Cheri walked around in a daze the first week, her mind playing over the words Tommaso said to her.
Cheri, I'm so sorry...apparently Petrov decided to use the 'impromptu' meeting as a bomb site. Lorenzo was hurt, Sal, Rico and Diego received cuts and bruises. Alessio's body wasn't found.
What did she do now? She didn't have any idea how to survive this.
Dragging herself to the bathroom, she took a quick shower and found a simple black dress, put it on and applied light makeup. Not really caring about her hair, she put it up in a messy bun.
Picking up her phone she called and asked Lorenzo to meet her in Alessio's study. Taking a deep breath, she walked out the door for the first time in a week.
She hesitated, her hand hovering over the handle. She hadn't been in there since...
"Cheri?" Lorenzo called out softly. Sniffing, she wiped under her nose, turned and looked at him. "I don't know how I'm supposed to do this" she sobbed.
Pulling her to him, he said softly "With the help of your famiglia." Nodding, she pressed down on the handle as the door creaked open.
The first thing that hit her was his lingering scent. She walked slowly to the desk they'd made love on once, the tears starting again.
She looked to the left at the couch she'd given him a massage on, her breath hitching as she continued forward.
Finally reaching it, she pulled the chair out slowly and sat down. She closed her eyes and gripped the front of the desk with both hands.
"I need a meet with Don Silveri, please" she said, her voice raspy from crying. "Already set up. He'll be here within the hour" Lorenzo told her.
"Okay, what do I need to know?" she asked. He talked to her about as much as he could in an hour's time and said they would talk after her meeting with Silveri.
"Mistress Castellano" Don Silveri greeted her respectfully. Cheri took both of his hands in hers and bowed her lips, kissing him as a show of respect.
"Don Silveri, thank you for meeting with me. I know your time is valuable, so I will get straight to the point.
I don't believe my husband is dead, therefore, until he is found or his body is found, I want the Castellano family to still function.
With your blessing and the help of his under boss and Consigliere, we can keep our name and reputation intact." She finished and then sat back, giving the Don time to digest what she proposed.
"Cheri, you have my full support as well as my agreeing with you on Alessio being dead. I don't believe it either.
You two have an incredible bond and I believe if he were truly dead, you'd know it.
Please call on me for anything you need" he told her as he stood up. Cheri walked him to the door where Lorenzo would escort him to his vehicle.
Cheri closed the door, kicked off her heels and walked back to Alessio's desk. Crawling on top of it, she laid down on her side, rubbing her belly and sobbing.
She really tried to believe that he wasn't dead but she just couldn't reconcile everything in her brain and head. Her eyes felt very heavy as she let them close.
Cheri stirred when she heard Cassidy's voice. "Hey girl" she said softly. "How'd I get here?" she asked sleepily.
Cassidy was grabbing her some boxers and a tank then answered her question. "Lorenzo and Mas found you asleep on Alessio's desk. Mas carried you up here and asked me to look after you."
Smiling wanly at her friend, Cheri told her thank you. "Do you need anything?" she asked Cheri. "I would love some mint and honey green tea, please?" she replied.
Cassidy nodded and left the room. Cheri sat on the edge of their bed, on Alessio's side, her heart clutching inside her chest.
"I don't know how to do this" she cried out. Looking up at the heavens, she whispered "Please help me."
Cassidy returned with her tea, spent a little more time with her and then left to go be with Tommaso.
Lorenzo would want to meet early in the morning to get her caught up on everything, so Cheri tried her best to sleep. It wouldn't come.
Her alarm went off way too early for the amount of sleep she got and she was sure she'd hear about it too.
Mas didn't say anything, he didn't have to. She got the look along with a fresh fruit smoothie.
Lorenzo just glared at her, making her uncomfortable. "Lets go" she snapped irritably.
Cheri would spend the next five weeks running "the family" and she was quite good at it.
She garnerd respect from the other heads and kept everything running like he would have wanted.
Today she was sixteen weeks and it was time for another appointment and once again she told Rudy she didn't want to know the sex, not without Alessio.
She had more meetings and phone calls up until seven o'clock.
Exhausted, she started cleaning up. Usually she had only two emotions here lately and those were give up, don't give up. Today she wanted to give up.
Laying down on his desk, her front always facing his chair, she started talking.
"I used to think I could do this, survive. I'm not strong enough. You make me strong. You are my better half.
I don't feel whole anymore. This little piece of you, that's growing right here, is the only reason I haven't swallowed a bottle of pills."
She started crying again, this time her whole body shook as she totally let go.
She felt so tired and weak after that breakdown but cleansed somehow as well.
Cheri wasn't ready to get up so she just laid there rubbing her belly.
"Daddy's going to flip when he sees how big you're getting" Cheri said, speaking to her protruding belly.
She felt like she was going to lose it again and started speaking Italian.
"I can't do this! I can't live another second without a kiss. I can't bear not hearing your voice. I can't do this without you" she cried.
"You'll never have to" an all too familiar voice said softly.
Whipping around on top of the desk, Cheri's hand flew to her mouth.
"Alessio"?