Two days after Christmas, Erinoto arrived at her doorstep at the time that Markie normally did.
“Hey Erinoto,” Lela greeted him, ushering him into her house.
“Hi Lela,” Erinoto grinned at her, “Markie sent me over ‘cause he’s sick and didn’t want to get you sick.”
“Oh, well tell him to rest up and get better quickly,” Lela replied, remembering that Markie had said something about the fact that he felt like was coming down with something, when he had spoken with her the other day.
“Is Derik here?” Erinoto asked.
Lela smiled and indulged Erinoto by giving him her younger brother’s whereabouts.
~
When Markie didn’t come over the next day, Lela resolved to go visit him instead. She set to work cooking some soup to bring as a get well soon gift. The next day both she and Johhin, traipsed over to the Fandrin's homestead.
Salina opened the door, “Hi Lela. Hey Johhin.”
“Hi Salina,” Lela replied, smiling at her, “We came to see if Markie was really sick or if he was just avoiding us.”
Salina wrinkled her nose, “He’s sick alright. He was throwing up all last night.”
“Is he up to visitors?” Johhin asked.
Salina shrugged, but left to find out. She returned quickly, “He says he wants to see you both.”
So Lela and Johhin walked into the room that Salina had just exited. Markie was sitting, propped up in bed, looking both flushed and pale and quite miserable.
“You look horrible,” Johhin observed.
“Thanks,” Markie replied, “I feel horrible too.”
“I made you some soup,” Lela spoke up, “But Salina said you aren’t eating much right now.”
“After last night, I might never eat again,” Markie replied wryly, “Although I’m sure if you made that soup, it will taste wonderful.”
Lela smiled at his compliment.
“Yeesh,” Johhin commented, “You too are a little too lovey dovey sometimes. Markie, don’t let this girl change you too much. Remember, I knew you first.”
“Only because you were born first,” Lela retorted.
They spent a few hours keeping Markie company, but by the end of their visit, Markie kept nodding off. So Lela and Johhin slipped out, deciding to let him rest.
~
It was Salina who rapped on Lela’s door late the next night. Derik and Malia were already in bed, and everyone else was getting ready to retire.
“Salina?” Johhin asked as he opened the door to reveal her standing on the front step.
“Markie’s getting worse,” were the first words out of her mouth, “We had the doctor out this afternoon and he doesn’t know of anything to help. He thinks it’s an infection from his shoulder. Markie was asking for you Lela.”
Salina looked past Johhin, to meet Lela’s gaze. Lela stood frozen for a few seconds. Markie was getting worse. What did that mean? He couldn’t be dangerously sick, could he? He had survived the war. He was courting her. He couldn’t be sick like her father had been. He just couldn’t. What did Salina mean that the doctor didn’t know what to do? How could Markie have gotten worse enough, in one day, that he required a doctor to come out and see him? Lela remember that Markie had turn his old wound open a few days ago, pushing himself more than he should have been, but wounds healed just fine all of the time.
“Lela,” Johhin’s voice broke into her thoughts, “We should go.”
Lela hurried to pull on her boots and find her cloak and mittens. Once fully attired, Johhin escorted her and Salina over to the Fandrin’s farm.
The first thing that Lela noticed when she stepped into Markie’s house, was the way that Mrs. Fandrin’s brows were knit together in concern and worry. She had that look on her face, which Lela’s mother had worn for weeks before her father had died, ever since she had known that death was a possibility. The expression that Lela still saw cross her face whenever Jalin’s name was mentioned.
“Lela, Johhin, I’m glad you made it,” she greeted them and led them into the bedroom that Markie and Erinoto shared.
And then Lela saw Markie, and could feel her face contort into an expression that mirrored the one on Mrs. Fandrin’s face.
“Markie?” Lela asked, as she reached out to grab one of his hands, placing her other hand on his forehead.
She almost drew back as her fingers touched the heat of his face. He was so hot. Too hot.
“He’s burning up!” She exclaimed, looking back at Mrs. Fandrin, who nodded helplessly.
“Lela?” Markie turned his fevered gaze to hers, gripping her hand tightly in his as shiver racked through his body
“It’s cold,” he complained, dropping Lela’s hand to reach for the light blanket that covered his legs and hips.
