade eyes standing before her. The similarities between them were now pretty obvious, even though Miranda was so much better dressed than herself. Gone were the ugly spectacles, maid’s uniform and tight cap, and reticent comportment. That was a girl with fear tracking her footsteps at every turn; this was a poised lady with an impeccable lineage behind her and an uncomplicated future ahead. Her smile was serene, and social independence had brought dignity to her features. And yet she was evidently the author of those ebullient letters, thought Rachel fondly as she saw Miss de Manley’s impulsive friendliness towards herself.
Miranda on the other hand saw a new maturity in the governess’ face, and an extra grace in the way she held herself. Something was lost, and something new was gained in Rachel’s demeanor which she could not quite put her finger on. Anyway, it does not appear as if she has suffered unduly by her adventures. These seem to be positive changes, she thought with relief and a slight easing of guilt. However much Rachel may have assured her of her forgiveness, Miranda had continued to feel responsible about the amount of danger the other had been in for her sake.
The silence was ended when they both simultaneously broke out into smiles of pleasure. “Are you done with surveying the changes in the parlor-maid Rosie?” Miranda teased. Not to be bested, Rachel shot back, “Are you done with assessing the damages that might have been done to my person?” Laughter rang out in the cheerful room. It would continue to drift out of the open windows intermittently for the next couple of hours while Rachel stayed at Rosemary Haven.
One of the most important things which were talked about pertained to the story that will be told about Rachel’s connection to Miranda. Rachel was adamant about not hiding her background from the other guests, and Miranda wholeheartedly agreed with her. “You are my guest of honour Rachel, and one of my best friends,” she said earnestly. “I want to acknowledge you to the whole world, even though I can’t elaborate on what you have done for me. Nor do I want you to hide your identity, since that makes you the person you are and I am not ashamed to admit that my friend is a governess to a genteel family.
“With your permission, I will simply say that you were a childhood friend who I had lost touch with over the years, and that I renewed my acquaintance with you in Brighton where you were nursing your youngest charge.” With a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, she continued, “It may put a stop to any proposals you might have otherwise received from swains as besotted with your purse as your beautiful face, but I believe that you will be better off without any such encumbrances, right? Though it is a heady feeling to reject an obnoxious marriage suit with hauteur…”
“Stop it, stop it you puckish creature!” Rachel was helplessly giggling by this time. “Your plan is fine enough to carry muster and yes, I would much prefer to be known as Rachel Warren, governess extraordinaire, rather than as an exiled princess or Duchess in disguise. Lead me to the fortune hunters of your circle – they will pass me by like the idle wind I fear not.” As if I could look at anyone in that manner, she thought forlornly, with the expectation of coming upon Andrew at any moment! Whether he himself is taken or not, he holds my heart for ever.
Miranda was rather vague about the details of Andrew’s return. “All I know is that he would be arriving in England around tomorrow in a ship called The Tamarind Queen. He has finally been relieved from overseas duty, and according to his last letter he has some unfinished business out here which he must attend to in a hurry before reaching London. I have made him promise to attend my ball, but he did say that he might be late in arriving on account of this secret business. He will finally be home again though, and this time for over a month! You simply must meet him before you return to Denbries; even if he is late in arriving on the 6th, you must promise to come with me to Fairfax House the next day before your scheduled return. You will see him, won’t you? He thinks the world of you and will be pretty gloomy if he missed you.”
Oh Miranda, he thinks the world of you not me, Rachel’s heart bewailed even as she smiled and admitted to a desire to meet her old companion once again. She was determined that the happy mood of the conversation would not be spoiled by her personal rain cloud of hopelessness.
Xxxxx
Miranda gave Rachel a guided tour of the house she had bought last year and renovated with such passion, and Rachel could only wonder at all that the other woman had managed to accomplish by herself. The house was superb, as beautiful inside as it was on the outside; and yet, it did not seem to be an empty monument to fashion but rather a home to someone who loved it a lot. All it needed was some more people to fill it with gaiety and life, and Rachel soon gathered that quite a few of Miranda’s friends from the country would be coming to live there the next day in preparation for the ball.
“Did you like the name of my town house?” Miranda inquired with a roguish smile at one point. She was testing her, Rachel was sure. She twinkled back, “Oh yes, it is so lovely and original. But I don’t see any rosemary in your garden. What could you have named it after?” She put on a show of debating the matter while Miranda looked on interestedly. “Oh!” she snapped her fingers exaggeratedly, “could it be a mix of Rosie and Mira, by any chance? They are the only people I know of who needed haven at a certain point in their life, err, that is, their lives.”
Miranda laughed joyously at the dénouement. “I knew that you would see through it!” she crowed. “The only other person who caught on was Andrew…but then, he is the only other person who knows all the aspects of my life as well.” Her countenance sobered suddenly, and she studied her hands for a moment before continuing in a hushed voice. “I had to name it differently from de Manley House, and this name seemed to be perfect. I want some sort of reminder of the events of last year. I know that over time I will become complacent, and my love for my brothers might blind me to the extent that I allow them to re-enter my life and manipulate me again. Then this name will remind me of all that I had lost by trusting them once and it will hopefully prevent me from being taken in again, by them or anyone else.”