Lela took his hand back in hers, knowing that his fever was too high for him to be lying underneath a blanket. Johhin joined her near the bed, resting a hand on Markie’s shoulder. He stood opposite Lela, and reflected her worried gaze. Markie dropped Lela’s hand again, to reach over and place his hand over Johhin’s. Markie left his hand there for a couple of seconds, then reached for Lela again.
“Lela?”
“Yes, Markie.”
“The doc didn’t know if I was going to beat this, and I’ve been carrying your ring around for days now, waiting for the perfect moment.”
“Markie, no,” Lela shook her head, “Not now. You’re strong and healthy. You’ll beat this illness.”
“Johhin, can you get it from my pants pocket? The pair hanging over that chair,” Markie continued as if he hadn’t heard her.
Johhin moved away, and returned carrying a gold ring in his hand. Markie let go of Lela’s hand and reached for it.
“Lela Kaltanis,” Markie began, “I know I’m not down on one knee, but if I love you so much. If I make it through this, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
Lela couldn’t see anymore through the haze of tears that were pooling in her eyes, “Of course, Markie. But you have to promise me that when you make it through this, you’ll propose to me properly. I don’t want my memory of the start of our lives together to be marred by thoughts of how close I came to losing you.”
“It’s a deal,” Markie said smiling at her, “Now give me your hand.”
Lela allowed him to slide the ring on her finger. She looked down at her hand as he did so, noting the small gold band and little diamond that graced it. It was small, but it was beautiful and delicate, and she knew that Markie must have spent a lot to obtain it.
“It’s beautiful Markie,” she managed to choke out.
“Not half as beautiful as you are,” Markie replied, raising his hand to wipe a tear off of her cheek, “I love you, Lela.”
“I love you too, Markie,” Lela responded, feeling her heart break at the prospect of losing him now.
Lela stayed by his bedside for the rest of the night. By the time dawn broke the next day, Markie’s fever was worse. He was hallucinating and wouldn’t drink any of the water they offered him. Trying to force him to drink wasn’t any more successful.
In the end, Lela hadn’t been engaged for longer than 24 hours when her fiancé passed away. Lela cried and raged. How could God do this to her? Why would he save Markie from death in the war, only to let him die mere months after returning to the relative safety of home? She had just begun to feel happy again, now her life was torn in two once more. She was alone. Her fiancé was dead, any girlfriends she had had from before the war, she couldn’t relate to anymore, and the men she had considered her friends during the war had shunned her completely. The only person she could talk to at all anymore, was Johhin. And after Markie’s death, Johhin was as distraught as she was.
Bitterly, Lela had to wonder when the rest of the people she cared about would be wrenched away from her as well. What dire fate awaited Johhin, her mother, Sasha, Derik or Malia? Life was so unfair.
~
Markie’s funeral was held the next day. A group of men did their best to cut away chunks of the frozen ground, in order to carve out Markie’s final resting place. Johhin was among those who labored, his muscles straining, as tears fell from his eyes.
Lela stood to the side, hugging her arms against her body, as much as in an attempt to warm herself, as it was to keep herself from falling apart. Slow tears trickled down her cheeks, before the wind blew them away from her face.
When the grave had been dug, and Markie’s coffin lowered into it. Everyone took turns remembering memories and saying kind things about him. Lela barely managed to get her words out. When everyone was ready, the men who had dug the grave stepped forward to lower the coffin into the hole they had prepared.
Then, starting with Mrs. Fandrin, the members of Markie’s family, then his friends stepped forward to place a shovel of dirt over the coffin. Lela followed Erinoto, listening to Mrs. Fandrin’s choked sobs ahead of her. Watching the way Erinoto did his best to stand tall, to comfort his mother and sisters. The Fandrin’s didn’t deserve this. Markie had been shouldering the weight of his father’s burdens for years, and now all that responsibility had been placed on a ten year olds mind. It was so unfair.
Lela returned home accompanied by her silent family, everyone grieving in their own way, but she didn’t follow them into the house. Instead, she went to the barn. Walking down the aisle way, she stopped in front of Sugarplum’s stall. Their reliable draft horse nickered at her as she approached, hoping that she came with grain or some other treat. Lela unlatched the stall door and stepped inside. She strode up to the horse, and buried her face in Sugarplum’s neck. Clinging to the gentle mare, Lela let loose the sorrow inside her.