Rachel sighed, squeezed Miranda’s palm (which had not yet completely lost the calluses gained by last year’s hard labour), and changed the topic by talking about the lands of Richmond Acres in an attempt to cheer Miranda up. There was nothing to say to this. Nothing at all. Betrayal by your only surviving family is like a sting which is forever embedded in your body, and the most you can hope for is that it will dissolve with time rather than fester and cause further distress.
Xxxxx
The next time the friends met was that very evening in a public garden, where Rachel was urgently summoned by a liveried groom with the message that “Miss de Manley presents her compliments, and would be most pleased if you could be gracious enough to join her in the park off Cambourne Square…in the next fifteen minutes if it were possible, seeing as she is already there and most impatient-like to talk with you Madam.” Rachel flew there imagining all kinds of dire straits overtaking her friend, and was presented with the sight of a Miranda wringing her hands in desperation.
“What has happened, Miranda?” She ran up to her. The pretty lady sighed with relief on spying that her tension was over for now, and Rachel was presented with the perplexing conundrum of what she was supposed to wear at the ball.
“We forgot to talk about that, and my ball is in three days!” she took hold of Rachel’s hand and tugged her towards a waiting phaeton. “I came to see you as soon as it was possible. You need to come with me to Rosemary Haven this very moment, and we will choose a gown for you that can be altered in a hurry. Luckily we are mostly of a size, but still some changes might be required. I cannot believe I overlooked such an important matter when you had come to the house!”
Rachel almost felt like laughing. So this was the great problem, because of which she had suffered palpitations for the past ten minutes! Shaking her head, she forced her amusement down since it was clearly a matter of concern for Miranda and tried to address the question with the sobriety it apparently demanded.
“Do not worry about my costume, Miranda. I have talked with Lucy and she is already altering one of her newer gowns for me as we speak. I do not think that dressing me up in borrowed feathers is going to change what I am in essence, so I will adorn myself according to my status in life rather than deceive everyone with a grand Cinderella act. Being married to a university professor, Lucy has more than one appealing gown which would do perfectly well for me.”
Miranda huffed in exasperation. “Really Rachel, I swear you take this self-respect thing too far at times. It is fine that you want to be yourself, but don’t you feel like simply breaking out of the mould and living for the sake of fun, just for once? Do you not want to sweep all men off their feet with a splendid entrance and leave them yearning for more at the end of the night?”
Rachel faltered in the face of such words. Was she really taking herself and her pride too seriously? She would not be deceiving anyone; she will admit her origins to whosoever asked and hence, no one could accuse her of attempting to entrap any eligible candidate. Should she really play at being Cinderella for an evening, just to see what it felt like to be desired – not by a lecher or an adolescent boy, but a man the world could respect? After all, she would quite possibly never attend another private ball in her life; shouldn’t she make use of what opportunities life was gifting her?
And maybe it will change the way Andrew looked at her, if only for that one night. He might even ask her for a dance…
“Alright Miranda,” she whispered. Her companion gave a rather childish squeal of pleasure, on hearing which common sense momentarily returned to Rachel and she added in a stronger voice, “But I will be choosing the gown, not you!”
Xxxxx
She had reason to be glad of that clause within the next hour. Miranda’s enthusiasm was reaching scary levels. She had several gorgeous gowns in different hues, materials and fashions. Since she was no longer a debutante, Miranda owned jewel-toned gowns as well as the compulsory pastel shades considered an essential part of an unmarried woman’s wardrobe. The designs were mostly demure and apposite, but there were a few that almost verged on daring. The materials ranged from wholesome muslins to elegant lace, from stiff brocades to enchanting silks and satins. And right now, all of them were placed at a bemused Rachel’s disposal.
“No, Miranda,” she finally interrupted the other girl’s eulogy on a sapphire silk creation with silverwork across the bodice. “I am not going to go to the ball in something I will not be comfortable in. That silk thing, these glittery pieces of froth, they are not me. Their borrowed nature would radiate from every seam.”
“But you have to wear something, Rachel,” Miranda coaxed her sweetly. Rachel cast around desperately, and suddenly her eyes lighted upon the very thing. How had it remained hidden from their notice for so long? “Don’t worry Miranda; I believe I found what I have been searching for.” She strode over to the collection of muslins piled in a corner, and picked up a particular dress reverently.
It was pure white in color, with a modest sweetheart neckline and short puffed sleeves picked out in silver satin ribbons that ended in small bows over her skin. The ankle-length skirt billowed out from the tucks in the low waist in soft folds, and looked like a shimmering cloud on a misty morning. A bunch of white satin roses sat on one corner of the waistline and trailed two silver ribbons down her hip, the only embellishment something as pure as this dress could require.
Miranda inspected the garment. “I had forgotten I had that one,” she murmured, before turning around and appraising Rachel intently. She snapped her fingers, her decision made. “Yes, do put it on.”
Rachel went off behind the changing screen, and eventually emerged wearing the muslin gown. It was not shapeless on her, though the length required to be taken in a little. In fact it hugged all the right places and made a queenly figure out of the young woman, even with her rebellious hair tumbling out of its bun all over her shoulders. Miranda caught her breath. “You were correct as usual, Rachel.” Her eyes suddenly brimmed over with some undefined emotion. “I had been trying to play Fairy Godmother all this while so that you could be as carefree as everyone else for a change, but now I understand that I had actually been stifling you. This dress embodies your purity of heart, your modest nature and lets your inner beauty shine through. It is perfect for you.”
Rachel blushed furiously. “You are only supposed to say the last part. Pray do not cover me in praise without warning!” she joked. “I did not choose this dress for any reason other than that I fell in love with it the moment I saw it. You are sure that I can borrow it? I might get it dirty by mistake,” she added in a worried tone.
Miranda waved away all such concerns negligently. “As I had told you, I had forgotten that I owned that gown before you pulled it out of that jumble. I would offer it to you for keeping, but I know that you would not accept a gift like that. Therefore, all that I ask of you is that you wear it and love it for one evening to your heart’s content.”
Just like I hope to do with Andrew, Rachel thought with a return of her melancholia. I will see him for one more evening and love him to my heart’s content, before returning him wholeheartedly to the woman he loves.
Xxxxx
She declined Miranda’s offer of coming to the house some hours before the ball so that the real Rosie, Miranda’s maid, could dress her hair for her. “You have really done too much for me my dear,” she said affectionately. “I don’t want our friendship to be brought into the spotlight, as it will doubtless be if I stay at your house and am exposed to your other houseguests for an extended duration. I would much rather prefer to come in unobtrusively after a jolly crowd has gathered, so that there would be less chance of people cross-examining me about my antecedents or our Brighton connection. Rest assured I will be here within an hour of your party getting started so as to not miss out on any entertainment at all.”
And thus ended Rachel’s association with Miranda till the day of the ball. After that dress selection Miranda became too busy with preparations to call on Rachel, and the later also respected the former’s schedule and decided to delay any more conversations until the momentous ball was over. Though it had not been explicitly mentioned, Rachel knew that this was Miranda’s first social function as an independent hostess and thus, it was an important affair that could make or break Miss de Manley’s reputation in the Ton. Therefore, she distracted herself with her family and prohibited her mind from wandering to Andrew’s presence on English terrain – at least more than five times a day.
The three days flew by. Before she was aware of it, the evening of the ball had arrived and she was sitting at Lucy’s vanity table having her sister brush her long tresses before twisting them into a simple knot at the nape of her neck.
“I am so happy that you are going to this ball tonight, Rachie,” Lucy said absently as she poked a couple of pins into Rachel’s long-suffering head. “You might even meet with some wonderful bachelor who will take a shine to you tonight. You have always been too much of a house-bound person; I think that if an adventure were offered to you, you would shake your curls at it and refuse to budge from your kitchen hearth.” Rachel felt like both laughing and crying at this statement. What would Lucy think if she knew about her escapades across England with Andrew, prancing around under a false name? She would most probably dismiss it immediately as a gross untruth.
“This Miss Miranda sounds like a good sort,” Lucy was continuing as she laced Rachel up prior to slipping the dress over her head. “Anyone who helps you to get by in those days of nursing Brian Herringford must deserve our gratitude for life; after all, she ensured that our Rachel returned to us sane of mind! Now turn around slowly and face the mirror…you are done. My handiwork deserves an award, if I do say so myself.”
Rachel swung around with a bit of trepidation, and let out a sigh of relief on beholding her reflection. She still looked like herself, though a much smarter version of herself if truth were told. Her hair was up in some sort of a braided chignon and white tea roses from Lucy’s garden were entwined among the loops as well as tucked around the edges of the knot. The few strands left out in the front curled down to her cheeks and shoulders, and seemed artless rather than studied in nature.
The dress fit like a dream, having been perfectly modified by a seamstress the day before. The low waistline might be behind the times, but it emphasized Rachel’s height and slender built and made her look like a sylph. Lucy had offered her a silvery shawl to cover herself against the chill of the spring night air. A cerulean reticule and a silk fan in like tints completed the outfit by giving it a much needed splash of color and bringing out the color of her eyes. The self-same eyes were very bright in Rachel’s fresh face in anticipation of the forthcoming evening, and her cheeks glowed pink in appreciation of her image. Lucy sure knew how to dress one up.
Rachel Warren was ready to attend the first ball of her life.
--xx--xx--
AN: Hark the drums rolling in the distance. The stage is set, the actors ready to appear...let the curtains raise! Oops, its time for a break, heh heh!