She must have been there for an hour or more before she decided to climb astride the mare. Before she mounted, she fashioned a makeshift bridle and reins out of the mare’s halter and lead rope. Then, hitching her skirt up tell it was around her knees, much higher than was decent, she swung a leg over Sugarplum’s back, and rode her out of her stall, then out of the barn. Once outside, Lela kicked her reluctant mount into a trot.
“Come on girl,” Lela urged, trying to get her to canter, to gallop, but the mare wasn’t a riding horse and didn’t respond to the kicks on her sides.
Finally, Lela reached behind her and slapped the mare as hard as she could across the rump. It worked, kind of, and the mare took off at a fast canter across the snowy fields. Lela let the wind blow her bonnet so that it hung around her neck. Her hair blew out of its braid and stung her cheeks. The pain felt good though. It felt so much better than the aching in her chest.
Riding felt good. It had been so long since she had been on a horse. She had missed it. Sugarplum slowed down far too soon for Lela; she was nothing like Silver had been. Nowhere near as fast as the steeds Lela had ridden into battle, but still, it felt good to simple amble along with the warmth of a horse between her legs.
Darkness was falling by the time Lela returned home.
“Lela!” Johhin’s voice was the first thing she heard, “Where have you been? I was about to start searching for you!”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was going,” Lela replied as she slid down off of Sugarplum’s back.
“Lela, you can’t just run off like that,” Johhin’s spoke with concern, “Mother is nearly beside herself with worry.”
“I wasn’t thinking,” Lela admitted.
Johhin grabbed her in a rough hug, “I know. I miss him too. Already, I miss him so much.”
“Johhin, there was a time, before this crazy war, when all I ever wanted was to marry Markie, to have a bunch of kids with him, and to farm this land.”
“I know.” Johhin replied, resting his chin on top of her head as he held her close.
“Now, that can never happen,” Lela rested her forehead against her brother’s chest, and realized that the last bit of who she was before she left had slipped away. Everything had changed now. And things would never be the same.
~
The months passed, and Lela endured them in a mixture of rage and apathy. She forced herself to keep busy, to try to keep from thinking, but that effort was only halfway successful. There was never enough to do in the winter months, and even though every time saw the gold band wrapped around her finger, Lela couldn’t bring herself to remove it.
It was June when the news reached her small town of Mishka. The war was over! The Kyran army had finally managed to defeat the Nemians. They had driven them off, and the entire remaining enemy had sailed away from the island of Kyra. The Kyrans were victorious!
Everyone rejoiced. There were parties in the streets and all the bars were full that night. Families waited hopefully for the men that they had sent off to return home. Hoping and praying that their loved one had survived.
Lela’s family waited with held breath for the hope that Jalin would return unharmed. It took a few weeks before the soldiers started returning home, and every night that passed since that first son and brother arrived in Mishka, the fear grew in the hearts of the families who were still missing those they held dear. In the end, of the 25 men that Mishka had sent off to the war, only 12 of them returned, including Markie. And Jalin was not among them.
If Lela had thought that Johhin had taken Markie’s death hard, it was nothing compared to how her reacted to Jalin’s death. He withdrew, grew silent and serious. All of his good humor seemed to evaporate.
“I think I knew it already,” Johhin confided to Lela one night, “but he was my other half. I don’t know what life is going to be like without him.”
Lela had no reply. She understood Johhin’s loss, for it was hers as well. She had also lost a brother, she had lost friends, and she had lost the man that she had been prepared to join her life with.
At least summer brought with it plenty of work, lots of chores to keep her busy. She labored with Johhin out in the fields, even though he tried to dissuade her.
“Lela, field work is not for women,” he protested.
“Johhin, I fought in the war for 6 months. I can handle some field work.”
“Derik can help me.”
“Derik is eight.”
“You can help with the lighter stuff that you and mother and Sasha normally help with.”
“I can help with it all.”
“But you don’t need to,” Johhin insisted, “I can handle it myself.”
“Johhin, you’re only one man. Even when you and father and Jalin all worked together it was a lot of work.”
“Lela, it isn’t seemly,” Johhin tried one last time.
“It doesn’t matter. Everyone around here already knows that I took off with the army. No one is going to care if I disgrace myself further.”
So Johhin gave in and let Lela work out in the hot sun, doing the back breaking work of plowing and harvesting the crops.